Bono

[Snoopy]

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the silence ...

"Well, f*ckin' stop doin it then, y'evil bastard!"

[Barman]

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the silence ...

"Well, f*ckin' stop doin it then, y'evil bastard!"

[Grumpmeister]

Who says you can't teach an old hound new(ish) jokes 

[The Moan Ranger]

Bono too, should be taken outside and gently shot in the back of the head.

[Grumpmeister]

All right, I have to ask. How in the hell do you 'gently' shoot someone. The impact of a high velocity round can be described in many ways but gentle certainly doesnt enter the list.

[Nick]

It is the intention with which it is done.

[Snoopy]

And of course you "squeeze" the trigger ~ Or as my old firing range instructor put it "Just wrap your finger round it as if it were a nipple and ever so gently tighten your finger, just as if you want the lassie to ask for more. Grab at it and you'll miss both ~ the target and the chance of getting yer leg over"











I promise you ~ Instructors from The RAF Regiment are a breed apart.

[The Moan Ranger]

As in he would avoid the pistol whipping first - the gun would be fired without too much malice. But just enough.

[Grumpmeister]

We used to get similar instruction as Army Cadets back in the day Snoop. At least until a couple of 13 year olds went back after a range day and telling their parents about their exploits repeated the instructions verbatim.  

[Snoopy]

I think that range instructors have been saying many of the same things since the days of flintlock muskets.
But then I have heard and indeed have used such time honoured comments on the parade square as
"Am I hurtin' you laddie?"
"No Corporal"
"Well I should be ~ I'm standin' on your f*ckin' 'air .... Gerrit cut"

Somethings haven't changed for centuries but nowadays I understand they have to be nice to the recruits.
    We never were.

[Darwins Selection]

All right, I have to ask. How in the hell do you 'gently' shoot someone.

You must have heard of those soft-nosed bullets?

[Grumpmeister]

You mean dum dums Darwin? Yes I've heard of them but I thought they were talking about Bonehead at the time. 

[The Moan Ranger]

Link this Bono thread to the Terrorist chasers one, as, after all, he has put a lot of money into Celtic and they are the colours worn by those responsible.

[Snoopy]

Just cut a cross in the business end of the round (bullet) .... makes it spread on impact ..... Very nasty!

[grumpyoldsoldier]

And of course you "squeeze" the trigger ~ Or as my old firing range instructor put it "Just wrap your finger round it as if it were a nipple and ever so gently tighten your finger, just as if you want the lassie to ask for more. Grab at it and you'll miss both ~ the target and the chance of getting yer leg over"











I promise you ~ Instructors from The RAF Regiment are a breed apart.

Arghh!!! Rock Ape Alert!!!!!