The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on September 07, 2008, 11:40:22 AM
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We have a door in the house which is locked. It has a three lever mortice lock. Mrs Nick locked it (with the ONLY key), put they key in "a safe place" ::)and now has no idea where it is. cussing:
We need to open the door. evil:
We can't. evil: evil:
Any suggestions? I imagine a locksmith would happily come out to fix it and charge us a small fortune. Any DIY alternatives?
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It largely depends how much you want to get through that door today, how much damage and resultant cost you are prepared to face and whether those costs would be greater or less than getting a locksmith out tomorrow. Personally I'd put my size 10 boot to it, just by the lock but that stands a good chance of hurting your back. You could, of course, forget about it and the key will turn up one day. Before I had all new doors fitted we had locks on all internal doors. I kept a spare for each one in my office for just this eventuality because it was so foretellable.
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Anyone got any other ideas(not involving explosives)?
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A carefully aimed sledgehammer. It'll probably splinter the frame as well, but if access if that urgent... shrugs:
I witnessed a gruesome incident a couple of years ago where the police used that tactic with success. What they found behind the door was not for the fainthearted... noooo:
I don't think there's anyway you'll pick the lock; can we assume you've tried every key in the house?
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Assuming you have tried all other keys to similar locks in your house and those of your neighbours (Presumably they will also have doors/locks dating from the conversion work). If it is an internal door it is unusual to have all internal door locks different for cost reasons alone it is cheaper to buy the same locks for all doors. When we moved here 12 internal doors all had locks but we found that keys for one would open others .... not all but some of the others. I sorted it out so that I had two labelled keys per door (had to get a couple cut). Anyway you may find that other keys from around the building will fit or at least turn perhaps halfway, maybe a little further. Application of some chalk to the key will show you at what point you are meeting resistance and a file will take care of that.
I'm afraid that wriggling a hairpin around in a lock is pure Hollywood fiction.
If you can take the damage to the door or door surround it will cause then brute force is the only quick answer.
A locksmith will prolly be able to work out a close fit from his sets of blanks and then it will be a bit of work with a file as suggested above. There is a company who operate a mobile service via a chain of franchises (like DynoRod) but you'll need to look in the Yellow Pages to find them. Get a quote first then decide whether to pay them or kick the lock out and pay a carpenter to replace it.
I know I worked in security for years but I am no expert breaker-in. All the above methods have been used by me with varying degrees of expense. It depends on the circumstances, risk to life and limb etc, which one I used. I did. on one occasion, put my company Ford through a hospital's double doors but that was because there was a nutter barricaded inside trying to torch the place (Barnet General since you ask ~ can't think now why I stopped him)
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PS I do have a "jemmy" but by the time I get round there with it and we talk Mrs Nick into accepting the damage it will do to the door/door frame you could buy one at your local hardware shop in the morning.
I know SWMBO wants it opened and she wants it opened NOW! but since she lost the f'ing key eveilgrin:
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I did. on one occasion, put my company Ford through a hospital's double doors but that was because there was a nutter barricaded inside trying to torch the place (Barnet General since you ask ~ can't think now why I stopped him)
;D ;D
Our postboxes, several dozen with keys like a piggy bank ::) are prone to a bit of wriggling ;) I've done it a few times, purely to help a damsel in distress you understand eyes:
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Oh Post Boxes are like filing cabinets and the MD's desk drawers .... we never bothered 'cos the cleaner used to do it and tell us what she found. whistle:
She also used to check out his wastebasket and photocopy anything she felt the staff ought to know about.
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Oh dear. It's an exterior door and the effing thing has to be opened by Thursday.
I may try a few keys when SWMBO has gone out for a bit.
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Locksmith then
Just up the road from you.
Not an emergency so will not be so expensive.
http://www.timpsonlocksmiths.co.uk/index.htm
You have three days in which to get it open FFS Tony Robinson can solve the mysteries of the ancient world in that time.
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Ta.I should point out that it is an exterior door, um, 20 feet off the ground.
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Best perhaps to let the locksmith find that out once he gets there.
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Thursday! Loads o' time. A locksmith with a spare hour, i.e. non urgent, and the french chalk trick if you can't find the key before then. Bob is your uncle, right?
Oh. And tell him to bring stilts!
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Why is nothing ever straightforward? noooo:
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Why is nothing ever straightforward? noooo:
Strange you should ask ~ some of us have been wondering that as well whistle:
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Why is nothing ever straightforward? noooo:
I should ask Uncle Mort. Prolly something about the space time continuum being curved.
