Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2026 lock-keeping adventures thread

[Barman]

Busy day. No disasters 

 

[Nick]

But have had to write a comprehensive report for my boss in case the boater tries to claim for damage or injuries.

She’s a brilliant but formidable retired police Inspector so it has to be meticulous 

She knows I did all the right things  angel1but the lock keeper at the previous lock who forgot to warn the boater is dead meat 

[Grumpmeister]

Busy day. No disasters 

Isn't that one of the portents of the Apocalypse?? 

[Nick]

Back at Mr TrickyLock on Wednesday 

[Steve]

But have had to write a comprehensive report for my boss in case the boater tries to claim for damage or injuries.

She’s a brilliant but formidable retired police Inspector so it has to be meticulous 

She knows I did all the right things  angel1but the lock keeper at the previous lock who forgot to warn the boater is dead meat 

Miss Whiplash you say 

[Barman]

But have had to write a comprehensive report for my boss in case the boater tries to claim for damage or injuries.

She’s a brilliant but formidable retired police Inspector so it has to be meticulous 

She knows I did all the right things  angel1but the lock keeper at the previous lock who forgot to warn the boater is dead meat 

Miss Whiplash you say 

 


Poor Nick... 

[Nick]

Unaccountably I omitted to mention one of the more confusing features of this incident which became a problem when I wrote up my report.

When I went down to talk to the stranded boater the owner of the old lock cottage was already there. His name is Nick.

I talked to the boater and gave him my lock phone number. He said his name was…Nick…

A little later another boater offered assistance. Weirdly his name was…Nick 

[Steve]

What's the name for a group of Nicks?   Crows have their murders, Apes their shrewnesses, Locusts their plagues  . . .

[Nick]

I guess the Meister may have an idea…

[Grumpmeister]

I guess the Meister may have an idea…

I don't have enough alcohol to even consider the possibility 

[Steve]

I guess the Meister may have an idea…

An asylum of Nicks?