The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Just One More on May 27, 2009, 09:28:02 PM

Title: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Just One More on May 27, 2009, 09:28:02 PM: A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up at a pubtavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside. As he passes through the, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: £2.50
HAMBURGER: £2.25
CHEESEBURGER: £2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : £3.50
HAND JOB: £20.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female barmaid who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers. She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker. "Yes ?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you ? " The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs ?" She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I sure am". The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger".
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 27, 2009, 09:34:48 PM: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Pirate on May 27, 2009, 09:48:28 PM: Talking of handjobs...and cheesburgers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twq7Hmp41W4
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 05:09:52 AM: eeek:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Snoopy on May 28, 2009, 05:52:00 AM: The old 'uns are the best. lol:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2009, 06:09:35 AM: It's a good job they have squeezy bottles these days - the future generations will be safe from such mistakes ;D
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 08:28:41 AM: Wot happened to thos round tomato shaped ones? They used to have them in Wimpeys. smile:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 08:29:40 AM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 08:28:41 AM
Wot happened to thos round tomato shaped ones? They used to have them in Wimpeys. smile:
Ah Wimpy... cloud9:

Those were the days... table service, tomato shaped ketchup...

We couldn't afford it like... noooo:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2009, 08:30:53 AM: We still have a Wimpy down the road whistle:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 08:39:38 AM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 08:30:53 AM
We still have a Wimpy down the road whistle:
All self service now tho like... and ketchup in sachets prolly... noooo:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2009, 08:45:26 AM: No- still table service...lots of things like frankfurters in buns tho noooo:

Not sure about tomato sauce - may have to pay a visit and get a Brown Derby cloud9: just to check whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wimpy.uk.com%2Fimages%2Fmenu08%2Fdess%2Fderby.jpg&hash=999639d33ff2073adfad825a2f00f6c8d98a73cf)
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 08:48:21 AM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 08:45:26 AM
No- still table service...lots of things like frankfurters in buns tho noooo:

Not sure about tomato sauce - may have to pay a visit and get a Brown Derby cloud9: just to check whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wimpy.uk.com%2Fimages%2Fmenu08%2Fdess%2Fderby.jpg&hash=999639d33ff2073adfad825a2f00f6c8d98a73cf)
Yumster! cloud9:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 28, 2009, 08:51:04 AM: (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVHevD0.jpg&hash=1c8c2c68cd8167360c678137c47d4263a74acf18) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 08:52:01 AM: Quote from: Uncle Mort on May 28, 2009, 08:51:04 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVHevD0.jpg&hash=1c8c2c68cd8167360c678137c47d4263a74acf18) (http://www.postimage.org/)

Nope... can't see anything... whistle:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 08:53:07 AM: (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqYWFOi.jpg&hash=f3355076fd4e548e4223f0615875dc4828a27730) (http://www.postimage.org/)

lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 09:14:15 AM: Wot about a Bender?
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 28, 2009, 09:18:53 AM: Yes please

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqZ2LhS.jpg&hash=f6531ff8043af479d8c8c00fe9d867efee7d604c) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 09:33:51 AM: £1/10 in old money. razz:

http://www.kzwp.com/lyons/wimpy.htm
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 09:34:13 AM: A bender burger... cloud9:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 09:35:57 AM: Shame, there's not one in Epsom.
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 09:53:13 AM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 09:35:57 AM
Shame, there's not one in Epsom.
Indeed... rubschin:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM: Streatham, Croydon, Dorking Purley.
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 28, 2009, 10:40:29 AM: Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:

City of London perhaps.
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:46:24 AM: Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:

But then MissD would OD one Brown Derbies and Knickerbocker Glories.

Who wants to be responsible for that?
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:47:39 AM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:46:24 AM
Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:

But then MissD would OD one Brown Derbies and Knickerbocker Glories.

Who wants to be responsible for that?
A good point well made...

Epsom then... Sorry Uncle...
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:50:14 AM: Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:47:39 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:46:24 AM
Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:

But then MissD would OD one Brown Derbies and Knickerbocker Glories.

Who wants to be responsible for that?
A good point well made...

Epsom then... Sorry Uncle...

Do they still have the burger van in the market square?

Spent may happy hours there, also Chelsea Bridge and Thornton Heath Ponds come to think of it.

Biker eateries - how apt.
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 11:09:25 AM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:50:14 AM
Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:47:39 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:46:24 AM
Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:

But then MissD would OD one Brown Derbies and Knickerbocker Glories.

Who wants to be responsible for that?
A good point well made...

Epsom then... Sorry Uncle...

Do they still have the burger van in the market square?

Spent may happy hours there, also Chelsea Bridge and Thornton Heath Ponds come to think of it.

Biker eateries - how apt.

Shrugs:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2009, 11:29:38 AM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:46:24 AM
Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:

But then MissD would OD one Brown Derbies and Knickerbocker Glories.

Who wants to be responsible for that?

But what a way to go cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 11:38:16 AM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 11:29:38 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:46:24 AM
Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 10:38:12 AM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 10:31:02 AM
Streatham, Croydon, Dorling Purley.
Shall we change the venue then...? rubschin:

But then MissD would OD one Brown Derbies and Knickerbocker Glories.

Who wants to be responsible for that?

But what a way to go cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:

Typical.

No consideration for the people getting hernias, carrying you away.
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2009, 11:42:23 AM: Absolutely not - I'm worth it lol:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 12:34:59 PM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 11:42:23 AM
Absolutely not - I'm worth it lol:

Well as long as you are paying for the truss supply. smile:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 12:38:27 PM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 12:34:59 PM
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 11:42:23 AM
Absolutely not - I'm worth it lol:

Well as long as you are paying for the truss supply. smile:
I'll supervise... whistle:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: tel on May 28, 2009, 12:46:18 PM: Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 12:38:27 PM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 12:34:59 PM
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 11:42:23 AM
Absolutely not - I'm worth it lol:

Well as long as you are paying for the truss supply. smile:
I'll supervise... whistle:

Ah, of course the voice of experience.
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 12:58:11 PM: Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 12:46:18 PM
Quote from: Barman on May 28, 2009, 12:38:27 PM
Quote from: tel on May 28, 2009, 12:34:59 PM
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 11:42:23 AM
Absolutely not - I'm worth it lol:

Well as long as you are paying for the truss supply. smile:
I'll supervise... whistle:

Ah, of course the voice of experience.
Indeed... somebody needs to stand back and see the broader picture like... whistle:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2009, 06:45:29 PM: Is that right BM evil:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2009, 06:46:36 PM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 06:45:29 PM
Is that right BM evil:
I thought you were out... redface:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2009, 06:53:16 PM: Please don't think ...it doesn't suit you evil:
Title: Re: Wise Old Biker
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2009, 05:34:34 AM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 28, 2009, 06:53:16 PM
Please don't think ...it doesn't suit you evil:
rubschin:

No, you're right... noooo: