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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 07:23:25 AM

Title: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 07:23:25 AM
"Wrestling midgets killed by fake hookers"

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.htmlWrestling_midgets_killed_by_fake_hookers&in_article_id=696603&in_page_id=34 (http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.htmlWrestling_midgets_killed_by_fake_hookers&in_article_id=696603&in_page_id=34)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%2Ftelegraph%2Fmultimedia%2Farchive%2F01435%2Fluchadores_1435098c.jpg&hash=5f4d075077573c1f0367066dad0e8c30)

Post mortems are being performed on the two wrestlers, one of whom went by the name ?La Parkita? - or ?Little Death? - and wore a skeleton costume in the ring. The other was known as ?Espectrito Jr.?

Authorities say two women were seen leaving the men?s hotel room in Mexico City before the bodies were discovered.

Prosecutor Miguel Angel Mancera said that gangs of female robbers in the area are experienced at using drugs to knock men out and rob them, but they may have used too strong a dose.

They said the wrestlers may have succumbed to the drugs more readily because of their small stature, although larger men have also died in similar crimes.

Previously, Mexican police have arrested prostitutes who poisoned "clients" to steal their money.

 
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 07:25:35 AM
Would you have posted that if one of them wore a clown costume...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 07:31:00 AM
The story but definitely not a picture - I am nothing if not a coward  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 07:33:23 AM
The story but definitiely not a picture - I am nothing if not a coward  scared2:
lol:

They were saying on the wireless this morning that crime is totally out of control in Mexico - even 'normal' people are being kidnapped and held for ransom on a daily basis... then there is the pig flu of course...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 07:35:10 AM
Are there any midget wrestlers dressed as pigs  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 07:37:41 AM
Are there any midget wrestlers dressed as pigs  rubschin:
No, just prostitutes...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 07:39:00 AM
You sound knowledgable   rubschin: ( on this subject only of course  lol:)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 07:47:59 AM
You sound knowledgable   rubschin: ( on this subject only of course  lol:)
evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 08:56:46 AM
Quote
Staff strip naked to improve morale
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 09:01:49 AM
Surely that would depend on what the staff look like eeek:

And they were hardly naked -  they were covered in body paint  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 09:02:36 AM
Who were?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 09:04:26 AM
The headlines to which you were referring.

Air New Zealand staff who stripped and covered themselves in body paint to record the usual safety drills in the hope that more people would pay attention

Simples
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 09:05:03 AM
Wrong!!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 09:07:01 AM
I always am  noooo:

So please educate me then as to what is is you are on about  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 09:07:16 AM
A marketing company in Newcastle got rid of Hawaiian shirt Fridays and their pants while they were at it in an attempt to improve morale. Naked Friday was the brainchild of business psychologist, David Taylor. He convinced the folks at design and marketing onebestway that stripping off their pants would also strip away walls blocking good communication. Nearly everyone went the full monty at the office, with only one man and two women choosing to wear underwear. Sam Jackson, 23, the house manager, was the only woman to go fully naked. She said, "It was brilliant. Now that we've seen each other naked, there are no barriers."
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 09:07:55 AM
Correct.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5718984/Staff-strip-naked-to-improve-morale.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5718984/Staff-strip-naked-to-improve-morale.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 09:08:42 AM
They ought to try it at Wimbledon during the current heatwave  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 09:09:18 AM
They ought to try it at Wimbledon during the current heatwave  whistle:
All covered in chip fat...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 09:09:46 AM
Only in Andy Murray's case
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 09:10:14 AM
Now that we've seen each other naked, there are no barriers."

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS   sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 09:11:05 AM
We could do a VP 'go naked to improve morale day'
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 09:11:55 AM
We could do a VP 'go naked to improve morale day'
And all post naked pictures of ourselves... in a special '18 Only' thread like....  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 09:15:15 AM
Are bikini shots allowed  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 03, 2009, 09:15:40 AM
We could do a VP 'go naked to improve morale day'
And all post naked pictures of ourselves... in a special '18 Only' thread like....  rubschin:
I am ironing my picture right now.  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 03, 2009, 09:17:50 AM
I'm naked at the moment  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2009, 09:18:28 AM
Are bikini shots allowed  whistle:
Quote
naked

 ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2009, 09:22:29 AM
A marketing company in Newcastle got rid of Hawaiian shirt Fridays and their pants while they were at it in an attempt to improve morale. Naked Friday was the brainchild of business psychologist, David Taylor. He convinced the folks at design and marketing onebestway that stripping off their pants would also strip away walls blocking good communication. Nearly everyone went the full monty at the office, with only one man and two women choosing to wear underwear. Sam Jackson, 23, the house manager, was the only woman to go fully naked. She said, "It was brilliant. Now that we've seen each other naked, there are no barriers."

What a load of old bollocks. Just psychological claptrap.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 03, 2009, 09:25:00 AM
A marketing company in Newcastle got rid of Hawaiian shirt Fridays and their pants while they were at it in an attempt to improve morale. Naked Friday was the brainchild of business psychologist, David Taylor. He convinced the folks at design and marketing onebestway that stripping off their pants would also strip away walls blocking good communication. Nearly everyone went the full monty at the office, with only one man and two women choosing to wear underwear. Sam Jackson, 23, the house manager, was the only woman to go fully naked. She said, "It was brilliant. Now that we've seen each other naked, there are no barriers."

What a load of old bollocks. Just psychological claptrap.

Couldn't persuade your lot then Unc?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 09:34:55 AM
Uncle could lead by example  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 09:48:26 AM
We could do a VP 'go naked to improve morale day'
And all post naked pictures of ourselves... in a special '18 Only' thread like....  rubschin:
I am ironing my picture right now.  ;D


Like me it may be the body that needs ironing, not the picture surrender:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2009, 10:04:29 AM
I see it was done for a TV show.  ::)

Quote
"We're all beautiful, whether we've got big bodies or small ones."

See? - claptrap.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 10:05:58 AM
Do you not believe that to be so then Uncle  sad24:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 10:08:25 AM
Quote
We're all beautiful, whether we've got big bodies or small ones


Look at the evidence!



(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg269.imageshack.us%2Fimg269%2F3583%2F65766320.jpg&hash=c55b22cf06e65101e98a2e43b83641de) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 03, 2009, 10:09:13 AM
Quote
We're all beautiful, whether we've got big bodies or small ones


Look at the evidence!



([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg269.imageshack.us%2Fimg269%2F3583%2F65766320.jpg&hash=c55b22cf06e65101e98a2e43b83641de[/url]) ([url]http://www.postimage.org/[/url])



Excellent point, well made Nick.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 10:09:54 AM
But you two are concentrating on the face ...not the body  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 10:11:15 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg195.imageshack.us%2Fimg195%2F2441%2F92760518.th.jpg&hash=4a9a6d500f1dc6d2cae9f07e92dac102) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx13Y7rS)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2009, 10:13:13 AM
Do you not believe that to be so then Uncle  sad24:

I'm sure you have a very beautiful body Miss D but to say we'll all beautiful is just nonsense.

Brainwashed by the psychologist and mesmerised by the TV and their "5 minutes of fame"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2009, 10:16:47 AM
But you two are concentrating on the face ...not the body  rubschin:


Beautiful?




(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg39.imageshack.us%2Fimg39%2F881%2F47343735.th.jpg&hash=4d520f69ab5bd64a570db4df47a5cdc6) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=PqrKjgS)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 10:17:51 AM
Everyone is beautiful to someone.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 10:19:04 AM
There may be hope for Anne Widdecombe. We could try to fix her up with David Blunkett
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 10:19:20 AM
Do you not believe that to be so then Uncle  sad24:

I'm sure you have a very beautiful body Miss D but to say we'll all beautiful is just nonsense.

Brainwashed by the psychologist and mesmerised by the TV and their "5 minutes of fame"

Don't worry Uncle - I'm on your side  lol:

It is total poppycock and balderdash  noooo:

If we had a team meeting where we were all naked I imagine very little communiation would take place - not at least until after work and in the pub when the bitches would be set free  noooo:

Clothing is not a freakin barrier to communication    - except if you can't be seen or heard evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 10:26:26 AM
Everyone is beautiful to someone.


Well nearly everyone

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftimesonline.typepad.com%2Fphotos%2Funcategorized%2F2008%2F05%2F16%2Fed_balls.jpg&hash=311a8264dda9c5615c113095df8a9cff)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 10:29:13 AM
He looks like exactly like someone I am working on a project with  eeek:

Quite strange  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2009, 10:29:37 AM
BUT:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg10.imageshack.us%2Fimg10%2F5363%2F41049351.th.jpg&hash=e297c6a4feded2815d9ddb8a455cff44) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=PqrO6JA)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 10:31:26 AM
Yes his wife is pretty ~ or would be if she got rid of her lefty principles that stop her from making the best of herself AND shed that oaf.

I use that picture of Mr Balls to frighten the boys with what awaits them if they don't do as they are told at "Home School"

It isn't hard to imagine Balls in some sort of Dickensian novel about the Work House is it?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 10:35:03 AM
 rubschin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.11th-hour.info%2Fimages%2Fhitler.jpg&hash=620aee8e3f89cefd7dbeaf5805dba6b2)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2009, 10:41:18 AM
But now we are off the body beautiful and on character. Different thing altogether.


Quote from: Snoop
It isn't hard to imagine Balls in some sort of Dickensian novel about the Work House is it?

Ed Balls looks a proper softy to me.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 10:44:26 AM
When did we ever stay on topic?

As for Ed Balls ~ I should like to dig his eyes out and make him eat them. Two faced lieing toad that he is.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 11:00:43 AM
See also
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6206.0 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6206.0)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 11:04:46 AM
Lost me there ~ your mind runs on different tracks it would seem.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 11:05:44 AM
 whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 11:40:05 AM
Sorry ~ I think I see what you are driving at but there is a difference (IMHO) between comedy "Great Headlines" and  Miss D's "Fantastic Headlines"

For a start the comic "Great Headlines" attracted only three posts in total whereas .................... whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 11:41:23 AM
Maybe we should start several more 'Summat Headlines' threads and see which one attracts the most shite, like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 11:43:42 AM
Bitterness is such an unattractive trait - do you want to take your clothes off and talk about it  happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 11:44:44 AM
 whacky115

Wot's she on today?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 03, 2009, 02:22:58 PM
Bitterness is such an unattractive trait - do you want to take your clothes off and talk about it  happy001

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 02:25:40 PM
She has gone bonkers  evil:

It's all this naked office stuff that's got her overheated  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 03, 2009, 02:28:29 PM
I could do "naked office" here but frankly what's the point  noooo:  Although at times this last week it's been hot enough
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 02:28:47 PM
I think I am no different today as I was tomorrow and will be yesterday  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 02:29:17 PM
Worrying  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 02:57:34 PM
I think I am no different today as I was tomorrow and will be yesterday  lol:

St Paul's Epistle to the Hebrews Chapter 13 verse 8  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 03, 2009, 04:26:50 PM
I think I am no different today as I was tomorrow and will be yesterday  lol:

St Paul's Epistle to the Hebrews Chapter 13 verse 8  whistle:

Great minds an all that  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 04:30:04 PM
I once got into a lot of trouble for quoting that.




I wonder how many had to go look it up  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 04:49:13 PM
 angel1

Chapel Sunday Skool for too many years  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on July 03, 2009, 06:13:50 PM
what about:

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 06:24:44 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 06:32:07 PM
what about:

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Tolkien innit?

Bilbo Baggins in Lord of The Rings

""Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on July 03, 2009, 06:33:18 PM
Correct Snoopy. (what does it mean?)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 06:38:14 PM
Not a clue mate ~ can't stand Tolkien. ~ The kids have the DVD and the books moulder on the shelf.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 04, 2009, 07:39:21 AM
Correct Snoopy. (what does it mean?)

It just means he's not buying the next round Pirate , that's all  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 05, 2009, 12:04:26 PM
The headlines to which you were referring.

Air New Zealand staff who stripped and covered themselves in body paint to record the usual safety drills in the hope that more people would pay attention

Simples


It's not like there's anything to see anyway cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-Mq9HAE62Y

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 05, 2009, 12:32:48 PM
This will only work once - once people have watched attentively all the way through - thinking they might see something and then realise it's a con - they will not watch again .

After all - these safety drills worked so well in all the recent air disasters  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 05, 2009, 02:44:38 PM
Which reminds me. Egypt!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 05, 2009, 03:02:29 PM
I shall expect the air traffic logs of all reported problems on aircraft flying between Gatwick and Egypt shortly then ... scared2:

P.S I don't like flying at the best of times  cry:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 05, 2009, 03:03:51 PM
http://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?PgNm=TCE&Params=M1ARTM0012040 (http://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?PgNm=TCE&Params=M1ARTM0012040)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 07, 2009, 03:31:39 PM
Copper stolen from police station  (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8109455.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 08, 2009, 05:46:38 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 08, 2009, 07:13:08 AM

Norfolk police detain 'inappropriate' village scarecrow

Scarecrow was removed for impersonating a poiceman  lol: lol: lol:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/8138993.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/8138993.stm)

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 13, 2009, 12:40:56 PM
Quote
School caretaker jailed for spiked omelette murder
  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 15, 2009, 04:11:17 PM
Beer Belly Saves Man From Drowning In Human Waste (http://www.anorak.co.uk/strange-but-true/216940.html#more-216940)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 16, 2009, 08:29:53 AM
Brothel offers 'green' discount

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8149334.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8149334.stm)

"It's good for business, it's good for the environment and it's good for the girls," he said  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 16, 2009, 09:53:42 AM
Quote
Benefits cheat claimed ?3,500 so he could look like the DEVIL

Quote
Cleaner has head cut off in giant meat blending machine

Quote
She died from serious head injuries
it seems



Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 16, 2009, 11:51:14 AM
Flat blown up in air bed accident  (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8153387.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 16, 2009, 12:54:36 PM
Quote
School stages 'alien abduction of teacher' leaving traumatised pupils in tears
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 16, 2009, 08:09:30 PM
Dead pigeon forces road closure

Firefighters shut a section of road after a pigeon crashed into a top-floor window. Office workers feared that cracked glass would fall onto passers-by after the bird hit the Land Registry building in Peterborough, Cambs.

The bird died in the incident and firefighters had to cordon off part of the street before removing the damaged pane.

"The outside panel of the window had cracked and the glass was hanging precariously from the frame," said a fire service spokesman." Those inside the building were concerned that the glass would fall, injuring pedestrians below."

Firefighters used cones to close a section of the road, travelled up the side of the building on the turntable ladder and removed the glass."
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 17, 2009, 11:41:15 AM
Quote
Attack of the giant squid: Terror as 5ft long sea creatures invade Egyptian coastline


Quote
Hundreds of aggressive jumbo flying squid have appeared off the coast of Egypt, attacking divers and washing up dead on beaches.

The 5-foot long sea monsters, which have razor-sharp beaks and toothy tentacles, have been bringing terror to scuba drivers and swimmers on the coast's tourist-packed beaches.

The carnivorous calamari, which can grow up to 100 pounds, came up from the depths last week and swarms of them have pounced on unsuspecting divers.


 scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 17, 2009, 11:44:48 AM
You're making this stuff up now  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 17, 2009, 11:45:42 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1200323/Attack-giant-squid-Terror-5ft-long-sea-creatures-invade-Egyptian-coastline.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1200323/Attack-giant-squid-Terror-5ft-long-sea-creatures-invade-Egyptian-coastline.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 17, 2009, 11:49:16 AM
Jumbo flying squid!
My arse  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 17, 2009, 12:01:54 PM
San Diego  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 17, 2009, 12:09:53 PM
Apart from the geographical stuff what's all this FLYING nonsense?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 17, 2009, 12:51:19 PM
Apart from the geographical stuff what's all this FLYING nonsense?

Thats what I thought was daft.

Maybe it was FRYING?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 17, 2009, 01:01:42 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcKQt5hHDXg

Cute little fellas!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 17, 2009, 01:05:19 PM
They are disturbing  eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 17, 2009, 01:13:30 PM
They swim backwards better than I thought they would.

No pictures of them in the air though?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 17, 2009, 01:21:12 PM
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory?id=8102059

 scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 17, 2009, 03:45:04 PM
[url]http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory?id=8102059[/url]

 scared2:

See also- Oh never mind...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 20, 2009, 07:50:28 AM
Quote
More sex parties planned in UK after 'masked ball orgy success', say Dutch organisers


Quote
Giant halibut weighing 22 stones delivered to surprised chefs
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 20, 2009, 10:26:24 AM
They swim backwards better than I thought they would.

No pictures of them in the air though?



(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg43.imageshack.us%2Fimg43%2F2540%2F50484152.jpg&hash=fa12cb55ec14407bc76eff7b7807437b) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 20, 2009, 10:27:20 AM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 20, 2009, 11:03:08 AM
They swim backwards better than I thought they would.

No pictures of them in the air though?



([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg43.imageshack.us%2Fimg43%2F2540%2F50484152.jpg&hash=fa12cb55ec14407bc76eff7b7807437b[/url]) ([url]http://www.postimage.org/[/url])


Hard to put a scale on that. Is it gazebo-sized or Zeppelinn-sized and a mile away?

If the latter then  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 20, 2009, 11:10:54 AM
I think the ones that have been attacking Mediterranean cruise liners are Zeppelin sized.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 20, 2009, 04:19:42 PM
 ::)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg41.imageshack.us%2Fimg41%2F748%2F92764999.jpg&hash=5a52ce00ffe01de39825a37799c0d9b5) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 20, 2009, 04:21:36 PM
It'll be fine!







































 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 21, 2009, 08:32:24 AM
Quote
Space station toilet breaks down
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 21, 2009, 08:54:01 AM
Quote
Dog translator transforms barks into words
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 21, 2009, 09:39:52 AM
Quote
Egyptian Swine Flu drama. Mother and daughter confined to hotel
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 21, 2009, 09:45:51 AM
Quote
Egyptian Swine Flu drama. Mother and daughter confined to hotel

Quote
UPDATE: Mother dumps daughter in quarantine - goes on cruise.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 21, 2009, 09:46:41 AM
Quote
Nile cruise ship in crocodile drama
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2009, 03:36:37 PM
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 21, 2009, 03:41:50 PM
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says.
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2009, 03:44:10 PM
You need to go and listen to some nice Gregorian chants or something.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 21, 2009, 03:46:09 PM
You need to go and listen to some nice Gregorian chants or something.
Which paper was that in?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2009, 03:51:10 PM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2009, 05:19:03 PM
UK debt hits a record of ?799bn Last updated: 6 hours ago
Total outstanding government debt in the UK has risen to a record ?799bn as the costs of the downturn hit public finances.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8160614.stm



cussing:



Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 21, 2009, 05:31:51 PM
Quote
Rethink 'eat fish' advice - MPs
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2009, 05:40:35 PM
Taser-hit man burst into flames.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 21, 2009, 08:17:01 PM
Taser-hit man burst into flames.

I saw this one an instantly laughed so much that about a quarter of a pint of Young's shot through my nostrils. And he was Australian. And two of my bar staff are Australian. And they have only just got over the ashes defeat. Good ol' Darwin!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2009, 08:38:14 PM
Taser-hit man burst into flames.

I saw this one an instantly laughed so much that about a quarter of a pint of Young's shot through my nostrils. And he was Australian. And two of my bar staff are Australian. And they have only just got over the ashes defeat. Good ol' Darwin!








Unexplained 'beer fountain' spotted in Southern Britain?


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 22, 2009, 06:05:11 AM
Taser-hit man burst into flames.

I saw this one an instantly laughed so much that about a quarter of a pint of Young's shot through my nostrils. And he was Australian. And two of my bar staff are Australian. And they have only just got over the ashes defeat. Good ol' Darwin!








Unexplained 'beer fountain' spotted in Southern Britain?



Typical tabloid reporting!  ::)

He just explained it up there! ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 22, 2009, 08:40:04 AM
You need to go and listen to some nice Gregorian chants or something.

Yes, chants would be a fine thing.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 22, 2009, 08:43:00 AM
You need to go and listen to some nice Gregorian chants or something.

Yes, chants would be a fine thing.
drumroll:

Someone ate his Wheatabix this morning!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 22, 2009, 08:56:52 AM
You need to go and listen to some nice Gregorian chants or something.

Yes, chants would be a fine thing.


Oh good grief... noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 22, 2009, 09:11:02 AM
You need to go and listen to some nice Gregorian chants or something.

Yes, chants would be a fine thing.


Oh good grief... noooo:
redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 22, 2009, 09:24:07 AM
I should think so too!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 24, 2009, 09:36:28 AM
Quote
Blind border collie gets his own guide dog
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 24, 2009, 09:43:00 AM
Quote
The Rug remains undamaged
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 27, 2009, 02:20:17 PM
Quote
Bigamist collapses outside court

 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 27, 2009, 07:22:19 PM
'Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66'
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 27, 2009, 07:22:52 PM
Or 69?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 30, 2009, 08:32:38 AM
Quote
Pet cat catches the daily bus for four years
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 30, 2009, 09:51:05 AM
Quote
Aeroflot upgrades hostesses

 eeek:

 eyes:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 30, 2009, 10:01:29 AM
 whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 30, 2009, 12:40:04 PM
Freak accident in Cyprus as expat tries to fire up his brain with a glut of AAA batteries.  Strange almost human animal seen fleeing from the scene.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg50.imageshack.us%2Fimg50%2F8559%2F20134483.jpg&hash=fbd66bfcecd52bd9abc6240e724be38e) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 30, 2009, 12:50:50 PM
This all makes sense!!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 30, 2009, 01:47:35 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 31, 2009, 11:39:21 AM
Quote
Naked firemen to tackle Atlantic
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 31, 2009, 12:07:36 PM
Quote
Flying underwear causes power cut
 eeek:

Quote
Engineers traced the fault and found a thong had short circuited a power line.
It is believed the clothing was carried by a helium balloon from a nearby party.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 31, 2009, 01:15:38 PM
I would like to declare the Silly Season officially Open  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2009, 01:21:10 PM
I would like to declare the Silly Season officially Open  ;D
It has been silly season here since April 2007!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 31, 2009, 01:23:07 PM
Is it really that long?  eeek:


Must be when I see how much time I have frittered away in here.

Total time logged in: 137 days, 6 hours and 2 minutes.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2009, 01:29:48 PM
136 days, 7 hours and 7 minutes...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 31, 2009, 01:37:26 PM
The words SAD PAIR OF BASTARDS come to mind for some reason. redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2009, 01:39:30 PM
The words SAD PAIR OF BASTARDS come to mind for some reason. redface:
Noooooo.... we just managed to squeeze so much into each and every day!  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 31, 2009, 01:39:59 PM
Like a fat lass into tight clothing?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2009, 01:40:33 PM
Like a fat lass into tight clothing?
Yes, our days positively bulge at the seams!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 31, 2009, 01:42:01 PM
The words SAD PAIR OF BASTARDS come to mind for some reason. redface:
Noooooo.... we just managed to squeeze so much into each and every day!  whistle:


Are we going to confess to having two screens/PCs running so that we can work on one and be on here on the other?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2009, 01:43:01 PM
The words SAD PAIR OF BASTARDS come to mind for some reason. redface:
Noooooo.... we just managed to squeeze so much into each and every day!  whistle:


Are we going to confess to having two screens/PCs running so that we can work on one and be on here on the other?
No, we'll keep that quiet...  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 31, 2009, 01:44:54 PM
The words SAD PAIR OF BASTARDS come to mind for some reason. redface:
Noooooo.... we just managed to squeeze so much into each and every day!  whistle:


Are we going to confess to having two screens/PCs running so that we can work on one and be on here on the other?
No, we'll keep that quiet...  ;)

Good Plan ~ the less "they" know the better  happy088
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 31, 2009, 02:49:14 PM
Quite so. I will never reveal his obsession with knocking shops to LL  angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 31, 2009, 03:18:50 PM
One browser ~ three tabs  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 31, 2009, 03:29:41 PM
44 days, 23 hours and 11 minutes

Lightweight!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2009, 03:34:39 PM
Quite so. I will never reveal his obsession with knocking shops to LL  angel1
eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 31, 2009, 03:41:57 PM
44 days, 23 hours and 11 minutes

Lightweight!  lol:

I'm quite happy with that  lol:   My preferred posting time is also toward the end of the "werking" day  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 31, 2009, 05:10:23 PM
One browser ~ three tabs  whistle:


 eeek:Are you admitting to being the VP drug dealer here Pastis, if so could you just say it again when I have this mike' working.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 31, 2009, 05:55:48 PM
 eeek:

Testing, testing, one two... one two
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 31, 2009, 05:58:32 PM
Shhh don't shout.



Is that your pimp mobile over there?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 31, 2009, 06:06:27 PM
No. Mine's in the car park here  whistle:

Are you being stalked?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 31, 2009, 06:12:00 PM
Boy born with missing fingers.



Right, if he was born with them they either were not his, in which case he stole them from someone else, or they were his and they were not in fact missing.

This was broadcast on PM last night FFS. cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 31, 2009, 06:13:03 PM
No. Mine's in the car park here  whistle:

Are you being stalked?

Umm I was deflowered many years ago does that count? whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 31, 2009, 06:15:09 PM
Never mind, petal  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 31, 2009, 06:22:59 PM
 
Never mind, petal  ;)
lol:


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 04, 2009, 12:42:33 PM
Quote
Lovers 'glued man's penis to stomach to punish him for cheating'
  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 04, 2009, 12:52:01 PM
Quote
Lovers 'glued man's penis to stomach to punish him for cheating'
  eeek:

The extent of the injuries to the victim remains unclear.

Thank heavens for small mercies!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 04, 2009, 07:10:24 PM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5970007/Men-spend-a-year-staring-at-women.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5970007/Men-spend-a-year-staring-at-women.html)

Can this be true?  angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 04, 2009, 07:15:15 PM
In your case a serious underestimate I would say.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 07, 2009, 08:18:02 AM
Woman to marry fairground ride

A 33-year-old church organist from Pennsylvania is planning to marry a magic carpet fairground ride.
 
Amy Wolfe claims to have objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects.
 
She has been 'courting' the attraction, an 80ft gondola ride called 1001 Nachts, for a decade. According to the Daily Telegraph, Wolfe travels 160 miles to visit the attraction up to 10 times every year. It is estimated she has taken approximately 3,000 rides since first visiting the theme park at the age of 13.
 
"I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we'll be together forever," she said. "I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally.
 
"I wasn't freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn't tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn't 'normal' to have feelings for a fairground ride."


 eeek:

 noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 07, 2009, 08:34:48 AM
An organist, you say  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 07, 2009, 08:48:05 AM
Quote
objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects.


This may help explain why I married the first Mrs S.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 07, 2009, 08:48:26 AM
Quote
World record for biggest zombie gathering set at festival
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 07, 2009, 09:00:27 AM
Quote
objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects.


This may help explain why I married the first Mrs S.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 07, 2009, 12:58:02 PM
Quote
Woman 'torched Briton's genitals'
  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 07, 2009, 01:59:28 PM
Quote
Woman 'torched Briton's genitals'
  eeek:
'Torched' or 'touched'?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 07, 2009, 02:04:05 PM
 ::)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8189296.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8189296.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 07, 2009, 02:10:32 PM
::)

[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8189296.stm[/url] ([url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8189296.stm[/url])


I thought it was meant to be something unusual.

Torching is an everyday occurence round here.

The last recorded touching however, was on VE day.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 07, 2009, 02:19:02 PM
::)

[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8189296.stm[/url] ([url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8189296.stm[/url])


I thought it was meant to be something unusual.

Torching is an everyday occurence round here.

The last recorded touching however, was on VE day.



And the result was our very own Darwins Selection?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 07, 2009, 02:24:50 PM
Terrier Alert: Python Swallows Pet Dog

1:51pm UK, Monday March 16, 2009
A distraught woman has told how a python devoured her pet dog - including the collar and name tag.




Has anyone seen Snoops this afternoon?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 07, 2009, 02:25:36 PM
Couldn't she slit the python open and get the dog back?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 07, 2009, 02:25:54 PM
He was talking about the size of his snake the other day  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 07, 2009, 02:26:33 PM
Was his voice muffled?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 07, 2009, 02:31:01 PM
Well he could only type with one finger  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 07, 2009, 04:05:32 PM
I am listening you know  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 07, 2009, 04:45:41 PM
That's as maybe but is it dark where you are?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 07, 2009, 04:56:09 PM
 8) A little
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 07, 2009, 06:58:53 PM
well, take your glasses off and have a bit of a ferkle if its warm, acidic and slimey you are prolly inside a snake. scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 07, 2009, 07:00:26 PM
No deffo not a snake  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 07, 2009, 08:30:39 PM
Good grief are you inside Mrs S and typing too? !!!! eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 07, 2009, 10:36:21 PM
At every opportunity we are told
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 08, 2009, 07:54:28 AM
 eyes:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 08, 2009, 01:34:32 PM
http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/3865466-drunken-zoo-visitor-loses-arm-to-white-tiger/image/36841340






 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 08, 2009, 05:15:46 PM
Quote
British tourist had genitals doused in booze and set on fire, court hears


http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/08/08/burning-desire-115875-21581592/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 08, 2009, 05:29:07 PM
Quote
Woman 'torched Briton's genitals'
  eeek:


Keep up at the back. ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 08, 2009, 05:35:12 PM
But if people will insist on "quoting" headlines without a source how are we to know they aren't just making them up?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 08, 2009, 05:41:01 PM
I don't know. Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 08, 2009, 06:45:34 PM
The topic title makes it clear  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 09, 2009, 07:06:58 AM
The topic title makes it clear  evil:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-merv%2Frulez.gif&hash=26e6c9fa8e31db633adf1060ab48f6f2)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 09, 2009, 11:35:12 AM
The topic title makes it clear  evil:

Heaven forbid Nick would ever take a thread off topic...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 10, 2009, 12:05:49 PM
Quote
Cuba runs out of lavatory paper
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 10, 2009, 12:06:37 PM
Quote
Obese man hid gun in rolls of fat
  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 10, 2009, 12:08:44 PM
from the prison guards  happy001

I wonder what I could hide  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 10, 2009, 12:10:02 PM
Telephone?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 10, 2009, 01:03:46 PM
handset or a mobile  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 10, 2009, 01:05:02 PM
Mobile. Mrs TG can advise
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 11, 2009, 08:01:37 AM
Quote
Redheads 'twice as likely to avoid dentist than brunettes'
  whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 11, 2009, 08:51:26 AM
http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/dyslexic-cat-gets-owner-in-toruble.html (http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/dyslexic-cat-gets-owner-in-toruble.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 12, 2009, 12:30:55 PM
Quote
Tesco to sell extra large condoms

Form a queue boys (and keep plenty of space in between you)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 13, 2009, 06:49:57 AM
Swimmer mauled by otters

An Austrian woman on holiday in Wisconsin is getting rabies shots after she said she was bitten by otters while swimming in a lake.
Brigitte France, 51, told the Duluth News Tribune that she was swimming on Lake Owen near Drummond last Wednesday when three otters suddenly appeared.
Feeling concerned, she swam to shore. Just as she got there, she said: "There they were - one on the right leg and one on the left leg.



Do 3 Otters constitute a mauling  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 13, 2009, 08:50:33 AM
Quote
one on the right leg and one on the left leg.

That's only 2. She is exaggerating  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 13, 2009, 09:46:39 AM
Quote
French ban Muslim woman from pool for wearing 'burkini' swimsuit
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on August 13, 2009, 04:06:38 PM
Quote
French ban Muslim woman from pool for wearing 'burkini' swimsuit

And quite right too. Banned on hygiene grounds incidentally though it'll be taken as political  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 15, 2009, 08:57:56 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg32.imageshack.us%2Fimg32%2F5921%2F71678582.jpg&hash=6ae1b1788fb60d75f07d8e1f27e3f41e) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 15, 2009, 09:06:46 AM

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg32.imageshack.us%2Fimg32%2F5921%2F71678582.jpg&hash=6ae1b1788fb60d75f07d8e1f27e3f41e[/url]) ([url]http://www.postimage.org/[/url])


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 15, 2009, 09:29:21 AM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi96.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl194%2Fmarkfrank19%2Fnewspaper3.jpg&hash=f2560f795a622ead95282c206d413b65)

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 15, 2009, 10:12:24 AM
 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 15, 2009, 06:37:40 PM
happy001 happy001 happy001
  happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 16, 2009, 09:12:13 AM
([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi96.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl194%2Fmarkfrank19%2Fnewspaper3.jpg&hash=f2560f795a622ead95282c206d413b65[/url])

 eeek:




Excellent.
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 16, 2009, 09:36:44 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg195.imageshack.us%2Fimg195%2F4936%2F35327472.jpg&hash=8c6d306d391f5c132d9f263992ff5655) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 17, 2009, 07:45:19 AM
([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi96.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl194%2Fmarkfrank19%2Fnewspaper3.jpg&hash=f2560f795a622ead95282c206d413b65[/url])

 eeek:


Excellent!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 18, 2009, 08:46:10 AM
Quote
Chilli bombs to be issued to security forces
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 18, 2009, 08:50:47 AM
I had chilli last night after a mug of coffee I may be able to help out. whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 18, 2009, 08:51:01 AM
Quote
Terrified children left hanging above lion enclosure for two hours after power cut at theme park
  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2009, 09:34:52 AM
Quote
Rooney's 'baby scan party'

Wayne Rooney, the Manchester United and England striker, and his wife Coleen held a party at their at their Cheshire mansion for loved ones to watch their baby scan live.
 sick2:


She will need a Caesarean to get its ears out  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 22, 2009, 01:53:49 PM
She will need a Caesarean to get its ears out

I bet she won't  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2009, 01:57:16 PM
Good point, well made
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2009, 09:21:55 AM
Quote
Dylan could be new sat-nav voice
  whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 25, 2009, 09:48:51 AM
Thomas or Robert?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2009, 09:51:32 AM
Robert
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on August 25, 2009, 11:10:31 AM
That won't work; you'll keep going back onto Highway 61
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2009, 11:12:40 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 25, 2009, 12:52:04 PM
I quite like the idea of a Dylan Thomas satnav voice.

"Turn slowly left into the dark, dank, unwelcoming road that leads to..."
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2009, 12:55:56 PM
...and stop at the pub.'
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2009, 01:34:27 PM
Quote
Dylan could be new sat-nav voice
  whacky115


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cinema.com%2Ftrailers%2Fwaytoblue%2FMagic_Roundabout%2Fwallpapers%2FDylan1640x480.jpg&hash=e922edfcdcf977669bccdfaefb5b1ca0)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 26, 2009, 01:34:01 PM
Quote
Stolen Lego giraffe penis was actually a tail
  whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 26, 2009, 06:22:31 PM
Quote
UN issues guidelines on teaching masturbation to 5 year-olds
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 26, 2009, 06:29:20 PM
Now you're pulling our plonkers!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 26, 2009, 06:33:57 PM
I do wish you would provide a link to your headlines!  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 26, 2009, 06:39:25 PM
Had a google. The headline isn't quite the true (think Daily Mail sensationalism)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 26, 2009, 06:45:35 PM
That was what I suspected  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 29, 2009, 07:00:25 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5C2gihnEkE&eurl=http://anallseeingeye.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded#t=83 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5C2gihnEkE&eurl=http://anallseeingeye.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded#t=83)

Note the skilful and careful reconstruction of events  razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 29, 2009, 07:31:05 AM
Excellent!  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 29, 2009, 08:33:59 AM
Giant piranha found in Devon river



http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/aug/28/piranha-devon-river
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 29, 2009, 08:37:37 AM
Quote
Bride and doomed: Honeymoon airline folds, reception hotel folds, dress shop folds, so couple celebrate with... tickets for Jacko
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 29, 2009, 09:39:48 AM
Quote
Atheists offer to care for Christians' pets after the Rapture
 confused:




http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html (http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 31, 2009, 08:52:15 AM
Quote
Brisk daily walk can halve risk of dying for elderly men

What idiot wrote that?! Immortality is not an option!!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 31, 2009, 09:08:06 AM
Quote
Brisk daily walk can halve risk of dying for elderly men

What idiot wrote that?! Immortality is not an option!!


Which is why I asked soooooooo politely and on more than one occasion that the quoted "headlines" be accompanied by a source  cussing:

That way we could all read, if we wished, the article that the headline referred to and we would also know that the "headlines" weren't just the product of someone's fevered imagination.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 31, 2009, 09:09:09 AM
Quote
American researchers compared the death rates in men aged between 70 and 92 who were sedentary compared with those of varying levels of fitness.
They found that for every two minutes of exercise the mortality rate dropped by ten per cent.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6114544/Brisk-daily-walk-can-halve-risk-of-dying-for-elderly-men.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6114544/Brisk-daily-walk-can-halve-risk-of-dying-for-elderly-men.html)

I have written to the Torygraph pointing out that my pension fund will not last for all eternity  whistle:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 31, 2009, 09:09:59 AM
Thank you  angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 01, 2009, 12:45:16 PM
A man being towed by a jet ski while sitting on a rubber ring had his hand cut off as he was dragged along
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 01, 2009, 12:46:22 PM
Quote
Swine flu virus toy on sale
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 01, 2009, 12:48:09 PM
Quote
Pet-owners encouraged to buy earthquake kits for cats and dogs
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 02, 2009, 10:31:37 AM
Quote
Couple hold 50th birthday party for their fridge
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 02, 2009, 10:36:57 AM
Quote
Give us this day our daily... Catholic church issues prayer for faithful to say before sex
whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on September 02, 2009, 10:39:44 AM
Quote
Give us this day our daily... Catholic church issues prayer for faithful to say before sex
whacky115



Does it work?  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 02, 2009, 10:40:21 AM
How would I know?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 02, 2009, 10:42:14 AM
Exactly - you're not Catholic  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 02, 2009, 05:58:25 PM
Great tits cope well with warming

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7390109.stm
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 02, 2009, 07:02:27 PM
Are these wimmin all weird?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 03, 2009, 05:53:06 AM
Are these wimmin all weird?
Oh yes...  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2009, 07:09:22 AM
Quote
Woman builds house out of human hair

QED
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2009, 07:43:01 AM
Quote
Elvis impersonator locked up ex-girlfriend, 17, in secret dungeon for two days
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 04, 2009, 07:52:37 AM
Giant piranha found in Devon river



http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/aug/28/piranha-devon-river
[/quote

"What we actually came across was something which we would not expect to find in our wildest dreams. We could hardly believe our eyes," he said.


Soo let me get this right, not in their wildest dreams had they expected to find a dead fish in a river. rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on September 04, 2009, 10:30:34 AM
Quote
Japan's new first lady 'flew to Venus with UFO'
alien
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2009, 10:35:53 AM
I have seen it remarked that Sarah Brown must dream of something similar  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2009, 11:53:35 AM
Quote
Man hits neighbour's house with cannon
  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 06, 2009, 07:19:14 PM
Quote
Man hits neighbour's house with cannon
  eeek:

I saw that and thought of you - until I read that he enjoyed historic battle re- enactments which meant it couldn't possible be you as that would just be any old day in your household  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2009, 11:01:48 AM
Quote
Crumbs: half of Britons injured by their biscuits on coffee break, survey reveals
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 08, 2009, 11:08:45 AM
Felice Tocchini has created a biscuit which he claims can survive up to a minute in a hot drink before disintegrating into a sodden mess. This smashes the current record of 25.5 seconds for a chocolate digestive.

Crunch time: Felice Tocchini believes his dunking biscuit will last for a minute before disintegrating. He spent three weeks testing hundreds of different ingredients to create his chocolate and vanilla-flavoured masterpiece.
The recipe is a closely-guarded secret, but he revealed that the key was layering flour and oat-based doughs to build strength, before coating it all in an 'impermeable' egg-based glaze before baking.

One of the more outlandish ingredients is tiny slivers of sweet potato, which keep it together without spoiling the taste.



Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on September 10, 2009, 02:07:13 PM
Robber arrested after returning to house to ask victim out on date

http://tinyurl.com/n43ngz
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on September 12, 2009, 02:46:52 PM
Furious Lord Mandelson blasts former Rover bosses
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/09/12/say-sorry-115875-21667186/

I can just see him tearing a tissue in his rage  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 14, 2009, 10:51:11 AM
Quote
Fear of knees among Britain's most unusual phobias
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on September 14, 2009, 10:52:02 AM
Quote
Fear of knees among Britain's most unusual phobias

We know a man who turns to jelly at the mention of the word SHINS!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on September 15, 2009, 06:03:17 PM
Quote
Nepal runs out of goats to sacrifice

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 15, 2009, 06:12:42 PM
An export opportunity beckons
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 16, 2009, 05:28:29 AM
Quote
Fear of knees among Britain's most unusual phobias



We know a man who turns to jelly at the mention of the word SHINS!


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick032.gif&hash=c6ad116d58489539516e79a672912db7) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 16, 2009, 08:28:34 AM
Quote
Nepal runs out of goats to sacrifice

Quote
Cyprus man to export goats to Nepal
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 16, 2009, 02:49:51 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on January 13, 2010, 02:21:37 PM
Gay man who tried to poison lesbian neighbours with slug pellets over three-legged cat feud walks free


HERE (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1242637/Gay-man-tried-poison-lesbian-neighbours-slug-pellets-legged-cat-feud-walks-free.html)

H/T to Steve Shark (http://steveshark.wordpress.com/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 13, 2010, 02:49:14 PM
Happens all the time  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on January 13, 2010, 03:50:33 PM
That old chesnut
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 14, 2010, 10:42:31 AM
http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/ (http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 15, 2010, 12:42:12 PM
Weight Watchers clinic floor collapses under dieters

The floor of a Weight Watchers clinic in Sweden collapsed beneath a group of 20 members of the weight loss programme who were gathered for a meeting.

As the dieters queued to see how many pounds they had shed, the floor beneath them in the clinic in V?xj?, in south-central Sweden, began to rumble "We suddenly heard a huge thud; we almost thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air.

Soon, the fault lines spread around the room, and other sections of the floor gave way.

Luckily, all of the dieters escaped uninjured and managed to move the scales to the corridor, which was not damaged in the accident, and were able to complete their weekly weigh in.

The cause of the floor's collapse remains under investigation.


 lol:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 15, 2010, 12:49:18 PM
Happens all the time!   noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Mr Happy on January 16, 2010, 06:40:48 PM
Quote
Luckily, all of the dieters escaped uninjured

Weebles wobble...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 19, 2010, 05:08:33 PM
Woman murdered by river

How is that possible  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on January 19, 2010, 05:36:19 PM
You been watching streaming news again?



Hat, coat, door,  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 19, 2010, 07:01:25 PM
We shall attributary all future corny quotes to you shall we  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on January 19, 2010, 07:20:00 PM
We shall attributary all future corny quotes to you shall we  whistle:

Put it down to me being temporarily in Seine  surrender:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2010, 07:33:52 PM
We shall attributary all future corny quotes to you shall we  whistle:

Put it down to me being temporarily in Seine  surrender:

 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on January 19, 2010, 07:48:08 PM
We shall attributary all future corny quotes to you shall we  whistle:

Put it down to me being temporarily in Seine  surrender:

 noooo:

 eastdrink048    surrender:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2010, 07:48:49 PM
We shall attributary all future corny quotes to you shall we  whistle:

Put it down to me being temporarily in Seine  surrender:

 noooo:

 eastdrink048    surrender:


I'm just upset that I can't think of anything to top it at the moment!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 19, 2010, 08:26:09 PM
We shall attributary all future corny quotes to you shall we  whistle:

Put it down to me being temporarily in Seine  surrender:

 noooo:

 eastdrink048    surrender:


I'm just upset that I can't think of anything to top it at the moment!  lol:

Not even a current quip?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 19, 2010, 08:29:31 PM
 lol:

It was on the local news tonight - " woman stabbed by river "  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 19, 2010, 08:30:10 PM
Crime wave perhaps?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 19, 2010, 08:36:36 PM
Probably her Exe
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 19, 2010, 08:44:28 PM
 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 20, 2010, 06:46:29 AM
I appreciate the levity of all the comments above, but 18 years old, on her way home from work, the poor kid's life had hardly begun.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 20, 2010, 06:59:54 AM
We shall attributary all future corny quotes to you shall we  whistle:

Put it down to me being temporarily in Seine  surrender:

 noooo:

 eastdrink048    surrender:


I'm just upset that I can't think of anything to top it at the moment!  lol:

Not even a current quip?

No, my mind was a bank...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 20, 2010, 09:39:33 AM
I appreciate the levity of all the comments above, but  18 years old, on her way home from work,  ([url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/berkshire/8469231.stm[/url]) the poor kid's life had hardly begun. I pass there on a weekly basis


A terrible thing to happen I agree but the levity is one way of dealing with a shit world.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 20, 2010, 09:52:48 AM
Wot he said J O M.

It was prolly commited by an oxbow,  I won't bore you with details there are Severn of them!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 20, 2010, 10:54:09 AM
Dam the lot of you.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 20, 2010, 10:59:51 AM
Dam the lot of you.  noooo:

Oh dear...  noooo:

You've opened the flood gates now darwin...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 20, 2010, 12:15:45 PM
Prepare for another stream of them then.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 23, 2010, 10:17:39 AM
21 stone woman kills father of her children after sitting on him during a row


 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on February 02, 2010, 02:57:36 PM
Indonesian man loses his teeth in a cigarette explosion

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8493288.stm
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2010, 10:07:37 AM
Man offered fake degrees in return for spanking


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/8493725.stm
 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/8493725.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 19, 2010, 09:14:31 AM
"Swiss prostitutes trained to use defibrillators in brothels to prevent clients dying"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7259636/Swiss-prostitutes-trained-to-use-defibrillators-in-brothels-to-prevent-clients-dying.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 19, 2010, 10:15:19 AM
"Swiss prostitutes trained to use defibrillators in brothels to prevent clients dying"

[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7259636/Swiss-prostitutes-trained-to-use-defibrillators-in-brothels-to-prevent-clients-dying.html[/url]



Well why else would you use a defibrilator in a brothel?
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on February 19, 2010, 10:55:37 AM
"Curry houses blighted by exploding tandoors"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7264821/Curry-houses-blighted-by-exploding-tandoors.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on February 27, 2010, 11:30:05 PM
I picked up an email this morning from a chum; all it  said was this:

This cutting from the Norwich Evening News:
'A local woman was pestered by an ex-boyfriend, who knocked on her windows, sent love letters and finally pushed half a melon through her catflap.'

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 28, 2010, 07:40:27 AM
I picked up an email this morning from a chum; all it  said was this:

This cutting from the Norwich Evening News:
'A local woman was pestered by an ex-boyfriend, who knocked on her windows, sent love letters and finally pushed half a melon through her catflap.'

 eeek:


 lol: lol: lol:

Where did he push the other half I wonder...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 02, 2010, 02:17:39 PM
"Rare Buddhist flower found under nun's washing machine"

http://tinyurl.com/ybcjwek
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on March 17, 2010, 11:03:42 AM

"Man used penis to assault female police officer"


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east/8570398.stm
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 17, 2010, 11:11:15 AM
That one has attracted the Sub Editors on other media as well  lol:

Quote
Aberdeen engineer tried to slap policewoman with privates
Evening Express

Quote
Lithuanian fined 'for assaulting police woman with his genitals'
Daily Telegraph

I can't wait to hear what the News Quiz will do with the story.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 19, 2010, 10:02:30 AM
Jogger dies as plane crash lands on him

A man was killed in a freak accident when a plane crashed on top of him as he jogged along a beach.

Robert Jones, 38, was struck from behind by pilot Edward Smith after he got into difficulties at 3,000ft and oil began spraying on to his windscreen.

The propeller then fell off and the single-engined plane began falling from the sky.

Aiming the craft at the nearby beach, Mr Smith had no vision ahead of him and the runner was unable to hear the plane because its engine had stalled and he was listening to his iPod.

 eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 19, 2010, 10:05:59 AM
Jogger dies as plane crash lands on him

A man was killed in a freak accident when a plane crashed on top of him as he jogged along a beach.

Robert Jones, 38, was struck from behind by pilot Edward Smith after he got into difficulties at 3,000ft and oil began spraying on to his windscreen.

The propeller then fell off and the single-engined plane began falling from the sky.

Aiming the craft at the nearby beach, Mr Smith had no vision ahead of him and the runner was unable to hear the plane because its engine had stalled and he was listening to his iPod.

 eeek: eeek: eeek:

I told you all that time at the gym was bad for you...  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 19, 2010, 10:07:02 AM
That's why I stay inside and don't risk being run over by a car or mowed down by a plane ...and of course no one can see me  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on March 19, 2010, 10:19:38 AM
That's why I stay inside and don't risk being run over by a car or mowed down by a plane ...and of course no one can see me  redface:

You have to watch out for the idiots being thrown off of the treadmills though.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 19, 2010, 10:21:55 AM
That'll be the VP dance troupe practising their routine  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on March 19, 2010, 10:33:42 AM
I've often laughed when seeing people fly off of trampolines when it's been on tv etc.

Seeing it in real life is hysterical.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on March 19, 2010, 06:31:30 PM
 Woman crashes car (http://espnish.com/2010/03/09/woman-crashes-while-shaving-bikini-line/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 19, 2010, 06:33:08 PM
Woman crashes car ([url]http://espnish.com/2010/03/09/woman-crashes-while-shaving-bikini-line/[/url])



 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 21, 2010, 12:28:14 PM
Docs-removed-wrong-testicle  eeek:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2899208/Docs-removed-wrong-testicle.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 21, 2010, 12:33:53 PM
He'll make a fine soprano spider:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 24, 2010, 03:25:31 PM
Facebook gives you the clap!

http://tinyurl.com/y8sz4kc

 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001












And here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/greenslade/2010/mar/24/sun-national-newspapers

And here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/24/facebook_syphilis/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2010, 11:27:40 AM
Not the headline, the author of the piece

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7065824.ece

 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2010, 11:29:01 AM
Not the headline, the author of the piece

[url]http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7065824.ece[/url]

 happy001 happy001 happy001


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2010, 11:34:19 AM
Most excellent  razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 26, 2010, 11:53:12 AM
Not the headline, the author of the piece

[url]http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7065824.ece[/url]

 happy001 happy001 happy001



 happy001 happy001 happy001

You couldn't make that up.



Actually, I suppose you could.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 26, 2010, 12:55:53 PM
 eeek: "Cheryl Cole makes statement about ring"

http://tinyurl.com/ykutqkt
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 28, 2010, 12:14:57 PM
"US man 'tried to revive dead opossum' in Pennsylvania "

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8591303.stm

I've been drunk, but Jeez...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 28, 2010, 12:40:57 PM
I know someone who would have poked it with a stick  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 28, 2010, 01:34:11 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on March 31, 2010, 11:14:20 AM
Quote
Gordon Brown could lose election and still be Prime Minister

 noooo: noooo:     sad32: sad32:    evil: evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 11:15:29 AM
Insane but true  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 31, 2010, 11:59:46 AM
Quote
Gordon Brown could lose election and still be Prime Minister

 noooo: noooo:     sad32: sad32:    evil: evil:


Do what now?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 12:01:07 PM
Buy guns?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on April 02, 2010, 01:41:15 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8600616.stm
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 06, 2010, 02:04:40 PM
'Dead relative smugglers' quizzed

Quote from: Yahoo
Two women have been arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle a dead relative on to a flight out of the country.

The women pushed the 91-year-old man in a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses in a bid to board him on their flight to Berlin, sources said.

The pair, a 41-year-old and a 66-year-old, are said to have protested that the lifeless pensioner was merely asleep when probed by officials at Liverpool John Lennon Airport on Saturday.


Source (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20100406/tuk-dead-relative-smugglers-quizzed-6323e80.html)

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on April 06, 2010, 02:17:30 PM
Have you seen the cost of flying a body from one country to another?
And the paperwork involved is hooooooge.

Much cheaper to buy an ordinary ticket.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 06, 2010, 09:29:07 PM
Scallypool  noooo: "We thought he was asleep"  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 14, 2010, 05:59:57 PM
Quote
Handyman injured after chopping down branch he propped his ladder against


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/7589093/Handyman-injured-after-chopping-down-branch-he-propped-his-ladder-against.html

 shutup:

Quote
They also said that his employer should have given him training on where to place the ladder.


 happy001 happy001

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 14, 2010, 06:01:48 PM
Growler?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 14, 2010, 07:01:07 PM
Growler?  eeek:

Nick?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 14, 2010, 07:03:55 PM
Growler?  eeek:

Nick?  eeek:

Barman?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 14, 2010, 07:05:28 PM
Growler?  eeek:

Nick?  eeek:

Barman?  eeek:

Pastis?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on April 15, 2010, 11:26:13 AM
My last MD limped into the office one Monday morning ..... he had been pruning trees in his garden and had sawn through the branch he was sitting on.

Oh how we sympathised  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 19, 2010, 01:35:45 PM
Quote
Extramarital sex 'causes more earthquakes', Iranian cleric claims

 eeek:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 19, 2010, 02:47:28 PM
Quote
Extramarital sex 'causes more earthquakes', Iranian cleric claims
eeek:


"British air transport brought to its knees by 'wrong kind of ash' produced by Bjork Bonking"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 22, 2010, 01:21:22 PM
"Bruce Willis to launch fragrance"









Against whom?  scared2:

 scared:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 25, 2010, 04:24:49 PM
Quote
Foreign Office apologises for Pope 'condom' memo

Softies  noooo:

Scroll back to 1534 ...

Quote
King Henry confirms "Pope! You can piss orf!" memo
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 25, 2010, 04:46:34 PM
Quote
Foreign Office apologises for Pope 'condom' memo

Softies  noooo:

Scroll back to 1534 ...

Quote
King Henry confirms "Pope! You can piss orf!" memo


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 26, 2010, 11:18:19 AM
Quote
Stephen Hawking warns over making contact with aliens

Quote
He explained: "We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet."He explained: "We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet."
  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on April 26, 2010, 11:43:21 AM
Quote
Stephen Hawking warns over making contact with aliens

Quote
He explained: "We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet."He explained: "We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet."
  eeek:


So good he had to say it twice?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 26, 2010, 12:21:05 PM
 redface:

Maybe they gave him a mirror  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 26, 2010, 02:26:20 PM
Do aliens really exist ,then they put Stephen Hawking's picture next to the headline....Bit cruel  ..
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 26, 2010, 02:30:00 PM
The Sun :UK illegal immigrant population could fill a city the size of Birmingham.........

Thought it had ............
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 26, 2010, 03:45:29 PM
Quote
Sumo wrestlers make babies cry at the Naki Sumo crying baby contest in Japan


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2FshBAJ.jpg&hash=e3dfb894e0cb69358c2af71e15f9d036) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gxshBAJ)

 whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 26, 2010, 03:46:30 PM
Quote
Sumo wrestlers make babies cry at the Naki Sumo crying baby contest in Japan


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2FshBAJ.jpg&hash=e3dfb894e0cb69358c2af71e15f9d036[/url]) ([url]http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gxshBAJ[/url])

 whacky115


 noooo:

Do they eat them after...?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 26, 2010, 03:48:28 PM
I like babies, but I couldn't manage a whole one.



















Hat,coat, door
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 28, 2010, 03:34:09 PM
BBC NEWS  "Mcqueen took drugs before suicide">>>>>>>>>

I'd be impressed if he did them after ..................
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 28, 2010, 03:44:49 PM
BBC NEWS  "Mcqueen took drugs before suicide">>>>>>>>>

I'd be impressed if he did them after ..................

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 28, 2010, 03:55:12 PM
apc is coming on well  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 28, 2010, 04:13:30 PM
Kate McCann : Today is a day we should be celebrating with Madeline..........

Bloody right ,look what happened last time you went out celebrating without her !!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 28, 2010, 04:36:02 PM
Kate McCann : Today is a day we should be celebrating with Madeline..........

Bloody right ,look what happened last time you went out celebrating without her !!!!!!!!!!!

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 07, 2010, 08:51:37 AM
The dress that turns into a Coca Cola machine to ward off attackers


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1273919/The-Japanese-ninja-dress-turns-Coca-Cola-machine-ward-attackers.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1273919/The-Japanese-ninja-dress-turns-Coca-Cola-machine-ward-attackers.html)
 whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 07, 2010, 12:38:46 PM
I can just imagine the police report for this sparking off random drugs tests in the department  lol:

"The suspect attempted to steal a comic book but was apprehended by Spider Man with the assistance of The Flash and some Jedi"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8659278.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8659278.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 07, 2010, 12:43:21 PM
Was he shoplifting?

Quote
International Free Comic Day

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 09, 2010, 12:48:02 PM
"Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum"

http://www.newser.com/story/87719/man-dies-after-friends-insert-eel-in-his-rectum.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 09, 2010, 01:36:10 PM
 eeek:

 sick2: sick2: sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on May 12, 2010, 10:24:26 PM
BBC news  "Robin Hood to launch Cannes" ..............

I always thought he had a bow and arrow??????
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 12, 2010, 10:26:16 PM
Oh dear.... noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2010, 12:48:43 PM
Man Fights For Life After Slug-Eating Stunt (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100513/tod-man-fights-for-life-after-slug-eatin-870a197.html)

 sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 13, 2010, 12:52:04 PM
Man Fights For Life After Slug-Eating Stunt ([url]http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100513/tod-man-fights-for-life-after-slug-eatin-870a197.html[/url])

 sick2:


"The disease causes the brain to swell and can be fatal."

Well in his case it will have to swell a lot before it comes into contact with his skull.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2010, 12:55:05 PM
Man Fights For Life After Slug-Eating Stunt ([url]http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100513/tod-man-fights-for-life-after-slug-eatin-870a197.html[/url])

 sick2:


"The disease causes the brain to swell and can be fatal."

Well in his case it will have to swell a lot before it comes into contact with his skull.


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 13, 2010, 04:33:52 PM
Man Fights For Life After Slug-Eating Stunt ([url]http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100513/tod-man-fights-for-life-after-slug-eatin-870a197.html[/url])

 sick2:


I bet he used a 'Slugpoon' to capture the beast!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2010, 04:42:20 PM
Man Fights For Life After Slug-Eating Stunt ([url]http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100513/tod-man-fights-for-life-after-slug-eatin-870a197.html[/url])

 sick2:


I bet he used a 'Slugpoon' to capture the beast!


You mean SlugPoonTM I presume...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 13, 2010, 07:00:01 PM
None other...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2010, 07:02:06 PM
None other...

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 13, 2010, 07:02:53 PM
I invented that  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2010, 07:05:19 PM
I invented that  evil:

No you bloody didn't!  cussing:

Nor Celebrity death Bingo before you start!  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 13, 2010, 07:06:45 PM
Both incredibly brilliant inventions  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2010, 07:08:22 PM
Both incredibly brilliant inventions   ;D ;D ;D

Thanks you!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 13, 2010, 07:08:49 PM
Thieving bastard  censored:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2010, 07:09:27 PM
Thieving bastard  censored:

 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2010, 01:28:15 PM
Quote
Young mother died after doctors failed to spot toilet brush handle lodged in her buttock
eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2010, 01:53:51 PM
As a guess someone got fed up of her moaning  " put a broom up my arse and I'll sweep the floor whilst I'm at it "
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 20, 2010, 02:46:23 PM
Quote
Young mother died after doctors failed to spot toilet brush handle lodged in her buttock
eeek:



 eeek:  For once in my life after the first six months obviously. I am speechless. eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2010, 02:49:17 PM
Quote
Young mother died after doctors failed to spot toilet brush handle lodged in her buttock

 eeek:




 eeek:  For once in my life after the first six months obviously. I am speechless. eeek:



here is the full story. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1279593/Young-mother-died-doctors-failed-spot-toilet-brush-handle-lodged-buttocks.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 20, 2010, 02:55:15 PM
Nope speech hasn't returned. redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 20, 2010, 08:21:27 PM
 eeek:

It must have been a tiny brush or a huge buttock.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2010, 08:22:41 PM
Does this look big in my bum?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 20, 2010, 08:25:22 PM
Who needs police when you have ninjas.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia_pacific/10130346.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia_pacific/10130346.stm)

 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on May 24, 2010, 09:46:10 PM
Not actually a headline but anyone else see the irony in the trouble in Jamaica caused by the drug baron  Christopher Coke......
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 26, 2010, 09:05:21 AM
Not actually a headline but anyone else see the irony in the trouble in Jamaica caused by the drug baron  Christopher Coke......
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 26, 2010, 09:31:56 AM
Only in that he has caused no trouble ~ the problems seems to be that the bloody Yanks want his head on a plate in return for supplying yet more weapons etc to the government.
Nobody out there was worried about him before.

Personally I am getting more than a little pissed off with the fvcking yanks thinking they can rule the world. Time someone took them down a peg or two.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 26, 2010, 03:35:32 PM
You ver only supposed to blow ze bloody doors off.  lol:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10161486.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10161486.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 27, 2010, 05:58:38 AM
You ver only supposed to blow ze bloody doors off.  lol:

[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10161486.stm[/url] ([url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10161486.stm[/url])


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2010, 09:01:30 AM
Lou Reed and wife stage 'high-frequency' dog concert




http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia_pacific/10181186.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia_pacific/10181186.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 30, 2010, 09:19:12 AM
Thanks for the warning!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2010, 09:33:00 AM
Quote
The show, created by Ms Anderson, will last for 20 minutes as she says "dogs don't have a giant concentration span".
point:


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on May 30, 2010, 09:48:07 AM
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-world/2010/05/27/cocaine-addict-left-with-27-day-erection-after-massive-coke-binges-115875-22289901/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2010, 10:02:14 AM
Quote
Surgeons in Santiago, Dominican Republic, said the swelling had been caused by Luis Rodriguez's massive cocaine binges and said any future abuse would cause his penis to die and rot.
eeek:

Good job he's abroad or Miss D would be after his address  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 30, 2010, 10:55:00 AM
27 days ....it's good to know what the bar should be  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2010, 11:15:37 AM
I feel a pole coming on  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 30, 2010, 01:30:30 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 31, 2010, 08:09:25 AM
Knitted breasts now available on NHS  eeek:

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on June 01, 2010, 06:19:59 PM
Quote
Uncle jailed over boy killed by dog in Liverpool


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/10202118.stm

Phew! Not you then Uncle!  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on June 07, 2010, 01:36:20 PM
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-world/2010/06/07/testicles-horror-115875-22315809/

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2010, 02:36:24 PM
 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Bar Wench on June 08, 2010, 07:30:21 PM
Knitted breasts now available on NHS  eeek:

[url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url] ([url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url])


I actually knitted a stack a couple of years ago for a breast cancer charity.  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2010, 07:44:23 PM
Did Mr Wench buy them?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 09, 2010, 07:44:52 AM
Knitted breasts now available on NHS  eeek:

[url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url] ([url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url])


I actually knitted a stack a couple of years ago for a breast cancer charity.  redface:


Don't blush Wenchy ~ I know a wummun who knits jumpers for rescued battery chickens.
Apparently when they come out they have no feathers, Honest.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 09, 2010, 08:37:34 AM
Knitted breasts now available on NHS  eeek:

[url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url] ([url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url])


I actually knitted a stack a couple of years ago for a breast cancer charity.  redface:


Don't blush Wenchy ~ I know a wummun who knits jumpers for rescued battery chickens.
Apparently when they come out they have no feathers, Honest.


You seem to have quite a circle of loopy woman friends.  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2010, 09:31:11 AM
Woman rescued dogs from fire but forgot grandson (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/woman-rescued-dogs-from-fire-but-forgot-grandson-1995295.html)

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 09, 2010, 09:38:49 AM
You've got it all to come. point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2010, 09:40:20 AM
You've got it all to come. point:

Skilos or grandchild...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 09, 2010, 10:39:16 AM
Both me thinks! eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2010, 11:03:00 AM
Both me thinks! eveilgrin:

No, I meant which to leave behind in the conflagration....  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 09, 2010, 12:08:14 PM
Knitted breasts now available on NHS  eeek:

[url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url] ([url]http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/828066-knitted-breasts-now-available-on-nhs[/url])


I actually knitted a stack a couple of years ago for a breast cancer charity.  redface:


Don't blush Wenchy ~ I know a wummun who knits jumpers for rescued battery chickens.
Apparently when they come out they have no feathers, Honest.


You seem to have quite a circle of loopy woman friends.  ;)


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fyaroq.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F04%2Fhammer-and-nail_web.jpg&hash=eb89033d49b86072feb80484c6231651)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 13, 2010, 08:14:22 AM
Man arrested over claim chef was ?tortured by broccoli

Quote
One chef claimed he had his trousers set on fire with a blow torch and had red-hot pans pressed on his arms.
He also says he was stung on the back of his neck with nettles while making a nettle risotto and was beaten with a rolling pin.

He alleges he saw another chef being punished by being held aloft by his legs and having his head dunked in a vat of lukewarm broccoli and Stilton soup which was later served to guests at the Star Inn at Harome, North Yorkshire.

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 13, 2010, 08:15:43 AM
An everyday story of Life in the Ramsey household. whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2010, 06:42:20 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10420131.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/10420131.stm)  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on June 30, 2010, 08:51:49 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1290753/Shopping-makes-men-impotent.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 02, 2010, 01:15:21 PM
This one should appeal to the Petrol Heads  razz:

Quote
Victoria Beckham appointed creative design executive at Range Rover
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 02, 2010, 01:27:19 PM
It'll be curtains for the new Evoque then.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2010, 01:32:39 PM
"Executive" is becoming a stupid word  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2010, 01:34:15 PM
It'll be curtains for the new Evoque then.  noooo:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 02, 2010, 01:36:02 PM
She'll make all the seats into thrones  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 02, 2010, 05:12:42 PM
Prolly pink thrones at that.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 06, 2010, 12:57:23 PM
Crucifixion of Jesus ‘may have been a DIY accident’ |
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/06/24/crucifixion-of-jesus-%E2%80%98may-have-been-a-diy-accident%E2%80%99/

Newly discovered evidence suggests that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, presumed to have been ordered by the Roman prefect Pontius Pilate, may in fact have been a tragic accident caused by Jesus himself while performing some outdoor DIY. Newly discovered evidence suggests that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, presumed to have been ordered by the Roman prefect Pontius Pilate, may in fact have been a tragic accident caused by Jesus himself while performing some outdoor DIY. A respected Christian historian now believes that the Son of God may have inadvertently nailed himself to two planks of wood after getting in a tangle attempting to put up some shelves.

‘Everyone knows that Jesus loved his DIY, and of course he had carpentry in his blood – or would have done if Joseph’s hole-boring kit had been up to it,’ said Dr Charles Forster of Cambridge University. ‘Who can forget the stilts he made for everyday lake crossing, or the cute little pulpit-on-wheels from which he delivered the Sermon on the Mount? People came from miles around to watch his DIY demonstrations, but it now seems he came to a sticky end after doing himself a mischief teaching an open-air class on bookcase construction.’
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2010, 01:58:28 PM
Crucifixion of Jesus ‘may have been a DIY accident’ |
[url]http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/06/24/crucifixion-of-jesus-%E2%80%98may-have-been-a-diy-accident%E2%80%99/[/url]

Newly discovered evidence suggests that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, presumed to have been ordered by the Roman prefect Pontius Pilate, may in fact have been a tragic accident caused by Jesus himself while performing some outdoor DIY. Newly discovered evidence suggests that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, presumed to have been ordered by the Roman prefect Pontius Pilate, may in fact have been a tragic accident caused by Jesus himself while performing some outdoor DIY. A respected Christian historian now believes that the Son of God may have inadvertently nailed himself to two planks of wood after getting in a tangle attempting to put up some shelves.

‘Everyone knows that Jesus loved his DIY, and of course he had carpentry in his blood – or would have done if Joseph’s hole-boring kit had been up to it,’ said Dr Charles Forster of Cambridge University. ‘Who can forget the stilts he made for everyday lake crossing, or the cute little pulpit-on-wheels from which he delivered the Sermon on the Mount? People came from miles around to watch his DIY demonstrations, but it now seems he came to a sticky end after doing himself a mischief teaching an open-air class on bookcase construction.’


 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2010, 02:09:46 PM
Crucifixion of Jesus ‘may have been a DIY accident’ |
[url]http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/06/24/crucifixion-of-jesus-%E2%80%98may-have-been-a-diy-accident%E2%80%99/[/url]

Newly discovered evidence suggests that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, presumed to have been ordered by the Roman prefect Pontius Pilate, may in fact have been a tragic accident caused by Jesus himself while performing some outdoor DIY. Newly discovered evidence suggests that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, presumed to have been ordered by the Roman prefect Pontius Pilate, may in fact have been a tragic accident caused by Jesus himself while performing some outdoor DIY. A respected Christian historian now believes that the Son of God may have inadvertently nailed himself to two planks of wood after getting in a tangle attempting to put up some shelves.

‘Everyone knows that Jesus loved his DIY, and of course he had carpentry in his blood – or would have done if Joseph’s hole-boring kit had been up to it,’ said Dr Charles Forster of Cambridge University. ‘Who can forget the stilts he made for everyday lake crossing, or the cute little pulpit-on-wheels from which he delivered the Sermon on the Mount? People came from miles around to watch his DIY demonstrations, but it now seems he came to a sticky end after doing himself a mischief teaching an open-air class on bookcase construction.’


 happy001


You may not be the best person to laugh at the idea ~ Mr Shins damaged falling off a step ladder and landing on a glass table  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2010, 02:12:59 PM
I wonder if my Irish Catholic MiL would like this  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2010, 03:12:19 PM
I wonder if my Irish Catholic MiL would like this  rubschin:

oh she would!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 06, 2010, 03:58:51 PM
Is it just me?

Every time I see this Northumbria temporary Chief Constable(ess) on the box about the murder hunt.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flcjb.cjsonline.gov.uk%2Farea27%2Fimages%2FSue%2520Sim%2520DCC.JPG&hash=83f2c98e67b81a14f546d4907fe75ec4)




All I can see is:



 (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.naic.edu%2F%7Erxgroup%2Flog%2Fother_images%2Fwg%2Fwendolene.jpg&hash=5aa4fa5d6976144b05b30fd7e9fae6a3)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2010, 04:02:43 PM
Darwin!
 worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy: worthy:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2010, 04:56:46 PM
WOT HE SAID^^^^^^
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 06, 2010, 06:13:42 PM
I wonder if my Irish Catholic MiL would like this  rubschin:

oh she would!  eveilgrin:

For sure. eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 07, 2010, 12:06:32 PM
"Prince: the internet's completely over"

I thought this was going to be one of Prinny's pronouncements until I read it  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 07, 2010, 02:45:14 PM
Err Mr P, would you be so kind as to point us in the direction of this headline...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 07, 2010, 02:48:11 PM
Err Mr P, would you be so kind as to point us in the direction of this headline...


How very remiss of me, MissC  redface:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/7874307/Prince-the-internets-completely-over.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 07, 2010, 02:49:14 PM
Prince = Attention Seeker
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 07, 2010, 03:14:42 PM
Err Mr P, would you be so kind as to point us in the direction of this headline...


How very remiss of me, MissC  redface:

[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/7874307/Prince-the-internets-completely-over.html[/url]


Having just read it I think you were quite right not to put the link in your first post.

Further to Snoopy's comment...

Prince = Tosser
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 08, 2010, 08:48:42 AM
"Monkeys use trees to catapault themselves out of Japanese laboratory"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/7876267/Monkeys-use-trees-to-catapault-themselves-out-of-Japanese-laboratory.html

Conjures up quite a picture  rubschin:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 09, 2010, 09:00:07 AM
George Galloway to make Dusty Springfield musical
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 09, 2010, 10:59:21 AM
George Galloway to make Dusty Springfield musical
 rubschin:



Love the follow up line in the Guardian

"Perhaps he just doesn't know what to do with himself."

 happy001 happy001 happy001








For those too young to remember
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYDzq_Q823o
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 10, 2010, 11:03:53 PM
 Southampton 'cat burglar' reported to police  (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/10555266.stm)

Yeah right, it was the cat
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on July 10, 2010, 11:09:08 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 13, 2010, 07:53:41 AM
Victim of alligator attack could get hand sewn back on after police retrieve it from beast's stomach

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 13, 2010, 07:59:00 AM
And a nice handbag by way of compensation...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 13, 2010, 08:05:21 AM
Octopus in perverted tentacle tangle with glamourpuss
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 13, 2010, 08:07:06 AM
Now you're just making them up.  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: GROWLER on July 13, 2010, 08:07:55 AM
Now you're just making them up.  ::)

Like just about everything else he writes in here too. whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 13, 2010, 08:09:01 AM
 sad32:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 13, 2010, 08:09:51 AM
Octopus in perverted tentacle tangle with glamourpuss

Liar, liar pants on fire!  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 13, 2010, 08:12:55 AM
Octopus steals video camera and swims off with it
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 13, 2010, 09:34:04 AM
Octopus steals video camera and swims off with it

Digital-8 camera was it?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 13, 2010, 09:41:17 AM
Octopus steals video camera and swims off with it

Digital-8 camera was it?

 drumroll:  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 13, 2010, 12:42:15 PM
Octopus in perverted tentacle tangle with glamourpuss

Liar, liar pants on fire!  point:

No, that was the lighter in his pocket  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 13, 2010, 12:54:33 PM
I think Darwin is loosing his touch, pissed and riding a crocodile should have been an easy one.  noooo:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia_pacific/10611973.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia_pacific/10611973.stm)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 13, 2010, 01:46:16 PM
Octopus steals video camera and swims off with it


Digital-8 camera was it?


 drumroll:  lol: lol: lol:


http://scienceblips.dailyradar.com/video/octopus-steals-my-video-camera-and-swims-off-with-it/ (http://scienceblips.dailyradar.com/video/octopus-steals-my-video-camera-and-swims-off-with-it/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 13, 2010, 02:03:25 PM
Octopus steals video camera and swims off with it


Digital-8 camera was it?


 drumroll:  lol: lol: lol:


[url]http://scienceblips.dailyradar.com/video/octopus-steals-my-video-camera-and-swims-off-with-it/[/url] ([url]http://scienceblips.dailyradar.com/video/octopus-steals-my-video-camera-and-swims-off-with-it/[/url])


How coooool is that!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 13, 2010, 02:09:52 PM
WHat? That the octopus filmed the chase?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 13, 2010, 02:15:17 PM
WHat? That the octopus filmed the chase?

Well... sort of... the whole thing really... I would have shat myself...  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 13, 2010, 03:36:30 PM
 lol: lol:

Nice little ditty too!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 14, 2010, 08:09:58 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6UhXivPyw4

Made me giggle. lol:

OK can someone please tell me where the link has gone.  I have just clicked on modify and the link is here but not on the thread. confused:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6UhXivPyw4

OK I have now copied and pasted it, and once again it is here on this modify page but not on the thread. confused: confused:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 14, 2010, 08:46:54 AM
I know how BM likes his distance / size / quantities explained in easy-to-undertsand analogies  ;)

Quote
Fat cleared from London sewers will fill nine double-decker buses
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 14, 2010, 08:51:00 AM
Are they going to send the buses to Scotland for recycling purposes?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 14, 2010, 10:11:14 AM
I know how BM likes his distance / size / quantities explained in easy-to-undertsand analogies  ;)

Quote
Fat cleared from London sewers will fill nine double-decker buses




(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick029.gif&hash=0aa16093822a37ad19fd3b6b667dec3c) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on July 15, 2010, 04:30:36 PM
Nick?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-10650160
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 15, 2010, 05:18:58 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/dorset/3856441.stm


Nick?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 15, 2010, 05:22:12 PM
Oddly I lived next to Ken Thornber when he was a lad. He was, and still is, a pratt
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 15, 2010, 08:27:10 PM
Oddly I lived next to Ken Thornber when he was a lad. He was, and still is, a pratt


http://www3.hants.gov.uk/KenThornber/aboutme.htm?memid=ymcott (http://www3.hants.gov.uk/KenThornber/aboutme.htm?memid=ymcott)

Also ginger if the eyebrows are anything to go by.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 15, 2010, 10:38:50 PM
Oddly I lived next to Ken Thornber when he was a lad. He was, and still is, a pratt
That prat took £41,089 in expenses last year
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 16, 2010, 07:45:05 AM
He looks just like his dad  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 16, 2010, 08:22:12 AM
A new moral panic. This is, apparently, not a spoof! But it is a pile of shite.

http://idle.slashdot.org/story/10/07/15/166220/Sound-As-the-New-Illegal-Narcotic?from=rss&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+Slashdot/slashdot+(Slashdot) (http://idle.slashdot.org/story/10/07/15/166220/Sound-As-the-New-Illegal-Narcotic?from=rss&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+Slashdot/slashdot+(Slashdot))
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 16, 2010, 08:36:06 AM
Oh good grief when will this stupidity stop.  We have been using noise/sound to induce altered states of consciousness since we fell out of the trees. Banghead
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 16, 2010, 08:39:25 AM
Probably why we fell out of the trees in the first place.  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 16, 2010, 08:55:46 AM
Probably why we fell out of the trees in the first place.  ;)
happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 16, 2010, 09:02:20 AM
Probably why we fell out of the trees in the first place.  ;)
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 16, 2010, 10:18:34 AM
http://solsticewitch13.blogspot.com/2010/06/stop-mosque-at-ground-zero-part-ii.html

Americans Stand Up Against Radical Islam in New York - We Will Not Submit!
Not one major network sent a satellite truck or camera crew to this event. Without bloggers this newsworthy event would have remained unknown to the public and history
On Sunday, June 6th, a multi-ethnic, multi-racial coalition of Americans opposed to Islamic violence and intolerance rallied at the site of the World Trade Center in New York City .
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 19, 2010, 08:52:18 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1296003/Muslims-pray-Africa-Mecca-edict-tells-followers-face-wrong-way.html

You'd think someone would have noticed lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on July 19, 2010, 09:06:16 PM
[url]http://solsticewitch13.blogspot.com/2010/06/stop-mosque-at-ground-zero-part-ii.html[/url]

Americans Stand Up Against Radical Islam in New York - We Will Not Submit!
Not one major network sent a satellite truck or camera crew to this event. Without bloggers this newsworthy event would have remained unknown to the public and history
On Sunday, June 6th, a multi-ethnic, multi-racial coalition of Americans opposed to Islamic violence and intolerance rallied at the site of the World Trade Center in New York City .


Did you see that Sarah Palin was trying to Twitter about this but couldn't construct a sentence?  shutup:

In one tweet she asked New Yorkers to refudiate the mosque!  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 23, 2010, 08:55:20 AM
Quote
Even out of office it seems Gordon Brown just can’t seem to get his act together at a social level. He and Sarah were said to have been happy and smiley at their first public outing to a former aide’s wedding a few weeks ago. And, indeed, there was the picture to prove it, with one wedding guest commenting: “The stress of being PM seems to have vanished.” Not, however, the stress of the bride, defeated Labour candidate for Sherwood Emilie Oldknow, and her groom Jonathan Ashworth, former deputy political secretary at Number 10. What the smiley pictures didn’t reveal was that guest-of-honour Gordon was two hours late for the Derbyshire ceremony. Instead of proceeding without him, the entire proceedings were put on hold until the tardy Browns had finished faffing around at their hotel. Other weddings were backed up in the queue and guests arriving for the evening event at plush Breadsall Priory country estate found that the wedding banquet had still not finished. The coup de grace came when the Browns decided to leave early.
noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 23, 2010, 09:04:51 AM
What a waster...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 23, 2010, 09:28:11 AM
What a waster...  noooo:

Once an arse, always an arse.  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 24, 2010, 03:57:14 PM
The end of history, fancy drinking your beer from a dead animal?  eeek:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbcimg.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F48446000%2Fjpg%2F_48446989_brewdog_end_of_history_464.jpg&hash=264dace2c3bd56e473524356ba07b4ea)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-10725024 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-10725024)

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 24, 2010, 04:00:41 PM
Do keep up ol boy  whistle:

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=8167.0 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=8167.0)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 24, 2010, 04:03:01 PM
If the stuff tastes as good as Tactical Nuclear Penguin it's worth 2 entries.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 24, 2010, 04:03:37 PM
An apology would have been sufficient  ;D

For not reading absolutely everything that I post of course  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 24, 2010, 04:09:33 PM
An apology would have been sufficient  ;D

For not reading absolutely everything that I post of course  whistle:

Yes dear...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 24, 2010, 04:13:40 PM
Good boy
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 24, 2010, 09:49:49 PM
Someone else can make the obvious comment. I'm fond of living.  whistle:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1297077/What-happened-woman-driver-tried-park-car-stopped-admire-view.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 25, 2010, 06:34:21 AM
Someone else can make the obvious comment. I'm fond of living.  whistle:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1297077/What-happened-woman-driver-tried-park-car-stopped-admire-view.html[/url]


Miss D doesn't have a car...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 25, 2010, 10:13:59 AM
That's ok, she can borrow the Me Mi when she is next visiting  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 25, 2010, 01:38:47 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-10753021

US bear takes short ride in car and leaves it wrecked!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 27, 2010, 11:46:25 AM
Clarkson does it again. lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1297965/Top-Gears-Jeremy-Clarkson-sparks-fury-burka-babes-underwear-joke.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 27, 2010, 12:05:49 PM
6 million viewers and seven complaints...?  ::)

Rubbish - he needs to try a bit harder in future!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 27, 2010, 12:16:23 PM
Just appeal to his vanity and set him a target. Tell Jezza that Jerry Springer has him beaten hands down  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 27, 2010, 05:43:16 PM
http://bit.ly/9zmG8t

Hay, it's simples! Farmer builds 36ft meerkat sculpture from bales of straw | Mail Online
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2FbjVL9.jpg&hash=bd00af668f5a98389f0b33ec8def2fc4) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=PqbjVL9)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 27, 2010, 05:47:56 PM
That's not far from me. Mad bugger is always making stuff out of straw.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 27, 2010, 11:33:02 PM
Is this what they mean by a shotgun wedding?

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/189591/Photographer-shot-dead-as-bride-and-groom-pose-with-a-guns
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2010, 11:31:21 AM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/07/26/michael-gove-tells-kids-to-build-their-own-schools/ (http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/07/26/michael-gove-tells-kids-to-build-their-own-schools/)  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2010, 02:09:52 PM
That's not far from me. Mad bugger is always making stuff out of straw.

Bloody good icecream though ~ at the farm where they put up the straw statues every year.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on August 06, 2010, 10:00:38 AM
Quote
Man arrested for wife beating blames traditional Turkish dance


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/newzealand/7929568/Man-arrested-for-wife-beating-blames-traditional-Turkish-dance.html

It doesn't look that bad ...  rubschin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t3wBQE9GHQ
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2010, 10:29:29 AM
Women are like walnut trees and dogs ~ they do better after an good beating.  whistle:

http://www.answers.com/topic/a-woman-a-dog-and-a-walnut-tree-the-more-you-beat-them-the-better-they-be
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 06, 2010, 10:31:10 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2010, 10:34:52 AM
 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 06, 2010, 10:35:53 AM
I think I know who would fare better if they even attempted it  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 07, 2010, 01:33:23 AM
Gordons arrived  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1300954/Brian-Blessed-drive-road-users-distraction-new-voice-TomTom.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on August 08, 2010, 01:03:04 AM
BBC News - British student dies two weeks after falling from a balcony in Majorca.







 how high was that balcony!? 
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 08, 2010, 11:26:37 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2FFoWVJ.jpg&hash=aaf44b1575e17fd238696613489d018e) (http://www.postimage.org/)


I wonder what would happen to the likes of us if we did this in their country. cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on August 10, 2010, 12:30:14 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-10922428
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 10, 2010, 02:12:52 PM
Chicken wars. eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on August 10, 2010, 03:05:09 PM
This a serious one -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10922836

Site is too busy!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 10, 2010, 03:37:27 PM
This a serious one -

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10922836[/url]

Site is too busy!


Prosopography  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on August 10, 2010, 03:44:18 PM
This a serious one -

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10922836[/url]

Site is too busy!


Prosopography  eeek:


Slips easily into any conversation and gives your teeth a work out. ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on August 10, 2010, 03:45:20 PM
This a serious one -

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10922836[/url]

Site is too busy!


Prosopography  eeek:


A mappe whyche showes the wereybouts of Laydees on the Knight?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 10, 2010, 03:45:43 PM
This a serious one -

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10922836[/url]

Site is too busy!


Prosopography  eeek:


Slips easily into any conversation and gives your teeth a work out. ;D


It would give my teeth an unscheduled outing.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 10, 2010, 03:48:36 PM
This a serious one -

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10922836[/url]

Site is too busy!


Prosopography  eeek:


A mappe whyche showes the wereybouts of Laydees on the Knight?


Whych bangeth lyke ye drawbryge in ye gayle.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 10, 2010, 03:49:58 PM
Turd in your teeth  angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 15, 2010, 10:47:15 AM
http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-women-use-fatwa-in-driving-bid-1.643431 (http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-women-use-fatwa-in-driving-bid-1.643431)
 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 15, 2010, 11:01:24 AM
 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 15, 2010, 11:22:30 AM
[url]http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-women-use-fatwa-in-driving-bid-1.643431[/url] ([url]http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-women-use-fatwa-in-driving-bid-1.643431[/url])
 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001




Forever hopeful Nick but I think you need a clean driving licence to get the job.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 16, 2010, 11:44:23 AM
[url]http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-women-use-fatwa-in-driving-bid-1.643431[/url] ([url]http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-women-use-fatwa-in-driving-bid-1.643431[/url])
 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001




Forever hopeful Nick but I think you need a clean driving licence to get the job.  whistle:


You could have told Nick before he booked a flight  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 16, 2010, 07:27:35 PM
How long before we see these over here?  eeek:

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/193539/Lazy-bums-get-a-sharp-poke-in-China (http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/193539/Lazy-bums-get-a-sharp-poke-in-China)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 17, 2010, 08:50:10 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/film-news/7946572/Race-is-on-to-make-the-first-3D-porn-movie.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/film-news/7946572/Race-is-on-to-make-the-first-3D-porn-movie.html)
 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 17, 2010, 08:58:52 AM
 rubschin:


The phrase "in your face" comes to mind.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 17, 2010, 06:06:19 PM
rubschin:


The phrase "in your face" cums to mind.

Corrected for you  happy088
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 18, 2010, 05:27:14 AM
rubschin:


The phrase "in your face" cums to mind.

Corrected for you  happy088

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 18, 2010, 08:24:45 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1303855/Burglar-rescued-firemen-getting-stuck-window-6-hours.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1303855/Burglar-rescued-firemen-getting-stuck-window-6-hours.html)

An open and shut case?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 19, 2010, 07:31:23 AM
Quote
Dog mess nearly killed my daughter
  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 19, 2010, 07:35:11 AM
Quote
Dog mess nearly killed my daughter
  eeek:

Did she slip on it or eat it...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 19, 2010, 07:42:50 AM
 Hopefully the little kid will be alright  (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1304091/Toddler-lose-eye-catching-infection-dog-mess-park.html?ito=feeds-newsxml). ON TV this morning they weren't talking of her dying but were still concerned about the eye. Bloody irresponsible dog owners
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 27, 2010, 09:28:39 AM
We will shortly be crashing...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1306627/Brace-impact--crash-Terrified-plane-passengers-hear-crash-warning-mistake.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1306627/Brace-impact--crash-Terrified-plane-passengers-hear-crash-warning-mistake.html)
 razz: razz: razz:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 27, 2010, 09:34:40 AM
We will shortly be crashing...

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1306627/Brace-impact--crash-Terrified-plane-passengers-hear-crash-warning-mistake.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1306627/Brace-impact--crash-Terrified-plane-passengers-hear-crash-warning-mistake.html[/url])
 razz: razz: razz:




 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 27, 2010, 09:56:37 AM
Quote
Other reports suggest that one of the myriad buttons and switches in the 747 cockpit may have inadvertently been nudged by one of the flight crew.
eeek:
Well at least it wasn't the 'reset' button or the one that opens the sunroof.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on August 27, 2010, 07:30:04 PM
Quote
Economy grew 'more than thought'


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11107415

Oh!  More than first thought?  Well, thought often comes afterwards  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on August 27, 2010, 08:04:00 PM
Quote
Other reports suggest that one of the myriad buttons and switches in the 747 cockpit may have inadvertently been nudged by one of the flight crew.
eeek:
Well at least it wasn't the 'reset' button or the one that opens the sunroof.

or the ejector seat
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on September 01, 2010, 10:55:55 AM
 eeek:
Quote
Student who electrocuted his nipples sues teacher...for not warning him it was dangerous


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1307901/Student-electric-shocked-nipples-sues-teacher-warning-him.html#ixzz0yH3QNiap
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on September 01, 2010, 10:59:58 AM
Quote
Man blows himself up trying to kill a spider


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7973024/Man-blows-himself-up-trying-to-kill-a-spider.html

Let that be a warning!   shutup:   lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 01, 2010, 11:04:01 AM
Quote
'Maddening' Gordon drove me to drink: Tony Blair memoirs lay blame for election disaster with 'zero emotional intelligence' Brown


 eeek:

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1307904/Tony-Blairs-memoirs-Maddening-Gordon-Brown-drove-drink.html#ixzz0yH608V6L
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 02, 2010, 12:38:36 AM
 eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:

http://mashable.com/2010/08/31/virtual-girlfriend-vacation/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 02, 2010, 09:35:59 AM
Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat has emptied his sack...  whistle:

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/196986/Village-postmistress-sets-up-shop-as-100-prostitute
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on September 02, 2010, 09:43:50 AM


Good for her ~ if that's what it takes all credit to the lass.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 02, 2010, 09:46:19 AM
It's the government's fault for closing the post office!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 02, 2010, 09:48:38 AM


Good for her ~ if that's what it takes all credit to the lass.

Truth be told I agree Snoop, just couldn't get the Postman Pat tune out of my head as I read the article.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 02, 2010, 05:54:55 PM
Err thanks Grumpmeister I could do without the image I now have in my mind but good for her.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 03, 2010, 01:13:48 AM
Call it payback for the earworm the other day  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 03, 2010, 11:43:12 PM
You want the stewardess to land the plane in a crisis?  eeek: eeek: eeek:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308852/Let-stewardesses-land-plane-crisis-says-Ryanair-boss-Airline-wants-ditch-pilots.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 04, 2010, 08:11:52 AM
Michael O'Leary knows how to get a headline and thus free publicity.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2010, 08:24:50 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html)
 point: point: point: point: point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 04, 2010, 08:31:27 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html[/url])
 point: point: point: point: point:



I wonder if with hindsight (and re-checking their notebooks) the alleged drunk driver will be responsible for this...?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2010, 08:32:34 AM
I suspect they will give him a hard time  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on September 04, 2010, 10:47:20 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html[/url])
 point: point: point: point: point:



I wonder if with hindsight (and re-checking their notebooks) the alleged drunk driver will be responsible for this...?


If a drunk driver crashes and damages his/her car I think I'm right in saying that their insurance is invalid?

However, the car was Ok when he was arrested, then the Police wrote it off. I assume that this bloke will be able to claim fro the damage caused and will also be seeking recompense for inconvenience  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 04, 2010, 11:42:00 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308798/Joyriding-police-officers-crash-suspects-high-powered-sports-car.html[/url])
 point: point: point: point: point:



I wonder if with hindsight (and re-checking their notebooks) the alleged drunk driver will be responsible for this...?


If a drunk driver crashes and damages his/her car I think I'm right in saying that their insurance is invalid?


However, the car was Ok when he was arrested, then the Police wrote it off. I assume that this bloke will be able to claim fro the damage caused and will also be seeking recompense for inconvenience  rubschin:


A common misconception - you are insured, however, the insurer will reduce any claim due to your contributory negligence by being drunk.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 06, 2010, 09:09:25 PM
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/197820/Benefit-scroungers-on-95-000-a-year

A FAMILY of scroungers raking in almost £95,000 a year in benefits caused outrage last night after trashing one home and then getting a new four-bedroom house at taxpayers’ expense.
Peter and Sam Smith have been given the £960 a week property in Bristol to house their 10 children.
The family were kicked out of their previous home in Bath after a wrecking spree caused £20,000 damage and left it unfit for habitation.



Oh joy...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 07, 2010, 07:29:44 AM
[url]http://www.anorak.co.uk/258213/strange-but-true/half-naked-cumbrian-woman-masturbated-whilst-driving-on-motorway-after-she-wet-herself.html[/url
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 07, 2010, 08:51:05 AM
 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 07, 2010, 09:02:42 AM
 lol: lol:

I followed the links (no excuse ~ prurient interest  ;)) I enjoyed this comment on the local paper:

Gutter Press indeed, poor lady. The lorry driver is a bit of a plonker too; I'm a driver and I've seen the lot, (but sadly not the naked M5 lady driver!) I've had a naked couple driving alongside me, a bloke in a lady's mini dress pleasuring himself, four pretty girls on the back seat of a coach raising their rugby shirts, a girl in the back of a coach mooning at me, (A nicer sight than the builder, he had a big yellow zit on his posterior!) And of course the transvestite who struts his stuff down Rugeley way! But ring the Police? Give over!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on September 08, 2010, 08:34:35 AM
Erm -

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/2381033.Man_cut_free_from__S_M__chastity_belt_by_firemen/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 08, 2010, 09:14:24 AM
Erm -

[url]http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/2381033.Man_cut_free_from__S_M__chastity_belt_by_firemen/?ref=mr[/url]


 eeek:

I had no idea Marks and Sparks sold that sort of thing.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 09, 2010, 12:01:31 PM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/04/noddy-and-big-ears-deny-‘improper-relationship’/

In a move that has shaken Toytown to its building block foundations, Noddy has taken the unprecedented step of releasing a statement in an attempt to quell ongoing rumours about the true nature of his relationship with Big Ears.

‘For many years now, our friendship has been the subject of untrue and malicious gossip,’ said the small wooden boy, who strenuously denies allowing Big Ears to play with his bell in return for favours. ‘I realise in hindsight that us sharing a bed may have given rise to this speculation. And my comments about us having a ‘gay old time in the woods’ have been taken entirely out of context.’

Despite his innocence, Noddy has unceremoniously sacked Big Ears as his best friend and banished him to the spare room, a move that has not come a moment too soon for irritated neighbours.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 09, 2010, 01:36:06 PM
Prune heather to have a perfect shaped bush next year.#gardeningtips   eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 09, 2010, 01:38:19 PM
What's her number?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 09, 2010, 01:41:20 PM
[url]http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/04/noddy-and-big-ears-deny-[/url]‘improper-relationship’/

In a move that has shaken Toytown to its building block foundations, Noddy has taken the unprecedented step of releasing a statement in an attempt to quell ongoing rumours about the true nature of his relationship with Big Ears.

‘For many years now, our friendship has been the subject of untrue and malicious gossip,’ said the small wooden boy, who strenuously denies allowing Big Ears to play with his bell in return for favours. ‘I realise in hindsight that us sharing a bed may have given rise to this speculation. And my comments about us having a ‘gay old time in the woods’ have been taken entirely out of context.’

Despite his innocence, Noddy has unceremoniously sacked Big Ears as his best friend and banished him to the spare room, a move that has not come a moment too soon for irritated neighbours.


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 09, 2010, 02:59:54 PM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/09/new-zealanders-appeal-unintelligibly-for-help-after-urthquike/

World governments admitted they were ‘baffled’ last night after the New Zealand government issued a ‘fully incomprehensible’ message about an ‘urthquike’.

‘We just don’t know what they are on about,’ said Foreign Secretary William Hague. ‘There’s something in there about ‘unternetional ide’, but we’re not sure if that’s some kind of soft drink or maybe a chemical or something.’

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton ordered State Department translators to work round-the-clock on deciphering the garbled message. ‘Our best guess is that their second city, which we understand is called ‘Chroistchairch’, has suffered an infestation of rodents called ‘eftershucks’, so we’re sending fifty tons of mousetraps to see if that’s what they’re after.’

Julia Gillard, the newly-reelected prime minister of New Zealand’s English-speaking neighbour Australia, welcomed the US response. ‘She said it was ‘terliddle terlate yabladdy drongos’, Mrs Clinton said. ‘My translators tell me that means ‘God bless America.’


 rubschin: rubschin:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 09, 2010, 03:37:21 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 14, 2010, 11:30:36 AM
http://newsarse.com/2010/08/10/cameron-to-target-people-who-behave-exactly-like-their-mps/



Prime minister David Cameron has announced a crackdown on people who are treating the benefits system like their own private parliamentary expenses account.

Cameron told reporters that benefit cheats making MP-style fraudulent claims, for sums to which they are definitely not entitled, was costing the tax payer £5.2bn a year.

Writing in the Manchester Evening News, the prime minister said that tougher penalties and prosecutions would be introduced to deter people from copying everything their MPs had been doing for years.

“We want to encourage people to shop anyone they find behaving like their MP,” he explained.

“If you’re out at work all day and you get home and find that your neighbour, who is unemployed, is having a leaking pipe replaced on his tennis court, or is having a 5ft duck house installed into his pond then you have every right to be suspicious. After all, you’re almost certainly paying for that.”

Benefit cheats

Multi-millionaire Cameron, who claimed £80,000 in additional costs for his second home in Oxfordshire between 2004 and 2008, has pledged to strain every sinew to cut error, waste and fraud in our welfare system.

Cameron has significant insight into the methods used by those seeking to take advantage of a poorly administered system which gives out seemingly ‘free’ money.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 14, 2010, 11:33:37 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 14, 2010, 11:40:53 AM
[url]http://newsarse.com/2010/08/10/cameron-to-target-people-who-behave-exactly-like-their-mps/[/url]



Prime minister David Cameron has announced a crackdown on people who are treating the benefits system like their own private parliamentary expenses account.

Cameron told reporters that benefit cheats making MP-style fraudulent claims, for sums to which they are definitely not entitled, was costing the tax payer £5.2bn a year.

Writing in the Manchester Evening News, the prime minister said that tougher penalties and prosecutions would be introduced to deter people from copying everything their MPs had been doing for years.

“We want to encourage people to shop anyone they find behaving like their MP,” he explained.

“If you’re out at work all day and you get home and find that your neighbour, who is unemployed, is having a leaking pipe replaced on his tennis court, or is having a 5ft duck house installed into his pond then you have every right to be suspicious. After all, you’re almost certainly paying for that.”

Benefit cheats

Multi-millionaire Cameron, who claimed £80,000 in additional costs for his second home in Oxfordshire between 2004 and 2008, has pledged to strain every sinew to cut error, waste and fraud in our welfare system.

Cameron has significant insight into the methods used by those seeking to take advantage of a poorly administered system which gives out seemingly ‘free’ money.


 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on September 16, 2010, 11:08:04 AM
MSN News : 'Staggering Increase In Breweries'.


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 16, 2010, 11:14:20 AM
MSN News : 'Staggering Increase In Breweries'.




doh:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2010, 03:17:58 PM
Missionaries to Mars  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1312922/Pope-astronomer-Guy-Consolmagno-Aliens-souls-living-stars.html

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 17, 2010, 10:44:38 PM
"Sperm over the Internet, men found guilty" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11351408)

Any chap who can fit his todger in that little socket on the modem deserves sympathy, not imprisonment.  noooo:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on September 18, 2010, 10:53:40 AM
 That'll teach you to nag  (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1312454/Fiona-Bruce-tries-Victorian-wife-calming-device-Antiques-Roadshow.html?ito=feeds-newsxml)

None on E/bay at the moment
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on September 18, 2010, 11:05:20 AM
 It seems that these days there is more than one born every minute  (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-world/2010/09/14/prat-burglar-crook-leaves-phone-full-of-pics-of-him-at-house-115875-22559677/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 20, 2010, 12:05:25 PM
Goverment considers pretending to upgrade Trident

The Government has been considering the possible cost savings in just pretending to upgrade the Trident ballistic missile system rather than replacing it.

According to a statement from the MOD released this week, a significant percentage of the £20 billion cost of replacing the current Trident submarines could be saved if the current submarines are ‘repainted in some smart modern satiny black paint, and given new names’, or announcing that the government has purchased ‘several new stealthy missile submarines, which are too stealthy to be seen’, or simply just ‘telling the Russians that we have upgraded our deterrent and hoping they believe us’.

Photos of the new submarine fleet will be released ‘just as soon as government ministers have mastered Photoshop’.

bonjonelson
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 21, 2010, 08:59:39 AM
Have you seen this lettuce?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on September 21, 2010, 10:37:44 AM
Have you seen this lettuce?

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url])



 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 21, 2010, 10:40:29 AM
Have you seen this lettuce?

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url])



 eeek:

Is it Mr. Tipsy?  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on September 21, 2010, 10:43:33 AM
Have you seen this lettuce?

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url])



 eeek:

Is it Mr. Tipsy?  point:

  



 ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on September 21, 2010, 04:57:48 PM
Have you seen this lettuce?

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url])


Just as well they added "The man has been described as white, approximately 5ft 8in tall and of medium build", saves anybody grassing on one of the many other green haired people that frequent the Stockbridge area
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 21, 2010, 05:08:00 PM
Funny you should mention that JOM, a few years ago there was  cornish town where a large part of the population ended up with green hair (among other symptoms) when South West Water dumped a load of Aluminium Sulphate in the water supply by mistake.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on September 21, 2010, 05:25:13 PM
Camelford, I remember it well
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 21, 2010, 07:38:54 PM
Have you seen this lettuce?

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313726/Have-seen-iceberg-lettuce-burglar-Police-issue-ludicrous-e-fit-wanted-man.html[/url])


Just as well they added "The man has been described as white, approximately 5ft 8in tall and of medium build", saves anybody grassing on one of the many other green haired people that frequent the Stockbridge area
   drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on September 21, 2010, 08:07:27 PM
I knew that it wouldn't get past you Darwin
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 22, 2010, 10:52:40 PM
You want to know when this volcano is likely to erupt, well call me a pessimist but I suspect not long after you drill a 13,000ft deep hole in its side.  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1313938/Geologists-drill-13-000-feet-hole-volcano-try-erupt.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 23, 2010, 04:31:13 AM
You want to know when this volcano is likely to erupt, well call me a pessimist but I suspect not long after you drill a 13,000ft deep hole in its side.  noooo:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1313938/Geologists-drill-13-000-feet-hole-volcano-try-erupt.html[/url]


Is BP in charge of the drilling?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 23, 2010, 09:05:51 AM
You want to know when this volcano is likely to erupt, well call me a pessimist but I suspect not long after you drill a 13,000ft deep hole in its side.  noooo:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1313938/Geologists-drill-13-000-feet-hole-volcano-try-erupt.html[/url]


Quite so.

"I have a cunning plan to measure the pressure inside this balloon, pass me that hollow needle"  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 23, 2010, 09:28:54 AM
You want to know when this volcano is likely to erupt, well call me a pessimist but I suspect not long after you drill a 13,000ft deep hole in its side.  noooo:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1313938/Geologists-drill-13-000-feet-hole-volcano-try-erupt.html[/url]


Quite so.

"I have a cunning plan to measure the pressure inside this balloon, pass me that hollow needle"  noooo:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on September 23, 2010, 03:42:23 PM
I can't believe that the Cricketers has closed. What's the world coming to?

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/8407933.Pub_crisis_sweeps_through_Merton/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 23, 2010, 04:40:24 PM
You want to know when this volcano is likely to erupt, well call me a pessimist but I suspect not long after you drill a 13,000ft deep hole in its side.  noooo:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1313938/Geologists-drill-13-000-feet-hole-volcano-try-erupt.html[/url]


Quite so.

"I have a cunning plan to measure the pressure inside this balloon, pass me that hollow needle"  noooo:


 lol: lol: lol:


To be honest I'm half expecting to see that their next announcement introduces Nick as part of the team.  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 26, 2010, 11:56:08 AM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/15/majority-of-mac-users-have-second-pc-for-porn/
Majority of Mac users ‘have second PC for porn’

Most Apple Mac users keep a cheap and nasty Windows PC ‘on the side’ for the use of internet pornography, according to a piece of research from Onan-online magazine.

The magazine polled 450 men and found that 85% of Mac owners refused to sully their beloved luxury product with ‘sleazy’ material. ‘It doesn’t feel right using my Mac for you-know-what,’ said Rob Jones, a graphic designer from Stoke Newington. ‘That’s the keyboard I’m writing my novel on.’

Ricardo DeSousa, editor of Onan-Online explains: ‘Having a Mac is like having a really hot model for a girlfriend. She’s expensive and picky but she looks great sat on your table in a coffee bar. A PC maybe a bit embarrassing, but she’s cheap, good to go and she let you plug in two mice at the same time if that’s your thing.’

The survey also found that a lot of men had problems gaining an erection in-front of their Macs. ‘Therefore a lot of guys get a PC on the side, but keep them hidden away in draws or under the bed. They don’t take them out, don’t show them off to friends, they just drag them out when they’re horny. It’s sad but these PCs are normally happy for whatever they can get,’ explained DeSousa...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 26, 2010, 12:07:35 PM
[url]http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/15/majority-of-mac-users-have-second-pc-for-porn/[/url]
Majority of Mac users ‘have second PC for porn’

Most Apple Mac users keep a cheap and nasty Windows PC ‘on the side’ for the use of internet pornography, according to a piece of research from Onan-online magazine.

The magazine polled 450 men and found that 85% of Mac owners refused to sully their beloved luxury product with ‘sleazy’ material. ‘It doesn’t feel right using my Mac for you-know-what,’ said Rob Jones, a graphic designer from Stoke Newington. ‘That’s the keyboard I’m writing my novel on.’

Ricardo DeSousa, editor of Onan-Online explains: ‘Having a Mac is like having a really hot model for a girlfriend. She’s expensive and picky but she looks great sat on your table in a coffee bar. A PC maybe a bit embarrassing, but she’s cheap, good to go and she let you plug in two mice at the same time if that’s your thing.’

The survey also found that a lot of men had problems gaining an erection in-front of their Macs. ‘Therefore a lot of guys get a PC on the side, but keep them hidden away in draws or under the bed. They don’t take them out, don’t show them off to friends, they just drag them out when they’re horny. It’s sad but these PCs are normally happy for whatever they can get,’ explained DeSousa...



 lol: lol: lol:

I don't have a Mac...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 26, 2010, 02:21:05 PM
I beg to differ. noooo:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2FGkTDr.jpg&hash=19ca33a1a379aedb66f0a37d23d14e2e) (http://postimage.org/image/2dye4u63o/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 26, 2010, 02:29:12 PM
I beg to differ. noooo:


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2FGkTDr.jpg&hash=19ca33a1a379aedb66f0a37d23d14e2e[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/2dye4u63o/[/url])



That is a Dirty Mack....  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 27, 2010, 07:37:25 AM
Health and not so safety

Quote
Injury lawyers have helped settle a personal injury claim, for a woman who was left suffering from life-long damages to her leg after a fall as a result of an uncovered drain.

 The woman from Capenhurst, Cheshire, had attended a safety awareness event, which had been set up by the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) where she was walking with a "tightly packed" group of people when she accidently fell into an open drain.

As a result, the mother of two sustained injuries to her metatarsal tendons and her achilles in her right leg and must wear an ankle brace 24 hours a day.
 She is also on painkillers as a result of her injuries.

 She said: "It's painful but I have still got to get on with my job. My animals still need looking after so you just get on with it. I will never be able to play tennis again. It's only a little thing but my kids are both good tennis players and I can't play with them."

 Injury lawyers helped settled the woman's compensation claim for £25,000 for the woman's injuries. The HSE however, denied liability but agreed to settle the claim out of court
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 27, 2010, 07:44:52 AM
Health and not so safety

Quote
Injury lawyers have helped settle a personal injury claim, for a woman who was left suffering from life-long damages to her leg after a fall as a result of an uncovered drain.

 The woman from Capenhurst, Cheshire, had attended a safety awareness event, which had been set up by the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) where she was walking with a "tightly packed" group of people when she accidently fell into an open drain.

As a result, the mother of two sustained injuries to her metatarsal tendons and her achilles in her right leg and must wear an ankle brace 24 hours a day.
 She is also on painkillers as a result of her injuries.

 She said: "It's painful but I have still got to get on with my job. My animals still need looking after so you just get on with it. I will never be able to play tennis again. It's only a little thing but my kids are both good tennis players and I can't play with them."

 Injury lawyers helped settled the woman's compensation claim for £25,000 for the woman's injuries. The HSE however, denied liability but agreed to settle the claim out of court

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 27, 2010, 09:47:44 AM
The no hole in the wall gang   lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/201939/Boss-bricks-up-bank-in-protest-over-loan-snub
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 27, 2010, 09:49:06 AM
I beg to differ. noooo:


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2FGkTDr.jpg&hash=19ca33a1a379aedb66f0a37d23d14e2e[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/2dye4u63o/[/url])



That is a Dirty Mack....  ::)


Yeesss and your point is?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 27, 2010, 09:51:18 AM
The no hole in the wall gang   lol:

[url]http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/201939/Boss-bricks-up-bank-in-protest-over-loan-snub[/url]


Excellent we need more people like him. ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 27, 2010, 09:53:00 AM
The no hole in the wall gang   lol:

[url]http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/201939/Boss-bricks-up-bank-in-protest-over-loan-snub[/url]


Excellent!  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 27, 2010, 12:25:23 PM
Segway scooter firm owner dies after riding off cliff

 eeek:

The British owner of the firm that makes the Segway scooter died after riding one of the futuristic two-wheeled machines over a cliff and into a river, police said Monday.

The body of millionaire Jimi Heselden, 62, was discovered in the River Wharfe near his home in the town of Boston Spa in northern England on Sunday, said a spokeswoman for West Yorkshire Police.

"A Segway-style vehicle was recovered from the scene,"  adding that police were called to the scene after reports of a man "apparently having fallen from the cliffs above".

"The incident is not believed to be suspicious," she added.

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 27, 2010, 03:12:52 PM
Ed vows to change the world...


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2FetcsS.jpg&hash=975ec09bec51d0bb04a0a05b3b98776f) (http://postimage.org/image/td9kchvo/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 27, 2010, 03:40:54 PM
Ed vows to change the world...


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2FetcsS.jpg&hash=975ec09bec51d0bb04a0a05b3b98776f[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/td9kchvo/[/url])



 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 27, 2010, 03:45:23 PM
Segway scooter firm owner dies after riding off cliff

 eeek:

The British owner of the firm that makes the Segway scooter died after riding one of the futuristic two-wheeled machines over a cliff and into a river, police said Monday.

The body of millionaire Jimi Heselden, 62, was discovered in the River Wharfe near his home in the town of Boston Spa in northern England on Sunday, said a spokeswoman for West Yorkshire Police.

"A Segway-style vehicle was recovered from the scene,"  adding that police were called to the scene after reports of a man "apparently having fallen from the cliffs above".

"The incident is not believed to be suspicious," she added.

 rubschin:
rubschin:

Smacks of "Westworld" to me.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 27, 2010, 03:57:58 PM
I think that may be the same chappy who asked me for directions the other day  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 27, 2010, 03:59:33 PM
I think that may be the same chappy who asked me for directions the other day  redface:

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on September 27, 2010, 04:45:46 PM
Segway scooter firm owner dies after riding off cliff

... the police were called to the scene after reports of a man "apparently having fallen from the cliffs above".


Having been to Boston Spa and knowing it's very flat, I'd say it's very suspicious  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 27, 2010, 05:06:41 PM
Segway scooter firm owner dies after riding off cliff

... the police were called to the scene after reports of a man "apparently having fallen from the cliffs above".


Having been to Boston Spa and knowing it's very flat, I'd say it's very suspicious  rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 27, 2010, 11:40:26 PM
I think that may be the same chappy who asked me for directions the other day  redface:

Satnick?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 28, 2010, 07:46:21 AM
Danone announce discovery of ‘Digestifus Flirtius’, ‘Bifidus Jocularis’; others

In a development sure to send shockwaves through both the scientific and probiotic communities, research scientists from Danone, makers of Activia yoghurt and Actimel drink, today announced the discovery of several new types of bacteria that were neither friendly nor unfriendly, but often completely indifferent.

‘Everything we thought we knew about bacteria was wrong,’ announced Dr Stefan Pastiche, head of bacteria science at Danone’s R&D facility at Palaiseau, near Paris. ‘Tomorrow, we must all begin the task of rewriting the bacteria text-books.’

Until now, scholars have thought that bacteria were either ‘friendly’ like the ones in Yakult or ‘unfriendly’ like the germs on your chopping-board or toilet seat, but if the results of Danone’s five-year research project are verified, that was an oversimplification at best, and at worst, just plain wrong.

Danone’s research reveals that what we thought were simply ‘friendly’ bacteria, are in fact divided into ‘flirtatious bacteria’, ‘witty bacteria’ and ‘good-listener bacteria’, whereas ‘unfriendly’ bacteria are divided into ‘surly bacteria’, ‘snide bacteria’ and ‘fuck-your-wife-while-you’re-out-then-shit-in-your-bed bacteria’.





http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/07/07/danone-announce-discovery-of-digestifus-flirtius-bifidus-jocularis-others/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 28, 2010, 03:28:04 PM
I'll warn you now, if you are drinking anything swallow before you click on the link  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315776/The-worst-tattoo-EVER-Man-gets-radio-station-logo-inked-forehead--hes-fooled-DJs-fake-offer-cash.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 28, 2010, 04:58:42 PM
I'll warn you now, if you are drinking anything swallow before you click on the link  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315776/The-worst-tattoo-EVER-Man-gets-radio-station-logo-inked-forehead--hes-fooled-DJs-fake-offer-cash.html[/url]


Holy fuck!  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on September 28, 2010, 05:44:00 PM
 eeek:  I think he has relations in the Appalachians ...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 28, 2010, 05:44:32 PM
eeek:  I think he has relations in the Appalachians ...  whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 28, 2010, 09:29:44 PM
I'll warn you now, if you are drinking anything swallow before you click on the link  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315776/The-worst-tattoo-EVER-Man-gets-radio-station-logo-inked-forehead--hes-fooled-DJs-fake-offer-cash.html[/url]


Holy fuck!  lol: lol: lol:


I never thought I'd hear myself say this but I think this guy managed to out Nick Nick.  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 28, 2010, 10:16:46 PM
I'll warn you now, if you are drinking anything swallow before you click on the link  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315776/The-worst-tattoo-EVER-Man-gets-radio-station-logo-inked-forehead--hes-fooled-DJs-fake-offer-cash.html[/url]


Holy fuck!  lol: lol: lol:


Umm not sure that is allowed under the current terms and conditions.  Abstinence is the way to go allegedly. noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 29, 2010, 03:25:02 AM
I'll warn you now, if you are drinking anything swallow before you click on the link  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315776/The-worst-tattoo-EVER-Man-gets-radio-station-logo-inked-forehead--hes-fooled-DJs-fake-offer-cash.html[/url]


Holy fuck!  lol: lol: lol:


Umm not sure that is allowed under the current terms and conditions.  Abstinence is the way to go allegedly. noooo:


I thought it depended on which side you bat for... or summat...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 29, 2010, 05:43:03 AM
Glamour model Katie Price has been found guilty of not being in proper control of her pink horsebox (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-11430141)

happy001













 redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 29, 2010, 08:37:14 AM
This weekend's Daily Misogynist Daily Mail, carried an article about a London doctor who is diagnosing some of his patients with ‘computer face.' This is an affliction that only impacts women (apparently) and the theory goes something like this: When you stare at the computer screen for long periods of time, you tend to frown, which causes lines and crow's feet as you squint to read whatever is on the screen. In addition, because you look down at the computer screen, it puts your head at an angle that shortens your neck muscles, resulting in those really attractive jowls, also known as ‘turkey neck.'
The doctor recommends that you keep a mirror next to your computer so that you can see the face that you make when you are reading, surfing and typing. Well, I did it and I definitely have a severe case of ‘computer face.' Either that or I just look angry all the time.
Strangely enough, my ‘computer face' became even more pronounced when I realized that the good doctor's cure for the condition is Botox - which coincidentally can be injected into your face at his expensive clinic.
Perhaps if there were less people preying on women's fears and insecurities about their appearance in order to sell them stuff, there wouldn't be a need to cure, or even diagnose ‘computer face.'
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 29, 2010, 08:39:09 AM
This weekend's Daily Misogynist Daily Mail, carried an article about a London doctor who is diagnosing some of his patients with ‘computer face.' This is an affliction that only impacts women (apparently) and the theory goes something like this: When you stare at the computer screen for long periods of time, you tend to frown, which causes lines and crow's feet as you squint to read whatever is on the screen. In addition, because you look down at the computer screen, it puts your head at an angle that shortens your neck muscles, resulting in those really attractive jowls, also known as ‘turkey neck.'
The doctor recommends that you keep a mirror next to your computer so that you can see the face that you make when you are reading, surfing and typing. Well, I did it and I definitely have a severe case of ‘computer face.' Either that or I just look angry all the time.
Strangely enough, my ‘computer face' became even more pronounced when I realized that the good doctor's cure for the condition is Botox - which coincidentally can be injected into your face at his expensive clinic.
Perhaps if there were less people preying on women's fears and insecurities about their appearance in order to sell them stuff, there wouldn't be a need to cure, or even diagnose ‘computer face.'

I can't believe anything on here would make you frown...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 29, 2010, 08:48:49 AM
Glamour model Katie Price has been found guilty of not being in proper control of her pink horsebox ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-11430141[/url])

happy001













 redface:


The horse box was specially painted to match her latest beauty treatment

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.dailyexpress.co.uk%2Fimg%2Fdynamic%2F80%2F285x214%2F202344_1.jpg&hash=5214488e8eab9c585299b16de75b3370)

 whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on September 29, 2010, 08:55:25 AM
Glamour model Katie Price has been found guilty of not being in proper control of her pink horsebox ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-11430141[/url])

happy001













 redface:


The horse box was specially painted to match her latest beauty treatment

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.dailyexpress.co.uk%2Fimg%2Fdynamic%2F80%2F285x214%2F202344_1.jpg&hash=5214488e8eab9c585299b16de75b3370[/url])

 whistle:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 29, 2010, 12:22:29 PM
I bet Tipsy will want one  scared2: scared2:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1316160/The-James-Bond-bike-New-cycle-comes-flamethrowers-ejector-seat.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1316160/The-James-Bond-bike-New-cycle-comes-flamethrowers-ejector-seat.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on September 29, 2010, 06:28:17 PM
Only if they do it in blue or white.  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 29, 2010, 06:33:37 PM
Oooooh , get Miss Fussypants!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on September 29, 2010, 07:03:05 PM
and I would want a double barrel on the front to clear my path of stupid dog walkers cerebral-ly challenged country loving people.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 01, 2010, 12:19:36 PM
Quote
Prisoner hunt ends - five days after he gave himself up

Quote
Police halted a search for a prolific distraction burglar who absconded from a Kent prison after it emerged that he had already handed himself in.

Mark Rhodes, 26, of no fixed abode, was last seen at HMP Standford Hill, in Sheerness, on 18 September.

He was serving a five year sentence for fraud and distraction burglary.

Kent Police appealed for information about his whereabouts on Thursday, five days after he gave himself up to officers in Norwich.

At Thetford Magistrates' Court on Monday, Rhodes was sentenced to eight weeks in prison for being unlawfully at large.

The sentence is to run consecutively with his five year term

A spokesman for Kent Police said: "We have now been advised by Gloucestershire Police that Mark Rhodes actually handed himself in on September 25.
Crimewatch appeal

"We apologise for any inconvenience caused by our issuing the earlier wanted appeal which we only received from Gloucestershire Police yesterday and from Acpo [Association of Chief Police Officers] press office this morning."

Rhodes was originally arrested in Ipswich in May 2009 after his picture appeared on the BBC's Crimewatch programme.

The offences took place in 18 police force areas, and were mainly committed over a four month period during 2009.

The force areas where the offences took place are Avon and Somerset, Cambridgeshire, Devon and Cornwall, Dorset, Derbyshire, Humberside, Gloucestershire, Lancashire, Leicestershire, Lincolnshire, Norfolk, North Yorkshire, Northumbria, Staffordshire, Suffolk, Cheshire, Thames Valley and West Mercia.

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 01, 2010, 12:27:17 PM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/30/commonwealth-games-opening-and-closing-ceremonies-combined-to-save-everyone-the-bother/

There was immense relief last night when it was confirmed that the 2010 Commonwealth Games in New Delhi will be shortened to simply consist of a spectacular and colourful Opening Ceremony followed immediately by an impressive and moving Closing Ceremony.

Organisers decided to pull the plug on the competitive element of the event within hours of the electricity supply finally being connected, citing concerns that firstly the competitors’ accommodation at the Games Village may not stay standing for more than a few more days, and secondly because there’s only so long you can go before a trained monkey security guard cracks and goes for a recuperating athlete eating a banana.....
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 01, 2010, 04:44:52 PM
To misquote Nelson, I see no ship  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1316517/Ice-boat-sinks-sea-BBC-presenters-ship-melts.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 01, 2010, 04:55:00 PM
[url]http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/30/commonwealth-games-opening-and-closing-ceremonies-combined-to-save-everyone-the-bother/[/url]

There was immense relief last night when it was confirmed that the 2010 Commonwealth Games in New Delhi will be shortened to simply consist of a spectacular and colourful Opening Ceremony followed immediately by an impressive and moving Closing Ceremony.

Organisers decided to pull the plug on the competitive element of the event within hours of the electricity supply finally being connected, citing concerns that firstly the competitors’ accommodation at the Games Village may not stay standing for more than a few more days, and secondly because there’s only so long you can go before a trained monkey security guard cracks and goes for a recuperating athlete eating a banana.....


Brilliant article on the express website, let the John Wayne jokes commence  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/202447/Monkeys-hired-to-patrol-Commonwealth-Games-

Quote
Organisers told the Austrian Times that they have also hired an emergency team of cowboys in anticipation of a demonstration by a farmers' group which has threatened to drive hundreds of cows and buffaloes into the city.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2010, 06:37:36 AM
To misquote Nelson, I see no ship  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1316517/Ice-boat-sinks-sea-BBC-presenters-ship-melts.html[/url]


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on October 02, 2010, 06:40:52 AM
Was Turner ish, white and wintery bright but there is fog descending now?  eeek:  Well hair and nails today then i get to collect my new bike.   cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on October 02, 2010, 07:00:06 AM
Was Turner ish, white and wintery bright but there is fog descending now?  eeek:  Well hair and nails today then i get to collect my new bike.   cloud9:

That's the weather, not a headline! Been on the vino?  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2010, 07:03:55 AM
Was Turner ish, white and wintery bright but there is fog descending now?  eeek:  Well hair and nails today then i get to collect my new bike.   cloud9:

That's the weather, not a headline! Been on the vino?  point:

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on October 02, 2010, 07:38:28 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/canada/8037521/Woman-who-shot-dead-her-husband-on-hunting-trip-thinking-he-was-a-bear-cleared.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/canada/8037521/Woman-who-shot-dead-her-husband-on-hunting-trip-thinking-he-was-a-bear-cleared.html)
 scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on October 02, 2010, 11:48:06 AM
Was Turner ish, white and wintery bright but there is fog descending now?  eeek:  Well hair and nails today then i get to collect my new bike.   cloud9:

That's the weather, not a headline! Been on the vino?  point:

 evil:  Doh!  Fix it someone I've got nails. surrender:   

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2010, 11:58:14 AM
Was Turner ish, white and wintery bright but there is fog descending now?  eeek:  Well hair and nails today then i get to collect my new bike.   cloud9:

That's the weather, not a headline! Been on the vino?  point:

 evil:  Doh!  Fix it someone I've got nails. surrender:   



Shant!  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on October 02, 2010, 05:22:06 PM
 evil:  Please yourself, I don't mind being untidy.   ;D

Can we have a really narrow eyes thingywotsit?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on October 02, 2010, 05:23:30 PM
Nuttio  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2010, 05:51:43 PM
evil:  Please yourself, I don't mind being untidy.   ;D

Can we have a really narrow eyes thingywotsit?


This one...? (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-angry051.gif&hash=243847c67f9cb1b7f825ab045f4dfa32) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 02, 2010, 05:56:17 PM
evil:  Please yourself, I don't mind being untidy.   ;D

Can we have a really narrow eyes thingywotsit?


This one...? ([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-angry051.gif&hash=243847c67f9cb1b7f825ab045f4dfa32[/url]) ([url]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php[/url])


You took half an hour to find that?

What a waste of trunnion-reaming or balljoint-hammering time on Me-Mi.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2010, 05:57:26 PM
evil:  Please yourself, I don't mind being untidy.   ;D

Can we have a really narrow eyes thingywotsit?


This one...? ([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-angry051.gif&hash=243847c67f9cb1b7f825ab045f4dfa32[/url]) ([url]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php[/url])


You took half an hour to find that?

What a waste of trunnion-reaming or balljoint-hammering time on Me-Mi.  noooo:


I was watching the telly... while simultaneously removing  rust from the petrol tank...  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 02, 2010, 06:52:05 PM
evil:  Please yourself, I don't mind being untidy.   ;D

Can we have a really narrow eyes thingywotsit?


This one...? ([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-angry051.gif&hash=243847c67f9cb1b7f825ab045f4dfa32[/url]) ([url]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php[/url])


You took half an hour to find that?

What a waste of trunnion-reaming or balljoint-hammering time on Me-Mi.  noooo:


I was watching the telly... while accidentally putting a hole the petrol tank...  redface:


 whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on October 02, 2010, 07:16:08 PM
evil:  Please yourself, I don't mind being untidy.   ;D

Can we have a really narrow eyes thingywotsit?


This one...? ([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-angry051.gif&hash=243847c67f9cb1b7f825ab045f4dfa32[/url]) ([url]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php[/url])


I have forgotten why I needed it now but thanks anyway.   angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2010, 07:21:39 PM
evil:  Please yourself, I don't mind being untidy.   ;D

Can we have a really narrow eyes thingywotsit?


This one...? ([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-angry051.gif&hash=243847c67f9cb1b7f825ab045f4dfa32[/url]) ([url]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php[/url])


I have forgotten why I needed it now but thanks anyway.   angel1


 Banghead
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 03, 2010, 09:29:07 AM
WTF???????  eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:

Quote
Environmental campaigners 10:10 have withdrawn a film showing a teacher graphically exploding two of her students who refuse to reduce their carbon emissions, after complaints.

In a statement, the group apologised to anyone offended.

The film aimed to "bring this critical issue back into the headlines whilst making people laugh", the group said.

Starring Gillian Anderson it was scripted by Richard Curtis, whose films include Four Weddings and a Funeral.

It was directed by a leading commercials director.

In the film, which was subsequently posted to Youtube and which contains disturbing images, a teacher invites her class to take part in the environmental campaign. Two children, who do not want to, are asked why.

The teacher tells them: "Fine, it's absolutely fine. It's your own choice."

But moments later she presses a button and the children explode into a mess.

Similar scenes are played out in an office where four workers are blown up and a football training session where footballer David Ginola, who also says he does not want to do his bit to combat climate change, disappears in an explosion.

In the final scene, Gillian Anderson, who provides the voice- over is similarly dispatched after saying she thought doing the voice over was enough of a contribution to the campaign.

'This is dreadful'
 
Comments left on the Guardian website where the film was posted before being taken down on the 10:10 site, were split between those congratulating the team and others who thought it was in bad taste.

"I think this is dreadful," said one comment.

"To suggest that people who disagree with you deserve to die is incredibly stupid. Imagine if some Christian group in the US did that to gays, Muslims, or anyone else they disagree with. The outrage would be palpable. And deserved.

"It's like a parody of something that people mocking enviros would do."

Lizze Gillett, Global Campaign Director for 10:10, told the BBC: "As you can see from various comments and social media sites some people thought it was funny and a good tool to get people talking about climate change but others strongly disliked the mini-movie. We decided to take it off our website to avoid upsetting people. "

In the official campaign statement, the group said: "At 10:10 we're all about trying new and creative ways of getting people to take action on climate change. Unfortunately in this instance we missed the mark. Oh well, we live and learn."

However, 10:10 said they would not make any attempt "to censor or remove other versions currently in circulation on the internet."


And here is the film, it's certainly not for the squeamish

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx4yr0FFhMQ&has_verified=1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 03, 2010, 09:31:40 AM
Somebody tell him  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2010, 09:32:08 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 03, 2010, 09:39:41 AM
WTF???????  eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:

Quote
Environmental campaigners 10:10 have withdrawn a film showing a teacher graphically exploding two of her students who refuse to reduce their carbon emissions, after complaints.

In a statement, the group apologised to anyone offended.

The film aimed to "bring this critical issue back into the headlines whilst making people laugh", the group said.

Starring Gillian Anderson it was scripted by Richard Curtis, whose films include Four Weddings and a Funeral.

It was directed by a leading commercials director.

In the film, which was subsequently posted to Youtube and which contains disturbing images, a teacher invites her class to take part in the environmental campaign. Two children, who do not want to, are asked why.

The teacher tells them: "Fine, it's absolutely fine. It's your own choice."

But moments later she presses a button and the children explode into a mess.

Similar scenes are played out in an office where four workers are blown up and a football training session where footballer David Ginola, who also says he does not want to do his bit to combat climate change, disappears in an explosion.

In the final scene, Gillian Anderson, who provides the voice- over is similarly dispatched after saying she thought doing the voice over was enough of a contribution to the campaign.

'This is dreadful'
 
Comments left on the Guardian website where the film was posted before being taken down on the 10:10 site, were split between those congratulating the team and others who thought it was in bad taste.

"I think this is dreadful," said one comment.

"To suggest that people who disagree with you deserve to die is incredibly stupid. Imagine if some Christian group in the US did that to gays, Muslims, or anyone else they disagree with. The outrage would be palpable. And deserved.

"It's like a parody of something that people mocking enviros would do."

Lizze Gillett, Global Campaign Director for 10:10, told the BBC: "As you can see from various comments and social media sites some people thought it was funny and a good tool to get people talking about climate change but others strongly disliked the mini-movie. We decided to take it off our website to avoid upsetting people. "

In the official campaign statement, the group said: "At 10:10 we're all about trying new and creative ways of getting people to take action on climate change. Unfortunately in this instance we missed the mark. Oh well, we live and learn."

However, 10:10 said they would not make any attempt "to censor or remove other versions currently in circulation on the internet."


And here is the film, it's certainly not for the squeamish

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx4yr0FFhMQ&has_verified=1[/url]


Nick linked to it here somewhere... I thought it was a bloody joke when I watched it first... an almighty piss take... It was only after that I realised it was for real...

Utter fuckers!  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 03, 2010, 11:42:04 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IrtItfWn1E&feature=player_embedded

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 03, 2010, 04:38:45 PM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/10/03/tories-to-train-the-homeless-to-improve-their-begging-skills/#

Tories to train the homeless to improve their begging skills

The Conservative Party showed its compassionate side yesterday when Iain Duncan Smith announced a series of training initiatives aimed at helping the homeless by improving their begging techniques.

Seen as central to the idea of the Tories’ Big Society, in which every citizen takes responsibility for his or herself and their community, Duncan Smith told a packed conference hall, ‘We need to do more to help these people help themselves. I am ashamed of the state that our country has allowed these people to get into. Their general level of skills is deplorable. Can no-one play an instrument, sing a song or do a funny little dance any more?’

The proposal would see a nationwide programme of lessons in music, dance and marketing for the homeless, carefully designed to increase their earning potential. ‘At the very least we should be teaching them better Big Issue selling techniques than just shouting ‘Big Issue!’’ he added.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 04, 2010, 07:26:32 AM
Excellent ~ lend us a quid.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 04, 2010, 12:29:20 PM
This may sound callous but if you are stupid enough to neck a pint of vodka in one then its safe to say the gene pool is a little cleaner now  noooo:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-11437449
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2010, 12:34:19 PM
This may sound callous but if you are stupid enough to neck a pint of vodka in one then its safe to say the gene pool is a little cleaner now  noooo:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-11437449[/url]


Agreed...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 04, 2010, 01:23:39 PM
Darwin, if the turnips aren't selling this could be worth looking in to  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/197115/The-world-s-first-one-million-star-hotel
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 04, 2010, 02:46:30 PM
Darwin, if the turnips aren't selling this could be worth looking in to  lol:

[url]http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/197115/The-world-s-first-one-million-star-hotel[/url]
rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 04, 2010, 02:56:26 PM
Bounce a turnip of his bonce and he'll see stars alright
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft0.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3Ao1zERQlQ9iuZYM%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Ffreedomvending.co.nz%2Fimages%2FYellow_seeing_stars.gif%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=5fb711667eff2c191ea3991775ac382f)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 04, 2010, 06:02:47 PM
Not quite Moriarty  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1317573/The-dumbest-burglar-Britain-Crook-caught-stealing-neighbours-net-curtains--hanging-window.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 06, 2010, 10:10:19 PM
Das Kanal Boot  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1318252/German-U-boat-invasion-Replica-WWII-killer-seas-cruises-alongside-barges-British-CANAL.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 07, 2010, 05:16:27 AM
Das Kanal Boot  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1318252/German-U-boat-invasion-Replica-WWII-killer-seas-cruises-alongside-barges-British-CANAL.html[/url]


Only the Daily Fail could use 'replica', 'exact replica', 'identical U-boat super structure', to describe a canal boat with a bit of plywood nailed over the windows and painted grey!  ;D


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2010%2F10%2F06%2Farticle-1318252-0B80CD84000005DC-238_634x344.jpg&hash=72747c6fbcda2e5515bc1ef2fe50f59b)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmarcfighters.combatace.com%2Fscreens%2FU-boat.jpg&hash=900f63d4ddf60ab577d1fb34ff0fb3b8)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 08, 2010, 07:47:53 PM
Indifferent or lucky for most of us but Nick's computer will explode.  whistle:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1318877/Could-lucky-day-Or-10-10-10-prove-date-systems-grind-halt.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 08, 2010, 08:04:17 PM
Indifferent or lucky for most of us but Nick's computer will explode.  whistle:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1318877/Could-lucky-day-Or-10-10-10-prove-date-systems-grind-halt.html[/url]


We all remember how disastrous the millennium bug was...  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2010, 07:21:41 AM
http://www.londonspinonline.com/2010/10/woman-who-became-orgasmic-over-eric.html (http://www.londonspinonline.com/2010/10/woman-who-became-orgasmic-over-eric.html)  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on October 13, 2010, 09:39:02 PM
 Poo-power  (http://inhabitat.com/2010/10/11/poo-power-200-homes-in-uk-heated-by-human-waste/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on October 13, 2010, 09:41:54 PM
 Brewery power  (http://www.energysavingtrust.org.uk/Resources/Energy-saving-news/Product/UK-homes-supplied-with-gas-from-brewery-waste/(energysavingtrust)/787279)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 14, 2010, 03:52:37 AM
Poo-power  ([url]http://inhabitat.com/2010/10/11/poo-power-200-homes-in-uk-heated-by-human-waste/[/url])


I heard the guy behind this pleading for more government taxpayer's cash on the radio the other day...  ::)

British Gas. If this really was a cost effective way of generating power from waste you wouldn't need government taxpayer's cash, you'd be buying up every sewage farm that you could get your hands on before rivals seized the opportunity. Now piss off!  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 14, 2010, 07:28:18 AM
EXACTLY!

If something is that good it'll be self financing.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 14, 2010, 10:44:27 AM
EXACTLY!

If something is that good it'll be self financing.

Bastards!  cussing:

See also: Wind Farms!  Angry9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2010, 07:32:55 AM
Blackburn man on octopus porn charge (http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/8456630.Blackburn_man_on_octopus_porn_charge/)

Do what now?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 07:37:04 AM


I cannot imagine  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2010, 07:42:49 AM
Quote
A 42-YEAR-OLD man from Blackburn has been charged with possessing octopus porn.

Wayne Topping faces 24 allegations, including 12 counts of indecent assault on a girl under 16, and two counts of gross indecency on a girl under 16.

Topping, originally from the Johnston Street area, is also charged with 10 offences relating to images of animal pornography, from the lowest level one to the highest level five of seriousness.

Among those charges, he faces a count of possessing an extreme pornographic image.

Hang him...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 08:45:43 AM


An Octopus?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 16, 2010, 08:47:57 AM
Must be the suckers  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2010, 08:49:16 AM


An Octopus?  eeek:

I know!  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 08:50:10 AM


An Octopus?  eeek:

I know!  eeek:

You do?  eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 16, 2010, 08:52:48 AM
Mr Tickle of Pissouri
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 08:55:30 AM

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2010, 09:16:50 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on October 16, 2010, 09:45:11 AM
Did I dream that story on the wireless about squirrels cutting car brake cables?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 09:47:41 AM
No ~ I heard it too. Load of bollox if you ask me.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 16, 2010, 01:21:38 PM
Cars don't have brake cables - they have rubber pipes. The squirrels (and foxes) chew through them to get at the brake fluid that they like. Even though it probably kills them.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 04:30:30 PM
The hand brakes on all three cars parked in my drive are cable operated.  whistle:

I note also that the same squirrels stand accused of chewing through telephone cables in the report in today's Telegraph (Page 5).

Mind you the matter has been investigated by Wiltshire Police and it was their predecessors that fell for the old Moon-rakers story.





For further reading on braking systems: http://moodle.student.cnwl.ac.uk/moodledata_shared/cdx%20etextbook/dswmedia/brakes/brake/systems/parkingbrakes.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 16, 2010, 04:55:55 PM
For clarification, the brake pipes nibbled at by squirrel's would be the front brakes, which are all hydraulic. The handbrake does indeed use cables, but purely to actuate the hydraulic slave cylinder in the rear wheel hub.

Main braking via cables is simply not allowed today. For very good reasons. Cables rust, stick and break. Hydraulics don't go wrong (although their performance deteriorates if not regularly changed) and are thus as close to a "fail safe" system as is possible in mass production. The shame is that manufacturers could easily put braided hoses on their brake pipes but choose not to, to probably save about £50 per car. Shameful.

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 04:59:50 PM
Only pointing out what the Wiltshire Rozzers are saying
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8067516/Police-probe-into-vandalism-leads-to-a-gang-of-...-squirrels.html

But interestingly Kent cops were at it a year ago blaming foxes
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6760231/Saboteurs-targeting-car-brakes-are-group-of-foxes.html



Prolly depends on who they can beat get a confession out of. whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on October 16, 2010, 05:09:51 PM
 Man has sex with goat  (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2010, 05:13:46 PM
Man has sex with goat  ([url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece[/url])


 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 16, 2010, 05:15:58 PM
Quote
British Transport Police Detective Inspector Dave Crinnion, who investigated, said: "I saw the goat the next day ? it did not seem too upset but it is difficult to tell."
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on October 16, 2010, 07:37:06 PM
Jobless Hall, from Hull, was initially arrested by the Humberside Police Dog Section, but had to be released as the dog did not fancy him in the end  ([url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece[/url])





Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 19, 2010, 06:34:30 PM
Saudi Prince Who Is Definitely Not Gay Convicted Of Murdering Servant

 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on October 19, 2010, 06:47:59 PM
Is that from the Not Gay News?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on October 19, 2010, 07:01:15 PM
I heard his name on the radio news tonight; went off to cook dinner and they were still reading it when I came back  eeek:

Saudi bin alli bin talla machmoud bin whahooli bin gayo al-mash'da Prince saud alli together now bin laden bin emptied on Fridays bin duty free Saud or something  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 19, 2010, 07:03:43 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 19, 2010, 07:04:54 PM
happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 19, 2010, 10:34:38 PM
I heard his name on the radio news tonight; went off to cook dinner and they were still reading it when I came back  eeek:

Saudi bin alli bin talla machmoud bin whahooli bin gayo al-mash'da Prince saud alli together now bin laden bin emptied on Fridays bin duty free Saud or something  ;D
  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 20, 2010, 06:16:11 PM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/10/18/geldof-hails-g20-deal-on-first-world-debt/



Anti-poverty campaigner Bob Geldof has today hailed as historic an agreement that will see billions of dollars of debt owed by the world’s richest countries wiped out.

‘This is fantastic news’ Geldof told reporters, ‘but it’s been a long time coming. Do you have any idea how crippling these debts are to countries like the UK? The British government has to pay a staggering £120 million a day in interest charges. That’s £120 million a day that could be spent on building schools and nuclear powers stations, or on funding wars in the Middle East, or on a really hard-hitting TV and poster campaign to get quite tubby people out jogging. We have to wipe out these debts NOW or the civil servants of Britain are going to suffer.’
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 21, 2010, 10:09:52 AM
I do so hope that this is true.

Outside Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses.
For 25 years, it's parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were for cars (£1.40), for buses (about £7).
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day off work, he just didn't show up for work The Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility.
The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee. The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy ... is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own, and then, had simply begun to show up every day, to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day -- for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds ... and no one even knows his name.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 21, 2010, 10:13:14 AM

It would be nice to think it is true and that someone really has pulled it off BUT this is an urban myth that has been doing the rounds for several years now. Pity.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 21, 2010, 10:22:16 AM
A few more myths from Bristol (including the car park one) ....... written in 2007.
http://criswarren.blogspot.com/2007/04/more-urban-myths.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 21, 2010, 12:19:39 PM
Irish police investigate wallaby party death claim

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/20/wallaby-party-death-claim-dublin (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/20/wallaby-party-death-claim-dublin)

Irish police are investigating claims that a wallaby died after being plied with alcohol at a birthday party in Dublin last weekend.

The marsupial was let loose among more than 150 revellers dancing to the theme tune of the Australian television show Skippy the Bush Kangaroo at the Clarion hotel, in Liffey Valley, it was claimed.

Complaints from animal welfare campaigners have sparked an official garda investigation.

Alexander Scholl, the owner of Australian Super Circus Sydney, situated 500 metres from the hotel, told detectives that he had two wallabies – Skippy and Sydney – but denied that either had been involved in the alleged incident.

"They think it was one of my wallabies, but it definitely was not," he said. "I would never lend them out to a nightclub with all the noisy music.

"Someone told them the wallaby was dead. I said if it is dead then it is not one of my wallabies. I showed them Skippy and Sydney."



 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 22, 2010, 02:25:33 PM
Actually ‘Bangor was shite’ admits lead singer

Cathy Lesurf, lead singer of English folk band Fiddlers Dram has admitted that on the day they went to Bangor back in the summer of 1979, it was in fact overcast and the day was largely ruined by a constant drizzle and hostile locals.

Cathy, who has failed to have another hit since reaching No. 3 in 1979 remembers the day vivdly; ‘Didn’t we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor…did we bollocks’ fumed Lesurf, when pressed on the matter; ‘it was an absolute fucking nightmare I can tell you. Have you ever tried walking round Bangor town centre in a kaftan and a pair of open-toed sandals in the pouring rain? Nightmare. It was chucking it down when we arrived and it just went from bad to worse as soon as we got out of the van.’



http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/07/02/actually-bangor-was-shite-admits-lead-singer/



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zi4bn-1NME
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 22, 2010, 02:32:39 PM
And I can assure you that nothing has changed! Fecking awful place  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 22, 2010, 02:36:51 PM
And I can assure you that nothing has changed! Fecking awful place  evil:

I totally agree, I only ever went there once that was more than enough.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 22, 2010, 03:12:49 PM
And I can assure you that nothing has changed! Fecking awful place  evil:

I totally agree, I only ever went there once that was more than enough.

Was you kaftan OK?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 22, 2010, 05:26:18 PM
Have yo turned into my homie DS?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on October 22, 2010, 05:54:27 PM
I can't quite see DS bein' dahn wiv da Yoof, innit  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 22, 2010, 05:56:21 PM

He'd have them all lined up for a sound thrashing!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 23, 2010, 07:37:51 AM
Spending Review: Care cuts 'may hit hospital beds'

 rubschin:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F3Tvv0.jpg&hash=5d0b5cc140f5046f06033adfe5ebffc4) (http://postimage.org/image/7vozjt50/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 23, 2010, 10:44:08 AM
I can't quite see DS bein' dahn wiv da Yoof, innit  rubschin:

You is right there bruv, respect. ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 24, 2010, 03:15:47 PM
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9mlza_groland-burka_fun

Snigger snigger...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2010, 03:40:48 PM
Get extra points for snoring

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/10/24/spain.siesta.winner/ (http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/10/24/spain.siesta.winner/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 24, 2010, 04:39:23 PM
[url]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9mlza_groland-burka_fun[/url]

Snigger snigger...


 razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 25, 2010, 02:18:00 PM
Perhaps I'm missing something here but aren't we all descendants of neanderthals?  whistle:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1323455/Weve-suspected-official-Ozzy-Osbourne-IS-Neanderthal.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 25, 2010, 04:41:37 PM
Perhaps I'm missing something here but aren't we all descendants of neanderthals?  whistle:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1323455/Weve-suspected-official-Ozzy-Osbourne-IS-Neanderthal.html[/url]




Errrr .... No we are not .... so it seems you did miss something.

Of course an exception is made, by scientists who know about these things, for those from Newcastle
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 25, 2010, 11:01:52 PM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/12/14/%E2%80%98i-need-help%E2%80%99-says-assisted-suicide-bomber/

‘I need help’ says assisted-suicide bomber

A man who wishes to end it all in the manner of a suicide bomber is appealing against the refusal of the National Health Service to help him kill himself and everyone around him. ‘All I want to do is blow myself up’, said Colin Jessop, ‘but my doctor refuses to help me. He only has to pull the cord on my rucksack. But ‘Oh no’, it’s ‘medical ethics’ this and ‘Hippocratic Oath’ that. It’s political correctness gone mad.’

The controvery has sparked a wider debate about the issue of assisted suicide bombing. ‘This is all about one man’s right to have the help he needs to blow himself to bits,’ said Director of Liberty, Shami Chakrabarti, ‘to stand in his way would not only be an infringement of his civil liberties; it would also be a bit stupid.’ MR Jessop insists that all he is asking for is personal dignity; ‘and the right to fire my limbs off in all directions while my head shoots into the sky. I just want to go out with a bang...’

...Fortunately a solution has been found to Mr Jessops’ search for somebody who is less worried about morals and ethics and just enjoys blowing things up. Mr Jessop will be detonated on the Top Gear Christmas special along with some caravans and unfashionable cars. Jeremy Clarkson said the death of Mr Jessop promises to be ‘hilarious’.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2010, 05:04:24 AM
7/7 inquests: Aldgate manager 'didn't want to cause panic by mentioning bomb'

Quote from: The Torygraph
A station manager at Aldgate on July 7 did not tell her control room that there may have been a bomb in case it caused panic, the inquest has heard.

Celia Harrison said the whole station shook with the force of the explosion and they lost power when the bomb went off at Aldgate.

Mrs Harrison spoke to the control centre three times, on the last occasion asking for ambulances, but did not ring a fourth time despite recording in her notes that people were dying.

She said she did not want to cause panic in the network control centre, adding: “When there’s a fire you don’t run around shouting fire. I tried to give as much specific information as I could rather than speculating in a panic reaction.”


Source (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/8086148/77-inquests-Aldgate-manager-didnt-want-to-cause-panic-by-mentioning-bomb.html)

WTF?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 26, 2010, 06:15:54 AM

I expect "Lessons will be learned"  shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2010, 11:13:37 AM
Police saves £23,000 by telling officers to switch off the radio

Quote
Police officers have been told they will no longer be able to pass the time by listening to radio when on duty in pairs.

Copywright laws mean if more than one officer is in a car when a song comes on the radio the force needs to pay for a performance licence.

Sussex Police now plans to save £23,000 a year by ceasing to pay for a licence and asking officers and staff to stump up themselves if they want to listen to tunes.


Source (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8465523.Police_saves___23_000_by_telling_officers_to_switch_off_the_radio/)

WTF were they doing listening to the radio anyway?  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on October 26, 2010, 11:39:45 AM
Police saves £23,000 by telling officers to switch off the radio

Quote
Police officers have been told they will no longer be able to pass the time by listening to radio when on duty in pairs.

Copywright laws mean if more than one officer is in a car when a song comes on the radio the force needs to pay for a performance licence.

Sussex Police now plans to save £23,000 a year by ceasing to pay for a licence and asking officers and staff to stump up themselves if they want to listen to tunes.


Source ([url]http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8465523.Police_saves___23_000_by_telling_officers_to_switch_off_the_radio/[/url])

WTF were they doing listening to the radio anyway?  cussing:


Soothing music helps to digest Donuts perhaps.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2010, 11:43:02 AM
Police saves £23,000 by telling officers to switch off the radio

Quote
Police officers have been told they will no longer be able to pass the time by listening to radio when on duty in pairs.

Copywright laws mean if more than one officer is in a car when a song comes on the radio the force needs to pay for a performance licence.

Sussex Police now plans to save £23,000 a year by ceasing to pay for a licence and asking officers and staff to stump up themselves if they want to listen to tunes.


Source ([url]http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8465523.Police_saves___23_000_by_telling_officers_to_switch_off_the_radio/[/url])

WTF were they doing listening to the radio anyway?  cussing:


Soothing music helps to digest Donuts perhaps.


