The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Barman on October 23, 2007, 07:22:23 AM
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The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.
After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.
With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"
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tunble:
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The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.
After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.
With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"
happy001
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The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.
After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.
With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"
AFFs noooo:
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. . .
AFFs noooo:
noooo:
Scoring zero on the AFFSometer here
update
BM scoring zero on the jokeometer here
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The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.
"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.
After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.
Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".
Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.
With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"
happy001 happy002
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Boogs is windicated
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Boogs is windicated
:thumbsup:
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It was a great joke like.... cloud9:
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Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?
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Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?
lol: lol: lol:
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Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?
It was 2007! cussing:
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Was it so good that anyone with half a brain would remember they'd posted it before?
It was 2007! cussing:
You kept that from 2007 noooo: noooo:
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No... I posted it in 2007 and Nick replied yesterday... ::)
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Just catching up, like :thumbsup:
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Just catching up, like :thumbsup:
I expect you were pretending I wasn't here at the time.... oh how I larfed... ::)
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So are we saying it was only posted once, wasn't an Affs, Nick is slower than we ever thought, Boogs isn't windicated, I have my foot in my mouth yet again etc etc then?
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So are we saying it was only posted once, wasn't an Affs, Nick is slower than we ever thought, Boogs isn't windicated, I have my foot in my mouth yet again etc etc then?
ummm.... yes...
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So are we saying it was only posted once, wasn't an Affs, Nick is slower than we ever thought, Boogs isn't windicated, I have my foot in my mouth yet again etc etc then?
ummm.... yes...
I blame reply 5
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I knew it would be my fault.... evil:
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that's not playing the game. You have to find someone else to blame
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I'm sure that the enevitable enquiry will apportion blame, it will be nobodies fault; and going forward whistle: lessons will be learnt to ensure that it never happens again... well, until the next time
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or even better, blame it on Grimsbottom. It is his lot in life
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It may or may not be my fault ... I don't know I am just confumistmicated aahhhhh shocked003
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No Boogs, blame Grimsbottom
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No Boogs, blame Grimsbottom
Ok it was Grimsbottom shrugs:
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A judgement then
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A judgement then
:thumbsup:
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Can I just ask how much they charge at Little Bickering's Nursing Retreat for tired posters? lol:
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Can I just ask how much they charge at Little Bickering's Nursing Retreat for tired posters? lol:
Not enough... noooo:
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Good I may get in then. lol:
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Good I may get in then. lol:
happy100
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cloud9:
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I am the Chaplain angel1
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I am the Chaplain angel1
Propper Charlie you say? rubschin:
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I am the Chaplain angel1
Propper Charlie you say? rubschin:
happy001
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I am the Chaplain angel1
Propper Charlie you say? rubschin:
drumroll: happy001
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I shall take care of Tipsy's moral welfare angel1 It's a big job.
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I am the Chaplain angel1
Propper Charlie you say? rubschin:
happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001
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I shall take care of Tipsy's moral welfare angel1 It's a big job.
Big morals eh...? eyes: