Four Saturdays To Go

[Barman]

Mrs Snoopy #1 went horse trekking whilst we were on holiday many years ago. I went fishing on a local lake.
That evening she asked if I would nip into the village and get something to soothe her aching limbs ~ the pharmacist recommended Deep Heat. I applied same to her buttocks etc .... then, without thinking went to have a pee. 

Talk about "Doctor can you leave the swelling but take away the pain"!!!!!

You can laugh but you should have seen the size of it 
Mrs S#1 was so impressed she forgot her vows of chastity (AKA "This awful headache") ~ so the Deep Heat got her too 

[Nick]

 

Don't tell Mr Wench then.

[Pastis]

I remember once suggesting to prospective Madame Pastis #4 that she turn over and try something different, whereupon she did and inadvertently kicked me in the face 

The black eye was hard to explain but somehow the memory lingers 

[Nick]

You were offering her a pancake?