Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

The wife was so worried the mechanic would rip her off because she's a woman.

Imagine her relief when he said she only needed indicator fluid.

 

[Steve]

The wife was so worried the mechanic would rip her off because she's a woman.

Imagine her relief when he said she only needed indicator fluid.

 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/E6GsXhBb10k" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[apc2010]

The wife was so worried the mechanic would rip her off because she's a woman.

Imagine her relief when he said she only needed indicator fluid.

 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/E6GsXhBb10k" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[Steve]

Dad’s first drink with his son.
I took my son out for his first pint.
Off we went to our local pub only a couple of miles from the cottage.

I got him a Guinness, he didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it. I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's, nope!

In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest. He wouldn't even smell it.
What could I do but drink it!
By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so bloody drunk I could hardly push his pram back home.

[Barman]

Dad’s first drink with his son.
I took my son out for his first pint.
Off we went to our local pub only a couple of miles from the cottage.

I got him a Guinness, he didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it. I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's, nope!

In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest. He wouldn't even smell it.
What could I do but drink it!
By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so bloody drunk I could hardly push his pram back home.

 

[Barman]

Riotous BLM Protesters Suddenly Realise They're All White People

CHARLESTON, SC—A Black Lives Matter protest in South Carolina started to get out of hand, with people screaming at police officers stationed nearby. It threatened to get violent until the protestors paused after noticing they were all white.

“We will not let your system oppress us!” shouted one protestor, to which a black officer responded, “What do you mean by ‘we’?” The protestor said he meant people of color, but it was at that time that he took inventory of the protestors behind him and was unable to find anyone other than white people.

The protestors insisted they had some black people with them earlier, but it appeared that they had all left when the protest started to get out of hand. “It’s possible they had jobs,” suggested one protestor.

Though initially shaken by the lack of black lives in their Black Lives Matter protest, the protestors soon got back to throwing things and screaming at police officers in their attempt to battle racism. “We still need to fight for black lives,” said one protestor, “even if they want nothing to do with us.”

The group has taken out a want ad hoping to hire a few black people to join their next event.

[Steve]

Problem is some will believe that's a true story and not a joke from a joke site
 
Oh shit they already have:  https://www.worldtribune.com/we-blm-protesters-have-a-white-bread-moment-pledge-to-hire-blacks/   

[Steve]

My wife says I'm immature and we should set aside a day so that we can talk...
Like that's gonna happen with the start of conker season !!!!!!

[apc2010]

Believe it or not Cliff Richard dated tennis star Sue Barker in 1980.......




That year she remained unseeded...................

[Steve]

Believe it or not Cliff Richard dated tennis star Sue Barker in 1980.......




That year she remained unseeded...................

[Just One More]

Believe it or not Cliff Richard dated tennis star Sue Barker in 1980.......




That year she remained unseeded...................

 

[Barman]

Believe it or not Cliff Richard dated tennis star Sue Barker in 1980.......




That year she remained unseeded...................

 

[Darwins Selection]

Believe it or not Cliff Richard dated tennis star Sue Barker in 1980.......




That year she remained unseeded...................

 

[Steve]

Just walking through the shopping centre in Weston and a guy from npower come upto me and asked where do I get my energy from.
 I said "3 pints of John Smith normally does it"

[Steve]

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE.

Schrodinger's Cat.