Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2025 lock-keeping adventures thread

[Barman]

Hectic boating day at national waterspouts centre 

Did you get your twin brother to help out?
 

 

[Nick]

Liaising with the Plod

[Steve]

Liaising with the Plod

[Barman]

Liaising with the Plod

Did you push him in? 

[Nick]

It got more exciting this afternoon. Details when I have recovered

[Nick]

So this lock is popular with swimmers because of its location. They make a mess, abuse boaters, use drugs and shit everywhere. Drives the locals, the boaters and the Watersports Centre nuts.

It is a well known and persistent problem. The Plod came for a visit from 11.15 to 1.00. No problems . They have a Dispersal Order they can use if it gets bad. They give me a number to call and leave.

By about 2.30 there were about 200+ kids swimming

2.45 the radio chirps up. This is cruiser Metal Pirate. We are Hell’s Angels. We are sick of these swimmers and we are taking action now! We have baseball bats.

I call my boss. She is an ex plod inspector. She says call 999. I do.

6 cars, a van, dogs and a helicopter!!!

Metal Pirate turned back shadowed by helicopter. Police execute Dispersal Order and teenagers get mouthy. Several arrests

I leave 

[Steve]

So this lock is popular with swimmers because of its location. They make a mess, abuse boaters, use drugs and shit everywhere. Drives the locals, the boaters and the Watersports Centre nuts.

It is a well known and persistent problem. The Plod came for a visit from 11.15 to 1.00. No problems . They have a Dispersal Order they can use if it gets bad. They give me a number to call and leave.

By about 2.30 there were about 200+ kids swimming

2.45 the radio chirps up. This is cruiser Metal Pirate. We are Hell’s Angels. We are sick of these swimmers and we are taking action now! We have baseball bats.

I call my boss. She is an ex plod inspector. She says call 999. I do.

6 cars, a van, dogs and a helicopter!!!

Metal Pirate turned back shadowed by helicopter. Police execute Dispersal Order and teenagers get mouthy. Several arrests

I leave 

You should have sold tickets

[Barman]

So this lock is popular with swimmers because of its location. They make a mess, abuse boaters, use drugs and shit everywhere. Drives the locals, the boaters and the Watersports Centre nuts.

It is a well known and persistent problem. The Plod came for a visit from 11.15 to 1.00. No problems . They have a Dispersal Order they can use if it gets bad. They give me a number to call and leave.

By about 2.30 there were about 200+ kids swimming

2.45 the radio chirps up. This is cruiser Metal Pirate. We are Hell’s Angels. We are sick of these swimmers and we are taking action now! We have baseball bats.

I call my boss. She is an ex plod inspector. She says call 999. I do.

6 cars, a van, dogs and a helicopter!!!

Metal Pirate turned back shadowed by helicopter. Police execute Dispersal Order and teenagers get mouthy. Several arrests

I leave 

Oh, we're proud of you Nick, well done! 

[Nick]

Season ends at end of month, sadly tainted by a fellow lock keeper who doesn’t like me and is trying to make my life misery. I have a cunning plan

[Grumpmeister]

Season ends at end of month, sadly tainted by a fellow lock keeper who doesn’t like me and is trying to make my life misery. I have a cunning plan

what could possibly go right..? 

[Barman]

Season ends at end of month, sadly tainted by a fellow lock keeper who doesn’t like me and is trying to make my life misery. I have a cunning plan

what could possibly go right..? 

 

[Grumpmeister]

Look I'm telling you, that big 2 legged thing with the orange crest over there is bloody odd. Just watch it for a while and you'll see what I mean.

 

[Barman]

Look I'm telling you, that big 2 legged thing with the orange crest over there is bloody odd. Just watch it for a while and you'll see what I mean.

 

 

[Nick]

 

[Nick]

Nice day for the last day of the year