 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 26, 2010, 12:43:34 PM
Police saves £23,000 by telling officers to switch off the radio

Quote
Police officers have been told they will no longer be able to pass the time by listening to radio when on duty in pairs.

Copywright laws mean if more than one officer is in a car when a song comes on the radio the force needs to pay for a performance licence.

Sussex Police now plans to save £23,000 a year by ceasing to pay for a licence and asking officers and staff to stump up themselves if they want to listen to tunes.


Source ([url]http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/8465523.Police_saves___23_000_by_telling_officers_to_switch_off_the_radio/[/url])

WTF were they doing listening to the radio anyway?  cussing:



(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2FhJ5Gi.jpg&hash=623402e58bd6c4c8322340e398c53afd) (http://postimage.org/image/zz03k2bo/)

"Come in Z Victor One. It's no good, they aren't answering"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2010, 03:27:34 PM
British government investigates 300 mystery baby deaths on Cyprus

Quote from: The Torygraph
The British Government is finally carrying out an investigation into the mystery deaths of around 300 babies born to military families in Cyprus in the 1960s, amid suspicions of a high-level cover-up.

The deaths of so many infants have never been adequately explained, with speculation that they may have been caused by poor hospital hygiene or an outbreak of typhoid, polo, cholera or meningitis.

Some former servicemen believe the blame lies with the cocktail of inoculations they were given prior to being stationed in Cyprus, or that the deaths were linked to exposure to radioactive military material.


Source (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/cyprus/8086181/British-government-investigates-300-mystery-baby-deaths-on-Cyprus.html)

 eeek:

How terrible...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 27, 2010, 07:48:41 AM
Man 'tattoos 40cm penis on friend's back' in Australia


http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/845183-man-tattoos-40cm-penis-on-friends-back-in-australia#ixzz13XkGrKmJ (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/845183-man-tattoos-40cm-penis-on-friends-back-in-australia#ixzz13XkGrKmJ)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 28, 2010, 08:50:26 PM
COUPLE CALLED 'SWINES' AND 'INFIDELS' IN MALDIVES WEDDING

A COUPLE who spent a fortune renewing their wedding vows in the Maldives were called 'swines' and 'infidels' by the staff member conducting their wedding ceremony.

"You are a swine" and "the children that you bear from this marriage will all be bastard swines" are just some of the comments made during the 'traditional' Maldivian ceremony.

Conducted at the Vilu Reef Beach and Spa Resort, the wedding ceremony - carried out in Arabic - leaves the western couple clueless while the 'celebrant' leading their vows announces: "Your marriage is not a valid one. You are not the kind of people who can have a valid marriage.

"One of you is an infidel. The other, too, is an infidel – and we have reason to believe –an atheist, who does not even believe in an infidel religion.

“You fornicate and make a lot of children. You drink and you eat pork. Most of the children that you have are marked with spots and blemishes… these children that you have are bastards,” he continues solemnly.

Manager Mohamed Rasheed told the AFP news agency: "The man had used filthy language. Otherwise the ceremony was OK."

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2010, 05:53:47 AM
happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 30, 2010, 03:25:00 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-11658228

 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 31, 2010, 08:06:40 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html)

Harriet Harman rebuked for calling minister 'a ginger rodent'

 As a former Equalities Minister who was dedicated to helping minority groups, Harriet Harman perhaps should have known better.

But in an outspoken attack, the Labour Deputy Leader yesterday called Danny Alexander a "ginger rodent".


What a bint  noooo: ....I am allowed to say that  whistle:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2010, 08:14:44 AM
[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html[/url] ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html[/url])

Harriet Harman rebuked for calling minister 'a ginger rodent'

 As a former Equalities Minister who was dedicated to helping minority groups, Harriet Harman perhaps should have known better.

But in an outspoken attack, the Labour Deputy Leader yesterday called Danny Alexander a "ginger rodent".


What a bint  noooo: ....I am allowed to say that  whistle:




No.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on October 31, 2010, 08:19:37 AM
[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html[/url] ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html[/url])

Harriet Harman rebuked for calling minister 'a ginger rodent'

 As a former Equalities Minister who was dedicated to helping minority groups, Harriet Harman perhaps should have known better.

But in an outspoken attack, the Labour Deputy Leader yesterday called Danny Alexander a "ginger rodent".


What a bint  noooo: ....I am allowed to say that  whistle:




It's better than the 'C' U 'N'ext 'T'uesday word
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2010, 08:41:38 AM
[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html[/url] ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/8098703/Harriet-Harman-rebuked-for-calling-minister-a-ginger-rodent.html[/url])

Harriet Harman rebuked for calling minister 'a ginger rodent'

 As a former Equalities Minister who was dedicated to helping minority groups, Harriet Harman perhaps should have known better.

But in an outspoken attack, the Labour Deputy Leader yesterday called Danny Alexander a "ginger rodent".


What a bint  noooo: ....I am allowed to say that  whistle:




It's better than the 'C' U 'N'ext 'T'uesday word


Which is what she deserves... hypocritical c**t!  cussing:

Of course she has apologised which makes it okay as she is one of the ruling elite. If a prole had mentioned the same words it would have been a serious offence under her own legislation - makes me sick!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 31, 2010, 09:58:07 AM
I wish I knew where you stood on such matters  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2010, 10:01:58 AM
I wish I knew where you stood on such matters  lol: lol: lol:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpositiveimperative.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F05%2Fsitting_on_the_fence_lg_wht.gif&hash=00369f54e7823b9b4b62e752de532087)  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 31, 2010, 10:04:42 AM
You knicked my man speared on a fence  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2010, 10:07:20 AM
You knicked my man speared on a fence  lol:

Your man?  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on October 31, 2010, 10:10:07 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-11654631
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 31, 2010, 10:11:47 AM
You knicked my man speared on a fence  lol:

Your man?  ::)

Well alright no direct ownership rights ..but who do you think put him on the naughty fence  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2010, 10:13:57 AM
You knicked my man speared on a fence  lol:

Your man?  ::)

Well alright no direct ownership rights ..but who do you think put him on the naughty fence  whistle:

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on October 31, 2010, 11:48:15 AM
Do you sit on the fence cos you like the sensation?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2010, 11:50:45 AM
Do you sit on the fence cos you like the sensation?

 redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 31, 2010, 01:40:54 PM
We really need something like this to be organised over here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1325166/Do-Jon-Stewart-Stephen-Colbert-clout-Glenn-Beck-Sarah-Palin.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on November 02, 2010, 10:51:50 AM
Quote
Underage bellydancer at centre of latest Berlusconi scandal

I wish our politicians were more interesting....
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on November 05, 2010, 12:51:52 PM
Oops -

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8619796.BREAKING_NEWS__Chinese_lantern_destroys_prize_hedge/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on November 05, 2010, 06:29:00 PM
"BBC News staff strike over pensions "    as reported on ..........

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11696026

????
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 07:41:25 PM
"BBC News staff strike over pensions "    as reported on ..........

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11696026[/url]

????


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on November 08, 2010, 07:19:05 AM
 This will be thrown at him during every argument  (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1327485/Football-pundit-John-Barnes-told-seventh-child-arrived-hes-air--declines-rush-hospital.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 08, 2010, 07:25:09 AM
Oh dear ....silly boy ....and sooooooo publicly  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 08, 2010, 08:35:59 AM
TBH I'm on his side.

I felt that I contributed nothing by being at the birth of mine ~ except for attracting a lot of abuse from wives that is!

I recall something about "If you ever point that thing at me again I fvcking cut it off"


That said I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 08, 2010, 09:14:37 AM
Well it is his 7th child  eeek:

Whatever the agreement is between him and his wife about being at the birth is up to them .....I just pity the poor child when he views the footage later on in liife noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on November 08, 2010, 09:16:27 AM
Hairy owl impersonator arrested at NEC

"He struggled violently, " said a police spokesman, "so we shot him."
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 08, 2010, 09:17:48 AM
Don't his other children look a little, err .. pale?

Maybe not just the press has got it in for him.  rubschin:

The dusky footballer I mean, not Growler
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on November 08, 2010, 12:20:27 PM
MURDERED millionairess Joanna Brown was battered to death before being buried in woods near the Queen's home, it emerged yesterday

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3216036/Wealthy-mum-Joanna-Brown-battered-to-death.html#ixzz14h0ihuAg


Joanna's family issued a statement describing her as a "very special person" who was "loved and admired by everyone

well I'm guessing not everyone ................
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on November 09, 2010, 11:42:51 AM
Accident?

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8625027.BREAKING_NEWS__Man_s_decapitated_body_found_after_car_accident/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 09, 2010, 12:01:59 PM
It is believed the man had tied an anchored rope to his neck before driving away at speed   eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 09, 2010, 12:07:39 PM
You'd need to be desperate and brave.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 09, 2010, 12:10:20 PM
I agree. There's got to be easier ways.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 09, 2010, 12:18:31 PM


Like telling yer misus she has a fat arse ....... Death by a thousand looks!  thatsit:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 09, 2010, 12:40:30 PM
Lightning bolt kills Wild At Heart giraffe (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11718785)

Occupational hazard?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 09, 2010, 11:49:39 PM
One for BM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1328148/Ultimate-Christmas-boys-toy-Hand-crafted-145ft-Scalextric-track.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 10, 2010, 12:30:35 AM
Oh dear.  We need to put BM through the 'hot wash' so that he becomes the 1/32  scale model tyre changer for this track.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 10, 2010, 07:23:12 AM
One for BM

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1328148/Ultimate-Christmas-boys-toy-Hand-crafted-145ft-Scalextric-track.html[/url]


 Drool:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 14, 2010, 07:20:03 PM
Officers are being told to use text messaging as the radios are to expensive.  Banghead

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1329538/Police-told-send-text-messages-expensive-speak-radios.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 14, 2010, 07:31:57 PM
Pirate Outed at Last!  ;)

Quote
Sergeant Brown's Parrot

Many policemen wear upon their shoulders
Cunning little radios. To pass away the time
They talk about the traffic to them, listen to the news,
And it helps them to Keep Down Crime.

But Sergeant Brown, he wears upon his shoulder
A tall green parrot as he's walking up and down
And all the parrot says is "Who's-a-pretty-boy-then?"
"I am," says Sergeant Brown.

Kit Wright (b. 1944)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on November 14, 2010, 07:49:03 PM
Pirate Outed at Last!  ;)

Quote
Sergeant Brown's Parrot

Many policemen wear upon their shoulders
Cunning little radios. To pass away the time
They talk about the traffic to them, listen to the news,
And it helps them to Keep Down Crime.

But Sergeant Brown, he wears upon his shoulder
A tall green parrot as he's walking up and down
And all the parrot says is "Who's-a-pretty-boy-then?"
"I am," says Sergeant Brown.

Kit Wright (b. 1944)

 scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 14, 2010, 07:50:08 PM
 
Pirate Outed at Last!  ;)

Quote
Sergeant Brown's Parrot

Many policemen wear upon their shoulders
Cunning little radios. To pass away the time
They talk about the traffic to them, listen to the news,
And it helps them to Keep Down Crime.

But Sergeant Brown, he wears upon his shoulder
A tall green parrot as he's walking up and down
And all the parrot says is "Who's-a-pretty-boy-then?"
"I am," says Sergeant Brown.

Kit Wright (b. 1944)

 scared2:


point: Gotcher!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 14, 2010, 09:10:38 PM
Now there is a headline you don't expect to see. James Blunt stopped World War 3  eeek:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11753050
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 14, 2010, 09:15:26 PM


Had he but sung to them they would have surrendered without firing a shot .... just to shut him up. I know I would ~ Unless he was in my sights  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 15, 2010, 04:29:37 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F2aljb1rb8%2Fmuslims.jpg&hash=b065a942c540400422ac68694698cd49) (http://postimage.org/image/2aljb1rb8/)

Made me laugh.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 16, 2010, 06:16:39 AM

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F2aljb1rb8%2Fmuslims.jpg&hash=b065a942c540400422ac68694698cd49[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/2aljb1rb8/[/url])

Made me laugh.



 ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 17, 2010, 07:11:01 AM
Tbh any headline that doesn't feature 'those two ' would be fantastic  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 17, 2010, 07:15:31 AM
 whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpositivityworks.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F08%2Fkid-knows-jealousy5.jpg&hash=d02c1a123899305e003a0028c075d374)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 17, 2010, 07:17:27 AM
Tbh any headline that doesn't feature 'those two ' would be fantastic  evil:

Nick Finds Knob in Bath Horror! (Daily Mail)

Nock fends nob in barf drama (Guardian)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on November 17, 2010, 07:23:33 AM
Tbh any headline that doesn't feature 'those two ' would be fantastic  evil:


Here you go Miss D,  todays Guardian  (http://www.guardian.co.uk/) , and no need to worry about the report containing flash photography!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 17, 2010, 07:56:44 AM
You're my hero JOM  cloud9:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 17, 2010, 07:58:04 AM
Also ....my next most aggravating statement on the news ......everytime Somalia is mentioned ...every single feckin time...the sentence..."Somalia is the most lawess country inthe world" is included  Banghead Banghead Banghead

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 17, 2010, 07:59:00 AM
Have you considered not listening to or watching the news?  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 17, 2010, 01:36:01 PM
Also ....my next most aggravating statement on the news ......everytime Somalia is mentioned ...every single feckin time...the sentence..."Somalia is the most lawess country inthe world" is included  Banghead Banghead Banghead



Welcome to the pedantry club.

I assume you would also prefer "Somalia is the least law-abiding. . .  ."  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 17, 2010, 03:35:58 PM
Also ....my next most aggravating statement on the news ......everytime Somalia is mentioned ...every single feckin time...the sentence..."Somalia is the most lawess country inthe world" is included  Banghead Banghead Banghead



Welcome to the pedantry club.

I assume you would also prefer "Somalia is the least law-abiding. . .  ."  whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 17, 2010, 05:04:48 PM
Darwin runs amok in 'great turnip hiest'  eeek: eeek: eeek:

One dead in 'serious incident' in Sunningdale




At least one person is feared dead after a "serious incident" in Sunningdale in Berkshire, police say.
One person has died and a number of people have been arrested in a "serious incident" in Berkshire, police say.

Police said officers had been called to London Road in Sunningdale. A witness had reported seeing two bodies being removed from a white van.

One local businessman reported seeing gunmen being chased by police and three men being arrested at about 1300 GMT.

Thames Valley Police confirmed there had been a "serious incident" and said a murder inquiry had been started.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-11778873


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 17, 2010, 07:50:22 PM
£400,000??? Fook me!  eeek:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1330552/Jon-Jacobs-sells-virtual-nightclub-Club-Neverdie-online-Entropia-game-400k.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 17, 2010, 07:56:43 PM
Bound to give BM ideas  noooo:

I wonder how much we're worth  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 17, 2010, 07:59:54 PM
Bound to give BM ideas  noooo:

I wonder how much we're worth  rubschin:


Two cents...?  whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-forum%2F2c.gif&hash=36aed7753258b0cb4a468ee9779b1e05) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 17, 2010, 08:05:11 PM
But on the bright side, BM doesnt need a shave or a haircut.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 17, 2010, 08:06:27 PM
Bound to give BM ideas  noooo:

I wonder how much we're worth  rubschin:


Two cents...?  whistle:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-forum%2F2c.gif&hash=36aed7753258b0cb4a468ee9779b1e05[/url]) ([url]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php[/url])


Do you mean two scents?  Miss D and I do Opium and Poison not necessarily in that order and not always separately. We are however both... angel1 angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 17, 2010, 08:09:37 PM
Bound to give BM ideas  noooo:

I wonder how much we're worth  rubschin:


Two cents...?  whistle:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-forum%2F2c.gif&hash=36aed7753258b0cb4a468ee9779b1e05[/url]) ([url]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php[/url])


Do you mean two scents?  Miss D and I do Opium and Poison not necessarily in that order and not always separately. We are however both... angel1 angel1


Miss D likes that stuff... um wot I forgot like....   redface:

Pirate knows tho....  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on November 17, 2010, 08:31:13 PM
Allure... eyes:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 17, 2010, 08:38:13 PM
Good boy  8)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 17, 2010, 08:42:58 PM
Thassit!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 17, 2010, 09:15:24 PM
Darwin runs amok in 'great turnip hiest'  eeek: eeek: eeek:

One dead in 'serious incident' in Sunningdale




At least one person is feared dead after a "serious incident" in Sunningdale in Berkshire, police say.
One person has died and a number of people have been arrested in a "serious incident" in Berkshire, police say.

Police said officers had been called to London Road in Sunningdale. A witness had reported seeing two bodies being removed from a white van.

One local businessman reported seeing gunmen being chased by police and three men being arrested at about 1300 GMT.

Thames Valley Police confirmed there had been a "serious incident" and said a murder inquiry had been started.


[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-11778873[/url]





My alibi is being in here all day whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 17, 2010, 09:19:16 PM
Darwin runs amok in 'great turnip hiest'  eeek: eeek: eeek:

One dead in 'serious incident' in Sunningdale




At least one person is feared dead after a "serious incident" in Sunningdale in Berkshire, police say.
One person has died and a number of people have been arrested in a "serious incident" in Berkshire, police say.

Police said officers had been called to London Road in Sunningdale. A witness had reported seeing two bodies being removed from a white van.

One local businessman reported seeing gunmen being chased by police and three men being arrested at about 1300 GMT.

Thames Valley Police confirmed there had been a "serious incident" and said a murder inquiry had been started.


[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-11778873[/url]





My alibi is being in here all day whistle:

Posted from my mobile device


 whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on November 17, 2010, 09:23:07 PM
 rubschin:...Method of entry team booked for a 4:00am digout...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 17, 2010, 09:26:22 PM
rubschin:...Method of entry team booked for a 4:00am digout...
Now that sounds very very messy.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on November 17, 2010, 09:28:37 PM
Depends if he resists...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on November 19, 2010, 06:38:58 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11795407
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on November 19, 2010, 07:07:58 PM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11795407[/url]

That is the only way she will get excited.

No man will go near that munter.....unless Nick might have a go.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on November 19, 2010, 07:10:42 PM
I once wrote a radio ad loosely modelled on the fake orgasm scene in "When Harry met Sally". I nearly got sacked  noooo:  It was a great success though.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on November 19, 2010, 07:13:43 PM
I once wrote a radio ad loosely modelled on the fake orgasm scene in "When Harry met Sally". I nearly got sacked  noooo:  It was a great success though.
Was it an ad for voting like? whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 19, 2010, 10:40:10 PM
WTF??  eeek:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1331198/Iraqi-artist-Wafaa-Bilal-camera-implanted-head.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 20, 2010, 04:51:54 AM
WTF??  eeek:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1331198/Iraqi-artist-Wafaa-Bilal-camera-implanted-head.html[/url]


Art eh? What a  Wankah:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 21, 2010, 09:11:52 AM
God must be a woman she keeps changing her mind....

THE Pope has revealed that he now believes it is acceptable for condoms to be used by male prostitutes.
His comments are in stark contrast to the Catholic Church's previous hardline stance against all forms of birth control.
But in a new book, published next week, Pope Benedict sanctions the use of condoms to prevent disease, such as HIV and Aids - but not to stop unwanted pregnancies.
He said: "There may be justified cases, for example when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be a first bit of responsibility.
"But it's not the proper way to deal with the horror of the HIV infection."
Last year the Pope caused fury on a visit to Cameroon when he said the use of condoms could endanger public health and increase the problem of HIV and Aids.
He said the disease was a tragedy "that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problem".
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 21, 2010, 09:23:46 AM
God must be a woman she keeps changing her mind....

THE Pope has revealed that he now believes it is acceptable for condoms to be used by male prostitutes.
His comments are in stark contrast to the Catholic Church's previous hardline stance against all forms of birth control.
But in a new book, published next week, Pope Benedict sanctions the use of condoms to prevent disease, such as HIV and Aids - but not to stop unwanted pregnancies.
He said: "There may be justified cases, for example when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be a first bit of responsibility.
"But it's not the proper way to deal with the horror of the HIV infection."
Last year the Pope caused fury on a visit to Cameroon when he said the use of condoms could endanger public health and increase the problem of HIV and Aids.
He said the disease was a tragedy "that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problem".

 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on November 21, 2010, 10:25:31 AM
So Popey thinks condoms are OK to save gayers but not wimmin. He's a twat.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 21, 2010, 10:28:24 AM
So Popey thinks condoms are OK to save gayers but not wimmin. He's a twat.

Agreed - he should be a Pope on a rope!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 21, 2010, 12:35:47 PM
So Popey thinks condoms are OK to save gayers but not wimmin. He's a twat.

I find it difficult to accept that the Holy Fuhrer Father thinks that condoms in that instance count as "birth control", or have I misunderstood biology all these years?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on November 21, 2010, 11:57:33 PM
Sky News: 'Parachute team die in plane crash'................


are you thinking ............why didn't they jump..????
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on November 22, 2010, 12:18:02 AM
Sky News: 'Parachute team die in plane crash'................


are you thinking ............why didn't they jump..????


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 22, 2010, 07:35:46 AM
Sky News: 'Parachute team die in plane crash'................


are you thinking ............why didn't they jump..????


That is somewhat ironic isn't it?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on November 22, 2010, 11:06:33 AM
http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8674105.Teen_blames_traffic_warden_for_driving_illegally/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 22, 2010, 11:09:30 AM
[url]http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8674105.Teen_blames_traffic_warden_for_driving_illegally/[/url]


Idiot!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on November 22, 2010, 06:31:28 PM
Bastard traffic wardens, what time do they go home?  cussing: "Time observed" 1713 to 1721hr's, £50 fine but £25 if I pay within 14 days. One of the  local wardens is an ex-Gurkha, I reckon he was up in the trees  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on November 22, 2010, 06:38:32 PM
Bastard traffic wardens, what time do they go home?  cussing: "Time observed" 1713 to 1721hr's, £50 fine but £25 if I pay within 14 days. One of the  local wardens is an ex-Gurkha, I reckon he was up in the trees  cussing:

Find out where he lives - dig up the road around his car/caravan/house...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 22, 2010, 08:19:37 PM
Should have put a "Motorway Maintenance" sign in the back window .... I'm sure Tipsy will have a spare.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on November 22, 2010, 09:27:27 PM
Bastard traffic wardens, what time do they go home?  cussing: "Time observed" 1713 to 1721hr's, £50 fine but £25 if I pay within 14 days. One of the  local wardens is an ex-Gurkha, I reckon he was up in the trees  cussing:

oops!   happy100
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on November 22, 2010, 09:38:09 PM
You know..... that was the first thing I said  char048
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 23, 2010, 07:54:45 AM
UK government agrees migration cap

 rubschin:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.anusha.com%2Fmasood.jpg&hash=10934b0a5d0547df9b9c22c2cc9459a6)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 23, 2010, 09:30:53 AM
UK government agrees migration cap

 rubschin:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.anusha.com%2Fmasood.jpg&hash=10934b0a5d0547df9b9c22c2cc9459a6[/url])


Is that what the cap looks like? I often wondered.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 23, 2010, 10:15:10 PM
Katie Price to edit the Today show.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1332327/Katie-Price-add-glamour-BBC-Radio-4s-Today.html

I can hear R4 listeners IQ's dropping already.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 24, 2010, 05:07:21 PM
 rubschin:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1eshws8ck%2F50_off.jpg&hash=0698a60f60a34a67f54737bd56dfe0f6) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 26, 2010, 09:17:59 PM
I want one of these  cloud9:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/7930644/Brian-Blessed-new-voice-of-TomTom-Sat-Nav.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on November 27, 2010, 08:26:06 AM
Then put it in your virtual letter to Santa.

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=8767.0
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 29, 2010, 09:37:41 PM
Just when you think the American's can't get any more paranoid about security, this guy is put on a terrorist watch list for supporting a film about gass mining?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1334159/Actor-Mark-Ruffalo-placed-terror-watch-list.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on November 29, 2010, 09:40:50 PM
Well... rubschin:...he does look a bit iffy...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 29, 2010, 09:45:45 PM
If you can br out on a watch list just for looking a bit iffy then none of the members here would be allowed anywhere near a plane  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on November 29, 2010, 09:54:51 PM
If you can br out on a watch list just for looking a bit iffy then none of the members here would be allowed anywhere near a plane  lol:

You speak for yourself!   However, HM Customs must now be able to do a fair trade in tarmac rakes.  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 29, 2010, 09:56:21 PM
Tell you what Tipsy, lets all troop down to the airport with BM and Nick in the lead and see how long it takes before security is scrambled  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on November 29, 2010, 10:11:53 PM
Tell you what Tipsy, lets all troop down to the airport with BM and Nick in the lead and see how long it takes before security is scrambled  lol:

with Nick  rubschin:   scared2:   noooo:

 ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 29, 2010, 10:31:01 PM
Smart bullets?  scared2: After all American forces have done so well with smart munitions on the past..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1334114/Futuristic-rifle-fires-radio-controlled-bullets-used-U-S-troops-Afghanistan-month.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on December 01, 2010, 05:11:46 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1334752/Bungling-police-arrive-crime-scene--EAT-evidence.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1334752/Bungling-police-arrive-crime-scene--EAT-evidence.html)

Obviously changed their diet from burgers.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on December 01, 2010, 09:12:39 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1334752/Bungling-police-arrive-crime-scene--EAT-evidence.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1334752/Bungling-police-arrive-crime-scene--EAT-evidence.html[/url])

Obviously changed their diet from burgers.  whistle:


Or kebab and cheesy chips...