I do like your latest sig. by the way ;)
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Probably a dumb question but how much effort has been put into locating the lost key? I mean has anyone (Mrs Nick for eaxmple) actually looked for it or has it been a case of "Oh dear, I can't remember where I put it ~ Nick do something"
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She has not a clue where it is.She has a head like a squirrel and a network of "safe places" into which things disappear. ON three occasions recently I have walked into the house, handed her some vital item for which she has specifically asked and within seconds it vanishes, never to be seen again cussing:
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For heaven's sake don't have sex with her. eeek:
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happy001 happy001
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Chance would be a fine thing.
Oh and Pastis
evil:
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Silly boys... ::)
Just slide a credit card (Amex I think) into the lock... that always works... whistle:
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Ta.I should point out that it is an exterior door, um, 20 feet off the ground.
Odd that rubschin:
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Thinking laterally for a moment, these are probably daft questions (then again this is planet Nick we are talking about here) but can it be opened from the inside & is there an open window you can get in through.
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It can be opened from either side (IF YOU CAN FIND THE KEY) and it's a MORTICE LOCK so the credit card trick don't work.
OK? cussing:
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Ta.I should point out that it is an exterior door, um, 20 feet off the ground.
Odd that rubschin:
Why?
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV17jAEi.jpg&hash=d996c8933b25633507592635b3352156f8ef82b6) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV17jAEi)
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More or less. Only a lot higher up than that, obviously
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And you don't find that odd?
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No. ::)
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So, once the locksmith's done his work you will open the door, step through and plummet 20 feet.
rubschin:
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One hopes not. I shal then be deploying ropes.It's a long story.
Just called the local locksmiths. £55!! cussing:
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" " eeek:
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Que?
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Speechless and surprised
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I may just contact the local burglar noooo:
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And you'll come home to find its been completely emptied point:
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A local guy is popping in later to "have a look" scared2:
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Ebro?
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No. Ebrell has a chainsaw.
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It can be opened from either side (IF YOU CAN FIND THE KEY) and it's a MORTICE LOCK so the credit card trick don't work.
OK? cussing:
Of course it works, it always works! I saw it on a movie just last night (Memento)... whistle:
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I am getting a man in. OK?
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No. Ebrell has a chainsaw.
That's the name! ~ I got close tho' whistle:
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I am getting a man in. OK?
Ebrell? point:
If nothing else the sight of him carving away at the door with a chainsaw could be enough to convince Mrs Nick to be careful of where she puts things (and to get you to make copies of your keys) whistle:
You could always read your favourite magazine while you wait:
http://www.endisnigh.co.uk/ (http://www.endisnigh.co.uk/)
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You could always read your favourite magazine while you wait:
http://www.endisnigh.co.uk/ (http://www.endisnigh.co.uk/)
I take it that nobody has a subscription to it. ;)
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We don't need the magazine Mort, we have Nick. The end of the world will be the day that he decides to go and visit CERN. whistle:
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Oddly enough.................
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scared2:
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If I can get this lock sorted out I get Brownie points which I sorely need after last night's freak accident in the kitchen
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What did you put in the microwave this time Nick? ::)
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I mishandled a cup which dropped onto Ms Nick's new all glass chopping tray thingy which then shattered into about 12 million fragments. Oddly the cup dropped onto the stone floor and survived . She was up half the night sweeping up shards of glass whistle:
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How far did the cup drop before it hit the chopping tray? They are normally far tougher than that for safety reasons.
What am I saying, it would have been weakened from exposure to Nick-o-rays. point:
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How far did the cup drop before it hit the chopping tray? They are normally far tougher than that for safety reasons.
What am I saying, it would have been weakened from exposure to Nick-o-rays. point:
About three inches!
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Normal mug or was it some heavy duty armour plated job?
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Normal of course
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1) Get your money back for the tray that shouldn't have shattered they are meant to be toughened.
2) Why do you need to open a door to nowhere?
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1) Get your money back for the tray that shouldn't have shattered they are meant to be toughened.
2) Why do you need to open a door to nowhere?
2. I do!
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Yes I know you do, but why?
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My eldest (now aged 40) once placed and I mean placed a ketchup bottle onto a glass dining table and the table top split from corner to corner causing it to then fall through the surround and shatter on the floor. Glass is funny stuff and will take all sorts of knocks then catch it in the wrong place or at the wrong temperature and it breaks.
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Which is what I tried to say to Mrs Nick.
But whip: whip: whip: whip: whip: whip: violent073: violent073: violent073: thatsit: thatsit:
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That'll be the menopause ~ causes them to lose keys and stuff too whistle:
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Yes I know you do, but why?
It involves a sofa and a spiral staircase (neither of which are mine)
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Why do you need to open a door to nowhere?
Its his secret portal to Nickdia, the land where everything doesnt explode/fall apart/break/etc whenever he touches it. Thats why its a door to nowhere... whistle:
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That'll be the menopause ~ causes them to lose keys and stuff too whistle:
She is chippy at present, but it's black armband day tomorrow noooo:
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eeek:
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Wedding anniversary noooo:
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Ahhhhh
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How many years Nick?
