The incredible disappearing report and the paradox of working for the Gubberment

[Nick]

I am considering getting Mr Darwin's man to come and work for me. I may raise his weekly beer allowance.

[Steve]

I am considering getting Mr Darwin's man to come and work for me. I may raise his weekly beer allowance.

poacher eh?

[Nick]

No, I think he turned gamekeeper. He keeps the peasants in order. Or something like that

[Darwins Selection]

So what is this report then?

"Recommendations for sporting policy after an England win at Euro 2016" ?

Chilcot

[Nick]

The report was sent to various "important" people for comment. They have ALL suggested minor changes all of which conflict with each other 

Publication is scheduled for 1.00 p.m. today.................

[Darwins Selection]

The report was sent to various "important" people for comment. They have ALL suggested minor changes all of which conflict with each other 

Publication is scheduled for 1.00 p.m. today.................

A couple of hours, or parts thereof, left for you.

£££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££

[Steve]

The report was sent to various "important" people for comment. They have ALL suggested minor changes all of which conflict with each other 

Publication is scheduled for 1.00 p.m. today.................

  Postible explanation:

One said burn it

One said print it on softer more absorbent easily detached pages

One said could it have the paper plane folding outlines on each page please

One said could the pictures have the colouring numbers in bigger font

[Nick]

Just sent it 

[Steve]

Just sent it 

The curse of the spotted just too late error awaits

[Nick]

I found three 

The design team are sending it back to me later for a final check

[Darwins Selection]

I found three 

The design team are sending it back to me later for a final cheque

 

[Nick]

I have just been paid 

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

Cheque bounced...? 

[Nick]

Last minute interference. It is now with the designers