I am surprised no one has raised this

[Darwins Selection]

Colonic Irrigation might help ~ I have a 50 meter hose at the side of the house as Nick well knows .... he only has to ask, I'll even help with the insertion 

What is a "meter" - assuming, of course, you are talking about units of length? 

And how, exactly, do you use them on Poultry?

Pump them full of water, how else do you get the weight up, feed them?

[Barman]

Ahem…

Back on topic for a moment if we may?

It seems the red-tops found the picture of them together in Panama by doing a searchj on Google! What a pair of half-wits! 

My prediction is that he goes to jail for fraud, she sells he story to The Sun for £100K, pays back the insurance and lives happily ever after in Panama with ‘Manuel’ (‘til the money runs out of course). 

[Bar Wench]

But why did he give himself up!?!?!?!? 

[Nick]

I suspect it was part of the "plan" so that he could rejoin Mrs Darwin in Panama for a new life. Idiots! It came unravelled so quickly.....

Must learn from this when I try it.

[Barman]

But why did he give himself up!?!?!?!? 

I reckon they were shacked-up together in Panama, sold the house, just claimed the insurance and he found her at it with Manuel – thought he would come back and spoil the party or some such…  

Tough on his old man tho…  

[Bar Wench]

And his sons.

[Barman]

I suppose he must have been in hiding for the past years while she played the bereaved wife role… She then says ‘oh well I need to move on’, sells the house and moves to Panama (as you do).

Perhaps when they met up in Panama she says that she was much happier while he was ‘dead’…

[Snoopy]

He's barmey .... plain and simple .... wait for the trial ~ if there is one.

[Nick]

No no no. He wanted to do the hero's return bit and then join her in Panama, otherwise why feign amnesia?

[Barman]

No no no. He wanted to do the hero's return bit and then join her in Panama, otherwise why feign amnesia?

If the ‘amnesia’ story holds he escapes prosecution for fraud… she would have to pay back the insurance and he could ask for a 50% share in the proceeds from the home.

He would then be in the clear and he would have farked-up her new life… with Manual… the pool cleaner prolly… 

[Nick]

And his pic with the estate agent and MRs D in Panama last year?

[Barman]

And his pic with the estate agent and MRs D in Panama last year?

A major blunder!

As I say… he goes into hiding for four years, she sells up and moves to Panama and he joins her (which says a lot for passport controls, etc.) to continue their happy life together. Anyway, that is where it all goes wrong…

TBH looking at the ugly munter he would have been better off starting his own life somewhere else without her.

[Nick]

Mrs Nick reckons she used some of the dosh to get her teeth fixed

[Darwins Selection]

Mrs Nick reckons she used some of the dosh to get her teeth fixed

And plastic surgery for Manuel, who is now Mr Darwin's double, as seen in the photo.

Just to beat any wiseacre to it, Mr Darwin is not relation of mine. (Even we aren't that stupid)

[Nick]

Of course not, of course not