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Why do you need to open a door to nowhere?
Its his secret portal to Nickdia, the land where everything doesnt explode/fall apart/break/etc whenever he touches it. Thats why its a door to nowhere... whistle:
If it isn't a door to Pride and Prejudice I'm not interested.
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How many years Nick?
285
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How many years Nick?
Put it this way ~ had he had strangled her he'd have been out by now whistle:
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I have bought a gun.Just in case,like
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. . the menopause causes them to lose keys and stuff. .
Their marbles in my experience. noooo:
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Man here. £68!!
Hard werk like! eveilgrin:
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New door would have cost you £300 plus fitting plus locks, hinges etc and since it is a listed building you'd prolly have had the council round 'cos the replacement was different to the old one. Pay the man and get a spare key or two.
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Cash job. Three keys.I have 2 evil:
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Excellent happy088
Now all you have to do is pop along to your local hardware store or Tesco tomorrow and pick up one of those glass chopping board thingies and all will be sweetness and light in Chez Nick
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noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
Also
noooo:
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Don't tell me ~ It wasn't any old glass chopping board thingy was it? It was a "Special one" that some dear friend or relative had given her and it meant sooooooooooooooo much and you never liked it and the accident was deliberate and angry041: angry041: angry041: etc.
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shrugs:
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Don't tell me ~ It wasn't any old glass chopping board thingy was it? It was a "Special one" that some dear friend or relative had given her and it meant sooooooooooooooo much and you never liked it and the accident was deliberate and angry041: angry041: angry041: etc.
I KNEW you did these sorts of things on purpose! evil:
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Don't all men? whistle:
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No.
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Don't all men? whistle:
I'm just naturally clumsy... whistle:
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I didn't mean that we admit to it or are even guilty of such behaviour. What I meant, in a sarcastic way, was that as far as wimmin are concerned we are all guilty. Banghead
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I didn't mean that we admit to it or are even guilty of such behaviour. What I meant, in a sarcastic way, was that as far as wimmin are concerned we are all guilty. Banghead
Guilty...? Oh yes always... cussing:
The post box key has disappeared over the past couple of days... for some reason it will be 'in the pocket of my trousers' even though I have checked the two pair I have been wearing and it is much more likely to be in one of the thirty-seven handbags that she has on the go at any one time... Banghead
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Exactly.Mrs Nick actually bought a new handbag recently (a common occurence) but it was a SMALL one. In the editing process of transferring stuff there was so much stuff left over that I had enough for a bonfire!
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And what the f*** is a Winter Handbag?
SWMBO has recently swapped her "daily" use bag for another dredged out of her wardrobe. "Why the change of bag?" I asked when I saw her transferring tat from one to t'other (I confess I was hoping she would say that one was broken in some way giving me adequate opportunity to purchase a replacement as a Christmas Pressy).
She gave me a whithering look and said "I can't use this one, it is my summer bag, THIS however (Brandishing what looked to me like an identical receptacle) is my WINTER BAG".
I didn't even get a brownie point for noticing sad24:
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A complete mystery noooo:
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What is a winter bag? Simple Snoop, its part of the female psyche. Create any justification, no matter how slim, to purchase new/tat/shoes/handbags/clothing. whistle:
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rubschin: Would that it was so simple. On reflection this ritual is carried out twice a year but she never purchases a new bag. Handbags that she owns (and there are a fair few) have all be bought either by me or given to her by her parents/brother as Christmas/Birthday Presents. Most are never used but carefully put away. The same two bags are recycled year in, year out until one falls apart and then I buy a replacement as close as possible in looks and capacity to the one to be discarded. This has been going on since we started living together in 1986. All her bags are leather, some do see the light of day for "special occasions" when a specific and usually smaller bag is required to match a particular outfit but in the main she usess one of two huge leather bags with multiple compartments, umbrellas, mirrors etc as standard fitments and so much tat I wonder she can heft the thing.
It is imponderable.
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Well, my summer bag is straw and my winter one is oil cloth. The main two that is. There are other smaller ones but they are for speciffic outfits etc and don't fit all the needs of my everyday life.
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Well, my summer bag is straw and my winter one is oil cloth. The main two that is. There are other smaller ones but they are for speciffic outfits etc and don't fit all the needs of my everyday life.
But hers are both leather. noooo:
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Are they different colours?
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Well, my summer bag is straw and my winter one is oil cloth. The main two that is. There are other smaller ones but they are for speciffic outfits etc and don't fit all the needs of my everyday life.
Worrabout Autumn?
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We only seem, to get Winter and errrrrr Warmer Winter these days
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::)