Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 356682 times)

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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5072 on: May 24, 2019, 10:33:33 PM »
"Diana!" I said, greeting my Mother-in-Law as she walked through the door.
She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah I know."
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5073 on: May 25, 2019, 03:14:03 AM »
"Diana!" I said, greeting my Mother-in-Law as she walked through the door.
She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah I know."

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5074 on: May 25, 2019, 06:38:56 AM »
"Diana!" I said, greeting my Mother-in-Law as she walked through the door.
She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah I know."

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Online Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5075 on: May 25, 2019, 12:05:13 PM »
"Diana!" I said, greeting my Mother-in-Law as she walked through the door.
She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah I know."

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5076 on: May 26, 2019, 11:04:44 AM »
A little Yorkshire couple had been married for years, but the little old lady dies. The husband goes to a stone mason after the funeral and orders a headstone and says to the mason " I want on the stone Sacred to the memory etc. etc and ending in the words She were Thine." The mason says "No trouble come back next week I'll have it done".The following Tuesday he called round to see how the mason was getting on. It was finished, but the final words were "She were thin. "Oh no" said the husband "you've left the e off." "Don't worry" said the mason, "give us an hour and I'll put it right back." He goes back an hour later and the mason had altered it to, E she were thin.
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5077 on: May 26, 2019, 11:07:22 AM »
A little Yorkshire couple had been married for years, but the little old lady dies. The husband goes to a stone mason after the funeral and orders a headstone and says to the mason " I want on the stone Sacred to the memory etc. etc and ending in the words She were Thine." The mason says "No trouble come back next week I'll have it done".The following Tuesday he called round to see how the mason was getting on. It was finished, but the final words were "She were thin. "Oh no" said the husband "you've left the e off." "Don't worry" said the mason, "give us an hour and I'll put it right back." He goes back an hour later and the mason had altered it to, E she were thin.

 lol:
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5078 on: May 27, 2019, 04:58:32 PM »
Mary had a little skirt.
It split right up the sides,
and everywhere that Mary went,
The boys could see her thighs.
She also had another skirt,
it split right up the front,
She never wore that one.
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5079 on: May 27, 2019, 06:07:58 PM »
Mary had a little skirt.
It split right up the sides,
and everywhere that Mary went,
The boys could see her thighs.
She also had another skirt,
it split right up the front,
She never wore that one.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5080 on: May 29, 2019, 06:18:35 PM »
While on a road trip up north, an elderly couple, stopped at the sevices for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip to Scotland.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance on the motorway before they could find a exit to turn around, in order to return to the services to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the services. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and credit card as well!!..
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5081 on: May 29, 2019, 06:55:37 PM »
While on a road trip up north, an elderly couple, stopped at the sevices for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip to Scotland.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance on the motorway before they could find a exit to turn around, in order to return to the services to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the services. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and credit card as well!!..

 lol: lol: lol:
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5082 on: June 04, 2019, 03:47:58 PM »
The girl at the RyanAir check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?"

I replied, "Window or you'll what?"
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5083 on: June 04, 2019, 03:51:11 PM »
The girl at the RyanAir check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?"

I replied, "Window or you'll what?"

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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5084 on: June 06, 2019, 08:34:23 AM »
My wife just phoned me all hysterical and said "The engine has flooded on the car, it wont start." I laughed and said "Don't worry darling, it's not the engine, it's the carburetor, it sounds like you have been pumping the accelerator on the car before trying to start it up, tell me where the car is and I will come and fix it."
 "In the lake behind Tesco's," she replied!
Well, whatever nevermind