When is a gift not a gift ???

[Miss Demeanour]

Occasionally people in work bring in stuff they have grown in their various allotments , gardens etc to share.

We have had one such notification today from an agency member of staff that is offering up some goodies that he has grown - tomatoes. But by doing so he looks like he has also effectively written his resignation letter !!!!

" Sweets in the usual place.
 
Hold on , don’t get too excited, not sweets but fruit. Tomatoes in fact are a fruit, fat free and very little sugar. These tomatoes are totally organic. Grown in organic manure passed by  my very own horses and nurtured with my very own organic hands. Please wash them first as the may have the odd bit of slug poo on, organic poo by the way. The red ones are lovely, the orange ones are even better and the little brown ones are “Chocolate”  tomatoes. These are not available in the shops. Stand on me, I promise you that the chocolate tomatoes are better than sex with you wife’s sister. I know this because I have tried both, hence the £1,350 per month maintenance. I don’t want the management to see this as some sort of bribe but it would be nice to know the result of my interview two weeks ago.
 
I should really say this from the bottom of my heart, however i have decided to say it from the heart of my bottom.
 
                                                          TOMATOES TO THE LOT OF YOU "


 

[Uncle Mort]

My neighbour gave me some tomatoes that were the best I've ever tasted. Unfortunately he is now infirm and has given up growing them 

I never turn down any gifts made by home growers.

[Steve]

Occasionally people in work bring in stuff they have grown in their various allotments , gardens etc to share.

We have had one such notification today from an agency member of staff that is offering up some goodies that he has grown - tomatoes. But by doing so he looks like he has also effectively written his resignation letter !!!!

" Sweets in the usual place.
 
Hold on , don’t get too excited, not sweets but fruit. Tomatoes in fact are a fruit, fat free and very little sugar. These tomatoes are totally organic. Grown in organic manure passed by  my very own horses and nurtured with my very own organic hands. Please wash them first as the may have the odd bit of slug poo on, organic poo by the way. The red ones are lovely, the orange ones are even better and the little brown ones are “Chocolate”  tomatoes. These are not available in the shops. Stand on me, I promise you that the chocolate tomatoes are better than sex with you wife’s sister. I know this because I have tried both, hence the £1,350 per month maintenance. I don’t want the management to see this as some sort of bribe but it would be nice to know the result of my interview two weeks ago.
 
I should really say this from the bottom of my heart, however i have decided to say it from the heart of my bottom.
 
                                                          TOMATOES TO THE LOT OF YOU "


 

did he really write that

  ¹⁰⁰

[Barman]

Occasionally people in work bring in stuff they have grown in their various allotments , gardens etc to share.

We have had one such notification today from an agency member of staff that is offering up some goodies that he has grown - tomatoes. But by doing so he looks like he has also effectively written his resignation letter !!!!

" Sweets in the usual place.
 
Hold on , don’t get too excited, not sweets but fruit. Tomatoes in fact are a fruit, fat free and very little sugar. These tomatoes are totally organic. Grown in organic manure passed by  my very own horses and nurtured with my very own organic hands. Please wash them first as the may have the odd bit of slug poo on, organic poo by the way. The red ones are lovely, the orange ones are even better and the little brown ones are “Chocolate”  tomatoes. These are not available in the shops. Stand on me, I promise you that the chocolate tomatoes are better than sex with you wife’s sister. I know this because I have tried both, hence the £1,350 per month maintenance. I don’t want the management to see this as some sort of bribe but it would be nice to know the result of my interview two weeks ago.
 
I should really say this from the bottom of my heart, however i have decided to say it from the heart of my bottom.
 
                                                          TOMATOES TO THE LOT OF YOU "


 

Mong... 

[Miss Demeanour]

Yep he really wrote that .

he was asked to recall the message and inform that a number of complaints had been received about the email .

His reply ..

"I guess some people's  skin is thinner than others "

You are not on your Twitter account now you feckin eejit !!!!!

[Nick]

Outstanding!!