The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Grumpmeister]

Grandma and Grandpa now aloft (with Ryanair  ) I am off to show Miss I my 15 pages 

All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy. All work and no play makes Nick a dull boy.

 

If he starts going "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeres Nicky!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I'm off.... 

[Steve]

Oh Mr Darwin please don't make me laugh it pulls on my stitches!


Please tell him Miss C.

Better with stitches than without

Hope you both get a good night's sleep and get well on the mend

[Miss Creant]

Thanks Steve they are kicking us out tomorrow. It will be a sleepy duvet day in our own beds won't it Miss C?

[Miss Creant]

Indeed it will Miss C.

[Barman]

I am in horsepickle. 

Both of you?

 

Messers Steve and Darwin, we thank you for your kind thoughts.

It is Miss C who has had a total hip replacement, not I but as she is bedridden at present I am replying on her behalf.

I have dutifully brought some grapes and equally as dutifully eaten them. 

I am now contemplating keeling the lady in the opposite bed, who is a day ahead of Miss C and  is continuously complaining about the pain  she is in.

She is a relatively intelligent woman and I would have thought that she would realise  that if someone numbs you from the bottom of your spine down to infinity and beyond, whereupon another bloke wielding knife cuts through one of the biggest muscle in yer body, proceeds  to yank the biggest bone in yer body out of its socket, then having picked  up a saw, he proceeds to hack off the top of said bone, before taking up a metal replacement of the bit he has just chopped off, only with a spike on it.

At this point he hammers the  replacement quickly and efficiently down into the bone marrow next he thrusts the bone back into yer body twisting it about until it pops back into it's socket

Finally he instructs a blue gowned operating theater oik to staple you brand new 12 inch hole shut. When the numbness wears off it is going to bleddy hurt.

It is brutal surgery you daft  owld bat, get a grip, stop sniveling and man up. 

 

[Barman]

This morning I shall mostly be in Pafos...

[Nick]

Werking    15 more pages 

[Barman]

Back! 

[Nick]

Miss I informs me that her decision to learn Spanish has been rescinded in favour of taking a part time MA in Latin as this will be more useful 


























Awaits foreign tongue jokes

[Barman]

Going to a meeting with loads of wimmins.... 

[Pirate]

Going to a meeting with loads of wimmins.... 

A choir eh LL

[Barman]

Going to a meeting with loads of wimmins.... 

A choir eh LL

Yes, the choir - meeting about technical stuff.... 

[Nick]

WImmins don't understand that stuff

[Barman]

WImmins don't understand that stuff

Which is why I have to go...

[Nick]

ANd confuse them