Nottingham man enraged by his new shirts
“They don’t do this with any other garment,“ raged irate Nick Warren of Nottingham. “I needed some new shirts and bought three for the price of two today, and was quite pleased with the bargain, but that is where the trouble started,” he continued, veins visibly bulging on his forehead.
Arriiving home, Warren proceeded to open up one of his new purchases to admire it. Clawing desperately through the sealed cellophane bag (teeth had to be used) he then encountered infuriating layers of impedimenta.
“First I had to slip out a large piece of cardboard pointlessly inserted within the cotton. I then discovered 9 pins and 7 plastic clips hidden cunningly amongst the folds. Shaking the shirt I encountered a weird piece of pointless tissue paper. I then had to remove two separate pieces of Perspex and a large cardboard ring from the collar. It seemed to be OK, so I tried it on and discovered another pin concealed in a corner which pierced my shoulder and drew blood. I wore the blasted thing for about one second and now it needs a bio-wash.”
The other new shirts are identically packaged and Warren is steeling his nerves to open them up.
“All I need now is some sticky backed plastic, a Pritt stick and one of those cardboard things from inside a toilet roll and I can make my own model of the Palace of Westminster.”
