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Author Topic: The Day of Judgement  (Read 6099 times)

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The Day of Judgement
« on: October 23, 2007, 07:22:23 AM »
The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.

"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.

Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".

Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.

With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"
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Offline Nick

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2013, 04:33:03 PM »
 tunble:
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Offline Steve

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2013, 05:16:19 PM »
The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.

"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.

Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".

Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.

With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"
happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2013, 05:29:18 PM »
The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.

"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.

Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".

Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.

With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"

AFFs  noooo:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Steve

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2013, 05:32:21 PM »
. . .
AFFs  noooo:
noooo:

Scoring zero on the AFFSometer here

update

BM scoring zero on the jokeometer here
« Last Edit: August 03, 2013, 05:58:06 PM by Steve »
Well, whatever, nevermind

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #5 on: August 03, 2013, 05:40:38 PM »
The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.

"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.

Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".

Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.

With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"

happy001 happy002
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Offline Steve

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2013, 05:56:52 PM »
Boogs is windicated
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2013, 06:09:21 PM »
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #8 on: August 03, 2013, 07:28:38 PM »
It was a great joke like....  cloud9:
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Offline Steve

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2013, 07:58:19 PM »
Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Baldy

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2013, 11:35:43 PM »
Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?

 lol: lol: lol:

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2013, 06:51:05 AM »
Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?

It was 2007!  cussing:
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Offline boogs

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2013, 08:31:14 AM »
Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?

It was 2007!  cussing:

You kept that from 2007  noooo: noooo:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2013, 08:36:28 AM »
No... I posted it in 2007 and Nick replied yesterday... ::)
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Offline Nick

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Re: The Day of Judgement
« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2013, 08:38:48 AM »
Just catching up, like  :thumbsup:
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