Days 10-12
This is a fiasco.
So first, right, BM proposes a cocktail party. Fancy dress!! WTF have I got with me? LL explains that he simply wants to show off his Tarzan costume
and that we can ignore the rest. He tries to make cocktails. Mess. Big mess. She sends him out shopping and gets on the phone. The gerls arrive with nice food and stuff and tons of wine, like, and we get stuck in.
Baldy gets back and gets all cross and then disappears to get dressed up, or whatever, and then reappears sort of yodelling with a big piece of rope. What the F is that about.
We all ingore him as he shows of his front crawl (
) in the pool, like.
Get pissed and go to bed.
Next morning
What a mess. BM passed out on the patio (LL left him there) and pool full of goats again. LL, pissed off. switches on the Breadmaker and drops it in the pool. Dead goats!! Result!
Dead breadmaker too!! Better result. LL says she learnt the trick from one of BM's many Bond films
She says if he had been in there whe would not have hesitated, since the wills are all done, like
BM revives, has chilli sauce inserted and is sent off, again, with dead goats, to Kebabs'R'Us for the day. Told to get cash not barter or lucky beans and suchlike.
LL and I clean pool and have nice swim with some collapso for refreshment.
Get pissed and break the 'cinema' (by accident, like)
Day 12 now (I think)
BM did not dare come back but stayed with 'friends' and went on to do some werk.
LL gets call. 'NOt again!!!!!'
He fell off the roof.
She thinks it's attention seeking and just said, 'Put him in plaster!! Allover, if necessary.'
Later BM is delivered on a flat bed truck. He looks like a mummy. All plaster with one tube in and one tube out. LL is told to swop them every 6 hours.
We paint some pics on his plaster,like. In pink. BM squeaks, so we know he is alive.
