The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 10:41:37 AM

Title: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 10:41:37 AM
 With four Saturdays to go until it's too late the list of chores is growing. I have two bedrooms to decorate (pending visit from MiL) plus the kitchen to finish, sundry other little DIY tasks (and I hate DIY) and a list of must attends and must dos, written by SWMBO. Happens every year and she never learns that the more she keeps the pressure on the less I will ultimately do. I am now going to take myself and the boys for haircuts. That should use up the rest of the morning nicely.  whistle:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 10:43:46 AM
We are spring cleaning and putting up Xmas decorations today...  evil:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 02:11:43 PM
And getting ready to drink sea water I understand from some improbably named Cypriot Minister for Water who was discussing your drought on the radio this morning.
Presumably you will have to wash/bathe in beer until the crisis is over. ;)
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 02:23:31 PM
And getting ready to drink sea water I understand from some improbably named Cypriot Minister for Water who was discussing your drought on the radio this morning.
Presumably you will have to wash/bathe in beer until the crisis is over. ;)
Luckily it is pissing down at the moment...
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 02:46:26 PM
I now have a mental vision of LL dancing round the garden, in the buff, wielding a bar of Dove Soap.
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 02:49:13 PM
Soapy tit wank, anoyone?!
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 02:52:59 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 03:08:46 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 03:22:17 PM
Was that too rude?
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 03:23:15 PM
Was that too rude?
Oh yes...  redface:

It'll be The Youngs will it?  whistle:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 03:27:50 PM
I'm only on my fifth pint, so prolly not.

I notice, however, that you have not dispelled my suggestion?
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 03:32:45 PM
I'm only on my fifth pint, so prolly not.

I notice, however, that you have not dispelled my suggestion?
whistle:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 03:34:48 PM
I suspect the bugger was there first.  ;)
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 03:40:58 PM
True. It's no wonder all his hair has fallen out if he is indugling in that sort of caper...  whistle:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on December 01, 2007, 03:50:06 PM
True. It's no wonder all his hair has fallen out if he is indugling in that sort of caper...(Insert whistle smiley)

You might not like it if you tried it! The reason for that being, if you get soap suds in your Jap's eye, it don't half sting!!
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 04:01:33 PM
True. It's no wonder all his hair has fallen out if he is indugling in that sort of caper...(Insert whistle smiley)

You might not like it if you tried it! The reason for that being, if you get soap suds in your Jap's eye, it don't half sting!!
Fairy Mild...  whistle:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 04:08:46 PM
It doesn't sting anywhere near as much as Old Spice on the old Town Halls. This I know.
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 04:13:04 PM
It doesn't sting anywhere near as much as Old Spice on the old Town Halls. This I know.
Oh yes...  noooo:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 04:15:17 PM
Barman, I have shared your pain.

Luckily, my hair didn't fall out as a result...
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on December 01, 2007, 04:22:27 PM
It doesn't sting anywhere near as much as Old Spice on the old Town Halls. This I know.

Or oil of wintergreen!!

Mind you, the worst experience of all had to be the time I forgot to double-triple wash the hands after cutting up chilli for a curry! Now that stung!
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 04:29:00 PM
It doesn't sting anywhere near as much as Old Spice on the old Town Halls. This I know.

Or oil of wintergreen!!

Mind you, the worst experience of all had to be the time I forgot to double-triple wash the hands after cutting up chilli for a curry! Now that stung!
eeek:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 04:29:17 PM
Barman, I have shared your pain.

Luckily, my hair didn't fall out as a result...
evil:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 04:45:25 PM
I have always been fond of hot foods - my local curry house has yet to provide something too hot to eat, despite the fact that some of the output actually melts the plate. When I first met Mrs TMR, we went for a curry - me taking the hottest thing they could make - and about an hour later, when we were in bed, we became a bit amourous. I "went south" (as you do) and there followed a lot of shrieking then Mrs TMR doing handstands under a cold shower...

I was laughing so much that she hit me with a TV remote control which broke in half. Ever since, I have had to change channels in the marital bedroom manually...
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 04:47:28 PM
I have always been fond of hot foods - my local curry house has yet to provide something too hot to eat, despite the fact that some of the output actually melts the plate. When I first met Mrs TMR, we went for a curry - me taking the hottest thing they could make - and about an hour later, when we were in bed, we became a bit amourous. I "went south" (as you do) and there followed a lot of shrieking then Mrs TMR doing handstands under a cold shower...

I was laughing so much that she hit me with a TV remote control which broke in half. Ever since, I have had to change channels in the marital bedroom manually...
Euphemism #975  point:

Poor you!  happy100
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Nick on December 01, 2007, 05:29:59 PM
I have always been fond of hot foods - my local curry house has yet to provide something too hot to eat, despite the fact that some of the output actually melts the plate. When I first met Mrs TMR, we went for a curry - me taking the hottest thing they could make - and about an hour later, when we were in bed, we became a bit amourous. I "went south" (as you do) and there followed a lot of shrieking then Mrs TMR doing handstands under a cold shower...

I was laughing so much that she hit me with a TV remote control which broke in half. Ever since, I have had to change channels in the marital bedroom manually...

Quite a lot of information there. Perhaps rather too much. rubschin:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 01, 2007, 05:46:18 PM
I never thought I could make a Scouser blush by the internet! Nick, don't be such a
Jessie!
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 06:49:40 PM
Mrs Snoopy #1 went horse trekking whilst we were on holiday many years ago. I went fishing on a local lake.
That evening she asked if I would nip into the village and get something to soothe her aching limbs ~ the pharmacist recommended Deep Heat. I applied same to her buttocks etc .... then, without thinking went to have a pee.  eeek:

Talk about "Doctor can you leave the swelling but take away the pain"!!!!!
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 07:06:10 PM
Mrs Snoopy #1 went horse trekking whilst we were on holiday many years ago. I went fishing on a local lake.
That evening she asked if I would nip into the village and get something to soothe her aching limbs ~ the pharmacist recommended Deep Heat. I applied same to her buttocks etc .... then, without thinking went to have a pee.  eeek:

Talk about "Doctor can you leave the swelling but take away the pain"!!!!!
point:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Nick on December 01, 2007, 07:11:21 PM
Pubic crab spray is bloody painful too, since you ask! evil:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Snoopy on December 01, 2007, 07:25:34 PM
Mrs Snoopy #1 went horse trekking whilst we were on holiday many years ago. I went fishing on a local lake.
That evening she asked if I would nip into the village and get something to soothe her aching limbs ~ the pharmacist recommended Deep Heat. I applied same to her buttocks etc .... then, without thinking went to have a pee.  eeek:

Talk about "Doctor can you leave the swelling but take away the pain"!!!!!
point:

You can laugh but you should have seen the size of it  eeek:
Mrs S#1 was so impressed she forgot her vows of chastity (AKA "This awful headache") ~ so the Deep Heat got her too  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 07:29:46 PM
Mrs Snoopy #1 went horse trekking whilst we were on holiday many years ago. I went fishing on a local lake.
That evening she asked if I would nip into the village and get something to soothe her aching limbs ~ the pharmacist recommended Deep Heat. I applied same to her buttocks etc .... then, without thinking went to have a pee.  eeek:

Talk about "Doctor can you leave the swelling but take away the pain"!!!!!
point:

You can laugh but you should have seen the size of it  eeek:
Mrs S#1 was so impressed she forgot her vows of chastity (AKA "This awful headache") ~ so the Deep Heat got her too  eveilgrin:
eeek:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Nick on December 01, 2007, 08:52:44 PM
 eeek:

Don't tell Mr Wench then.
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Pastis on December 02, 2007, 07:24:33 PM
I remember once suggesting to prospective Madame Pastis #4 that she turn over and try something different, whereupon she did and inadvertently kicked me in the face  eeek:

The black eye was hard to explain but somehow the memory lingers  eyes:
Title: Re: Four Saturdays To Go
Post by: Nick on December 02, 2007, 08:58:50 PM
You were offering her a pancake? rubschin: