Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 387994 times)

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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #795 on: June 14, 2011, 09:57:18 PM »
Neither can I ~ It had vanished within 48 hours of being posted when I tried to show the kids ...i.e. before the upgrade.

Perhaps JOM could find it again.

Go on... blame me...  ::)

Ahem! ^^^^^^^^

I got the same result as you guys. I shall look later
Here you go

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redface: I think not.
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Online Barman

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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #797 on: June 15, 2011, 03:30:09 PM »
Warning: May contain Skub
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #798 on: June 15, 2011, 05:09:28 PM »
I saw that on TV this morning, as Adrian Chiles said, Cameron and Clegg looked like two schoolboys caught with their hands in the cookie jar, they were lost for words once offscript

I loved the spineless grey suit (administrator prolly) by the door, he didn't know what to say either  point:

Top marks for that Orthapaedic surgeon
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #799 on: June 15, 2011, 07:51:03 PM »
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #800 on: June 15, 2011, 11:57:06 PM »
"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!"

"But... But it can't be... We buried you..."

"Yeah, I'm just fucking about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key."

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #801 on: June 15, 2011, 11:59:14 PM »
I don't tell racist jokes as my best mate is black.


The cunt stole my joke book.  redface:

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #802 on: June 16, 2011, 12:02:15 AM »
I used to love growing up with a dyslexic father.

Whenever I swore, he'd wash my mouth out with soup.

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #803 on: June 16, 2011, 05:10:21 AM »
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

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Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #804 on: June 16, 2011, 05:10:52 AM »
"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!"

"But... But it can't be... We buried you..."

"Yeah, I'm just fucking about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key."

happy002
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #805 on: June 16, 2011, 09:49:48 PM »
A copper stopped a drunkem man at 2am and asked him where he was going, he replied 'I am going to attend a lecture on the evils of drink, the subsequent consequences on relationships and long term health'

The copper asked him 'who the hell is giving such lectures at the this time of the night'

The drunk replied 'the f'ckin wife'
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Pirate

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #806 on: June 16, 2011, 10:26:31 PM »
A copper stopped a drunkem man at 2am and asked him where he was going, he replied 'I am going to attend a lecture on the evils of drink, the subsequent consequences on relationships and long term health'

The copper asked him 'who the hell is giving such lectures at the this time of the night'

The drunk replied 'the f'ckin wife'

Been there...done that...

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #807 on: June 16, 2011, 10:27:51 PM »
A copper stopped a drunkem man at 2am and asked him where he was going, he replied 'I am going to attend a lecture on the evils of drink, the subsequent consequences on relationships and long term health'

The copper asked him 'who the hell is giving such lectures at the this time of the night'

The drunk replied 'the f'ckin wife'

Been there...done that...
How did he react?
I mostly despair

Offline Pirate

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #808 on: June 16, 2011, 10:40:33 PM »
he was not impressed...

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #809 on: June 21, 2011, 12:25:07 PM »
Little Billy was upstairs watching TV in his bedroom. He comes downstairs and said to his dad, "what's love juice?" His dad looks horrified, but tells Billy all about sex and why a woman gets "wet". Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement
Dad asks, "so, WTF were you watching?"
Billy replied, "Wimbledon"






and I know you can't get that score in tennis
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie