Another RANT: Smart meters

[Nick]

Severn Trent Water e mailed me about two weeks ago saying they needed access to fit a new water meter. I politely replied pointing out that they had done this two weeks previously 

They just called. The new meter is not registering any water flow (wrongly fitted  ) and they need to come and "resolve" this for me. Is any afternoon this week convenient. It isn't   

I managed to get a morning appointment in about three weeks  but only after I had been asked to "confirm" my address for "security purposes",

This use of the word "confirm", following on from the imbecile at Hastings Direct, tipped me over the edge.

"We need to resolve this for you, sir".
"I am happy for it to be "unresolved" for three weeks while I get free water. The only ones who what it resolved are YOU and you wouldn't need it resolved if your "engineer" had fitted it correctly in the first place!!!!" 

And don't start me on the invoice for cleaning my stair carpet!! I live in a flat you muppets!!

[Steve]

You need some serious collapso

[Nick]

Good plan 

[Steve]

So what's the story with the stair carpet?

[Darwins Selection]

So what's the story with the stair carpet?

Nick clearly said not to get him started on that one. 

[Nick]

I am surrounded by idiots!! 

[Steve]

So what's the story with the stair carpet?

Nick clearly said not to get him started on that one. 

As if we pay attention to Nick's requests

[Darwins Selection]

So what's the story with the stair carpet?

Nick clearly said not to get him started on that one. 

As if we pay attention to Nick's requests

Good point.

[Nick]

 

Only Miss I luvs me. But she is visiting soon 

Pity my Viagra stash is in the boot of the sodding car 

[Darwins Selection]

Only Miss I luvs me. But she is visiting soon 

Pity my Viagra stash is in the boot of the sodding car 

Probably why you spun it, the back suspension was too hard.

[Barman]

Only Miss I luvs me. But she is visiting soon 

Pity my Viagra stash is in the boot of the sodding car 

Probably why you spun it, the back suspension was too hard.

[Nick]

 

You are all bastards, especially Mr Darwin (sir). Were you at the State Banquet last night, perchance? Is your tie still white or a bit soupy?

[Steve]

Only Miss I luvs me. But she is visiting soon 

Pity my Viagra stash is in the boot of the sodding car 

Probably why you spun it, the back suspension was too hard.

[Steve]

You are all bastards . . .

now tell us something we didn't know

[Miss Demeanour]

Only Miss I luvs me. But she is visiting soon 

Pity my Viagra stash is in the boot of the sodding car 

That explains the car lifting off