The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on July 06, 2007, 11:52:11 AM

Title: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2007, 11:52:11 AM
Dear Boozy Ones

Following my visit to Barman this morning I can confirm that he remains stable (nay hay nay?) - the steroids appear to be fighting the chest constriction (maybe re-releasing the 'bra straps' thread helped  eeek: - is someone out there trying to point me towards something I should know about   scared2: ) but he is far from being fit enough to come back to our home on the little prairie just yet  cry: 

I cheered him up by taking in a print out of your posts on the previous Barman is Unwell thread and he says 'awh shucks didn't know they cared' ... then he said offer them all another drink on the house but I think by then he was mildly delirious on the drug cocktail!

Just to set your minds at rest (well Darwin's anyway) as far as I could tell this morning the lower appendages of the Barman remain intact so I dont believe this hospitalisation will result in gender change, unless someone has experience of adverse side effects in that area due to IV steroids. I thought they built muscle, made you run fast and jump high  confused:

Anyway must go now, business to run etc etc
Cheers to all
Mrs. Barman

Question:  Barman says Mrs. Barman is a 'BIG GIRL' in what way?  I can feel a domestic rumbling here.....come on dish the dirt on what your venerated leader (oh ha ha ha) has been saying  cussing: 

Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2007, 11:54:08 AM
 scared2:

The Landlady seems to be getting the measure of this place

 scared2:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Bar Wench on July 06, 2007, 12:09:47 PM
I missed the "big girl" reference!  eeek:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2007, 12:10:40 PM
Don't bother your little head over that. Anyhow, these things are comparative eeek:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 06, 2007, 12:28:26 PM
Question:  Barman says Mrs. Barman is a 'BIG GIRL' in what way?  I can feel a domestic rumbling here.....come on dish the dirt on what your venerated leader (oh ha ha ha) has been saying  cussing: 

He meant that you have a larger than life character and your personality lights up the room.  whistle:



You owe me some Karma for bailling you out there Barman  eyes:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Bar Wench on July 06, 2007, 12:35:11 PM
Question:  Barman says Mrs. Barman is a 'BIG GIRL' in what way?  I can feel a domestic rumbling here.....come on dish the dirt on what your venerated leader (oh ha ha ha) has been saying  cussing: 

He meant that you have a larger than life character and your personality lights up the room.  whistle:



You owe me some Karma for bailling you out there Barman
[/size]  eyes:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2007, 12:42:00 PM
SO MRs Barman has big knockers then. And a blonde. eyes:

Pics required (when he is well enough)
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 06, 2007, 01:13:38 PM
SO MRs Barman has big knockers then. And a blonde. eyes:

Pics required (when he is well enough)

Of course that is not what I meant! evil:

"Big" as in grown-up, level headed and broadminded. ::)

Shame on you all for thinking it referred to mammary endowment. noooo:

However, if the cup fits, a few pictures would help . . . .
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 06, 2007, 01:18:59 PM
Question:  Barman says Mrs. Barman is a 'BIG GIRL' in what way?  I can feel a domestic rumbling here.....come on dish the dirt on what your venerated leader (oh ha ha ha) has been saying  cussing: 

He meant that you have a larger than life character and your personality lights up the room.  whistle:



You owe me some Karma for bailling you out there Barman
[/size]  eyes:

Thats right Wench, hit him when he's down  whip:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2007, 01:29:31 PM
SO MRs Barman has big knockers then. And a blonde. eyes:

Pics required (when he is well enough)

Of course that is not what I meant! evil:

"Big" as in grown-up, level headed and broadminded. ::)

Shame on you all for thinking it referred to mammary endowment. noooo:

However, if the cup fits, a few pictures would help . . . .

Quite right. Some people in this bar should wash their mouths out with Carbolic.


Tut
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 06, 2007, 02:51:15 PM
I am currently washing my mouth out with Young's finest, whilst smoking in the garden of my local in the glorious Surrey sunshine. Never thought the smoking ban would lead to me getting a sun-tan!

(Insert smiley of sun tanned type bod, as I can't do it on the Blackberry...)
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2007, 02:53:07 PM
Bastardo!
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: tel on July 06, 2007, 03:09:07 PM
I am currently washing my mouth out with Young's finest, whilst smoking in the garden of my local in the glorious Surrey sunshine. Never thought the smoking ban would lead to me getting a sun-tan!

(Insert smiley of sun tanned type bod, as I can't do it on the Blackberry...)

I will shortly be making my way towards a pint of Youngs, hope the sun keeps shining. eyes:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 06, 2007, 03:38:23 PM
Good move Tel.

The only problem is the beer warms up very quickly, so you have to drink faster.

Life is SUCH a struggle

(Insert smiley of smug git)
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2007, 04:13:55 PM
Knockers - what a quaint old English phrase   happy001

Seems to infer that those of us in the human species lucky enough to be 'blessed' with such fondly referred to appendages can double up their usefulness in this world as vestibule entry points for when 'Avon' come calling ........... angel1

As for pictures of the aforementioned knockers ever being made available to you refined imbibers DREAM ON  sex023

Dont worry absolutely no offence taken (honest) but if any of you would like to make amends please post your monetary donations to the Knockers Fund c/o Mrs. Landlady (oh yes I am for the moment - te he!) Cyprus - I will off course then invest payment receipts in copious purchase of 'Brasso' to ensure said items remain in peak shine condition  noooo:

Enjoy your warm beer and sunshine - off to open a nice bottle of red vino and down a few medicinal glasses myself  ;D

Actually this posting lark is quite fun - now I know why Barman spends so much time down in his subterranean lair - and here was I thinking it was just his ruse to get out of household chores  lol: I'll miss you motely lot when Barman returns and I'm not allowed to play any more  sad24:

  

 
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 06, 2007, 04:20:06 PM
Pay attention Mrs Barman: drink the beer quickly and it doesn't get warm.

Enjoy the vino :-)
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: GROWLER on July 06, 2007, 04:22:11 PM
Give the owld bugger a BIG bear hug from me will you, and tell him all about my de-fraggin' I've been doing. He'll be surely most impressed and it'll cheer him up immensely no doubt. cloud9:

Come to think of it, I'd better pop over and give you the BIG bear 'ug instead, before it goes cold...like. angel1
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Pastis on July 06, 2007, 04:54:08 PM
I'm raisng a glass to his speedy return even as I speak, tripe, type  redface:

By the way, what's the Cypriot equivalent of Pastis? ... Isn't it Ouzo or something? Turns white when you add water...

Come to think of it, I know someone like that...  ;)
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 06, 2007, 06:28:48 PM
Isn't it Ouzo or something? Turns white when you add water...
Michael Jackson?
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: GROWLER on July 06, 2007, 06:33:34 PM
Isn't it Ouzo or something? Turns white when you add water...
Michael Jackson?

Now THAT did make me laugh you daft turkey twiddlin' twat. lol:

'Av an applaud on me. ;)
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2007, 07:09:54 PM
Dear Darwin - I think I've also managed to 'appalud' you too for the witty reposte to Pastis but if I havent consider it an appauld owed when 'himself' is back in the chair.

Dear All - Latest update, following doctors visit this p.m. - himself (venerated leader/exulated one blah blah blah) should (hold your breath all of you now) could be fit to leave the infirmary sometime Monday 9th July (phew whee - let that inhalation out everyone and relax....) Hacking, spluttering and general chest infection malaise now responding to the drug cocktail   ;D

Visiting again morning tomorrow so will post further update after that.

Cheers and bye for now
Mrs. Barman  razz:

PS) Growler thanks for the hug offer but could you please shave your back BEFORE nipping over to CY to implement your offer  eyes:

PPS) Pastis - not sure on your query, think its Ouzo but it also could be Domestos - that is clear and then turns white when I add water to clear any  sink drain blockage ::)  Local firewater this side of the oceans is Zivana - clear, drunk neat, smells like actetone, no affect whatsoever UNTIL you try and stand again and then find it has rubberised your legs... Want a bottle sent over to test?

   
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Misunderstood on July 06, 2007, 07:21:37 PM
Dear Darwin - I think I've also managed to 'appalud' you too for the witty reposte to Pastis but if I havent consider it an appauld owed when 'himself' is back in the chair.

Dear All - Latest update, following doctors visit this p.m. - himself (venerated leader/exulated one blah blah blah) should (hold your breath all of you now) could be fit to leave the infirmary sometime Monday 9th July (phew whee - let that inhalation out everyone and relax....) Hacking, spluttering and general chest infection malaise now responding to the drug cocktail   ;D

Visiting again morning tomorrow so will post further update after that.

Cheers and bye for now
Mrs. Barman  razz:


Ho Hum  I suppose it'll all be back to normal soon....  tunble:

Maybe we could do with a lively landlady around here!     
I guess that also means you won't be sending over the (remaining) homebrew?
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2007, 08:19:17 PM
Dear Bouncer - I could do (as requested send the remaining Home Brew over) but did he tell you how many of the bottles EXPLODED bom in the garage 'whilst' the fermentation process was completing.

At least 1/4 of the original brewed stock in amazing  shocked: episodes - one particular incident (contained explosion) blew the lid off the cool box they were being stored in, whilst it had a crate of 12 bottles of Carlsberg on top of it and during the explosion threw the crate so far across the garage it landed on his tool box  eeek: and broke that too!  Honest injun!!!!

You want to put something that combustible inside your body - remember there are only normally two routes of outage - unless you also want to count your ears (which could explode) your ears (which could explode) and your nose (which could explode)......

Wow what a marketing dream, perhaps I need to re-think my position, okay memebers vote now - How about the bar being the first to stock?

 drumroll:    AreYouBraveEnoughBrew - Probably the most dangerous beer in the world   drumroll:   barman: No wonder this barman is hiding!


   
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 06, 2007, 10:54:17 PM
Something tells me that when mine host returns, his good lady may not be readily torn away from joining in with our fun. whistle:

Will you be getting a new, larger spittoon to celebrate his homecoming? sick2:
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Misunderstood on July 06, 2007, 11:31:49 PM
Dear Bouncer - I could do (as requested send the remaining Home Brew over) but did he tell you how many of the bottles EXPLODED bom in the garage 'whilst' the fermentation process was completing.

You want to put something that combustible inside your body - remember there are only normally two routes of outage - unless you also want to count your ears (which could explode) your ears (which could explode) and your nose (which could explode)......

Wow what a marketing dream, perhaps I need to re-think my position, okay memebers vote now - How about the bar being the first to stock?

 drumroll:    AreYouBraveEnoughBrew - Probably the most dangerous beer in the world   drumroll:   barman: No wonder this barman is hiding!
   

 eeek:    Who said anything about drinking it?

I have heard all about the catalogue of explosions and devastation caused, but try and understand that we terrorists here in the UK are now reduced to Popcorn and fizzy drinks with which to blow important people up.   whistle:

We really need some proper explosives!

OK! You could market it as "Bye, Bye Prime Minister Brew" if you want, but I reserve the right to say to him "Hey - It's my round I think" and him being Scottish could simply not resist!   8)

Think of the reputation!   You'll have orders coming in from all over the world.   You could blow up Muslims and they couldn't use it back........  Ohhh!   Think of the fun to be had in Australia, and Israel - you get the picture?

Just ship it as personal beverage and Nick and I will do the rest (with a little help from The Boy) when The Prime Minister drops into his kitchen for a quick one.

On the off chance that I haven't been arrested by MI5 or Special Branch, I'll see y'all tomorrow.     noooo:



 
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: Mr Happy on July 07, 2007, 02:10:42 PM
Good move Tel.

The only problem is the beer warms up very quickly, so you have to drink faster.

Life is SUCH a struggle

(Insert smiley of smug git)


So another fine government idea ruined. 

Skin cancer and increased alcohol consumption  whacky069 well done tony happ096
Title: Re: Barman Health Status Update
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 07, 2007, 04:02:23 PM
And we will also be in CCTV land so "they" will know we are all militant smokers and drinkers.

Shame on us...