automated phone systems

[Uncle Mort]

Issued with laptops to do roll-call?   Jesus wept!   Now I see where the Education Budget is going. 

  Mr Wench hasn't done any official school work on the provided laptop for three weeks. I have done plenty surfing though. 

Is there not any feelings of guilt from either of you?

And Nick, if they put the Receptionist as the first option nobody would bother waiting to hear any others.

[Bar Wench]

I have guilt. Hence the >   
Mr Wench has done school work just not on the laptop.

Nick, reception probably automated the system of course they are going to put themselves last.

[Nick]

I have guilt. Hence the >   
Mr Wench has done school work just not on the laptop.

Nick, reception probably automated the system of course they are going to put themselves last.

Of course they did, now I press "0" before the messages start. VICTORY IS MINE. I can talk to numpties quicker!!

[Grumpmeister]

Are you sure its a genuine IVR and not a Nick detection system?   

[Barman]

I remember there used to be a website that listed the ?secret? codes to type-in that would get you through the automated ?phone systems of all the top companies.

I can?t remember what it was though ? but of a waste of time posting this really?   

[Snoopy]

The largest non governmental company in the world.

WOOOooooo! The Catholic Church!

If you are in Sales then you must be a Priest, or maybe a Bishop.

No I am not going to tell you but it wasn't Pinkertons or Wells Fargo (yes they are both still going as Security Companies) Nor was it Group 4 (washes mouth out with soap) Securicor or Reliance. Think BIG! 400,000 employees worldwide. 6,000 of them in London alone and only one ME!

[Nick]

Are you sure its a genuine IVR and not a Nick detection system?   

 

[Darwins Selection]

The largest non governmental company in the world.

Think BIG! 400,000 employees worldwide. 6,000 of them in London alone and only one ME!

Macdonalds, Burger King, Cosa Nostra?

[Grumpmeister]

Think BIG! 400,000 employees worldwide. 6,000 of them in London alone and only one ME!

Bloody hell, our Snoopy is a Scientologist 

[Snoopy]

Think of a major international company that was told by the Aussies and the Yanks that the name we used worldwide for a variety of businesses within the group was not considered suitable for the provision of security services. the name had been used in the UK since they had bought out the company I worked for. They grew to predominance by acquisition and when the Yanks and 'Strines said the name was not a good idea they changed it.







Hey this is a good quiz 

[Nick]

Rent a kill!

I used them. Never worked for me. Mrs NIck is still alive!

[Snoopy]

Give that man a cigar.
Rentokil it was.

[Nick]

I cheated!

[Barman]

Shithouse Security?  

[Barman]

Bugger - too slow today.... I was on the 'phone.