The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 11:44:44 AM

Title: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 11:44:44 AM
... coming to visit me us in Cyprus this year?  cloud9:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on January 30, 2009, 11:45:43 AM
The Archbishop of Canterbury?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 11:47:19 AM
Miss D
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 11:52:16 AM
Miss D
doh:

 evil:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 11:52:51 AM
Now how did I guess?  rubschin:

Beware, she has a proto THW in tow  point:

Photos required. Is she bringing a bikini?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 11:55:13 AM
Now how did I guess?  rubschin:

Beware, she has a proto THW in tow  point:

Photos required. Is she bringing a bikini?
No... she will be alone....  eyes:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 11:58:25 AM
And the bikini?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 12:00:03 PM
And the bikini?
No need... we have a secluded garden...  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 12:01:28 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 12:08:33 PM
eeek:
eyes:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on January 30, 2009, 12:09:44 PM
Are we sure this thread will not offend anyone?

If I were to be visiting I think I might be p*ssed at such speculation.
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 12:11:24 PM
Long pause while BM considers his bollocks options

If I visited I could post an entertaining blog with snaps


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqM1eCS.jpg&hash=d01f3f671d363bea4e2d65bb5fa17e8acb5172d9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=PqM1eCS)
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 12:15:10 PM
Are we sure this thread will not offend anyone?

If I were to be visiting I think I might be p*ssed at such speculation.
eeek:

I'm not offended...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on January 30, 2009, 12:16:30 PM
Are we sure this thread will not offend anyone?

If I were to be visiting I think I might be p*ssed at such speculation.
eeek:

I'm not offended...  rubschin:

But you are not the lady who is being discussed.


Oh Please yourselves!  ::)
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 12:17:52 PM
Are we sure this thread will not offend anyone?

If I were to be visiting I think I might be p*ssed at such speculation.
eeek:

I'm not offended...  rubschin:

But you are not the lady who is being discussed.


Oh Please yourselves!  ::)
Calm yourself hound... I cleared publication with Miss D yesterday...

I'm sure she is more than capable of taking the axe to Nick and myself if we transgress the bounds of decency...  ;)
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 12:25:51 PM
Quote
if we transgress the bounds of decency.

IF?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 12:27:29 PM
Quote
if we transgress the bounds of decency.

IF?
Well yes... it was somewhat inevitable wasn't it...  redface:

Which is why I asked her permission first...  cloud9:

I'm a gentleman see...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 12:28:57 PM
So what nice surprises plans do you have. Goat wrestling? Off road driving trips?

Cinema nights  happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 30, 2009, 12:33:08 PM
LL will be in attendence so I imagine much wine drinking and shopping will take place! It is more than possible that BM will never see her never mind get her in his cinema!
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 12:33:50 PM
So what nice surprises plans do you have. Goat wrestling? Off road driving trips?

Cinema nights  happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
She will be required to write a full report on: -

My wonderful hair
The vast cinema
My amazing decorating
The lack of goats in the pool
Etc.

 whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 02:07:59 PM
I am sure she is always truthful  angel1
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 30, 2009, 02:14:11 PM
So what nice surprises plans do you have. Goat wrestling? Off road driving trips?

Cinema nights  happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
She will be required to write a full report on: -

My wonderful hair
The vast cinema
My amazing decorating
The lack of goats in the pool
Etc.

 whistle:

Amazing the lies some people will tell for a holiday!  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2009, 02:57:39 PM
So what nice surprises plans do you have. Goat wrestling? Off road driving trips?

Cinema nights  happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
She will be required to write a full report on: -

My wonderful hair
The vast cinema
My amazing decorating
The lack of goats in the pool
Etc.

 whistle:

Amazing the lies some people will tell for a holiday!  whistle:

Not to mention on a holiday.
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 03:20:18 PM
I am sure she is always truthful  angel1
Indeed... expect a full written report on her return...  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 30, 2009, 03:20:47 PM
 point:

She seems to have gone missing today?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 03:24:57 PM
point:

She seems to have gone missing today?  rubschin:
Prolly making false bottoms in suitcases so she can be my Blu-Ray disc mule...  cloud9:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 30, 2009, 03:32:21 PM
Will she be able to smuggle a projector past LL though  rubschin:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 03:35:22 PM
Will she be able to smuggle a projector past LL though  rubschin:
I'm sure she could... it is smuggling the cash past LL to buy it that is presenting the problem...  evil:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2009, 04:03:30 PM
I must say Miss D is very brave to risk the land of goats and patios.  scared2:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 04:04:06 PM
Maybe she likes figs  shrugs:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 04:05:18 PM
Maybe she likes figs  shrugs:
Too early for figs... noooo:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 04:06:31 PM
She could help with your painting. TO earn her keep like
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 04:07:29 PM
She could help with your painting. TO earn her keep like
Painting will all be finished... and the shower...  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 04:07:54 PM
Other chores then.
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Uncle Mort on January 30, 2009, 04:08:26 PM
Is the date fixed for this visit then?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 04:08:56 PM
Form a queue  ::)
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Uncle Mort on January 30, 2009, 04:09:27 PM
Wot?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 04:09:32 PM
Is the date fixed for this visit then?
Yes... tickets booked and everything...  cloud9:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 04:10:09 PM
It sounded like Mort was hoping for an invite. Well, if he ever finds himself on the Wirral...........
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 04:10:38 PM
It sounded like Mort was hoping for an invite. Well, if he ever finds himself on the Wirral...........
Mort would be welcome too...  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 04:11:01 PM
But they'd have to share. He wouldn't like that  noooo:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 04:13:58 PM
But they'd have to share. He wouldn't like that  noooo:
doh:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Uncle Mort on January 30, 2009, 04:14:45 PM
Thanks but I wasn't looking for an invite.

