The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 03:53:38 PM

Title: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 03:53:38 PM
My next-door-but-one neighbour died last Friday...

I am to be an Pallbearer at his funeral on Monday!  eeek:

It is something I have always dreaded doing - I'm bound to fall in the fecking hole!  scared2:

Any tips...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: apc2010 on January 13, 2015, 03:56:21 PM
It;s being in the box, that I have always dreaded.......
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 03:59:50 PM
It;s being in the box, that I have always dreaded.......

Oh noes, I'm not bothered about that - I won't be bothered about anything if I am in the box....

...unless I am not dead like!  scared2:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Nick on January 13, 2015, 04:30:48 PM
Don't drop your corner and let the whole coffin smash on the ground and the body fall out :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 04:34:10 PM
Don't drop your corner and let the whole coffin smash on the ground and the body fall out :thumbsup:

 scared2:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: apc2010 on January 13, 2015, 04:35:12 PM
Don't drop your corner and let the whole coffin smash on the ground and the body fall out :thumbsup:

 scared2:

Hot glue gun........... Thumbs: 
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 13, 2015, 05:21:03 PM
My next-door-but-one neighbour died last Friday...

I am to be an Pallbearer at his funeral on Monday!  eeek:

It is something I have always dreaded doing - I'm bound to fall in the fecking hole!  scared2:

Any tips...?  rubschin:

Go for the end with the feet.
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Nick on January 13, 2015, 05:35:27 PM
Sound advice :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 05:39:32 PM
My next-door-but-one neighbour died last Friday...

I am to be an Pallbearer at his funeral on Monday!  eeek:

It is something I have always dreaded doing - I'm bound to fall in the fecking hole!  scared2:

Any tips...?  rubschin:

Go for the end with the feet.

Sage werds!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Nick on January 13, 2015, 05:52:02 PM
That is the narrow end, btw.  ::)
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 05:52:37 PM
That is the narrow end, btw.  ::)

Thanks!  redface:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Nick on January 13, 2015, 05:54:15 PM
Unless he was triangular with a small head, like rubschin:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 06:47:27 PM
Unless he was triangular with a small head, like rubschin:

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: apc2010 on January 13, 2015, 07:01:02 PM
How much can the quadcoptor lift........ rubschin:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 07:09:40 PM
How much can the quadcoptor lift........ rubschin:

The hexacopter you mean....? ::)
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: apc2010 on January 13, 2015, 07:10:48 PM
How much can the quadcoptor lift........ rubschin:

The exacopter you mean....? ::)

 noooo:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2015, 07:12:44 PM
How much can the quadcoptor lift........ rubschin:

The exacopter you mean....? ::)

 noooo:

 evil:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Steve on January 16, 2015, 10:28:58 AM
Spose nobody will be a pallbearer at quadcopter's funeral, prolly get buried at sea


Did it go alright? 
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 16, 2015, 10:52:09 AM
Spose nobody will be a pallbearer at quadcopter's funeral, prolly get buried at sea


Did it go alright?

Ummmmm....  redface:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Nick on January 16, 2015, 11:00:59 AM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Steve on January 16, 2015, 12:18:18 PM
Spose nobody will be a pallbearer at quadcopter's funeral, prolly get buried at sea


Did it go alright?

Ummmmm....  redface:
You broke a handle off the coffin?
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 16, 2015, 12:24:07 PM
Spose nobody will be a pallbearer at quadcopter's funeral, prolly get buried at sea


Did it go alright?

Ummmmm....  redface:
You broke a handle off the coffin?

Ended up in the pool more likely
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Baldy on January 16, 2015, 10:01:00 PM
Spose nobody will be a pallbearer at quadcopter's funeral, prolly get buried at sea


Did it go alright?

Ummmmm....  redface:
You broke a handle off the coffin?

Ended up in the pool more likely

 lol:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2015, 02:47:24 PM
I didn't fall down the hole! Party001:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: apc2010 on January 19, 2015, 04:56:01 PM
I didn't fall down the hole! Party001:

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2015, 05:02:23 PM
I didn't fall down the hole! Party001:

 Thumbs:

It was ghastly....  noooo:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: apc2010 on January 19, 2015, 05:06:22 PM
I didn't fall down the hole! Party001:

 Thumbs:

It was ghastly....  noooo:


No booze...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2015, 05:06:46 PM
I didn't fall down the hole! Party001:

 Thumbs:

It was ghastly....  noooo:


No booze...... rubschin:

Afters!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Steve on January 19, 2015, 06:17:18 PM
Popcorn:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2015, 07:13:12 PM
Popcorn:

He was put in the same hole as his wife....

...so the grave already had a concrete surround and headstone....

The hole was plenty big enough but the entrance was too short - the only was we could get him in (I had the feet - good tip Mr. Darwin Sir) was to tip him up 45 degrees and lower him feet first...

It was during the prayers that I realised I didn't have enough rope on my side - it was all on the other side... so as soon as they finished I had to pull another few feet over - otherwise i may well have ended up in the hole with them both....

Overall, it was mercifully quick.....

Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Steve on January 19, 2015, 07:52:20 PM
Popcorn:

He was put in the same hole as his wife....

...so the grave already had a concrete surround and headstone....

The hole was plenty big enough but the entrance was too short - the only was we could get him in (I had the feet - good tip Mr. Darwin Sir) was to tip him up 45 degrees and lower him feet first...

It was during the prayers that I realised I didn't have enough rope on my side - it was all on the other side... so as soon as they finished I had to pull another few feet over - otherwise i may well have ended up in the hole with them both....

Overall, it was mercifully quick.....
lol:  :thumbsup:

Top tip:  next time get Paul Daniels to cut the coffin in half for you
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: apc2010 on January 19, 2015, 07:54:00 PM
Popcorn:

He was put in the same hole as his wife....

...so the grave already had a concrete surround and headstone....

The hole was plenty big enough but the entrance was too short - the only was we could get him in (I had the feet - good tip Mr. Darwin Sir) was to tip him up 45 degrees and lower him feet first...

It was during the prayers that I realised I didn't have enough rope on my side - it was all on the other side... so as soon as they finished I had to pull another few feet over - otherwise i may well have ended up in the hole with them both....

Overall, it was mercifully quick.....

There is a joke there ...I won't make....... redface:
Title: Re: Pallbearer
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2015, 08:26:32 PM
Popcorn:

He was put in the same hole as his wife....

...so the grave already had a concrete surround and headstone....

The hole was plenty big enough but the entrance was too short - the only was we could get him in (I had the feet - good tip Mr. Darwin Sir) was to tip him up 45 degrees and lower him feet first...

It was during the prayers that I realised I didn't have enough rope on my side - it was all on the other side... so as soon as they finished I had to pull another few feet over - otherwise i may well have ended up in the hole with them both....

Overall, it was mercifully quick.....
lol:  :thumbsup:

Top tip:  next time get Paul Daniels to cut the coffin in half for you

 rubschin: