The Liverpool Manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football and is suitably impressed and arranges
for him to come over to Anfield to sign up for Liverpool FC
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4 - 0 down to Man United with only 20 minutes left to play.
The Manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod, and on he goes. The lad is a sensation.
He scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool .
The fans are delighted. The players and the coaches are delighted, and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mother to tell her about his first day in English football.
"Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today. We were 4 - 0 down but I scored 5, and we won.
Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful" says his mother "Let me tell you about my day"
"Your father got shot in the street and robbed. Your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you were having such a great time!"
The young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry"
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"Sorry? Sorry?" says his mother, "It's all your bloody fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"
