The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on July 04, 2007, 11:56:28 AM
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My world has increasingly gained Nickesque properties?
I ordered binoculars on-line the other day to keep a closer eye on the vultures. Unfortunately they got half-way here (by shitescum FedEx) who decided then to turn the shipment round and send it back to the ?States again. now I can see I?m into a long battle tio track them down and get them shipped all over again?
Finally went to see the doctor yesterday and after an examination and X-Ray he has prescribed two antibiotics and two cough medicines. One of the side effects of one of the antibiotics is dizziness ? I?ll say? One of the others makes me fart like a lost ship in the fog and the combination of all four makes me incredibly sleepy?
We asked the vet about it the other day as we were taking the dog who has managed to rupture his ear drum, got infected and sprays everywhere with puss when he shakes his head. The vet can?t say ?cough? ? he says ?cock?. I was telling him how poorly I felt and he asked ?is it a dry, productive cock?? I didn?t really think it was any of his business?
Unfortunately, I?m busy at work so Mrs. Barman has to chauffeur me and my tools around to customer?s sites ?cos I can?t drive.
Last night couldn?t sleep through coughing (or cocking I suppose) and Mrs. Barman heard strange sounds outside. Turns out (not for the first time ? they drink out of the pools) that a goat had fallen in a neighbour?s swimming pool ? splash, splash, splash, baaaahhh, etc.
I pulled-on some clothes and went running up the road towards the sound (pitch dark at this point) with a torch. The poor thing was just going under for probably the last time but I could see it was one of the biggest goats ever with huge curly horns! The only thing I could do was grab the horns and try to haul the poor thing out ? unfortunately soaked with water I could only get him half way and had to wait for Mrs. Barman to help.
We braced ourselves not knowing what a half-drowned, angry/frightened goat was likely to do when released from its watery prison and gave it one huge haul out onto the side. The bloody thing jumped up (Mrs. Barman ran off into the dark), slipped, nearly fell back in the pool and then disappeared over the wall into the next gaqrden.
I can?t bloody wait to see what tomorrow brings? noooo:
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Be grateful for small mercies Barman - there were no toads or badgers. Now that, really would have been scary!
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Be grateful for small mercies Barman - there were no toads or badgers. Now that, really would have been scary!
Don't tempt fate Marley! cussing:
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Why not? It's you who's suffering the problems, not I (said the swan from another thread)!
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Why not? It's you who's suffering the problems, not I (said the swan from another thread)!
For the moment it is... point:
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. . . eye on the vultures. Unfortunately they got half-way here . .
I am not surprised.
The Yanks are very particular about where they send their vultures. ::)
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Doh! doh:
I was just stupid enough to ?phone them up about the binoculars ? strangely, the warehouse is closed today. redface:
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Doh! doh:
I was just stupid enough to ?phone them up about the binoculars ? strangely, the warehouse is closed today. redface:
Banghead point:
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You had one day of it. My life is always like that. cry:
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Busy week this week, kitchen problems with leak through from bathroom. We first thought this was a result of the storm last week but no! Plumber in this afternoon to reseal bath/shower then next week, hopefully, building men in to replace ceiling in kitchen (Not my first choice but the insurance company are using them and paying so what do I care???)
Aerial man due at lunchtime today, finishing off work started yesterday but rained off. He is replacing old analogue aerial and also moving the Sky dish to the other side of the house.
This has thrown the children into absolute parent hatred mode "How could you let him leave us with no TV!?"
Also in the middle of a complete revamp of study in an attempt to give me more space (ie clearing out a lot of rubbish) and also reducing to one "work station" rather than two because no-one but me is ever working in there. Putting up new and hopefully more secure shelving to take my books and files so that I no longer sit there expecting them to land on my head at any minute.
ALL this means that half the kitchen is in the dining room making that almost unusable for eating in.
The contents of study are in the sitting room, piled high, with an Aerial Engineer trying to negotiate his way through to the TV set etc.
The shower/bath is out of bounds until it has been resealed. That has slightly mollified the children!!
Tomorrow afternoon have to go toHospital to have implanted defib downloaded and then to Main Dealers to have car serviced. It has done 1800 miles in a year but Motability contract says it must have annual service. When I explained to the Garage Reception youth who called to arrange the service that it had done very few miles he said "So why have it then?" so I was forced to bollock him ~ cheeky little twat!
Meanwhile having major ruck with the County Council over the siting of a replacement oil tank. They keep quoting the "New Regulations" and I keep telling them that the "new regulations" do not apply in Wales and have proved this via the Environment Agency for Wales. I have also pointed out that the property is the size it is and thus the f*cking tank cannot be placed any further from the house. Now they want to build a "blast wall" round it because of their interpretation of the non- existent "New Regulations" which, incidentally, they are unable to show me a copy of! FFS! this has gone on for two years now and I am getting pissed off with it. They have been given to the end of July to commence work or I pull in my MP, The Ombudsman and anyone else I can find including the press.
Apart from that
Yesterday I felt like sh*t and spent most of it in bed, not much better today so I know what you feel like BM.
I sometimes wonder why I go on.
Nick is not alone.
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We have the builders in this morning!
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We have the builders in this morning!
Now does that mean that Chez Nick by the Sea is inundated with hairy, bum crack displaying, horny handed brick layers etc or that Mrs Nick is in a bad mood?
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Mrs Nick is in a bad mood?
