Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 355476 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #975 on: September 27, 2011, 07:15:28 AM »
Somebody should start an e-petition to raise Twitter's character limit to 150, I think 140 isn't enough to get your point across, if you agree pl

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #976 on: September 27, 2011, 05:38:31 PM »
A lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a lorry came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a copper in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the lorry hit you!"

"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer.

"My Rolex !!"
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #977 on: September 27, 2011, 06:29:47 PM »
A lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a lorry came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a copper in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the lorry hit you!"

"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer.

"My Rolex !!"

Surely it would be his right arm, assuming it was in this country?  rubschin:

Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #978 on: September 27, 2011, 06:46:53 PM »
Not for us lefties  angel1
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #979 on: September 27, 2011, 07:47:03 PM »
Not for us lefties  angel1
I am right handed and have always worn my watch on my left wrist.

There are many cows would thank me for that.

Nick, you are a sad and lonely man, start a poll.

It should use up a few more minutes of your otherwise pointless, left-handed existence.

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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #980 on: September 27, 2011, 07:59:32 PM »
 sad32:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #981 on: September 28, 2011, 05:33:22 AM »
Not for us lefties  angel1
I am right handed and have always worn my watch on my left wrist.

There are many cows would thank me for that.

Nick, you are a sad and lonely man, start a poll.

It should use up a few more minutes of your otherwise pointless, left-handed existence.

happy001
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #982 on: September 28, 2011, 06:53:42 AM »
Not for us lefties  angel1
I am right handed and have always worn my watch on my left wrist.

There are many cows would thank me for that.

Nick, you are a sad and lonely man, start a poll.

It should use up a few more minutes of your otherwise pointless, left-handed existence.

 evil: There are an awful lot of us on this site...

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #983 on: September 28, 2011, 06:56:28 AM »
I got into an argument with my girlfriend. She said, "You treat this house like a hotel."

I said, "I have NEVER snorted cocaine off a hooker's tits in this house."

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #984 on: September 28, 2011, 07:02:44 AM »
I got into an argument with my girlfriend. She said, "You treat this house like a hotel."

I said, "I have NEVER snorted cocaine off a hooker's tits in this house."

 lol: lol: lol:

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #985 on: September 28, 2011, 07:03:04 AM »
I've just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA.

Should look cool on my black jeep.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #986 on: September 28, 2011, 07:04:05 AM »
I've just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA.

Should look cool on my black jeep.

doh:
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #987 on: September 28, 2011, 07:23:11 AM »
Apologies if this is an Affsism

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #988 on: September 28, 2011, 07:50:42 AM »
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #989 on: September 28, 2011, 01:20:45 PM »
After Man U's bad performance last night - seen in a newspaper - "Fergie's Basle faulties".

:-)