The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on August 24, 2009, 05:37:59 AM

Title: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 24, 2009, 05:37:59 AM
Mercifully not long to go now  cloud9:

The Boy has three days of intensive all day sports and induction at new Big Skool starting tomorrow, with 200 other small boys.

What can possibly go wrong?















 scared2:




Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 24, 2009, 06:52:36 AM
2 weeks left and counting  Banghead

Although she is spending next week with her dad - the 1st time he has actually covered any of the summer holiday  eeek:

But in the meantime it is the rush to get all the school stuff ( again) - apparently she needs a new bag as last years is no longer acceptable  , shoes  etc etc etc

 evil:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 24, 2009, 07:33:20 AM
We bought all the new Skool Uniform about 2 weeks ago  angel1

Mrs Nick has now forgotten where she put it all  Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 24, 2009, 07:36:05 AM
I would start looking now....you at least have some hope of finding it before the school starts then   noooo:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 24, 2009, 07:37:39 AM
We have to find it today  sad24:

It could be anywhere  noooo:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2009, 07:43:48 AM
We have to find it today  sad24:

It could be anywhere  noooo:
It'll be in the last place you look!  angel1
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 24, 2009, 07:43:59 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2009, 07:44:34 AM
evil:
Happy to help!  angel1
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on August 24, 2009, 08:20:25 AM
 rubschin: Wot's a skool uniform?  angel1
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 24, 2009, 08:21:28 AM
The hound sets the fuse..........


 lol:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 24, 2009, 08:56:33 AM
 Explode:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 24, 2009, 09:07:08 AM
Explode:

I wonder what 'the splatter' factor was. whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2009, 03:10:58 PM
The Boy is due back from Day 1 soon.  scared2:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on August 25, 2009, 03:16:45 PM
You found the right clothes then?  whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2009, 03:17:05 PM
More or less  rubschin:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on August 30, 2009, 02:27:54 PM
Well, a big week looms.

Mrs Nick goes back to werk and starts a new job - there will be tears  noooo:
The Boy starts Big Skool and will be going on THE BUS. Will have to make sure each day that he does not blow all his cash on food and leave no money for the return journey. What can possibly go wrong?  scared2:
I get back to werk too after a fashion  angel1
Men come to do more werk in house  noooo:
AND a fooking social werker is coming round to follow up on the Boy's brush with the law on Tuesday.  evil: I may have to keeell him  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on August 30, 2009, 07:49:14 PM
Well, a big week looms.

Mrs Nick goes back to werk and starts a new job - there will be tears  noooo: Bound to be and it'll be your fault
The Boy starts Big Skool and will be going on THE BUS. Will have to make sure each day that he does not blow all his cash on food and leave no money for the return journey. What can possibly go wrong?  scared2: Buy him a weekly /monthly/termly bus pass. He can't spend that on food or sweets
I get back to werk too after a fashion  angel1 Good ~ it'll take your mind off things
Men come to do more werk in house  noooo: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
AND a fooking social werker is coming round to follow up on the Boy's brush with the law on Tuesday.  evil: I may have to keeell him  eveilgrin: Not a bad plan, claim temporary insanity, we'll all support that, and you'll get a couple of years peace in a nice padded cell. Can you roll your own?
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 02, 2009, 01:08:46 PM
Well, 7.45 tomorrow morning will be the Boy's first trip on a Skool Bus  scared2:. I imagine the fart smell will be frightful  noooo:

Incredibly, becuase of some daft local regulation, the Skool Buses are obliged to pick up any other passengers who want to get on  rubschin:

I imagine that few would last very long  noooo:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 02, 2009, 01:27:44 PM
The Brat doesn't go back until next Monday  noooo:

They have gone to Thorpe Park today.....

So far I have had 4 screaming phone calls at work to say this was 'wicked' and that was 'the bomb' and the other was 'awesome ' .........

