Taking Lil Bro to the Airport this morning.
I fecking hate Muntchester airport.
I shall not be getting out of the car as I fear being tasered by some trigger happy copper.
I am wearing a heart monitor clipped to the front of my shirt with wires that disappear into the shirt and attach to electrodes stuck on my chest.
You just know that if I go into the airport some b@st@rd is going to over-react and I will not be given the chance to explain.
I have been wearing this device for the past week and on Friday went to fill the car at a local filling station much favoured by the motorised cops around here. Bumped into one in the doorway. He looked panic stricken when he spotted the wires and started reaching for his baton/radio/fuck knows what until I said "Morning son ~ it's a heart monitor"....... then he got all interested and wanted to be shown how it worked and so on. I end up opening the shirt to show him that I am not a walking bomb.
At least being 62 with very grey (all right, white) hair I can get away with calling them "Son".

Still it comes off on the 5th August. The bloody electrodes don't half itch and turning over in bed last night I damn near hung myself in the tangle of wires.