The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 07:51:17 AM

Title: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 07:51:17 AM

Honestly sometimes the amount of harm I imagine I could inflict on some people scares me  evil:

I am having to deal with some delusional cretin at work - he has asked for some assistance from  my service. We have been round and done the necessaries but this has not been as much as he would like. But then he has also obstructed many parties from carrying out their part in the process .

Last week we had the 'Do you know who I am ' conversation  evil: . Apparently he is going to be the next best thing in Hollywood and was even offered the role of James Bond before Daniel Craig but his work committments at the time prevented him from taking it up  Liar:

Anyway last week he rang one of the members of my team and completely lost his rag ....swearing and being totally abusive to her  evil:

So he received my letter of withdrawal of service unless an undertaking to be civil in all future proceedings etc etc etc.

Today I have got into the office to face a 10 page fax of absolute verbal diarrhea , quoting section blah, subsection blah and ends with the line I have instructed my solicitor to take this matter further unless you provide a written apology for your failings, recanting your baseless allegations and a specific apology for defamation of character ...


Where is the swivel on this emoticon  evil: evil: evil: evil:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2009, 08:01:43 AM
 Finger:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 08:04:03 AM
Oh that feels better....thanks Snoops  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2009, 08:04:58 AM
Character can only be defamed if he can prove that (i) whatever you said has been made public by you and (ii) that he can prove you are wrong. Personally I'd hand it all to the council's solicitor and let them deal with it.
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 15, 2009, 08:08:49 AM
He's an "actor" ask him which of the characters he's played you've supposed to have defamed  ;)

Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 08:26:41 AM
 happy001

More extracts...

....I have several witnesses , all Dinsey Studios? employees who were unexpected parties to the impromptu phone call from your officer. All can attest ( given that xxxxx unexpectedly called out of the blue (whilst we were discussing a crucial make or break Hollywood film related issue) that I conducted myself in the same above reproach way with her as I would do with them
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 15, 2009, 08:28:41 AM
Offer him a straight jacket, I have a spare one that you can borrow.
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 08:30:41 AM
Can I tie it really tightly  eveilgrin: ...round him of course Miss C  lol:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2009, 08:30:52 AM
He wants money and thinks he can build a claim using friends to support a cock and bull story ~ and he can't even spell Disney  lol:










So what is the difference between Walt Disney and Bing Crosby?


Bing Sings but Walt Disney  (Use a Scottish accent)





Time for walkies I feel...................................
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 15, 2009, 08:39:36 AM
Send a DS "Slurry Surprise" to his home, only ?45 to VP members.  8)
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 15, 2009, 09:07:54 AM
Can I tie it really tightly  eveilgrin: ...round him of course Miss C  lol:

You most certainly may Miss D, the throat restraint should be tied particularly tight I feel. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 10:55:15 AM
The list of men to kill has risen to 3 so far this morning...

Mr Hollywood

Mr Nutcase

Mr Uncompromising


All of these official feckin complaints will take soooooo long to formally respond to   sad24:. None of them are justified  ( and I do hold my hands up when they are  angel1 ) and none of them will ever be satisifed.


 evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:

 
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2009, 11:37:19 AM
Standard letter:

Dear XXXXXX

Thank you for your letter of xx/xx/xx the contents of which are noted.
In order to give your complaint full and fair consideration I have called for reports from the officers concerned and invited their response to your comments. Once these are to hand please be assured I will be in touch with you.

Yours sincerely
Miss D



That should hold them for at least two weeks at which time you send the usual:

Dear XXXXXX
As promised in my letter of yy/yy/yy and following a full investigation I am now in a position to reply to your letter of xx/xx/xx in which you stated that ********************.
My officers have informed me that at no time did they ???????? nor do they accept that ??????????. Might I ask therefore that you provide proof of your assertions without which I am unable to pursue the matter further.

Yours sincerely
Miss D


Two weeks later, whether you have heard from them or not, send them

Dear XXXXXX
Further to our previous correspondence concerning **********************.
As you have not responded to my letter of bb/bb/bb I assume that the matter has either been resolved to your satisfaction or that you no longer wish to proceed with your complaint. Accordingly I have closed the file.

Yours sincerely
Miss D


Simples!

Oh and don't forget to burn their "evidence"
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 15, 2009, 11:41:08 AM
Most excellent. lol:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 11:48:44 AM
I like it  lol:...wish it was that simples  sad24:

Today is going to be iced off nicely by a visit I have to do this afternoon......again another formal complaint hence my reason for going  ( to support the officer) but the gentleman  noooo: concerned has written in response to my last letter , inviting him to attend today , and said of course he could....did I know that he was great friends with The Grim Reaper ???

 doh:

i think I might be breaching my own no drinking during the week rules today  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 15, 2009, 12:07:43 PM
I will away and put some collapsio ion the fridge...
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 15, 2009, 12:17:28 PM
I'm intrigued as to what you do for a living Miss D.
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2009, 12:21:17 PM
I like it  lol:...wish it was that simples  sad24:

Today is going to be iced off nicely by a visit I have to do this afternoon......again another formal complaint hence my reason for going  ( to support the officer) but the gentleman  noooo: concerned has written in response to my last letter , inviting him to attend today , and said of course he could....did I know that he was great friends with The Grim Reaper ???

 doh:

i think I might be breaching my own no drinking during the week rules today  cloud9:


I got away with that giving people that sort of run-around for years.

As for no drinking during the week ~ that only makes you into a binge drinker whereas if you top up daily then you are a regular drinker  whistle:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 12:24:49 PM
I like your reasoning  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 15, 2009, 12:48:48 PM
A hollywood actor?

"I am Maximus Dickheadimus Moronius, husband to a pissed off wife, father to an embarrassed son and I will have my 5 minuts of fame, in this life or the next" 

whistle:

Something that it could be worth checking is that some councils and companies (I think disney is one of them) record all of their incoming and outgoing calls. Might be worth mentioning that and seeing the reaction.
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2009, 12:51:42 PM
On the subject of drinking regularly ~ One of our regulars always used to start a session with this little poem:

Oh Alcohol you are a pest,
You often keep me from my rest,
You turn my best friends into foes,
But since you are beneath my nose:
Cheers! Here Goes!
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 15, 2009, 12:57:21 PM
I was once sold a photocopier by a chap who's had bit parts in various movies.

http://www.ukscreen.com/cast/larsevans (http://www.ukscreen.com/cast/larsevans)
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 15, 2009, 01:00:46 PM
I almost had an extra's part in Hornblower when they were shooting in Falmouth but work wouldnt give me the time off. Ironically they had already given me grief over not having taken any holiday in a year.  Banghead
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 15, 2009, 02:09:54 PM
A hollywood actor?

"I am Maximus Dickheadimus Moronius, husband to a pissed off wife, father to an embarrassed son and I will have my 5 minuts of fame, in this life or the next"  

Did I mention he was an American , uphisownarse ,twat  evil: evil: evil: ?
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 15, 2009, 02:19:25 PM
American? Hmmm I'm sure I can find one of Mel's lines from Braveheart to give the GM treatment.....  whistle:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2009, 02:30:06 PM
A hollywood actor?

"I am Maximus Dickheadimus Moronius, husband to a pissed off wife, father to an embarrassed son and I will have my 5 minuts of fame, in this life or the next"  

Dis I mention he was an American , uphisownarse ,twat  evil: evil: evil: ?

Well that explains a lot ~ he clearly doesn't know much about English civil law.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fit to burst
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 15, 2009, 03:37:41 PM
I like your reasoning  cloud9:

Wot she said.