Disgusterous

Author Topic: Hey Ho  (Read 3490 times)

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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Hey Ho
« on: May 26, 2009, 08:05:28 PM »
My daughter in law has just given birth to her second child, a boy, my grandson, he has Downs Syndrome. I live on the South coast, Southampton or thereabouts, they live in the Highlands of Scotland, they are young, 20 and 25 what on earth am I supposed to say to them?
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Hey Ho
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2009, 09:22:11 PM »
Miss C - I am guessing this was all a bit of a shock to them and they were unaware from any scans etc  that their child was going to be born with this and they have therefore had little time to adjust to this. But I am sure they will cope  , adjust to accommodate the needs of their new son and love him as they do their other child.

I know they are relatively young but there is an awful lot of support available and you I am sure will be a part of that by whatever means - whether it is at the end of a phone when they want to rant or more practically when the occasion permits.

Skubber

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Hey Ho
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2009, 06:51:41 AM »
Sorry to hear that Miss C.
On the plus side such children are very loving (tho' one has to be careful as they are so trusting) and those of my acquaintance do not seem aware that they are in anyway "different". One little girl locally has progressed, at her mother's insistence, right through nursery, infants, junior schools and now is at High School mixing it with all the other children. Only the odd one has bullied her at all and they have been stamped on by all the other kids who, like children the world over, have a moral compass of their own in such matters. Katryn (for such is her name) is an affectionate and trusting child who works hard to "keep up" and seems unaware that she cannot and never will. Her parents know that she is probably only going to have a short life but they determinedly  make it as normal as possible for her (she has two brothers, one older and one younger) despite the hard work it involves. Katryn's mother, in particular, is merciless at dealing with teachers, social workers etc and ensures that her daughter gets the same treatment as all other children whilst at the same time she seeks out all the help she can in the way of a special needs helper at school etc.
I do recall the school tried to rule Katryn out of the School Sports day and her mother went down and caused a hell of a fuss until they relented. It brought tears to my eyes to watch Katryn laughing all the way round the running track to come in last by a country mile whilst all 200 children stood on the benches to applaud her home.
That family look upon Katryn as one of "God's chosen few" and why not?

What can you say to the parents? Try "Oh dear, well if that is what God has decided then you must make the best life you can for him, it will be hard work but remember I am here for you and the fact he is a Downs child is no reason that he should not be cherished. He is not different, he is special. His time on Earth may not be as long as you would have wished so make it the best time you can"
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Pastis

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Re: Hey Ho
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2009, 12:16:48 PM »
What can you say to the parents? Try "Oh dear, well if that is what God has decided then you must make the best life you can for him, it will be hard work but remember I am here for you and the fact he is a Downs child is no reason that he should not be cherished. He is not different, he is special. His time on Earth may not be as long as you would have wished so make it the best time you can"

Well said, that man!

Beau courage! MissC
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Hey Ho
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2009, 12:55:09 PM »
As usual Snoopy has the right of it.   happy088

Having been involved in Downs Syndrome children many years ago when I helped at a 'Respite' centre, I can endorse everything he has said. They are loving and trusting people and will bring joy to the lives of those around them.

It will be hard work though, which is why I helped to take care of the children occasionally so that the parents could get some free time. If you can get up there once in a while then all the better.

Downs Sydrome or not, you have another grandchild. My congratulations MissC.




Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hey Ho
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2009, 10:00:41 PM »
I am sorry to hear that Miss C. Such a thing can be very hard to cope with if they only found out after he was born.

It is a blessing that he is not their first child so they will only have to learn the differences, not the whole new parenting experience as well.

I am sure things will settle down and they will rally round the special baby.

They couldn't live in a better place for support and state help than Scotland.
I have family up there and the level of care and facilities for one of the children who is Autisitic puts the NHS and local government in England to shame.
I mostly despair

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Hey Ho
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2009, 03:24:34 PM »
Thanks guys and guyesses.

They seem to be coping well, he has no heart defects which is good news.
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Hey Ho
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2009, 06:07:33 PM »
Excellent! I don't really know what to say apart from to echo what everyone else here has said. They are in my thoughts.