The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on November 21, 2007, 04:00:02 PM

Title: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 21, 2007, 04:00:02 PM
Open window. Freezing cold with a trace of sleet.
CLose window. Try to breathe through mouth
Turn on AirCon at max: smell gets recycled

It was those beans last night!

Will he admit it?

Should we carry onions and stuff about with us, or what?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:02:02 PM
I wouldn't know. I am normally the farter and as we all know one can't smell one's own.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 21, 2007, 04:02:33 PM
You have some special immunity?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:02:52 PM
Can you smell your own farts?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 21, 2007, 04:03:13 PM
Yes. That's normal!
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:03:28 PM
Yes. That's normal!

Oh.  redface:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 21, 2007, 04:05:17 PM
Yours prolly smell of scented candles or somesuch noooo:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: tel on November 21, 2007, 04:06:16 PM
 point:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 21, 2007, 04:06:49 PM
I'm getting déjà vu again  rubschin:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 21, 2007, 04:06:55 PM
Everyone can smell their own unless they are in denial!

As for small boys ~ They delight in the whole process but they do grow out of it (some not until they are in their seventies I grant you). I have found it best to (a) Ignore them (b) adjust their diet and (c) carry a spare pair of underpants for them in the glove box .... just in case!  eeek:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 21, 2007, 04:07:18 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:08:27 PM
Yours prolly smell of scented candles or somesuch noooo:

Nope.  redface: Mr Wench says they smell like something has died in my colon and apparently girls shouldn't make smells like it.  redface:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 21, 2007, 04:09:17 PM
Mr Wench is very wise and sensible then
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:09:43 PM
Mr Wench is very wise and sensible then

Hmmmmm.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 21, 2007, 04:10:15 PM
Yours prolly smell of scented candles or somesuch noooo:

Nope.  redface: Mr Wench says they smell like something has died in my colon and apparently girls shouldn't make smells like it.  redface:

He needs to get out more.
Mrs DS #3 can make pigs run for cover. sick2:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:11:26 PM
Yours prolly smell of scented candles or somesuch noooo:

Nope.  redface: Mr Wench says they smell like something has died in my colon and apparently girls shouldn't make smells like it.  redface:

He needs to get out more.
Mrs DS #3 can make pigs run for cover. sick2:

I'll tell him that! That there are other girls that make a putrid stench.

Is #3 the current Mrs DS?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 21, 2007, 04:11:44 PM
eeek:

You know I speak true Nick ......... In their desire to "let one rip" they sometimes try a little too hard ... hence the spares in the glove box, which also contains spare panty liners for Mrs and Miss "just in case the painters arrive early"  And for me? ...... A muesli bar in case of low blood sugars. A trip in the Snoopy-mobile is an adventure all of it's own.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:12:28 PM
eeek:

You know I speak true Nick ......... In their desire to "let one rip" they sometimes try a little too hard ... hence the spares in the glove box, which also contains spare panty liners for Mrs and Miss "just in case the painters arrive early"  And for me? ...... A muesli bar in case of low blood sugars. A trip in the Snoopy-mobile is an adventure all of it's own.

Just a museli bar? No chocolate? What about beverages? What are the rules on radio/music?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 21, 2007, 04:14:55 PM
Yours prolly smell of scented candles or somesuch noooo:

Nope.  redface: Mr Wench says they smell like something has died in my colon and apparently girls shouldn't make smells like it.  redface:

He needs to get out more.
Mrs DS #3 can make pigs run for cover. sick2:

I'll tell him that! That there are other girls that make a putrid stench.

Is #3 the current Mrs DS?

As far as I know, yes.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:15:51 PM
Was just checking that the putrid stench wasn't part of making her an ex Mrs DS.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 21, 2007, 04:17:23 PM
Chocolate is not actually much good to a diabetic. In my car I choose the music and play either CDs or the radio the whole time I am driving. Mrs S does not like the radio on if she is driving and the radio in her car just doesn't work. It needs recoding after a battery change but she refuses to let me do it 'cos then I would want it on when in her car. She has adequate supplies of chocolate in her glove box, next to her spare inhaler as she is asthmatic.
Drinks are only consumed when stationary and preferably outside of my car so are carried only in the boot.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:18:23 PM
Hmmmm. I think the snoopy mobile sounds too like a facist state for my liking. If I can't drink my wildy over priced coffee in the car then I'm not interested.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 21, 2007, 04:19:56 PM
Hmmmm. I think the snoopy mobile sounds too like a facist state for my liking. If I can't drink my wildy over priced coffee in the car then I'm not interested.

They are 14, 9 and 6 ~ do you think I am letting them loose with fizzy drinks in the back of my car?  noooo:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:20:35 PM
What about water on a hot day?

Can't the 14 year old drink over priced coffee in the car?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 21, 2007, 04:33:58 PM
What about water on a hot day?

Can't the 14 year old drink over priced coffee in the car?

Me Me Me ~ that's the trouble with you wimmin.  evil:
What about my good reason to stop at a pub?

You cannot buy over priced coffee in North Wales ~ it hasn't reached here yet and by the time it does she'll have her own car to drink it in.

Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 21, 2007, 04:34:36 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Ffart002.gif&hash=a290a89b1eebcf0b56e299e442b3fac73d1d0658)


Meanwhile back on topic.
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 21, 2007, 04:37:48 PM
What about water on a hot day?

Can't the 14 year old drink over priced coffee in the car?

Me Me Me ~ that's the trouble with you wimmin.  evil:
What about my good reason to stop at a pub?

You cannot buy over priced coffee in North Wales ~ it hasn't reached here yet and by the time it does she'll have her own car to drink it in.



You say that but I'm 28 and still don't have my own car to drink over priced coffee in.
Why can't you drink in the car and stop at the pub?
What if it is a really hot day and dehydration is an issue?
Is this really so that you don't have to keep stopping for "pit stops"?

Are you telling me that *$ hasn't made it to Wales yet?  eeek:
Is this another reason I should be adding to my don't go there list?  eeek:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 21, 2007, 04:55:30 PM
What about water on a hot day?

Can't the 14 year old drink over priced coffee in the car?

Me Me Me ~ that's the trouble with you wimmin.  evil:
What about my good reason to stop at a pub?

You cannot buy over priced coffee in North Wales ~ it hasn't reached here yet and by the time it does she'll have her own car to drink it in.



You say that but I'm 28 and still don't have my own car to drink over priced coffee in.
Why can't you drink in the car and stop at the pub?
What if it is a really hot day and dehydration is an issue?
Is this really so that you don't have to keep stopping for "pit stops"?

Are you telling me that *$ hasn't made it to Wales yet?  eeek:
Is this another reason I should be adding to my don't go there list?  eeek:

If we are talking Starbucks et al ~ the nearest is in Chester I understand. The nearest "Costa Coffee" is on the M56 on route to Manchester and well inside England. It'll take another 14 years for them to catch up this side of the border ~ not enough of a customer base you see. Different down in Cardiff ~ they think they are a metropolis.

FFS Rhyl has only just (last month) got a Pizza Hut but McDonalds we can do you.  ::)

We do have a "National Milk Bar" in Rhyl that has an old fashioned expresso "frothy coffee" machine.

Dehydration is not an issue ... when did it ever get that hot in Wales? We go out in the car, we stop for toilets and have drinks. The more they drink the more often we have to stop for toilets. Pubs have toilets. They get a coke and a pee & I get a pint. Nice little afternoon out. Anyway she is 14 ~ when did any 14 year old want to go out with their father unless it is to spend his money on things they don't actually want her to have?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Barman on November 21, 2007, 06:49:48 PM
 whistle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPaXQY6L0ko
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 22, 2007, 10:41:11 AM
You are getting predictable in your old age BM   ;)
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Barman on November 22, 2007, 04:39:52 PM
You are getting predictable in your old age BM   ;)
redface:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Shy Talk on November 23, 2007, 05:48:40 PM
Yours prolly smell of scented candles or somesuch noooo:

Nope.  redface: Mr Wench says they smell like something has died in my colon and apparently girls shouldn't make smells like it.  redface:

Very manly of you wench. Do you have facial hair also ??
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Barman on November 23, 2007, 06:00:28 PM
Yours prolly smell of scented candles or somesuch noooo:

Nope.  redface: Mr Wench says they smell like something has died in my colon and apparently girls shouldn't make smells like it.  redface:

Very manly of you wench. Do you have facial hair also ??
See the shaving, plucking, waxing thread...  whistle:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 26, 2007, 10:11:55 AM
Did stupendous fart in the car last night!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2007, 10:14:42 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Snoopy on November 26, 2007, 10:16:41 AM
Did stupendous fart in the car last night!  cloud9:

Not big and not clever ~ and don't try blaming the dog  evil:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Bar Wench on November 26, 2007, 10:21:02 AM
 redface:
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Barman on November 26, 2007, 01:49:24 PM
Did stupendous fart in the car last night!  cloud9:
Did he make you get out and get in the caravan?
Title: Re: Small boys who fart in the car
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2007, 01:52:03 PM
The Micra prolly has corrosion problems now noooo: