Delia Smith

[Nick]

We have one who comes here who is quite nice

The rest are munters

[Snoopy]

I attended Parenting class arranged by the children's secondary school when they started there last year. The two running it were not as described by Snoopy.

The intake for year 7 was 149 pupils which gave a possible attendance approaching 300. The biggest turnout was 12, three being me, my ex and her husband. He and I were the only men.

I think that those who need parenting classes are the ones least likely to attend.

A lot of the problem is the lack of a support network nowadays. Once upon a time we had things called families.
My Dad never lived more than 1 mile from his parents and five brothers and sisters (except during his Army service). All those uncles and aunties came with spouses and kids of their own so the family network was pretty large. Mum's family were the same.
Now we have all scattered to the four winds and Mrs S and I are "on our own" when it comes to such things. The general breakdown of that old fashioned society, which included the local bobby who would give you a clip round the ear, is one of the major causes of the countries yoof problem today. In a hopeless attempt to resolve the problem various governments have empowered all sorts of people with "Appropriate" qualifications to interfere, intercede and otherwise f*ck it all up. They have taken away basic discipline from school teachers, who to be honest were in the main so left wing at one point that they gladly gave up their rights to respect from the children .... as in "I'm you maths teacher this term ~ Call me Dave". They have told parents that they have no rights but they have the responsibility whilst telling the children they have the rights but no responsibilities.
My hope is that the pendulum must one day swing back the other way. I probably won't see it but if we are to survive as a breed then it must happen.

Tho' what this has to do with tinned mince or Delia Smith is beyond me ... but what do I know? .... I'm just a Beagle.

[The Moan Ranger]

Wise words, hound. I could quite easily kill my 12 year old daughter some days. Bring back corporal punishment in schools and bobbies on the beat with a free rein to clip the little buggers round the ear.

[Bar Wench]

Wise words, hound. I could quite easily kill my 12 year old daughter some days. Bring back corporal punishment in schools and bobbies on the beat with a free rein to clip the little buggers round the ear.

But it shouldn't be necessary. It is a poor teacher that finds it necessary to resort to violence in an attempt to keep order.

[Grumpmeister]

Normally I'd agree but look at some of the feral youths wandering the streets these days. Something tells me that sending them to the naughty corner wouldnt have much effect on them.

[Darwins Selection]

Wise words, hound. I could quite easily kill my 12 year old daughter some days. Bring back corporal punishment in schools and bobbies on the beat with a free rein to clip the little buggers round the ear.

But it shouldn't be necessary. It is a poor teacher that finds it necessary to resort to violence in an attempt to keep order.

Are you reading from what Mr Wench had to write 100 times?

[Bar Wench]

 

Seriously though. It shouldn't be. If parents are doing their doing job and in the main instilling a sense of respect for elders and authority then it shouldn't be necessary to beat/hit kids to get them to behave. I know I was always more scared of a letter home and punishment by my Dad than any slippering that was threatened.

[The Moan Ranger]

Those days have gone unfortunately Wenchy. Kids are almost now empowered to have no respect for anything.

Chop their goolies off - it's the only way.

[Snoopy]

Without an "Ultimate deterrent" you have no hope of keeping discipline.
Example. Science teacher at THW's High School (which must I suppose remain nameless) has never yet got past twenty of the allotted 50 minute lesson. There is so much noise, mucking about and p*ss taking that he walks out of the room and leaves them to it. Daughter and her friend often follow him out of the room and go to the school library. One day, recently, they followed him to another classroom where they found him alone, in tears. They comforted him and offered to go to the head as witnesses for him but he declined the offer as he felt it would end his career.

This is the best school in the area. She tells us that most classes are like this. The oafs who are to blame want, repeat want, to be suspended. If they are suspended they don't have to come to school and they know that the law will not come after their parents whereas if they simply bunk off then eventually the cops turn up to speak to Mum and her partner.

Sorry to disagree Wenchy and I know I am old fashioned but Secondary Education is a bleeding nightmare nowadays and without some other punishment than being sent to the "Quiet Room" or being suspended for varying periods it will not stop. It is, quite frankly, anarchy in these places.

Of the other three High Schools open to us as options in this area one is Welsh Medium which rules it out as the children are not fluent enough to survive there and would anyway be beaten up by the other pupils because they are English and both of the others have a permanent police presence of two PCSO's each throughout the school day.

[Bar Wench]

I am sort of thinking that one has to give up on the current generation of school attendees and start again with the next. I feel this lot are beyond hope. However, if parents of kids being born today actually parent then it shouldn't be necessary for school to become nothing more than ring masters.

[The Moan Ranger]

I was caned at Grammar school on two occasions. I fully deserved it both times.

Simple - if you fvck up, expect to be punished and being suspended is not a punishment to most - it's an easy way out.

[Snoopy]

Yep! But how do we do it. Parenting skills also have to operate under the same rules. Teachers at the aforementioned High School actively seek children to come forward to say their parents smack them and then call in the Social Workers. There has to come a point where taking away pocket money, TV sets, Computer priviledges, sweets etc no longer works.
The THW is 5'10" and weighs about 10 stone. She is solid. So I say "You naughty girl ~ how dare you speak to your mother like that, GO TO YOUR ROOM" and she says "NO!"
What do I do next?
I could do like Nick and pack the TV into a box so as to deprive her of it for a period as a punishment BUT that also punishes the two boys and Mrs S. (Not me ~ I wouldn't miss the bloody thing).
I could take away her mobile 'phone but she will miss the school bus the next day and not be able to call us to give her a lift leading to worry and upset about her whereabouts ... and you know she'll do that deliberately
I could take away her Computer rights but she'll use the PCs at school.
I suppose I could go into her bedroom and tear up all her clothes apart from her school uniform  but I paid for them.
I could explain about responsibility, respect for others and appeal to her better nature but she laughs in my face at that one.

No ~ the best, quickest and most effective answer is to smack her. I do not beat her, I do not take a belt to her arse (tho' I am sometimes tempted) I simply smack her insolent, sneering face. It makes me feel better and she then goes to her room because she doesn't want another smack. The following morning she is sweetness itself.

If you have a better answer please tell me 'cos like I say I've been trying to find one for forty years come April 1st and haven't found it yet.

[Grumpmeister]

I suppose I could go into her bedroom and tear up all her clothes apart from her school uniform  but I paid for them.

Pack them in a locked trunk instead. No sense in wasting money and afterwards she can have them back again.

[The Moan Ranger]

That's exactly what I do, Snoops. Also, taking her mobile phone, iPod and selected clothes off her, then burning them in the back garden while she watched worked for a bit. But it never lasts. The boundaries we set are regularly breached and one day, my normal calm self will explode into a scene in which there will be no winners.

[Bar Wench]

I honestly don't know. It's a difficult one and the more I hear about kids the more I am convinced that my parents had a bloody easy ride.

I was smacked twice, across the arse with my Dad's slipper. The memory of that and the horror of him shouting at me was more than enough to make me behave. I suppose I was just a goody goody really. The idea of disapointing my parents was truly enough to make me behave.

Also grounding, no pocket money, no phone. Pick up and drop off from school each day to ensure that I did none of the above. I think I had my bedroom door taken away at one point too.