I went to Cyprus on my honeymoon. The weather was cold, gloomy and wet. I lost my wedding ring in the sea.

nuff said?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 04:16:09 PM
 happy100
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2009, 05:16:05 PM
I lost my wedding ring in the sea.
noooo: The ocean and rings just don't go together.
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 30, 2009, 08:01:27 PM
point:

She seems to have gone missing today?  rubschin:
Prolly making false bottoms in suitcases so she can be my syrup mule...  cloud9:

Corrected for you  8)
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: GROWLER on January 30, 2009, 08:27:34 PM
Thanks but I wasn't looking for an invite.

I went to Cyprus on my honeymoon. The weather was cold, gloomy and wet. I lost my wedding ring in the sea.

nuff said?
So did I. Ayia Napa. Shithole then, so heaven knows what it's like now, 25 years later. eeek:

Most scorchio though, and a trip up to the Troodos mountains  was a pleasant and cool relief. Most beautiful.  cloud9:

Thinking about going back there, possibly this year even.  8)
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 30, 2009, 10:09:31 PM

Blimey you're away for a day like  lol: lol: lol:

I am very much looking forward to my stay with BM and LL  cloud9:

I have seen my itinary and apart from reinstalling a shower unit, serving popcorn and ice cream in the cinema, babysitting the goats, serving in the bar and repainting the whole place with a roller not a pod  - it should be a very enjoyable trip  noooo:



Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 10:11:42 PM

Blimey you're away for a day like  lol: lol: lol:

I am very much looking forward to my stay with BM and LL  cloud9:

I have seen my itinary and apart from reinstalling a shower unit, serving popcorn and ice cream in the cinema, babysitting the goats, serving in the bar and repainting the whole place with a roller not a pod  - it should be a very enjoyable trip  noooo:




evil:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 30, 2009, 10:19:10 PM
Sorry boss ....

2 sugars was it  cool14:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 10:24:26 PM
Sorry boss ....

2 sugars was it  cool14:
No sugar... I'm sweet enough, etc.  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 30, 2009, 10:29:02 PM
Could be a long trip......  ::) 
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 10:30:15 PM
Could be a long trip......  ::) 
evil:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on January 31, 2009, 08:21:25 AM
Use of cruet 10p extra. whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Just One More on January 31, 2009, 08:49:06 AM
Use of cruet 10p extra. whistle:

Did that actually use to happen? I remember Les Dawson  cloud9: using it in a routine, but it was sixpence then
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on January 31, 2009, 08:51:25 AM
Oh yes, it most certainly did. Inflation accounts for the price difference.
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 08:58:41 AM
We charge in Euros here of course...  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 31, 2009, 10:36:20 AM
She will be required to write a full report on: -

My wonderful hair
The vast cinema
My amazing decorating
The lack of goats in the pool
Etc.

I can just see the excerpts now...

"BM does have wonderful hair, unfortunately he hadn't realised the wig was back to front when he superglued it so he now looks like Cousin It"

"BM showed me his cinema and it is huge. It just seems strange that it was 10 minutes drive from his house & he had to pay at the door. Maybe its a piggy bank"

Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 31, 2009, 10:42:20 AM
I have been promised there will be no censorship on my report  - although apparently there are some legal documents on the way to me in the post that I just need to sign and return.  whacky115
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 31, 2009, 02:03:04 PM
I have been promised there will be no censorship on my report  - although apparently there are some legal documents on the way to me in the post that I just need to sign and return.  whacky115

Should have seen the contract I was required to sign and that was just for a couple of hours in the pub! For a stay Chez BM it is likely to rival a roll of andrex for length!!!
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 02:04:20 PM
I have been promised there will be no censorship on my report  - although apparently there are some legal documents on the way to me in the post that I just need to sign and return.  whacky115

Should have seen the contract I was required to sign and that was just for a couple of hours in the pub! For a stay Chez BM it is likely to rival a roll of andrex for length!!!
And all those terms and conditions are still binding young lady!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 31, 2009, 02:05:16 PM
Of course they are Silver Fox of the luscious locks!  scared2:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 02:06:35 PM
Of course they are Silver Fox of the luscious locks!  scared2:
Well done...  cloud9:

'In perpetuity' remember... (although to be fair that was in very, very tiny print).  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 02:08:29 PM
Actually, when I say 'small print' it was twenty five point Helvetica but with Wenchy's eyes the effect was the same...  happy001
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 31, 2009, 02:34:05 PM
There is nothing wrong with my eyes!!!!
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 02:36:25 PM
There is nothing wrong with my eyes!!!!
whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 31, 2009, 02:46:50 PM
I have been promised there will be no censorship on my report  - although apparently there are some legal documents on the way to me in the post that I just need to sign and return.  whacky115

Should have seen the contract I was required to sign and that was just for a couple of hours in the pub! For a stay Chez BM it is likely to rival a roll of andrex for length!!!

Wenchy - did you manage to find a get out clause so you can spill the beans before May like  eeek:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on January 31, 2009, 03:27:30 PM
I 'spect it read 'In perpetuity or part thereof'  whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 03:50:46 PM
I 'spect it read 'In perpetuity or part thereof'  whistle:
lol:

No problems with you eyes then!
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on January 31, 2009, 03:58:40 PM
 ;)
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 31, 2009, 04:03:42 PM
I 'spect it read 'In perpetuity or part thereof'  whistle:
drumroll:

'In perpetuity or until Hell freezes over, whichever is the sooner'
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 04:39:12 PM
I 'spect it read 'In perpetuity or part thereof'  whistle:
drumroll:

'In perpetuity or until Hell freezes over, whichever is the sooner'
'In perpetuity or until Hell freezes over or until the cake/train shop is proven, whichever is the sooner'
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on January 31, 2009, 04:43:36 PM
I 'spect it read 'In perpetuity or part thereof'  whistle:
drumroll:

'In perpetuity or until Hell freezes over, whichever is the sooner'
'In perpetuity or until Hell freezes over or until the cake/train shop is proven, whichever is the sooner'

I must get over to AINSDALE with my camera then eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2009, 04:44:27 PM
I 'spect it read 'In perpetuity or part thereof'  whistle:
drumroll:

'In perpetuity or until Hell freezes over, whichever is the sooner'
'In perpetuity or until Hell freezes over or until the cake/train shop is proven, whichever is the sooner'

I must get over to AINSDALE with my camera then eveilgrin:
Mind you don't slip on the ice...  point:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Bar Wench on January 31, 2009, 04:48:24 PM
I have been promised there will be no censorship on my report  - although apparently there are some legal documents on the way to me in the post that I just need to sign and return.  whacky115

Should have seen the contract I was required to sign and that was just for a couple of hours in the pub! For a stay Chez BM it is likely to rival a roll of andrex for length!!!

Wenchy - did you manage to find a get out clause so you can spill the beans before May like  eeek:

 whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 01, 2009, 12:10:59 AM
I have been promised there will be no censorship on my report  - although apparently there are some legal documents on the way to me in the post that I just need to sign and return.  whacky115

Should have seen the contract I was required to sign and that was just for a couple of hours in the pub! For a stay Chez BM it is likely to rival a roll of andrex for length!!!

And content, knowing Old Baldy whistle:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Barman on February 01, 2009, 10:12:58 AM
I have been promised there will be no censorship on my report  - although apparently there are some legal documents on the way to me in the post that I just need to sign and return.  whacky115

Should have seen the contract I was required to sign and that was just for a couple of hours in the pub! For a stay Chez BM it is likely to rival a roll of andrex for length!!!

And content, knowing Old Baldy whistle:
lol: lol: lol: lol: ::) evil:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Landlady on February 01, 2009, 11:08:33 AM
Hi Guys

Sorry for not having been here to serve up the ale for such a long time but as you can imagine there has been quite a bit of tidying up to do (behind the dust sheets) after Baldy's decorating escapades  whistle:

Just a quick note to send my love and best wishes to one and all patrons  razz: and to confirm that I am also looking forward to meeting Miss. D.

I am certain a 'fun time' will be experienced by all    rubschin:

TinkerBell says 'yeah'........................ too

xxx
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 11:09:23 AM
But BM will be outnumbered by wimmin. He may have to come and stay with us
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Landlady on February 01, 2009, 11:14:57 AM
But BM will be outnumbered by wimmin. He may have to come and stay with us

Yep..............

Baldy - man (so he says)
Landlady - all woman
Miss D - perfect lady
Skeelos - male dog
Stinky - female cat (can't meiow)
Piggy - male cat
Tigger - male cat
50/60 mixed Goats
 
Sounds a fair mix !!
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 01, 2009, 11:21:47 AM
Hi Guys

Sorry for not having been here to serve up the ale for such a long time but as you can imagine there has been quite a bit of tidying up to do (behind the dust sheets) after Baldy's decorating escapades  whistle:

Just a quick note to send my love and best wishes to one and all patrons  razz: and to confirm that I am also looking forward to meeting Miss. D.

I am certain a 'fun time' will be experienced by all    rubschin:

TinkerBell says 'yeah'........................ too

xxx

Me too LL  cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 01, 2009, 01:29:34 PM
50/60 mixed Goats

Is that cross-dressing or hermaphrodite goats?
Title: Re: Guess Who is...
Post by: Snoopy on February 01, 2009, 01:38:16 PM
I think that "Kim" might have said circa 50 goats. ::)