The surreal world of local news.

[Grumpmeister]

 

A Cornish parish council is considering leasing part of a beach to the Ministry of Defence to stop nudists going there.
The MoD banned nudists on nearby sand dunes in Penhale, Perranporth, last year over fears the area was attracting people looking for sex.

Perranzabuloe Council owns the beach itself and the MoD would like a similar ban implemented.

The army, which has a base nearby, wants to ensure young cadets are not shocked or offended.

Cadets and schoolchildren are among the 6,000 people a year who use the Penhale training area.

Major Michael Pawlak, commandant of Penhale Camp, said of the ban last year: "Naturists are not the problem, it is the perverts they attract that are the problem."

However Brian Williams of the Central Council of British Naturists said the authorities should be getting rid of the voyeurs, not the nudists.

The council will meet army officials next week.

There is a far simpler solution that this, hand out paintguns to the cadets, when they see someone's pipmly backside bouncing up and down shoot it. Once the word gets round that'll stop them going up there.

[Snoopy]

A Cornish parish council is considering leasing part of a beach to the Ministry of Defence to stop nudists going there.
The MoD banned nudists on nearby sand dunes in Penhale, Perranporth, last year over fears the area was attracting people looking for sex.

Perranzabuloe Council owns the beach itself and the MoD would like a similar ban implemented.

The army, which has a base nearby, wants to ensure young cadets are not shocked or offended.

Cadets and schoolchildren are among the 6,000 people a year who use the Penhale training area.

Major Michael Pawlak, commandant of Penhale Camp, said of the ban last year: "Naturists are not the problem, it is the perverts they attract that are the problem."

However Brian Williams of the Central Council of British Naturists said the authorities should be getting rid of the voyeurs, not the nudists.

The council will meet army officials next week.

There is a far simpler solution that this, hand out paintguns to the cadets, when they see someone's pipmly backside bouncing up and down shoot it. Once the word gets round that'll stop them going up there.

 
Has nobody told these people that Queen Victoria is dead?

[Barman]

A Cornish parish council is considering leasing part of a beach to the Ministry of Defence to stop nudists going there.
The MoD banned nudists on nearby sand dunes in Penhale, Perranporth, last year over fears the area was attracting people looking for sex.

Perranzabuloe Council owns the beach itself and the MoD would like a similar ban implemented.

The army, which has a base nearby, wants to ensure young cadets are not shocked or offended.

Cadets and schoolchildren are among the 6,000 people a year who use the Penhale training area.

Major Michael Pawlak, commandant of Penhale Camp, said of the ban last year: "Naturists are not the problem, it is the perverts they attract that are the problem."

However Brian Williams of the Central Council of British Naturists said the authorities should be getting rid of the voyeurs, not the nudists.

The council will meet army officials next week.

There is a far simpler solution that this, hand out paintguns to the cadets, when they see someone's pipmly backside bouncing up and down shoot it. Once the word gets round that'll stop them going up there.

 
Has nobody told these people that Queen Victoria is dead?

Really?

[Grumpmeister]

Has nobody told these people that Queen Victoria is dead?

Queen Victoria? Has Henry had yet another wife? 

[Berek]

there was a good story in our local newspaper yesterday about the seagulls that are flying into Tescos' wind turbines and splattering the customers

[Grumpmeister]

Many years ago when I was a student I worked in a Burger King  (it was either that or sponge off people and I do have limits). The seagulls would swoop down on people as soon as they left and nick their food. Then one day one of them decided to try and fly into the outlet and came towards us at a fair clip............not realising that we have windows. There's nothing quite so surreal to look at as a concussed seagull 

[Darwins Selection]

. .either that or sponge off people . .

I would have thought working in a Turkish Bath was more honest toil than Burger King.