The other day I noticed that we seem to have a lot of empty jars about the place. I was going to take them to the bottle bank but then it occurred to me. Why not make some pickled onions. After all, how hard can it be? Normally, I would consult Google for some hints and tips before embarking on such a project but this time it was full steam ahead.
A few hundred yards from our house is one of those marvelous shops that are sadly disappearing from our cities. This one is a greengrocer in the front room of an ancient 2 up, 2 down terrace (est 1882) with a big window through which you can see what seems to be tons of a fruit and veg that hide an elderly couple who's combined age must be about half a million.
I enter, I am the only customer in the shop (this is normal because only one customer at a time can fit in) and the following conversation ensues :
TG : Morning, you all right then?
Old lady: Yes thanks, set meself on fire in the living room last night though.
TG: Er...
Old lady: What can we get you?
TG: Er.. Well, I want to make a load of pickled onions. Have you got the makings?
Old lady: Just down there on your left. On the floor.
I behold what appears to be a sack of small onions buried under what seems to be a fields worth of some other
bigger onions.
TG: How much is there?
Old lady: Dunno
TG: How much is the sack?
Old lady: Dunno (confers with little old man)
Little old man: £3.50.
TG: Vinegar?
Little Old man: £2.00 for that big jug of spiced vinegar behind you.
I decide this will do and I want to leave because I am scared I might get buried under a heap of cabbages if I make a sudden move. I grab the end of the sack and pull, and pull and pull. There seems to be no end to this bloody sack. At last with one mighty bound I am clear of the shop and am on the street with a 5 litre jug of spiced vinegar and a TEN KILO bag of onions!
Needless to say Mrs TG laughed herself silly at me but to hell with that. Put the radio on to the football, crack a tin and get peeling onions.
There are many complex recipes for pickling onions (I found out after I bought them) so I decide to follow the simplest recipe I can find. which is soak overnight in brine, put in jars with vinegar the next day. Leave for a few weeks. Stuff face. fart a lot.
Here is a photograph of my efforts.
I still have 2-4 kilo's of onions left if anyone wants 'em. I'll email them to you.
I hope they are nice.
If anyone has any pickling tips I'll thank you to keep them to yourselves for now cos it's too late and I'm sick to death of bastard onions.
