Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2026 lock-keeping adventures thread

[Barman]

First of the year

 

[Steve]

First of the year

 

[Nick]

The river has reopened 

National Watersports centre tomorrow

[Barman]

The river has reopened 

National Watersports centre tomorrow

 

[Nick]

Only 2 boats all day 

[Barman]

Only 2 boats all day 

Did they collide? 

[Nick]

One was a nutter. Never been on a narrow boat and never been through a lock. He bought a narrow boat in Newark and was taking it to London 

He appeared to be regretting it

[apc2010]

One was a nutter. Never been on a narrow boat and never been through a lock. He bought a narrow boat in Newark and was taking it to London 

He appeared to be regretting it

Well if you are going to start boating a “narrow” one is a good place to start …?

[Grumpmeister]

One was a nutter. Never been on a narrow boat and never been through a lock. He bought a narrow boat in Newark and was taking it to London 

He appeared to be regretting it

To be fair buying the boat and transporting it to moor in London is probably going to work out cheaper than trying to rent there. 

[apc2010]

Plus boat home pissed from boozer ….     When my father lived in Richmond there was a pub on the river where all these old boys drank then boated home … ; …they were real characters …  

[Nick]

Someone lost this and the bastard refuses to leave the lock

[Steve]

   well that butt plug must have cost him ££££

[Barman]

Someone lost this and the bastard refuses to leave the lock

Couldn't one of the boats grab it for you...? 

[Nick]

There is a picture of one trying to do that 

[Nick]

Someone has abandoned 2 peacocks at Lonely Widow Island