I hope she finds the ride soon that startles her half to death and her vocal chords shut down completely  whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 02, 2009, 01:30:47 PM
Is she learning English?
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 02, 2009, 01:43:32 PM
Obviously not.  ;)
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 02, 2009, 02:51:16 PM
 lol:

Well I can never understand her when she talks to me and I only ever use the Queen's English  whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Bar Wench on September 03, 2009, 08:34:54 PM
Well, 7.45 tomorrow morning will be the Boy's first trip on a Skool Bus  scared2:. I imagine the fart smell will be frightful  noooo:

Incredibly, becuase of some daft local regulation, the Skool Buses are obliged to pick up any other passengers who want to get on  rubschin:

I imagine that few would last very long  noooo:

I did it once. By mistake. It was hell.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2009, 06:15:52 AM
She put him on the Bus and then drove to the Skool to make sure he got there OK  noooo:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 04, 2009, 06:37:09 AM
Ah, how sweet.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2009, 11:04:47 AM
Let the homework battles commence  cussing:

He is going to get a lot - starting with Russian  eveilgrin:

He does not know that the school website has a parents' portal through which we are informed of homework set, homework handed in and marks awarded (amongst many other things)  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 06, 2009, 11:31:43 AM
He soon will ~ word spreads like wildfire during the second week!
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2009, 11:40:03 AM
Excellent! Then he will know there is no escape  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 06, 2009, 11:44:46 AM
Frankly it never made a blind bit of difference at PHS.

The kids that elect to ignore homework continue to so do and their parents will still condone whatever their kids do or don't do.

Within a few weeks most of the teaching staff had given up even trying to operate the system.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2009, 11:46:15 AM
This place is a bit stricter  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 06, 2009, 11:48:07 AM
Problem is that their ultimate sanction is to simply throw the kid out and that does no good at all.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 06, 2009, 12:09:50 PM
The THW who got an A* in English and a A in History cannot spell Napoleon  Banghead
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2009, 12:18:14 PM
Is she writing to him?
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 06, 2009, 01:26:06 PM
AS Level History homework  ::)

Apparently this a precursor to starting the course "proper".

Two topics for the AS History. (i) Italian unification (ii) German unification 

I don't see me lasting the year  noooo:

I have already pointed out that Italy was created by the unification of a number of separate states thus "Italian unification" is a misnomer and the topic should more properly be called "The Unification that created Italy" or even, for simpletons, "How Italy came into being as a State". I have also explained that the German bit is much the same idea and is not about the bloody Berlin wall coming down. Am I to be believed? No! Banghead
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 07, 2009, 08:08:30 AM
Snoops - just don't get involved . It has to be easier on your blood pressure that way !!!!

She is 16 going on 17 ( all sing along now.......get your Sound of Music songlist out ) ......has just got great grades and knows not of any of this world of which you speak, nor is she interested.

Save yourself the hassle

Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 07, 2009, 09:04:11 AM
http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/germanunification.html (http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/germanunification.html)  whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2009, 09:10:05 AM
Now she is sixth form she no longer has to wear the skool uniform. She can wear anything she likes ("within reason" they add) as long as it is either black or white.

So other than looking like a waitress in a seaside hotel circa 1950 she has a degree of freedom.  ::)

She knew not what I meant on day one when she appeared and I asked for a pot of tea for one. (White blouse, black skirt, black tights)

Today she has gone looking more suited to seeking customers on the Town Hall steps than someone preparing to do a day's learning. Black micro skirt, black lycra shorts beneath them and black tights. Ludicrous!  happy001

She has also persuaded her mother that she should have a pair of white "pumps" to be worn, she plans, with black tights. Given that her feet are size eight she'll look like Minnie Mouse  
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi119.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo150%2FKingetry%2Fmickey-minnie-mouse-valentines-pink.jpg&hash=9e5ae7408ac7d1aed8d1335734d8fc0a20cf89a7)

Blood pressure? ~ this next two years are going to be hilarious.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2009, 09:10:32 AM
http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/germanunification.html (http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/germanunification.html)  whistle:

I know ~ she doesn't  evil:


She thinks it starts with "Ich bin ein Berliner" and ends with Maggie and Ronnie taking lumps out of the Berlin wall.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 07, 2009, 09:16:58 AM
All I know about about German unification is that it happened in the 19th century and a chap called Bismarck had something to do with it.

Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 07, 2009, 09:24:18 AM
That is all you need to know, unless your pub quizzes are more sophisticated in, um, Essex. Oh  redface:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 07, 2009, 09:27:25 AM
Essex pub quizzes: Reality TV, "celebrities" and soaps.  noooo:

They think I'm a dunce.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 07, 2009, 09:28:09 AM
 happy100

Run your own. That will scare them  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2009, 09:29:01 AM
More or less Uncle. That both "Germany" and "Italy" did not actually exist but were a collection of separate "mini" states, each with their own King/Queen/ Prince running the show through their own "Ministers" is the point. It was the coming together of these states and the effect that had on European and World politics that counts as far as her AS level is concerned. She has yet to get her head round the fact that neither existed as we know them today, as republics each with one government.
The only reason this came up was because I asked what the topics were and she sneeringly declared that they were nonsense and soooooooooooo boring. I tried to spark her interest by pointing out the relevance as well as the cause and effect and how the two combined caused so much trouble for the world. I went on a bit about how this led to what she had studied last year (WWI & WWII Causes and effects) but she glazed over so I gave up.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 07, 2009, 09:30:28 AM
The Boy declared that he has 'done' World War 2 in primary school and doesn't want to 'do' it again  noooo:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 07, 2009, 09:31:16 AM
I said that about the Battle of Hastings and The Tudors  whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 07, 2009, 09:34:30 AM
The Tudors said the same about Snoopy
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2009, 09:36:31 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 07, 2009, 09:41:15 AM
The Tudors said the same about Snoopy

Apparently so did the Romans, hence the phrase Canis Horriblis whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2009, 03:50:03 PM
PE today. All kit reported lost  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Pastis on September 08, 2009, 03:59:13 PM
It's a ruse. Believe me.  whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2009, 03:59:57 PM
He needs it again for tomorrow  cussing: I only bought the school shirt YESTERDAY Angry9:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 08, 2009, 04:03:47 PM
Knowing how keen the Boy is on sport I don't think it a ruse.

Phone the skool and they will say:

"Was his name in everything?"

and you will say "Yes of course"

and they will say "He must learn to look after his stuff, this isn't like Junior Skool"

and you will say "I know"

and they will say "Tell him to look in 'Lost Property' in the morning"

and you will think "Why tell us to put his name in everything and then not be prepared to fvcking look for it?" but you bite your tongue and say "OK"

and then tomorrow he will forget to look for it

and the following day he will have PE again and throw a wobbly because he doesn't have his kit so one of you will go to the school and hunt down the lost property bin/cupboard

and you will not find his kit

and you will speak to a member of staff who will be indifferent because you will be the tenth this week.

Eventually you will buy him new kit and he will repeat the performance regularly for two years at a rate of at least twice a term. You will one day engage a cleaner in conversation and she will tell you that they (the cleaners) pick up all the lost, stolen and strayed kit and put it somewhere other than in Lost Property that not even the Headteacher knows about and she will lead you there and you will find a whole heap of kit belonging to The Boy and many other boys. None of it will fit him any more so you do what everyone else does. You'll accept the cleaners advice and take a set of kit that looks as if it might fit The Boy and that isn't infested with lice. You will rip out all the name tapes of sundry other boys and sew in your own Boy's name tags.

At least that is what we have spent the last 12 years doing for everyone of ours!  Banghead
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2009, 04:06:25 PM
 surrender:

I am sure you are right  noooo:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 08, 2009, 04:08:00 PM
Mercifully not long to go now  cloud9:

The Boy has three days of intensive all day sports and induction at new Big Skool starting tomorrow, with 200 other small boys.

What can possibly go wrong?



Well now you know!  whistle:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2009, 04:08:59 PM
He tells me that he was punished today for not having the correct socks!!

20 press ups  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Snoopy on September 08, 2009, 04:24:48 PM
See also protractors, compasses, rulers, pens, pencil cases, briefcases/sports bags, caps, ties, shoes, swimming trunks, towels, socks, football boots, bus passes, heads if not firmly attached. One of mine even managed to lose his clothes and spent the entire day in his PE kit. The clothing never turned up  noooo:

Now obviously some child/children played a prank whilst he was on the sports field.
Questions I posed to the head:
(i) What sort of idiot timetables Outdoor PE for the first lesson of the day thus ensuring the rest of the day is spent with mud encrusted, sweaty kids?
(ii) What sort of school is it that does nothing about a child who has spent all day attending classes wearing muddy PE kit?
(iii) Why has no-one bothered to contact his home for fresh clothing despite knowing that we live only three minutes away?

Answers came there none.
Title: Re: Back to Skool
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2009, 06:20:08 PM
 noooo: