Stupid fake police

[Nick]

We have some of those Commuity Support Officers roundhere. You can spot them a mile off becuase they look geeky and wear ill fitting uniforms.

I have just had a conversation with one.

"Is that your car sir?"
"Yes"
"The tax disc has expired"
"No it hasn't"
"it says 08.07. It has expired."
"It expires at the end of this month. I had the reminder yesterday"
"No sir, it has expired."

I then counted off the months of the year on my fingers very slowly and proved to him that August is the eighth month of the year.

"Simple mistake", he siad and wandered off.

How much do they pay these twits?

[Berek]

this calls for a caption competition

[Snoopy]

We have some of those Commuity Support Officers roundhere. You can spot them a mile off becuase they look geeky and wear ill fitting uniforms.

I have just had a convreation with one.

"Is that your car sir?"
"Yes"
"The tax disc has expired"
"No it hasn't"
"it says 08.07. It has expired."
"It expires at the end of this month. I had the reminder yesterday"
"No sir, it has expired."

I then counted off the months of the year on my fingers very slowly and proved to him that August is the eighth month of the year.

"Simple mistake", he siad and wandered off.

How much do they pay these twits?

For comedy like that? Not enough.
Jimmy Tarbuck would want ?5K for a walk on with a punch line of that quality.

[Grumpmeister]

Not all of them are like that though Nick, I have a friend who is a CSO and joined because its the only way she will have a shot at getting in the the regular force in Cornwall.

[Snoopy]

Not all of them are like that though Nick, I have a friend who is a CSO and joined because its the only way she will have a shot at getting in the the regular force in Cornwall.

Yes that is the current line being used by many forces to attract decent recruits as "Plastic Bobbies" but the reality is few will ever be "promoted". It is policing on the cheap ~ another new Labour con.
North Wales Force now has Police Officers with 20 years service answering the phones and sending the plastic cops as the response team. The excuse for this is that the trained and experienced policeman answering the 'phone "Has the experience to decide priorities" 

[Misunderstood]

Hmmm!  We are being 'equipped' with these 'extra' policemen too.
Completely gormless and totally useless.

Their standard response chat line goes "We don't attend incidents that are likely to be confrontational."  which is probably because the real police would like to send them out to 'test the waters' first.  The only incident that was non-confrontational was about ten years ago when someone reported their dog lost.

[Pastis]

Hmmm!  We are being 'equipped' with these 'extra' policemen too.
Completely gormless and totally useless.

Totally agree. We have them here wandering around in pairs chatting about shopping, avoiding confrontation, looking the other way, and when asked a question, respond with "Sorry, I don't live round 'ere, dear" 

[The Moan Ranger]

We had loads outside our office a couple of weeks ago - staring vacantly at the B+Q warehouse. Seems they were on some sort of training exercise.

I walked passed (have to be 50 yards) away from the office to smoke and asked if they were extras in "The Bill". The response was "No we aren't. Now fu(k off". Not only stupid, but ill-mannered too.

On the way back from my fag, I held the put-out stub up to them and told them I would dispose of it inside, in case one of the jumped-up little fu(ks thought of doing me for littering...

They remained silent.

[Mr Happy]

This is just another option for those too stupid or too poorly financed to attend University.  The girly ones are always tiny and want to save the planet with a kind word.  The fellas want revenge for years of being bullied at school.

I'm not sure which is most worrying, their lack of physical presence or their lack of mental capacity.  Plod used to be a big fellar that would put the fear of god into the local kids, a quick clip round the ear and you were unlikely to reoffend.  Not a rocket scientist but got results...