Author Topic: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure  (Read 2364 times)

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Offline Uncle Mort

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Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« on: November 25, 2015, 05:40:45 PM »
Part One:

It started last Thursday morning. Whilst brushing my teeth I noticed an odd fluttering in my chest. Checked my pulse and it seemed a bit fast. I have a pulse oxmeter so stuck that on my finger ~ pulse rate 198 beats per minute.  eeek:     

Dialled 999, paramedic arrives, take ECG, looks perplexed and calls for ambulance. I知 carted off to the local A&E.  eeek: eeek:

At A&E doctor looks at ECG, looks perplexed. Fortunately I had the presence of mind to grab some health info from my records including contact details for the specialist clinical team I知 under at Barts hospital. A&E doc and the Barts doc confer and between them agree to slow my heart using Adenosine. Doc has a couple of medical students trailing around with him so he gets one to insert a cannula. He actually made a good job of it, just a bit messy (didn't get the plug in quickly enough)

Anyway, the drugs work (makes you feel very weird for a few moments, though I didn稚 get the sense of impending doom that is often associated with its use.) Basically it switched me off and on again.  eeek:

Normally, after a bit of a rest, you can go home after this. Unfortunately because of the unusual architecture of my heart Barts request that I be kept in hospital and monitored for 24 hours.  confused:

TBC...

Offline Nick

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2015, 05:42:48 PM »
Mort lives  cloud9: (Paradoxically)
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Offline Barman

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2015, 05:47:07 PM »
Part One:

It started last Thursday morning. Whilst brushing my teeth I noticed an odd fluttering in my chest. Checked my pulse and it seemed a bit fast. I have a pulse oxmeter so stuck that on my finger ~ pulse rate 198 beats per minute.  eeek:     

Dialled 999, paramedic arrives, take ECG, looks perplexed and calls for ambulance. I知 carted off to the local A&E.  eeek: eeek:

At A&E doctor looks at ECG, looks perplexed. Fortunately I had the presence of mind to grab some health info from my records including contact details for the specialist clinical team I知 under at Barts hospital. A&E doc and the Barts doc confer and between them agree to slow my heart using Adenosine. Doc has a couple of medical students trailing around with him so he gets one to insert a cannula. He actually made a good job of it, just a bit messy (didn't get the plug in quickly enough)

Anyway, the drugs work (makes you feel very weird for a few moments, though I didn稚 get the sense of impending doom that is often associated with its use.) Basically it switched me off and on again.  eeek:

Normally, after a bit of a rest, you can go home after this. Unfortunately because of the unusual architecture of my heart Barts request that I be kept in hospital and monitored for 24 hours.  confused:

TBC...

Bloody hell!  eeek:
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2015, 05:48:30 PM »
It gets better  whistle:

Offline Barman

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2015, 05:59:28 PM »
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Offline Nick

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2015, 06:00:40 PM »
 :sex023: :sex023: :sex023:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2015, 07:28:18 PM »
Half of mild on my slate... Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2015, 08:31:01 PM »
 eeek: Take care old chap. Sounds like you are in the best hands. :thumbsup:

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Online Steve

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2015, 09:42:30 PM »
eeek: Take care old chap. Sounds like you are in the best hands. :thumbsup:

Top tip: Keep a set of jump leads in your pocket.
what he said  :thumbsup: (well not really the jump leads bit but you never know)
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2015, 10:19:30 AM »
Part Two:

So, here I am in the hospital assessment ward wearing my NHS jim-jams and tethered by a 10 foot cable to a heart monitor. Oddly enough I feel fine. Apart from having bloods taken I知 left to my own devices.

I知 in a standard NHS 4-bed bay with three other men. Opposite is 21 stone chap with COPD and diabetes who looks like he will expire at any second. He痴 wearing a too short t-shirt and low slung jogging bottoms so all I see is a vast expanse of belly pocked with white marks caused by what I assume is his diabetic pen. Next to him is a Len Goodman lookalike, only smaller and skinnier. He is a cheery eastender so naturally I avoid talking to him. The third chap is pleasant and quickly spoken. Turns out he痴 a church minister and he gets plenty of earnest Christian visitors. Both him and Len are heart attack suffers of some sort are also tethered to monitors. We all feel like dogs on a leash.

Sadly, none of the nurses can be described as sexy.

Next day (Friday) doc tells me that my troponin level has come back positive indicative of a heart attack.  eeek: This leads to further discussions with the Barts specialists. I potter around all day, as far as my cable lets me that is.

Early evening the doc returns.
Me: 的s it good news? 
Doc: 電efine good news
Me: 的 get dressed and walk out of here
Doc:  noooo:
 澱ecause of your raised troponin level Barts want you over there ASAP so we are arranging transport.
Me:  eeek: eeek: eeek:

Online Steve

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2015, 10:22:18 AM »
 eeek: eeek: eeek: 

Hope Bart's give you betterer news.
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Nick

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2015, 10:23:31 AM »
 eeek: happy100
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Offline Barman

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2015, 12:53:43 PM »
Fingers crossed Uncle....
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2015, 02:17:53 PM »
Get well soon..

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Uncle Mort's latest NHS adventure
« Reply #14 on: November 26, 2015, 08:47:17 PM »
 eeek: eeek: eeek:

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wot they all said
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