I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13....13'
The fence was too high to see over,but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when a sharply-dressed man in a business suit sat down in the aisle seat and settled his black Labrador in the middle seat between them.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The suited man explained that he was an agent working for HM Customs and Excise and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
"His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the agent said, "Watch this. I'm going to get Sniffer to do his stuff. Prepare to be impressed."
He told Sniffer to "search". Sniffer jumped down, walked up and down the aisle several times, sniffing from side to side as he went. Finally, Sniffer sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds before returning to his seat and putting one paw on the agent's arm. The agent
said, "Good boy" and gave him a doggy chocolate. He turned to the man and said, "Sniffer is telling me that that woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land. "
"Wow, that's pretty amazing," replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab performed the same up-and-down-the-aisle routine again before he eventually sat down beside a man for a few seconds. Once again the dog returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. After giving Sniffer another doggie treat, the customs officer said, "According to Sniffer, that man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police."
"I like it!" said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to "search" again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really disgusted by Sniffer's behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that. Nearly wretching at the smell he asked his neighbour "What's going on?"
The agent nervously replied, "He just found a bomb."
