The incredible disappearing report and the paradox of working for the Gubberment

[Nick]

I have been working on a project for the Gubbernment.

The task was to write a summary report based on research done by someone else.

He sent me his research. It ran to EIGHT HUNDRED PAGES 

I heroically read it all and then summarised it in 22 pages 

I sent it to my man in Westminster who reported to me last week that he was "chopping it"

I have just printed it off. It has reduced to 6 pages. He wants me to do some more work on it. I guess this means it will soon cease to exist 

The shorter it gets the more I get paid!!

[Steve]

I have been working on a project for the Gubbernment.

The task was to write a summary report based on research done by someone else.

He sent me his research. It ran to EIGHT HUNDRED PAGES 

I heroically read it all and then summarised it in 22 pages 

I sent it to my man in Westminster who reported to me last week that he was "chopping it"

I have just printed it off. It has reduced to 6 pages. He wants me to do some more work on it. I guess this means it will soon cease to exist 

The shorter it gets the more I get paid!!

Just send them one line then.  How about

'Be tough on Gingers and be tough on the causes of Gingers'

[Nick]

 

[Steve]

Or 'it is in our national interest to ruthlessly take the piss out of our ex-pats'

[Miss Demeanour]

You couldn't finD the weapons of mass destruction  either then 

[Nick]

Following a looooooooooooooooooooong conversation I predict we can settle on 12-14 pages by Wednesday 

But he is paying me double time for the whole project 

[Steve]

Following a looooooooooooooooooooong conversation I predict we can settle on 12-14 pages by Wednesday 

But he is paying me double time for the whole project 

[Nick]

Taxpayers' munny *






































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[Darwins Selection]

Following a looooooooooooooooooooong conversation I predict we can settle on 12-14 pages by Wednesday 

But he is paying me double time for the whole project 

So he requires fewer than 15 pages to give you a treat? 

[Nick]

I rely on Miss I for treats 

[Barman]

Following a looooooooooooooooooooong conversation I predict we can settle on 12-14 pages by Wednesday 

But he is paying me double time for the whole project 

So he requires fewer than 15 pages to give you a treat? 

 

[Nick]

It's getting longer again, largely with explanations of its brevity 

[Darwins Selection]

It's getting longer again, largely with explanations of its brevity 

[Nick]

Zackly. I am now being asked to suppress some of the evidence 

[Nick]

Second draft sent off to London 

I confidently predict more changes to be made on Friday