Stories from Nick's world of the weird, wonderful and bizarre

[Snoopy]

Pass me the revolver now  - he needs to be put out of his misery

NICK! What the f*ck have you done to yourself? 

[Nick]

I was using the Paint Pod 

[Miss Demeanour]

Flatulent pig causes gas panic

A suspected gas leak on a farm in Australia has turned out to be the fault of a particularly anally-vocal pig.

The farmer called the emergency services on getting whiff of what appeared to be escaping gas.

Two fire engines rushed to the scene of the incident in Axedale, a town in the south east of the country.

The Daily Telegraph reported fire captain Peter Harkins as saying: "When we got [to the farm], as we drove up the driveway, there was this huge sow."

"It was very obvious where the gas was coming from. We could not only smell it, but we heard it and it was quite funny."

He added: "She got very excited when two trucks and 15 [firemen] turned up and she squealed and farted and squealed and farted.

"I haven't heard too many pigs fart but I would describe it as very full-on."



 

[Just One More]

One from Grumpy's patch

 

[Grumpmeister]

He's from Camborne, say's it all really. 

[GROWLER]

He's from Camborne, say's it all really.  

Not too well up on the goings on of Camborne tbqh.  

What goes on there then ey?

[Snoopy]

He's from Camborne, say's it all really.  

Not too well up on the goings on of Camborne tbqh.  

What goes on there then ey?

The locals all have 6 toes on each foot (allegedly)

[GROWLER]

He's from Camborne, say's it all really.  

Not too well up on the goings on of Camborne tbqh.  

What goes on there then ey?

The locals all have 6 toes on each foot (allegedly)

As long as they don't have 6 hairy feet.

[Grumpmeister]

He's from Camborne, say's it all really.  

Not too well up on the goings on of Camborne tbqh.  

What goes on there then ey?

Its probably one of the few places in the country Jeremy Kyle is afraid to visit.... 

I'll trade you Nick for Camborne Growler. 

[GROWLER]

He's from Camborne, say's it all really.  

Not too well up on the goings on of Camborne tbqh.  

What goes on there then ey?

Its probably one of the few places in the country Jeremy Kyle is afraid to visit.... 

I'll trade you Nick for Camborne Growler. 

Christ, it MUST be bad, but there again Nick is awesomely dreadful too.

[Miss Demeanour]

I'm a celebrity stars may be charged with animal cruelty

Gino D'Acampo and Stuart Manning have reportedly been charged with animal cruelty.

The News of the World claims that the I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! contestants were arrested after leaving the show because of an incident in which they killed and ate a rat.

The Australian RSPCA, which has previously suggested that it would investigate the rat's death, asked ITV to hand over all their footage of the killing, including that which wasn't shown on television.

Show sources have also claimed that the rat might have been a tame animal introduced to the camp by producers.

"There were rats used for the bushtucker trials and they were as tame as hamsters," a source said. "They were used to human contact and not afraid like wild ones who would run away. The killing made for dramatic TV. But it's likely the animal was one of the trial rats."


 

Let's protect the rights of rats now eh ..... until they stroll around your house of course  ( tame or feckin not) 

[Snoopy]

Fvckin Bunny Huggers ~ look after the interests of a rat whilst the Aboriginal Population is treated with utter contempt and still has not been given back the rights that were stolen from them in the past.

[Miss Demeanour]

THESE ice cubes shaped like the Titanic and icebergs have been branded "sick" - because they urge drinkers to recreate the 1912 sea disaster which killed 1,522 people.
A cube-making kit called Gin and Titonic jokes: "Sink another round!"

Historian Brian Ticehurst said: "They are distasteful.

"How long will it be before they make ice cubes of the Twin Towers?"

US maker Fred and Friends called its cubes "functional and fun".

It said: "Somebody is always offended by something

[Pastis]

I quite like Gin & Titonic 

There's a pub down the road near the hospital offering special cocktails; one featured was a Bacardiac Arrest 

[Nick]