Doh!!!!

[Grumpmeister]

So you are going to try rain magic? You mean that with all this weather we've had of late Homer hasnt been washed away? Surely that says something about your abilities 
I have to ask though, how can people believe that a massive chalk drawing os a man will help fertility?

Pagans have pledged to perform "rain magic" to wash away a cartoon character painted next to their famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant.
A doughnut-brandishing Homer Simpson was painted next to the giant on the hill above Cerne Abbas, Dorset, to promote the new Simpsons film.

Many believe the ancient chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused giant to be a symbol of ancient spirituality.

Many couples also believe the 180ft carving aids fertility.

The painted Simpsons character has been painted with water-based biodegradable paint which will wash away as soon as it rains.

Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: "We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind.

"We'll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away."

She added: "I'm amazed they got permission to do something so ridiculous. It's an area of scientific interest."

'Different and unusual'

It is not the first time the giant has been used to advertise products. He has been used to promote items as diverse as condoms, jeans and bicycles.

Mike Webb, landlord of the New Inn in Cerne Abbas, said his staff were amused by the temporary addition to the village.

"I think it is different and unusual," he said. "We've not heard any complaints here so far, but I'm not sure many of the local people will know who Homer Simpson is."

During World War II, the Cerne giant was disguised to prevent the Germans from using him as an aerial landmark.

Since then he has always been visible, receiving regular grass trimming and a full re-chalking every 25 years.

There is debate among experts about when the giant was created varying from thousands of years ago to as recently as the 17th Century.

[Snoopy]

It's a good legend that says a childless woman should climb the hill at a certain phase of the moon/season and spend the night on the tip of the giant's erection. Most people I know from that part of the world agree that many of the ladies/girls that have tried it through the years have indeed conceived ~ which says much for the power of suggestion and the willingness of the village lads to climb the hill for a bit of nooky. 
Country people aren't so daft you know ... we just like to earn the odd free pint from the townies!

[Bar Wench]

Also says a lot about the desperation of some people to have a child.

[Snoopy]

Also says a lot about the desperation of some people to have a child.

It stems from times when the inability to have a child was ALWAYS the fault of the female. Men would/could not accept that they could in anyway be unable to impregnate a female. Absolute bollox I agree but then we live in more enlightened times.
But it remains a good tale and many a pint has been bought by the townies when a local has told them that he is only here by the grace of the Giant on the Hill and his mum's "lonely" night "Up there".

The Yanks are the best ~ but then they'd believe anything (as a certain Bill Clinton well knows). I was conceived and born in North Hampshire (bloody miles away ~ closer to your place in fact) but have a strong(ish) west country accent when I want to and even I have managed to con the odd pint or two of Badgers Best when in the local near the hill.

[Grumpmeister]

A couple of years ago an oil rig had been towed into Falmouth harbour for maintenance, it was during the middle of the tourist season and I was asked by a load of americans why it was there. With a completely straight face I told them that a huge oil deposit had been found under the harbour and that Shell were drilling it. I didnt even have time to finish the sentence before 3 of them were ringing their brokers telling them to buy shares in the company.. 

Needless to say I made a very sharp exit 

[Nick]

A couple of years ago an oil rig had been towed into Falmouth harbour for maintenance, it was during the middle of the tourist season and I was asked by a load of americans why it was there. With a completely straight face I told them that a huge oil deposit had been found under the harbour and that Shell were drilling it. I didnt even have time to finish the sentence before 3 of them were ringing their brokers telling them to buy shares in the company.. 

Needless to say I made a very sharp exit 

Excellent work.

[Misunderstood]

This strange tower-sort-of-thing has appeared in my garden overnight...

Should I be worried? 

[Nick]

Buy shares!

[Misunderstood]

Buy shares!

[Snoopy]

Buy shares!

This morning's post contained an invitation to buy shares in a new float that is about to happen. The new company, coming onto the stock market is called, "Smart Implant Holdings PLC" and their blurb tells me that they are "A revolutionary new breast implant business capable of capturing a significant share of a market worth approximately $650 million and growing by 12-15% per year"

I really must tell my broker to stop sending me this shite!

I never realised that there was that much money in implanted tits!

[Nick]

There is always money in tits (or so I am told)

[Misunderstood]

Buy shares!

This morning's post contained an invitation to buy shares in a new float that is about to happen. The new company, coming onto the stock market is called, "Smart Implant Holdings PLC" and their blurb tells me that they are "A revolutionary new breast implant business capable of capturing a significant share of a market worth approximately $650 million and growing by 12-15% per year"

I really must tell my broker to stop sending me this shite!

I never realised that there was that much money in implanted tits!

Step back and be aware that your broker is only trying to keep you abreast (or two) of the situation.   

[Nick]

 

[Snoopy]