Sooo...
Despite references to "Jaffa", "Seedless Red Grapes" and "a chop" in the Restuarant thread, no-one seemed to spot, or perhaps comment on a trend, not even DS (shame on you

)
Today, at 2.30 I had "the snip".
Firstly, the minor details - a private hospital in Brixton (

) and I was out within an hour. I had to laugh at the music being played, "The first cut is the deepest" and the biscuits they gave me with the tea afterwards, Ginger Nuts

Once a room big enough for me to unleash the wedding vegetables was found, the whole procedure took less than 20 minutes. Local anaesthetic is the order of the day, with a certain "slash and burn" methodology. Not painful. Twenty minutes later, after tea and biscuits, the doctor re-examined the area, declared the bleeding to be "within acceptable" limits and then I was out, Mrs TMR (to be) insisting on driving my super comfy Lexus home, or rather to the pub. Despite some road rage on her part (language to make a docker blush) we arrived and I got quickly out of the car. Holy moly, the pain hit a somewhat. Even 3 pints of Young's failed to help much.
Now the gentleman's vegetables seem to have retreated in fear and are making their way towards my stomach. Two hours ago, I was walking like John Wayne, now I am walking like a chimpanzee. Mrs TMR (to be) is in fits of laughter and keeps throwing the "it can't be as painful as childbirth" line at me.
Red wine is being consumed as a painkiller, Nurofen is an option later.
All nuts/knob jokes welcomed, are there any of you out there that have had the same thing and if so, what do the next few days hold in store?
And no, Wenchy, I will not be posting photos...