The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on July 27, 2009, 08:09:24 AM

Title: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 27, 2009, 08:09:24 AM
Taking Lil Bro to the Airport this morning.
I fecking hate Muntchester airport.
I shall not be getting out of the car as I fear being tasered by some trigger happy copper.
I am wearing a heart monitor clipped to the front of my shirt with wires that disappear into the shirt and attach to electrodes stuck on my chest.
You just know that if I go into the airport some b@st@rd is going to over-react and I will not be given the chance to explain.

I have been wearing this device for the past week and on Friday went to fill the car at a local filling station much favoured by the motorised cops around here. Bumped into one in the doorway. He looked panic stricken when he spotted the wires and started reaching for his baton/radio/fuck knows what until I said "Morning son ~ it's a heart monitor"....... then he got all interested and wanted to be shown how it worked and so on. I end up opening the shirt to show him that I am not a walking bomb.

At least being 62 with very grey (all right, white) hair I can get away with calling them "Son".  ;D

Still it comes off on the 5th August. The bloody electrodes don't half itch and turning over in bed last night I damn near hung myself in the tangle of wires.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 27, 2009, 11:28:23 AM
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 27, 2009, 11:31:37 AM
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Barman on July 27, 2009, 11:32:51 AM
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon
As a spelling of Burkhas?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 27, 2009, 12:06:18 PM
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon
As a spelling of Burkhas?  Shrugs:
drumroll:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 27, 2009, 03:05:14 PM
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon
As a spelling of Burkhas?  Shrugs:


 lol: lol:

Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 27, 2009, 04:52:43 PM
I quite liked the idea of Pendants ~ just hanging around waiting like but .............. shrugs:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Pastis on July 27, 2009, 05:11:37 PM
I had a Pendant once .... I think  rubschin:  It was a very long time ago
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 27, 2009, 05:31:30 PM
In the Biblical sense? eeek:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 27, 2009, 05:56:39 PM
In the Biblical sense? eeek:
Would that not be knew?

I think the biblical scholars among us (are there any now?) would be disappointed with "Cain had his wife and she did conceive. . . " etc

Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Nick on July 27, 2009, 07:13:40 PM
I have just got back from Manchester myself. Saw some top totty (mind you I was in the posh bit  whistle:)
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Barman on July 27, 2009, 07:14:40 PM
I have just got back from Manchester myself. Saw some top totty (mind you I was in the posh bit  whistle:)
Welcome back like.... You have some catching up to do...  whistle:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 27, 2009, 07:40:23 PM
I have just got back from Manchester myself. Saw some top totty (mind you I was in the posh bit  whistle:)

Were they orange and wearing skirts that measure about 9 inches from waist to hem? The Fecking Airport was swarming with them. I went no further into Muntchester than the Airport ~ I have relatives in Peel Hall and some more in Wythenshaw. I try not to meet them.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: beerhead on July 28, 2009, 03:26:47 PM
Oh, you Northerners. I am so glad that I am spending at least the next 6 weeks 1000 miles south of you, in the land of Sophia Loren impersonators.

Not a munter in site, tee hee.Tonight a suckling pig barbecue in the pine forest, with lots of Barolo. Hosted by Monica Belluci. Please feel free to Google that name.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2009, 03:31:16 PM
Hold on lad ~ I'm no bloody northerner. I come from Hampshire ~ any further south and you have to swim.  cussing:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Barman on July 28, 2009, 03:33:15 PM
Oh, you Northerners. I am so glad that I am spending at least the next 6 weeks 1000 miles south of you, in the land of Sophia Loren impersonators.

Not a munter in site, tee hee.Tonight a suckling pig barbecue in the pine forest, with lots of Barolo. Hosted by Monica Belluci. Please feel free to Google that name.
Are you on the Isle of Wight...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 28, 2009, 03:49:34 PM
http://www.zappinternet.com/video/FeKxRuvVar/Monica-Bellucci-los-mata-jadeando
 eeek:


Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: beerhead on July 28, 2009, 04:18:04 PM
Yep. Mis Creant, that's the lady. She's cooking tonight (and every night if you believe the video). And as I understand it, the Isle of Wight was the last part of the UK to become Christian. I would propose that the North West was the first part of the UK to renounce Christianity.

Time to have a shower and head up the hill.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2009, 04:27:11 PM
Dunno about the IoW and Christianity but the Romans liked it because "There are no wolves on Vectis".

It is also worthy of note that Queen Victoria was so concerned at the amount of in-breeding on the IoW that she asked Lord Palmerston to build a number of forts and garrison soldiers on the Island to thin out the bloodlines.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 28, 2009, 04:47:17 PM
I am so glad that I am spending at least the next 6 weeks 1000 miles south of you, in the land of Sophia Loren impersonators.

I have heard of these transvestite holidays, not really my cup of tea but I'm sure you will have lots of fun.

We look forward to seeing the photos on your return.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: beerhead on July 28, 2009, 04:55:31 PM
Sending in squaddies, that will really improve the gene pool. And DS, stick to twizzling your turkeys.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2009, 06:13:56 PM
I am so glad that I am spending at least the next 6 weeks 1000 miles south of you, in the land of Sophia Loren impersonators.

I have heard of these transvestite holidays, not really my cup of tea but I'm sure you will have lots of fun.

We look forward to seeing the photos on your return.

They are bound to be unconvincing  noooo:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Barman on July 29, 2009, 04:22:34 AM
Dunno about the IoW and Christianity but the Romans liked it because "There are no wolves on Vectis".

It is also worthy of note that Queen Victoria was so concerned at the amount of in-breeding on the IoW that she asked Lord Palmerston to build a number of forts and garrison soldiers on the Island to thin out the bloodlines.
Was that the husband of Lady Palmerston... with the five virgin daughters...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 29, 2009, 09:11:47 AM
Dunno about the IoW and Christianity but the Romans liked it because "There are no wolves on Vectis".

It is also worthy of note that Queen Victoria was so concerned at the amount of in-breeding on the IoW that she asked Lord Palmerston to build a number of forts and garrison soldiers on the Island to thin out the bloodlines.
Was that the husband of Lady Palmerston... with the five virgin daughters...?  rubschin:

This is the one that had many affairs, was Minister of War for many years and eventually PM. His statue stands in Palmerston Park, Southampton and he lived at Broadlands, Romsey, later home of Lord Mountbatten. Of his daughters I know nothing.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: barmisspah? on July 29, 2009, 09:16:59 AM
Dunno about the IoW and Christianity but the Romans liked it because "There are no wolves on Vectis".

It is also worthy of note that Queen Victoria was so concerned at the amount of in-breeding on the IoW that she asked Lord Palmerston to build a number of forts and garrison soldiers on the Island to thin out the bloodlines.
Was that the husband of Lady Palmerston... with the five virgin daughters...?  rubschin:

This is the one that had many affairs, was Minister of War for many years and eventually PM. His statue stands in Palmerston Park, Southampton and he lived at Broadlands, Romsey, later home of Lord Mountbatten. Of his daughters I know nothing.

Unusual for you  whistle:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 29, 2009, 09:20:09 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 29, 2009, 02:15:27 PM
Dunno about the IoW and Christianity but the Romans liked it because "There are no wolves on Vectis".

It is also worthy of note that Queen Victoria was so concerned at the amount of in-breeding on the IoW that she asked Lord Palmerston to build a number of forts and garrison soldiers on the Island to thin out the bloodlines.
Was that the husband of Lady Palmerston... with the five virgin daughters...?  rubschin:

This is the one that had many affairs, was Minister of War for many years and eventually PM. His statue stands in Palmerston Park, Southampton and he lived at Broadlands, Romsey, later home of Lord Mountbatten. Of his daughters I know nothing.

Unusual for you  whistle:

It's just his memory. It was over 100 years ago after all.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on July 29, 2009, 02:57:20 PM
Dunno about the IoW and Christianity but the Romans liked it because "There are no wolves on Vectis".

It is also worthy of note that Queen Victoria was so concerned at the amount of in-breeding on the IoW that she asked Lord Palmerston to build a number of forts and garrison soldiers on the Island to thin out the bloodlines.
Was that the husband of Lady Palmerston... with the five virgin daughters...?  rubschin:

This is the one that had many affairs, was Minister of War for many years and eventually PM. His statue stands in Palmerston Park, Southampton and he lived at Broadlands, Romsey, later home of Lord Mountbatten. Of his daughters I know nothing.

Unusual for you  whistle:



It's just his memory. It was over 100 years ago after all.

Good point, well made.  ;D
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on August 03, 2009, 08:21:35 AM
Back to Muntchester to pick up lil Bruvver today. Lunchtime arrival so that'll mean at least ?10 in the short stay car park and he'll be gagging for several pints of British beer. May be a looooooooooooooooong afternoon and I have a committee meeting this evening  noooo:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 03, 2009, 08:25:34 AM
 noooo:  Not a good day for you then? happy100
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on August 03, 2009, 08:32:02 AM
Nope  noooo:

Lil Bruvver will be pissed off because his holiday has ended so he will get drunk and morose.

Meeting will be attended by at least one who claims to have "just about" recovered from the swine flu and will not heed our pleas that he stays away. Another arsehole will insist on speaking Welsh and doing his own translations into English despite the fact he is the only one there who speaks Welsh ~ but it is his "right"

It is a Monday and even tho' I have now been "retired" for ten years I still hate Mondays.

The days ahead look expensive with many birthdays coming up and all culminating on the 14th when I have to take 6 little boys go karting for a belated Birthday Treat for Minor (we can't go on his birthday as his friend is on holiday ~ this happens every year  Banghead)
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 03, 2009, 10:44:25 AM
Birthdays do have a tendency to do that.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on August 03, 2009, 02:37:06 PM
I meant the postponement of party to enable friend to attend as the friend always goes on holiday over Minor's birthday. Banghead
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 03, 2009, 02:56:05 PM
I meant the postponement of party to enable friend to attend as the friend always goes on holiday over Minor's birthday. Banghead

You are back then?  I take it that the trip was as ghastly as you thought it would be?
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Snoopy on August 03, 2009, 02:57:35 PM
Hideous place. Still full of orange wimmin.
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 03, 2009, 03:00:33 PM
Hideous place. Still full of orange wimmin.

Umm have flown in and out of Manchester a few times, for me the wimmin were not too much of a problem, but the lifts... Explode:
Title: Re: I have to go to Muntchester
Post by: beerhead on August 05, 2009, 09:52:41 PM
I have only ever flown over Manchester. My co-pilot threw a urine filled beer bottle out somewhere near Chorlton-cum-Hardy. He said it was editorial comment and I see no reason to disagree with him.