I think that would be just the painters eeek:
I don't have Nickesque Adventures, my work days are more like this cry: :
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We have the builders in this morning!
Now does that mean that Chez Nick by the Sea is inundated with hairy, bum crack displaying, horny handed brick layers etc or that Mrs Nick is in a bad mood?
Poor chap came in to quote us for one job which will take one room out of action for about a week. She then showed him about 6 other jobs in 4 different rooms which would, if undertaken at the same time, render the entire house uninhabitable for a month. I ventured to suggest a staged approach (to which he agreed) and managed to head her off. Phew!
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Builders in, Painters in, French Cousins visiting ...... I've heard 'em all. ::)
But Nick has nipped in to put us straight so now we know not to drop in for tea for the next six months at least.
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An update:
The plumber due at 1600 came at 11.30, finished the job in 30 mins, had a cuppa, relieved me of a tenner and went. The Aerial Man due at 11.30 has yet to show, the children will be home in under an hour and it is now raining again so he won't be using his electric tools now.
My problem is .... how do I tell the children they can use the shower/bath but not the TV? scared2:
They may turn very nasty.
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Life is tough. Remind them about African children carrying water for miles etc etc. (also post dinner leftovers to Africa for starving children etc. etc.)
Heavens. We never had a telly till I was 8 (or a car).
Christ I feel old!
Four Feather Falls anyone?
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Life is tough. Remind them about African children carrying water for miles etc etc. (also post dinner leftovers to Africa for starving children etc. etc.)
Heavens. We never had a telly till I was 8 (or a car).
Christ I feel old!
Four Feather Falls anyone?
Don't forget:
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And before Berek asks NO! I didn't.
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I recall this vaguely, but Andy Pandy was my favourite. redface:
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Softy!
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Muffin the Mule
Here comes Muffin, Muffin the Mule.
Dear old Muffin, playing the fool.
Here comes Muffin, everybody sing.
Here comes Muffin the Mule.
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I assume you sing that to the BF as you get to the front door scared2:
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I assume you sing that to the BF as you get to the front door scared2:
Oh the trouble you'll be in. I know where you live, your phone number, it can't be that difficult to find Mrs Nick's number from that surely? eveilgrin:
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the only decent thing iv'e seen with a donkey in was..........
whistle: whistle: ;)
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Life is tough. Remind them about African children carrying water for miles etc etc. (also post dinner leftovers to Africa for starving children etc. etc.)
Heavens. We never had a telly till I was 8 (or a car).
Christ I feel old!
Four Feather Falls anyone?
Never had a telly till you were 8... only 8? Bah! You had it easy, I never even saw a TV until I was 17...(unless you count seeing them in films at the cinema?) We did however have a car, a very, very old Citro?n with running boards and indicator arms, which shot out of the side door pillar.
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Builders in, Painters in, French Cousins visiting ...... I've heard 'em all. ::)
But Nick has nipped in to put us straight so now we know not to drop in for tea for the next six months at least.
Hang on, who's your insurance with. I asked mine about a Category Nick upgrade and they threatened to cancel my policy if I went within 10 miles of him. eeek:
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I assume you sing that to the BF as you get to the front door scared2:
Oh the trouble you'll be in. I know where you live, your phone number, it can't be that difficult to find Mrs Nick's number from that surely? eveilgrin:
She has a different surname and a different number. Not entirely daft, mind you anyone with half a brain on the internet scared2:
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I assume you sing that to the BF as you get to the front door scared2:
Oh the trouble you'll be in. I know where you live, your phone number, it can't be that difficult to find Mrs Nick's number from that surely? eveilgrin:
She has a different surname and a different number. Not entirely daft, mind you anyone with half a brain on the internet scared2:
eveilgrin:
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Life is tough. Remind them about African children carrying water for miles etc etc. (also post dinner leftovers to Africa for starving children etc. etc.)
Heavens. We never had a telly till I was 8 (or a car).
Christ I feel old!
Four Feather Falls anyone?
Never had a telly till you were 8... only 8? Bah! You had it easy, I never even saw a TV until I was 17...(unless you count seeing them in films at the cinema?) We did however have a car, a very, very old Citro?n with running boards and indicator arms, which shot out of the side door pillar.
Father loved gadgets and we had a TV very early on, I remember an aerial like a giant X on a huge pole in the garden and about 50 people crowded into a darkened room to watch the Coronation on a tiny black and white screen. cloud9:
Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be. cry:
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Father loved gadgets and we had a TV very early on, I remember an aerial like a giant X on a huge pole in the garden and about 50 people crowded into a darkened room to watch the Coronation on a tiny black and white screen. cloud9:
Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be. cry:
Hmmmm. Reminds me of the time I was volunteered to go put a X aerial up on the chimney whilst everyone was milling around below fretting about whether I'd manage it before Emergency Ward 10 started.
All of a sudden, there was a series of very sharp pains in the middle of my back. Losing my perspective for a moment I released my grip on the chimney and slid down the roof and into the rose garden - accompanied by my cat.
As I was being revived, I was told she had climbed the ladder and was heading up to me when she lost grip on the tiles and to save sliding down leapt desperately for my back, I chided them gently about them not mentioning the matter to me and then my mother came out and wolloped me for ruining her roses. confused: and said "Get back up there and finish the job."
Then they all went in to watch the telly leaving me sat in the garden - with my cat - comparing holes.
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comparing holes.
eeek: eeek: eeek:
I thought that was only dogs?