Disgusterous

Author Topic: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate  (Read 2273 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Berek

  • Guest
School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« on: July 09, 2007, 09:55:32 PM »
I was informed by a worried parent the other day that her son often comes home from school and tells her that my lad is being bullied. I am aware of this, and we know who the 2 kids are who bully him. They know that he is easily wound up ( due to his mental state ) and he lashes out at them and therefore gets in trouble with the teacher and ends up being the one punished.

Now , give him his due, he made a vow in his Karate class that he would not use his skills ( he holds an orange belt ) unless himself or his family were in mortal danger, but deep down i'd love to see him use it on these little shits that are making his life a misery. I've felt the force of one of his roundhouse kicks, and another 7 year old woule be laid out, but of course Mrs C will not have it cussing:

Offline GROWLER

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 17808
  • Reputation: 0
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2007, 10:18:12 PM »
Very very, in fact extremely dodgy problem that Begsy...imo.

He presumably then has the skill to kill?
Don't know a great deal about martial arts, but I do know that they can be used quite simply to inflict mortal damage if required if you know where on the body to strike, which I presume he does.

I think...following on from a similar ongoing problem with G.Jnr., that tackling the school...good luck  ::) and then the parents is your only course of action at this time.

Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

  • Fool Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4917
  • Reputation: 0
  • What a dead end job . .
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2007, 09:31:35 AM »
FWIW Berek, my son was in a similar situation many years ago. He was being picked on by several of the class 'hard men'. I suggested he take up Tae Kwon Do ,which he did. He zoomed through the belts to black, and, on one memorable occasion, was accosted by 3 of these 'heavies' who proceeded to taunt him about his TKD. They thought this was great fun. Until he decided that he'd had enough when one held him and another thumped him. It was at this point that he put his new found skills to work and sorted out all three. Laid one out and sent the other two running off with black eyes. After that, he was left alone.

He is now studying to become a teacher of TKD with the same school he learned at - and he's 22 and very well adjusted.
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline GROWLER

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 17808
  • Reputation: 0
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2007, 09:43:27 AM »
FWIW Berek, my son was in a similar situation many years ago. He was being picked on by several of the class 'hard men'. I suggested he take up Tae Kwon Do ,which he did. He zoomed through the belts to black, and, on one memorable occasion, was accosted by 3 of these 'heavies' who proceeded to taunt him about his TKD. They thought this was great fun. Until he decided that he'd had enough when one held him and another thumped him. It was at this point that he put his new found skills to work and sorted out all three. Laid one out and sent the other two running off with black eyes. After that, he was left alone.

He is now studying to become a teacher of TKD with the same school he learned at - and he's 22 and very well adjusted.

If the skills can definately be kept under control, then it's got to be a huge advantage.
Begsy, I hope you don't think I was suggesting your youngster may not be able to, just what you wrote (being a bit of a hot head) made me slightly worried about possible future serious trouble he could land himself in if he 'lost it'.

I tried sending GROWLER jnr to similar classes, but he really couldn't hack it being the big daft softie that he is. I didn't like to force him if he really hated it that much. Miss Growler stuck it out though funnily enough. confused:

Misunderstood

  • Guest
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2007, 10:47:02 AM »
Only speaking personally.

When I was about 12, I was the constant target of three or four bullyboys at my school.  I was under orders from my mother to 'Turn the other cheek' as fighting was deplorable, "Sticks and Stones" etc.,

After a while, I got to be fed up of being the butt of jokes, abuse and being the gofer, so one day when being beaten up by a 14 yo in pure anger I picked up a house-brick and sent him to hospital.  His mate, who had aimed yet another kick at my stomach was surprised when I grabbed his boot and gave it a very sharp twist.  We both heard the 'crack' of his ankle going and he joined his mate down the hospital.

I was flayed alive by the parents of those kids and punished by my own mother as well.  I went through weeks of hell of recriminations and social cold-shouldering but I didn't care because I was flushed with pride and success, that was to be the last time anyone ever laid hand on me in anger.  I learned the lesson that total brute force in retaliation can be devastating and I can honestly say I have never ever attacked anyone in my life, but even to this day, people are warned not to push their luck with me.

