*Defense Attorney:* ?Will you please state your age?
*Little Old Lady:* "I am 86 years old."
*Defense Attorney:* "Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
*Little Old Lady:* ?There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.? me.'
*Defense Attorney:* "Did you know him?
*Little Old Lady:* "No, but he sure was friendly."
*Defense Attorney:* "What happened after he sat down??
*Little Old Lady:* "He started to rub my thigh*
*Defense Attorney:* "Did you stop him?"
*Little Old Lady: * "No, I didn't stop him."
*Defense Attorney:* "Why not?"
*Little Old Lady:* "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago."
*Defense Attorney:* "What happened next?"
*Little Old Lady:* "He began to rub my breasts."
*Defense Attorney:* "Did you stop him then?"
*Little Old Lady:* "No, I did not stop him."
*Defense Attorney:* "Why not?"
*Little Old Lady: * "His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!"
*Defense Attorney:* "What happened next?"
*Little Old Lady:* "Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
*Defense Attorney: * "Did he take you?"
*Little Old Lady: * "Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!'...... And that's when I shot him, the little bastard"
