
Landlady "sent to visit elderly relatives in UK". Elderly relatives are notoriously unreliable at remembering who they saw when.
Housing renovations involving knocking down perfectly serviceable chimney and rebuilding same but bigger.
Two weeks later LandLady "fails" to return from UK. BM reports she has run away with a brewery salesman whilst on holiday ~ claims he is heartbroken, makes new supplies of homebrew and settles to watch porn channels received on new, larger sat dish and play with his fish eye lens, which Landlady had said he could have "Over my dead body"
Ze Little Grey Cells 'astings ..... zey are itching!