QE2 Floundering

[Sour Puss]

<Snigger>

QE2 liner breaks down on cruise

The QE2 was in the middle of a cruise of the Mediterranean

The QE2 has broken down after suffering a mechanical fault off Croatia during a Mediterranean cruise.
Shipping firm Cunard said there were about 1,750 passengers on board the cruise liner.
Company spokesman Eric Flounders said the ship, which left Southampton last Friday, had been due to set sail from the Adriatic port of Dubrovnik.
An engineer has been sent to fix the fault but it is not known how long the repairs will take, he added.


Floating hotel
The QE2 is timetabled to start her 40th anniversary cruise from Southampton next Saturday.
Earlier this year, more than 300 passengers and crew on board the ship suffered from a bug which caused vomiting and diarrhea.
The liner has only just over a year left at sea before she sails to Dubai to become a floating hotel.
The 70,000-tonne vessel, launched by the Queen in 1967, is to be sold to a firm called Dubai World.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6985176.stm

[Snoopy]

  You suspect something fishy going on?

[Misunderstood]

Shipping firm Cunard ... Company spokesman Eric Flounders said the ship, which left Southampton last Friday...

How on earth did a man with a name like that, get a job with Cunard?  It MUST be his fault!

[Snoopy]

Shipping firm Cunard ... Company spokesman Eric Flounders said the ship, which left Southampton last Friday...

How on earth did a man with a name like that, get a job with Cunard?  It MUST be his fault!

Simply a red herring.

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

Shipping firm Cunard ... Company spokesman Eric Flounders said the ship, which left Southampton last Friday...

How on earth did a man with a name like that, get a job with Cunard?  It MUST be his fault!

Simply a red herring.

If it's that bad with the name Eric, he should count himself lucky he was not christened Nick!

[Pastis]

BBC NEWS: Are you on board the ship or do you know someone who is? Send us your experiences using the form below. Or send us your text messages to 61124.

Ahh, yes, Dear BBSea, Ha! See what I did there?
Anyway, we're still stuck in ruddy Dubrovny or whatever it's called. Damn nuisnace really - should be in Venice tonight mourning Pav with all the I-ties but, hey-ho, obviously not to be. The mood was getting a trifle nasty earlier but the Captain ordered a free bar as some sort of compo and Marjorie (SWMBO) is now on her seventh large G&T! and trying to organise a Hokey Cokie around the deck. I've arranged a free massage with some little Filipino filly who looks rather eager to please. Word is that the prop got fouled on a supermarket trolley in the harbour and they're flying out an engineer to sort it out; ha! some chance! Ever tried to get a plumber on a Saturday night? So, tonight's entertainment will be a repeat of last night's - if they can encourage anyone to leave the bar. Oh, and tonight's film is Titanic with that Winslett girl; poor choice in my view but there you go. All for now, toodlepip! Best regards, Fortescue Tremayne, (Major, Rtd.)

[Misunderstood]

Fortescue Tremayne, (Major, Rtd.)

Good heavens Tre,  Fancy hearing about you after all these years, and you're still causing trouble.

What have you been up to that you can afford the QE II then?  Pension isn't what it was, don't y'know.

I am also surprised that you seem to have forgotten how to sign yourself, didn't they teach you at Sandhurst to put your rank first and the rtd last in brackets

Fondly yours,

Maj. Shuttleworth. Hilary (Rtd.)

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

Fortescue Tremayne, (Major, Rtd.)

Good heavens Tre,  Fancy hearing about you after all these years, and you're still causing trouble.

What have you been up to that you can afford the QE II then?  Pension isn't what it was, don't y'know.

I am also surprised that you seem to have forgotten how to sign yourself, didn't they teach you at Sandhurst to put your rank first and the rtd last in brackets

Fondly yours,

Maj. Shuttleworth. Hilary (Rtd.)

Good God! Shutters old man, how the devil are you? I've not seen you in a devil's age don't you know.

I'll always remember that year we went tiger shooting in the old Raj - dashed good fun that was and no mistake. God, how we laughed over tiffin about the one that nearly got old Goldstone-Browne - do you remember? Mind you, he was never much good afterwards, or so the memsah'b always said.

We'll have to get together if ever you're down in this neck of the woods - Eastbourne, on the South Coast. Just ask anyone in the town for Lieutenant-Colonel Tristan C Allardyce (Rtd) OBE

[Nick]

Shipping firm Cunard ... Company spokesman Eric Flounders said the ship, which left Southampton last Friday...

How on earth did a man with a name like that, get a job with Cunard?  It MUST be his fault!

Simply a red herring.

If it's that bad with the name Eric, he should count himself lucky he was not christened Nick!

I am listening you know. I was called Nicholas because I was due at Christmas (Santa). I didn't actually emerge for a further month, much to my mother's everlasting distress. OK?

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

Shipping firm Cunard ... Company spokesman Eric Flounders said the ship, which left Southampton last Friday...

How on earth did a man with a name like that, get a job with Cunard?  It MUST be his fault!

Simply a red herring.

If it's that bad with the name Eric, he should count himself lucky he was not christened Nick!

I am listening you know. I was called Nicholas because I was due at Christmas (Santa). I didn't actually emerge for a further month, much to my mother's everlasting distress. OK?

So . . . . . you were causing grief and mayhem for those around you even before you were born! Bloody hell, it gets worse.

Have you any idea over what radius the 'Nick effect' operates? I'd rather like to be safe - maybe Scotland or Cornwall are options.

[Nick]

Since I refuse to go to Scotland you would be safe there. Probably.

I was also 12lbs at birth. (The ladies will understand what that might mean )

[Pastis]

Ship to Shore: Telex: F.A.O. Maj. Shuttleworth. Hilary (Rtd.)

Hilary, old bean!
Well I never! Sorry about the etiquette slippage - rather too many Malts in the free bar. It would appear everyone's getting decidedly squiffy and standards are dropping, besides, haven't used my regimental sign off for ages. Self and SWMBO are just about to go into dinner; it's another formal night and Marjorie's taffeta seems to be moulting - there's some lodged in my cuff link for some unaccountable reason. I'm pleased to report the ship seems to be moving - either that or the cabin's bathroom mirror has a will of it's own.
Will be in touch once we hit land. Toodlepip!
Tre.

PS. Is this Allardyce fellah related to Hermione? If so, we might be related.

[Misunderstood]

Maj. T. Fortescue (Rtd)
c/o  Queen Elizabeth II
Adriatic Sea somewhere

 

(personal communique) OHMS

Tre, Good Grief,

I never expected the Bombay Officers Club to surface in a place like this! >sniff<  We really must get together if when you make it home.

Hermione >sigh< Aaah! the memories ....  I hope she is tickety-boo still?   Alas no, she denies any knowledge of this Lt. Col chappie  -  Thinking about it, wasn't he the strapper that represented us at the Court Martial business back in Calcutta?  (I really didn't actually do things like that), and we all got a bit pally afters.   Memory isn't what it was y'know.   

Browne!  That was the chap, I'd quite forgotten about him - had a vibrator thingy imported for the Memsahib if I remember?   That was when the damn coolies pinched the design and sold millions of the blighters.   Wish I'd thought of it.  Never mind ... Least said ...    See you later when you get home,  I will invite that Col chap whose name I can't quite remember.  Odd fellow! I'm not used to Colonels addressing me - makes me feel nervous if truth be told, even worse with the gong.

Chin chin

Hilary

[Snoopy]

[Nick]

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