I would not encourage anyone to emulate what I did and I suffered in quite different ways for a long time afterwards, but I thought it was worth it for the kudos and self respect it brought over the years, but... it took a lot of conscious effort with my new reputation not to begin bullying myself.    I can see why bullies are bullies!  It is the first taste of power to a child and that too, is addictive.   It might be the only time in their lives where they are 'the boss' and they won't give it up without a bloody nose.  I would further add that in my day, we didn't involve the police in our troubles, let alone solicitors!  And when a dispute was settled, it stayed settled. we never went in for counter attacks to save face later or kicking a man when he was down. It was a wholly different style of life then and we had a bit of integrity and honour and you can't count on that today.

But I learned to be confident in how I related to others, and more importantly learned that if you don't respect yourself nobody else will ever do it for you.   Defeatism is endemic and just as addictive as aggression, the more anyone puts up with, the the more  they are put upon, and every day that you put it off, it gets harder to break the mould and rebel, some people never manage it and some finally snap in middle age but from experience, I would say if you aim to get a reputation for looking after yourself, the younger the better!  It takes less effort and you get more leeway, especially in these days of courts and compensation.   More importantly, it gives yourself a longer period of self respect and confidence to be of use in character building,  maybe it's worth noting that I ended up being friends with the kid whose ankle I fractured and that lasted many years.

But as with everything else in this life, it comes with risks, and everybody has to decide for themselves whether they are worth taking or not, in most cases it ends up as pure fortune anyway.
 

Offline Bar Wench

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 13786
  • Reputation: 0
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2007, 10:50:49 AM »
I'm afraid in this situation I am a believer in do it once and you will never have to do it again. I was bullied until we moved schools and then it was my Brother's turn. I lost the plot with his bully one day and had to be dragged off him by three teachers. Neither of us was touched again.


Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 36950
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2007, 11:26:52 AM »
FWIW Berek, my son was in a similar situation many years ago. He was being picked on by several of the class 'hard men'. I suggested he take up Tae Kwon Do ,which he did. He zoomed through the belts to black, and, on one memorable occasion, was accosted by 3 of these 'heavies' who proceeded to taunt him about his TKD. They thought this was great fun. Until he decided that he'd had enough when one held him and another thumped him. It was at this point that he put his new found skills to work and sorted out all three. Laid one out and sent the other two running off with black eyes. After that, he was left alone.

He is now studying to become a teacher of TKD with the same school he learned at - and he's 22 and very well adjusted.

If the skills can definately be kept under control, then it's got to be a huge advantage.
Begsy, I hope you don't think I was suggesting your youngster may not be able to, just what you wrote (being a bit of a hot head) made me slightly worried about possible future serious trouble he could land himself in if he 'lost it'.

I tried sending GROWLER jnr to similar classes, but he really couldn't hack it being the big daft softie that he is. I didn't like to force him if he really hated it that much. Miss Growler stuck it out though funnily enough. confused:

You may find that Growler jnr may prefer something like Judo or JuJitsu classes instead. There is less belting your opponent and more throwing them, I did it for a while when I was a kid and its effective for dealing with bullies. Being thrown half across the playground in front of half the school really buggers up a bully's power.

Something it coult be worth considering Berek. While he wont use his TKD I'm pretty sure that there are C&R (or whatever the current incarnation is called) techniques that if he learned on the quiet, could be used to sort his antagonists out......
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.

Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

  • Fool Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4917
  • Reputation: 0
  • What a dead end job . .
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2007, 11:48:41 AM »
Only speaking personally.

When I was about 12, I was the constant target of three or four bullyboys at my school.  I was under orders from my mother to 'Turn the other cheek' as fighting was deplorable, "Sticks and Stones" etc.,

After a while, I got to be fed up of being the butt of jokes, abuse and being the gofer, so one day when being beaten up by a 14 yo in pure anger I picked up a house-brick and sent him to hospital.  His mate, who had aimed yet another kick at my stomach was surprised when I grabbed his boot and gave it a very sharp twist.  We both heard the 'crack' of his ankle going and he joined his mate down the hospital.

I was flayed alive by the parents of those kids and punished by my own mother as well.  I went through weeks of hell of recriminations and social cold-shouldering but I didn't care because I was flushed with pride and success, that was to be the last time anyone ever laid hand on me in anger.  I learned the lesson that total brute force in retaliation can be devastating and I can honestly say I have never ever attacked anyone in my life, but even to this day, people are warned not to push their luck with me.

I would not encourage anyone to emulate what I did and I suffered in quite different ways for a long time afterwards, but I thought it was worth it for the kudos and self respect it brought over the years, but... it took a lot of conscious effort with my new reputation not to begin bullying myself.    I can see why bullies are bullies!  It is the first taste of power to a child and that too, is addictive.   It might be the only time in their lives where they are 'the boss' and they won't give it up without a bloody nose.  I would further add that in my day, we didn't involve the police in our troubles, let alone solicitors!  And when a dispute was settled, it stayed settled. we never went in for counter attacks to save face later or kicking a man when he was down. It was a wholly different style of life then and we had a bit of integrity and honour and you can't count on that today.

But I learned to be confident in how I related to others, and more importantly learned that if you don't respect yourself nobody else will ever do it for you.   Defeatism is endemic and just as addictive as aggression, the more anyone puts up with, the the more  they are put upon, and every day that you put it off, it gets harder to break the mould and rebel, some people never manage it and some finally snap in middle age but from experience, I would say if you aim to get a reputation for looking after yourself, the younger the better!  It takes less effort and you get more leeway, especially in these days of courts and compensation.   More importantly, it gives yourself a longer period of self respect and confidence to be of use in character building,  maybe it's worth noting that I ended up being friends with the kid whose ankle I fractured and that lasted many years.

But as with everything else in this life, it comes with risks, and everybody has to decide for themselves whether they are worth taking or not, in most cases it ends up as pure fortune anyway.
 

That brings back memories . .  similar situation, I lost it with two of 'em, got one by the neck, and, ignoring the belts and kicks from the other, hung on. He was going blue! Two members of staff and a couple of other class members eventually prised my fingers from his neck. Caned by the head, but:

They left me alone after that! Result or what?
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2007, 11:57:09 AM »
[serious post] I don't know if this proves anything or not, but my experience is of Public School in the 50?s and there really was none of the systematic bullying you all describe.

Perhaps it was the ethos of the school as a whole that made it self-regulating. Yes there were some spats here and there but in the main, the discipline just came down from the senior to junior pupils and trouble stopped because it was ?not the way things were done?.

Never were the Masters involved, or parents for that matter.

Just an observation really, I am not making any class or willy-waving point, it was just quite different. [/serious post]

In answer to your other obvious questions:

1. No I wasn?t.
2. No I didn?t
3. I left before he got there
4. I still can?t
I mostly despair

Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

  • Fool Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4917
  • Reputation: 0
  • What a dead end job . .
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2007, 12:04:11 PM »
[serious post] I don't know if this proves anything or not, but my experience is of Public School in the 50?s and there really was none of the systematic bullying you all describe.

Perhaps it was the ethos of the school as a whole that made it self-regulating. Yes there were some spats here and there but in the main, the discipline just came down from the senior to junior pupils and trouble stopped because it was ?not the way things were done?.

Never were the Masters involved, or parents for that matter.

Just an observation really, I am not making any class or willy-waving point, it was just quite different. [/serious post]

In answer to your other obvious questions:

1. No I wasn?t.   eeek:
2. No I didn?t      whistle:
3. I left before he got there    char048
4. I still can?t   happy001

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline GROWLER

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 17808
  • Reputation: 0
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2007, 01:04:12 PM »
My 'crime' for being picked on and bullied?
Had a squint in one eye and wore glasses.
Tormented relentlessly. They used to sing obscene mocking songs at me...bastards.
I'd truly love to meet them all again today to repay them all for their spiteful hatred. evil:

Nowt so cruel as other kids.

Berek

  • Guest
Re: School grump 4 - Bullying and Karate
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2007, 06:15:03 PM »
He's smacked one of them over the head with a stick today.. point:

It's so close to end of term I couldnt care less what he does for the next week..