The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 08:10:00 AM

Title: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 08:10:00 AM
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howto.html

It's International Talk Like a Pirate day, so off you go!

Quote
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

By popular demand ...

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

2. RAMMING SPEED!

...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Barman on September 19, 2008, 08:12:31 AM
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howto.html

It's International Talk Like a Pirate day, so off you go!

Quote
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

By popular demand ...

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

2. RAMMING SPEED!

...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

“Well, me hearties, look what crawled out of the bung hole.”   point:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 08:13:12 AM
Well done BM, keep em coming!
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 19, 2008, 09:07:24 AM
I'm just waiting for Darwin to start with the Captain Pugwash comments.  whistle:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 19, 2008, 09:55:31 AM
I'm just waiting for Darwin to start with the Captain Pugwash comments.  whistle:

Snoopy always tells me off because my favourite Pugwash names weren't real. cry:

Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 19, 2008, 09:56:15 AM
Just roll up a newspaper next time he does, that will quiet him  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 09:57:12 AM
Quote
Wanka
A Mexican who works for Jake who speaks little English. He repeats everything that Jake says, annoying him greatly. Again, this character was an unnamed, unspeaking character in the earlier series.
Quote
Pirate Willy
A simple sailor from Wigan. He appears to be the youngest crew member (apart from Tom). He is a gentle soul, and is against using violence. He does, however, have the occasional brainwave and has been the crew's saviour (admittedly sometimes more by luck than by design). "Just you wait 'til we get back to Wigan - we won't half have a 'tail' to tell!"

http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/im/pugwash2.wav (http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/im/pugwash2.wav)

Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 19, 2008, 11:50:27 AM
Pirate Willy

We used to know a red-faced and argumentative chap who we Christened "Irate Willy".

Do you think he was a matelot then?
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 11:51:13 AM
 shrugs:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 19, 2008, 12:34:50 PM
See How A Pirate Would Say It
 (http://www.syddware.com/cgi-bin/pirate.pl)
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 19, 2008, 01:00:48 PM
Oddly enough Mort, this place makes far more sense when you put it through the websie translator at the bottom of that page.  eeek:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Pastis on September 19, 2008, 01:31:01 PM
'Ere, anybody found the bosun's particle yet?
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Barman on September 19, 2008, 01:31:52 PM
'Ere, anybody found the bosun's particle yet?
drumroll:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 01:34:10 PM
Quote
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

I wish I had known that when I was 18  noooo:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Barman on September 19, 2008, 01:38:48 PM
Quote
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

I wish I had known that when I was 18  noooo:
Why, what did you think she wanted you to do???  point:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 01:39:14 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 19, 2008, 01:41:23 PM
Quote
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

I wish I had known that when I was 18  noooo:

But how many female pirates did you know?
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2008, 01:44:37 PM
Nottingham was full of them  ::)
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 21, 2008, 08:32:02 AM
Red lit skull & crossed bones?

Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 21, 2008, 08:46:08 AM
Red lit skull & crossed bones?


noooo:
Cutlass and scurvy.
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 22, 2008, 10:25:51 AM
Thinking about it Nick would have made a terrifying pirate back in the day. Just imagine him stomping across the deck towards you. Peg leg, hook hand, eyepatch and wielding a blunderbuss.  eeek:
Title: Re: A vast behind!
Post by: Nick on September 22, 2008, 10:27:22 AM
ANd a tube of glue!