I know a bobby who would eat someone's takeaway after he'd nicked then for drink driving and they were in the cells for the night...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 01, 2010, 10:51:14 PM
Nick is going to have a field day with this one  whistle:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1334709/The-Big-Bloomers-Company-The-new-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL-underwear-women-105-inch-waistline-theyre-flying-shelves.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on December 03, 2010, 08:21:55 AM
Heard a report on the World Service in the small hours about an Indian guy who is keen to encourage people to donate their body to medical science. He has done so, but on one condition, that his son, a trainee doctor, gets to dissect him  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 03, 2010, 08:23:32 AM
Heard a report on the World Service in the small hours about an Indian guy who is keen to encourage people to donate their body to medical science. He has done so, but on one condition, that his son, a trainee doctor, gets to dissect him  eeek:


Ewwww!  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 03, 2010, 09:21:14 AM
Heard a report on the World Service in the small hours about an Indian guy who is keen to encourage people to donate their body to medical science. He has done so, but on one condition, that his son, a trainee doctor, gets to dissect him  eeek:


Ewwww!  sick2:

I wonder if the son will wait until his father is dead. rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on December 03, 2010, 09:22:25 AM
Ricky Gervais to join Lady Gaga in Muppets film


 rubschin:
Seems appropriate


Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/film/849199-ricky-gervais-to-join-lady-gaga-in-muppets-film#ixzz172SA82hd
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on December 03, 2010, 09:55:24 AM
Has she been dissected too  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 03, 2010, 10:06:45 AM
Ricky Gervais to join Lady Gaga in Muppets film


 rubschin:
Seems appropriate


Read more: [url]http://www.metro.co.uk/film/849199-ricky-gervais-to-join-lady-gaga-in-muppets-film#ixzz172SA82hd[/url]


He has done some funny stuff but I cannot get away from the fact that when I see him my skin crawls and my mind runs along the lines of...well, he's a complete tosser.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on December 03, 2010, 05:28:22 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-11908583 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-11908583)
 ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on December 03, 2010, 05:29:55 PM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on December 03, 2010, 05:31:47 PM
Oh, has yours been stolen too?  happy100
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on December 03, 2010, 05:58:24 PM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-11908583[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-11908583[/url])
 ::)



think that case has gone cold...........
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on December 07, 2010, 06:01:29 PM
Sky News: "Britons witness fatal shark killings in Egypt".............



Call me pedantic but surely killings are always fatal...... 
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 07, 2010, 06:23:24 PM
Well you can 'make a killing ' like can't you  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 07, 2010, 10:18:42 PM

Call me pedantic but surely killings are always fatal...... 


You are pedantic.

Also quite correct  happy088
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 08, 2010, 06:28:48 AM

Call me pedantic but surely killings are always fatal...... 


You are pedantic.

Also quite correct  happy088

The VP Pedantry Club adds another member...  lol:

Or should I have said another member joins the VP pedantry Club...? Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 08, 2010, 08:51:06 AM

Call me pedantic but surely killings are always fatal...... 


You are pedantic.

Also quite correct  happy088

The VP Pedantry Club adds another member...  lol:

Or should I have said another member joins the VP pedantry Club...? Shrugs:

Membership of the VP Pedantry Club is increased by one.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 08, 2010, 08:54:58 AM
Oh gawd ......I shall just have to give you more holes to pick then in everyfink  wot that I write  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 08, 2010, 09:05:40 AM
Oh gawd ......I shall just have to give you more holes to pick then in everyfink  wot that I write  scared2:

No need.

You are quite generous enough in that respect.  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 08, 2010, 09:19:07 AM
 lol: lol:

Old MacDonald, who incidentally had a farm, has managed to move six yards forward on the M 8, ei ei o.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 08, 2010, 10:36:35 PM
Turgid and tedious, why doesn't that surprise me  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/216125/Blame-the-bankers-not-me-says-Gordon-Brown-in-turgid-book
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 09, 2010, 06:10:19 AM

Call me pedantic but surely killings are always fatal...... 


You are pedantic.

Also quite correct  happy088

The VP Pedantry Club adds another member...  lol:

Or should I have said another member joins the VP pedantry Club...? Shrugs:

Membership of the VP Pedantry Club is increased by one.  whistle:

 Banghead
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 09, 2010, 02:56:14 PM
 Whites only  (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1336779/Family-overcome-emulsion-Car-crash-covers-white-paint.html)

 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 09, 2010, 02:59:37 PM
happy001

Quote
Overcome with emulsion:

 lol: lol: lol:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on December 09, 2010, 03:32:00 PM
Classic!  lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on December 09, 2010, 04:12:39 PM
I was not affected, luckily.

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8726682.Thieves_dig_up_street_to_steal_mile_of_cable/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 09, 2010, 05:15:50 PM
I was not affected, luckily.

[url]http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8726682.Thieves_dig_up_street_to_steal_mile_of_cable/[/url]


I bet there was distress at the pikey camp after choking all night in the smoke as they burned off the insulation, only to find that the little people had pinched all the copper by the morning.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on December 09, 2010, 05:46:06 PM
Quote
De-icing trains sent for service during big freeze


http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23905529-de-icing-trains-sent-for-service-in-the-big-freeze.do

 doh: doh:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 09, 2010, 06:08:56 PM
I was not affected, luckily.

[url]http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8726682.Thieves_dig_up_street_to_steal_mile_of_cable/[/url]


I bet there was distress at the pikey camp after choking all night in the smoke as they burned off the insulation, only to find that the little people had pinched all the copper by the morning.  whistle:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 09, 2010, 09:17:21 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1337115/Ronnie-Biggs-Barnet-care-home-thieves-stole-100-piggy-bank.html

 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on December 10, 2010, 12:12:34 PM
A TRAFFIC warden slapped a ticket on a car - while the driver lay dead inside..!!!


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3269329/Cambridge-traffic-warden-gives-car-ticket-with-dead-driver-inside.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on December 10, 2010, 11:00:44 PM
Wire up your todger and be forced to watch porn  rubschin: rubschin: rubschin:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/czechrepublic/8191849/Czechs-criticised-for-homosexual-sexual-arousal-tests.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/czechrepublic/8191849/Czechs-criticised-for-homosexual-sexual-arousal-tests.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 14, 2010, 05:58:32 PM
Simple answer to this one, any advanced race that picks up our TV and radio signals will have taken one look at dross like Big Brother, X Factor, Britain/US has Talent et all and decide to get the hell away from the planet of tasteless buffoons. lol:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11982757
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on December 15, 2010, 12:12:22 PM
http://order-order.com/2010/12/14/theyre-all-at-it-together/ (http://order-order.com/2010/12/14/theyre-all-at-it-together/)
 razz: razz: razz:


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 15, 2010, 12:17:56 PM
[url]http://order-order.com/2010/12/14/theyre-all-at-it-together/[/url] ([url]http://order-order.com/2010/12/14/theyre-all-at-it-together/[/url])
 razz: razz: razz:





How I larfed! happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 15, 2010, 06:03:49 PM
Absinthe and pineapple juice??  eeek:

I'm not sure what is the worst taste, the advertising campaign or the feckin flavour.  sick2:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-12002061
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2010, 08:09:04 AM
Top judge complains about 'sex with corpses' rules

http://tinyurl.com/38k9stq

I particularly wonder about this bit of the report  rubschin:

Quote
He said: “I am not being facetious about this, but do you know there is a guideline for judges passing sentence on those rather odd people who have sexual intercourse with a corpse?

"And there is a different possible approach depending on whether it’s more than once, with the same corpse or a different corpse.”


 rubschin: The man must have tried having intercourse with my ex.

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 16, 2010, 08:49:44 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 16, 2010, 06:10:09 PM
High on a hill was a lonely prophet  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339150/Austrian-63-fined-700-Muslim-neighbours-claim-yodelling-mocks-prayer.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 17, 2010, 07:12:10 PM
One for BM  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339429/Lester-Atherfold-shrinks-Mini-fit-car-boot-motorhome.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2010, 05:40:08 AM
One for BM  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339429/Lester-Atherfold-shrinks-Mini-fit-car-boot-motorhome.html[/url]


 lol: lol: lol:

Christus, that is what you call a motor home! Why not just drive there in a full-size mini and stay in a hotel? Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 20, 2010, 04:49:57 PM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/05/18/24388/

Internet giant Google has teamed up with the Daily Mail to develop a unique version of the online search engine which will confirm the enquirer’s prejudices.
Google-ThoughtAsMuch will effectively censor alternative views and second opinions. ‘Designed for the busy opinionate who hasn’t got time to think about things, Google-ThoughtAsMuch will make sure that your preconceptions are never challenged,’ runs the press release.

Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, added, ‘ With a single mouse click you can confirm your preconceived opinions are shared by hundreds of other websites’. One of the beta testers, Sarah Palin, had a chance to use the programme yesterday to test her suspicion that Obama was a Muslim terrorist. She found her opinion to be perfectly corroborated by dozens of high-traffic websites.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 20, 2010, 10:46:23 PM
Guys now have an excuse lol:

http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/newsfeature/stare-boobs-longer-life-study-86131320.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on December 21, 2010, 04:10:00 PM
Guys now have an excuse lol:

[url]http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/newsfeature/stare-boobs-longer-life-study-86131320.html[/url]


Is that why Nick's sig has changed?


Anyhoo, I was checking some flight arrangements and came across this. It seems they've done a special bulletin for Sarf Londoners  whistle:

Quote
20/12/2010 : Snaw falls in Europe



Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on December 21, 2010, 04:23:01 PM
Guys now have an excuse lol:

[url]http://www.themedguru.com/20091206/newsfeature/stare-boobs-longer-life-study-86131320.html[/url]


Is that why Nick's sig has changed?


Anyhoo, I was checking some flight arrangements and came across this. It seems they've done a special bulletin for Sarf Londoners  whistle:

Quote
20/12/2010 : Snaw falls in Europe





Nick's signature has been that for some time....... I think  confused:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 23, 2010, 07:27:52 PM
There are some feckin odd christmas traditions  lol:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12059969
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on December 23, 2010, 07:35:38 PM
There are some feckin odd christmas traditions  lol:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12059969[/url]


I understand that there are beer bellied men in the North East of England who, on Boxing Day, take their shirts off and stand for hours, bare chested in the freezing cold, to shout abuse at a man in black shorts every time he blows a whistle.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.guim.co.uk%2Fsys-images%2FSport%2FPix%2Fpictures%2F2009%2F7%2F13%2F1247518345976%2FNewcastle-fans-001.jpg&hash=50e6c4abea5fed0e8ea0e163884d64cf)
 
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 23, 2010, 07:41:26 PM
I'm not that big a football fan  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on December 26, 2010, 09:21:23 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-video/8225049/Indian-rocket-explodes-after-take-off.html (ftp://http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-video/8225049/Indian-rocket-explodes-after-take-off.html)

And in times of hardship/austerity measures the UK still gives this lot international aid FFS!  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 26, 2010, 07:07:11 PM
I know that christmas is the season to pig out but this is just sickening.  sick2:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1341683/Donna-Simpsons-feast-The-30-000-calorie-Christmas-feast-eaten-worlds-fattest-mum-ONE-hour-sitting.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 26, 2010, 07:28:44 PM
I know that christmas is the season to pig out but this is just sickening.  sick2:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1341683/Donna-Simpsons-feast-The-30-000-calorie-Christmas-feast-eaten-worlds-fattest-mum-ONE-hour-sitting.html[/url]


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick029.gif&hash=0aa16093822a37ad19fd3b6b667dec3c) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 26, 2010, 08:49:11 PM
That is just wrong and bad.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on December 26, 2010, 08:57:32 PM
That is just wrong and bad.


I agree only five loaves ........ whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on December 26, 2010, 11:47:08 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-12080521


 noooo: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on December 26, 2010, 11:49:31 PM
I wonder what attracted her to multi millionaire Hefner?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 28, 2010, 05:30:12 PM
I see Jezza and the boys have done it again  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1342138/Top-Gear-stars-cause-religious-storm-dressing-burkas-Boxing-Day-special.html

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on December 28, 2010, 06:32:11 PM
Excellent! And where does this tabloid so called "storm" come from?

Oh yes

Quote
Islamic extremist Anjem Choudary, said: 'The burka is a symbol of our religion and people should not make jokes about it in any way.

Daily Fail has another slow news day  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on December 29, 2010, 10:39:55 AM
This'll be the  cnut  (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/defence/6931768/Anjem-Choudary-admits-Wootton-Bassett-march-is-publicity-stunt.html)  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on December 29, 2010, 07:18:53 PM
 Biker takes BBQ home  (http://www.carolenash.com/insidebikes/bike-news/biker-fined-after-riding-with-bbq.htm#more-5332)  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on December 30, 2010, 03:27:32 PM
Polish woman has twins with different fathers.................... rubschin:


http://www.kaj18.com/news/polish-woman-has-twins-with-different-fathers/

 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 30, 2010, 04:36:43 PM
Ooo err  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on December 31, 2010, 03:47:52 PM
Mad

http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/easter-eggs-already-on-the-supermarket-shelves-1.795511?referrerPath=afc
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 31, 2010, 03:49:21 PM
Cadbury’s crème eggs... Drool:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 31, 2010, 05:28:31 PM
Cadbury’s crème eggs... Drool:
sick2: sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on December 31, 2010, 07:18:48 PM
Cadbury’s crème eggs... Drool:
sick2: sick2:


I dip mine in marmite...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on December 31, 2010, 08:08:53 PM
Cadbury’s crème eggs... Drool:
sick2: sick2:


You're weird...  whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on December 31, 2010, 08:20:38 PM
Cadbury’s crème eggs... Drool:
sick2: sick2:


I dip mine in marmite...

Each to their own I suppose, creme eggs  cloud9: , marmite  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 03, 2011, 10:57:44 PM
A study of 2,000 twins reveals there is no g-spot (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8443465.stm)

Who landed that contract then?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 04, 2011, 06:04:45 AM
A study of 2,000 twins reveals there is no g-spot ([url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8443465.stm[/url])

Who landed that contract then?


Not me...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 04, 2011, 07:15:11 AM
 Ford prison riot proves inmates ready for a quick return to collapsing British society  (http://newsthump.com/2011/01/03/ford-prison-riot-proves-inmates-ready-for-a-quick-return-to-collapsing-british-society/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 04, 2011, 07:40:09 AM
Ford prison riot proves inmates ready for a quick return to collapsing British society  ([url]http://newsthump.com/2011/01/03/ford-prison-riot-proves-inmates-ready-for-a-quick-return-to-collapsing-british-society/[/url])


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 05, 2011, 09:22:56 PM
Rags to riches (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/40916364/ns/today-today_people/) Never judge a book by its cover, what a great voice
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 05, 2011, 10:27:31 PM
We have ways of making you sqaulk  lol:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-12120259
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 06, 2011, 10:25:48 PM
Remember that joke about putting the c*nt in Scunthorpe...

Scunthorpe-United-apologise-unfortunate-error-missing-S-leads-X-rated-calendar

 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 10, 2011, 06:57:32 PM
A snip at £790, the Makerbot Thing-o-matic. Anyone want to take bets on how long it will be before someone has it making a different kind of rabbit  whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F01%2F10%2Farticle-0-0CB4F312000005DC-175_468x523.jpg&hash=ca734b05b808fe135a15137ae9854222)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1345789/MakerBot-Thing-O-Matic-The-portable-factory-box-create-3D-object-plastic.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 13, 2011, 11:46:44 AM
Come out with your paws up!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bradford-west-yorkshire-12169711 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bradford-west-yorkshire-12169711)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 13, 2011, 07:09:36 PM
No, he's a w***** AND the vice chairman of Sunderland FC.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1346729/Fury-politician-brands-David-Miliband-w---vice-chairman-Sunderland-AFC.html

Given the amount of cr*p that was spouted by Labour it seems appropriate that he now works at the Stadium of Sh*te  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 14, 2011, 12:25:46 PM
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20110113/tod-oukoe-uk-belarus-fox-cb1d00a.html (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20110113/tod-oukoe-uk-belarus-fox-cb1d00a.html)
 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 14, 2011, 12:32:57 PM
[url]http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20110113/tod-oukoe-uk-belarus-fox-cb1d00a.html[/url] ([url]http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20110113/tod-oukoe-uk-belarus-fox-cb1d00a.html[/url])
 eeek:



"The animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle accidentally pulled the trigger with its paw"

Accidentally eh?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on January 15, 2011, 06:37:35 PM
Quote
Now is the winter of our discount pants - RSC sells stage costumes
Headline on the front page  ::)

Ok, which VP'ers would / should go for what costumes?  rubschin:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-12198859

I imagine DS will have Lear 'cause of the daughters tho' he might have to fight Snoopy for it. LL for Lady Macbeth? That would mean BM's Macbeth?  rubschin:

I usually feel like Sir Toby Belch after Sunday Lunch  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on January 15, 2011, 06:47:49 PM
Quote
Now is the winter of our discount pants - RSC sells stage costumes
Headline on the front page  ::)

Ok, which VP'ers would / should go for what costumes?  rubschin:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-12198859[/url]

I imagine DS will have Lear 'cause of the daughters tho' he might have to fight Snoopy for it. LL for Lady Macbeth? That would mean BM's Macbeth?  rubschin:

I usually feel like Sir Toby Belch after Sunday Lunch  redface:



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...He's mentioned the Scottish play...we're doomed... scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 15, 2011, 08:06:13 PM
 sad24: it was all going so well like...  sad24:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 17, 2011, 12:16:22 AM
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...He's mentioned the Scottish play...we're doomed... scared2: scared2:

After everything you've read on here from Nick and BM you are only just figuring out now that we are doomed?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 17, 2011, 09:34:58 PM
When I first heard of this I was half expecting the place to be called Bates Motel.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1347839/Three-female-convicted-murderers-given-jobs-Travelodge-York.html

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 17, 2011, 10:19:35 PM
When I first heard of this I was half expecting the place to be called Bates Motel.

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1347839/Three-female-convicted-murderers-given-jobs-Travelodge-York.html[/url]




Quote
Julie Richardson, 42, also a cleaner at the hotel, scalded her own father with a red-hot iron before battering him to death with two accomplices.


Either she is a scarily strong woman or they were very small accomplices.  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on January 18, 2011, 09:00:58 PM
 noooo: He'll have to change his name now...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-12209157
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on January 18, 2011, 09:04:41 PM
noooo: He'll have to change his name now...

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-12209157[/url]



 drumroll: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 19, 2011, 12:54:12 PM
noooo: He'll have to change his name now...

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-12209157[/url]


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 19, 2011, 08:53:03 PM
Tired gay succumbs to Dix (http://subsstandards.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/reuters-doesnt-look-a-gay-dix-gifthorse-in-the-mouth/)

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 19, 2011, 08:56:43 PM
Tired gay succumbs to Dix ([url]http://subsstandards.wordpress[/url]./2010/07/13/reuters-doesnt-look-a-gay-dix-gifthorse-in-the-mouth/)


Link failed to work  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 19, 2011, 09:09:29 PM
Strange, try it now
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 19, 2011, 10:21:26 PM
Strange, try it now

Works OK here

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 20, 2011, 06:16:42 AM
And here now ....... following edit  razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 20, 2011, 06:22:39 AM
Quote
Thank goodness, Dix didn’t come from behind and there wasn’t a final Gay spurt is all I’m saying.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 20, 2011, 07:46:17 PM
Gang members snort ashes they mistook for drugs (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/38/20110120/tod-gang-snorts-ashes-they-mistook-for-d-045b8e8.html)

Quote
Five teenage burglars snorted human and animal ashes after mistaking them for Class A drugs, it has been revealed.

After a burglary, which took place at a woman's home in Silver Spring Shores, Florida, thieves made off with electronics, jewelry and two urns - one filled with the cremated remains of the victim's father and two for her Great Danes.

Police discovered what happened to the stolen ashes after the suspects were arrested last week in connection with another attempted burglary.

In a statement, deputies from Marion County Sheriff's Office said: "The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine."


happy001 (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=5543ebef594d6e65f5ea0f8a86ad58d0) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 22, 2011, 11:17:17 AM
I have just been told by one of my neighbours (George) that in Yorkshire it is usual to 'come round the back a lot'   eeek:  shutup: shutup:

I very nearly managed to keep a straight face before escaping. lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2011, 11:18:45 AM
Keep him away from me  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 22, 2011, 11:33:13 AM
Keep him away from me  scared2:

What is even worse is that he was quite right.  Someone HAS just come round the back.

I put some 'stuff' on our local FreeCycle site and someone was due to collect an item after 10.30 this morning. I stated to my neighbour that I didn't want to go out into the garden as I might miss them, hence his comment.

I was in the kitchen making coffee when there was a knock on the back door sure enough matey had come round the back to collect his microwave. noooo:

It's not like this dann sarff. noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 22, 2011, 11:36:58 AM
I have just been told by one of my neighbours (George) that in Yorkshire it is usual to 'come round the back a lot'   eeek:  shutup: shutup:

I very nearly managed to keep a straight face before escaping. lol:


Oh yes indeedy .... keep the back door locked or the buggers tap on it as they walk in.

Only the Police, the Vicar or a Vacuum Cleaner Salesman uses the front door.


As for keeping a straight face ~ I can see why you struggled but you needn't have bothered .... he wouldn't have understood anyway.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 22, 2011, 11:45:34 AM
Keep him away from me  scared2:

What is even worse is that he was quite right.  Someone HAS just come round the back.

I put some 'stuff' on our local FreeCycle site and someone was due to collect an item after 10.30 this morning. I stated to my neighbour that I didn't want to go out into the garden as I might miss them, hence his comment.

I was in the kitchen making coffee when there was a knock on the back door sure enough matey had come round the back to collect his microwave. noooo:

It's not like this dann sarff. noooo:


Honestly I used to refer to my first marriage as a "Mixed Marriage". It often felt like I was involved with another culture altogether. It wasn't just the language she used that was alien to me but so was every social concept I had been raised to obey.
My ex could never understand why I would never simply walk into my Parent's house. Rather I would knock and wait.
SWUTHTBO was baffled by this. "Mak's thee a stranger in thee ow-en ho-em".
 noooo: "No dear, it is simply that it is no longer my home, it is their home and we are visiting them so it is polite to knock and wait to be invited in".
The times we had rows about that and similar "differences" in attitude.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 22, 2011, 12:15:49 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 22, 2011, 04:12:28 PM
Keep him away from me  scared2:

Still sore from going to Brighton in your suit?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2011, 05:29:51 PM
Moleskin can repel all boarders.

Last time I bought a moleskin suit Mrs Nick berated me for cruelty to rodents  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on January 22, 2011, 05:59:58 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 23, 2011, 09:47:51 PM
One for Miss D  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1349024/Around-world--white-chocolate-These-tourist-sites-looked-tasty.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 24, 2011, 09:24:01 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8277781/BBC-apologises-to-Japan-for-atomic-bomb-joke.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8277781/BBC-apologises-to-Japan-for-atomic-bomb-joke.html)

I noted with interest the outraged comment from their regular Welsh pundit Beejj:

Quote from: Beejj
This beggars belief. The Japanese have yet to admit to, let alone apologise for, their bestiality in Nanking in '37, . . . .


Well said that man, although I had no idea that Nanking had any sheep at all back then.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 24, 2011, 09:42:58 AM
[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8277781/BBC-apologises-to-Japan-for-atomic-bomb-joke.html[/url] ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8277781/BBC-apologises-to-Japan-for-atomic-bomb-joke.html[/url])

I noted with interest the outraged comment from their regular Welsh pundit Beejj:

Quote from: Beejj
This beggars belief. The Japanese have yet to admit to, let alone apologise for, their bestiality in Nanking in '37, . . . .


Well said that man, although I had no idea that Nanking had any sheep at all back then.


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 25, 2011, 09:40:07 AM
From the Daily Mail:
Quote
Taxpayer has lost £1.5billion in criminals' unpaid fines
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350293/Taxpayer-lost-1-5billion-criminals-unpaid-fines.html#ixzz1C2REP6t7



No we haven't. You cannot claim to have "lost" something you never had.  noooo:


Pedant Moi?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 25, 2011, 10:53:00 AM
From the Daily Mail:
Quote
Taxpayer has lost £1.5billion in criminals' unpaid fines
Read more: [url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350293/Taxpayer-lost-1-5billion-criminals-unpaid-fines.html#ixzz1C2REP6t7[/url]



No we haven't. You cannot claim to have "lost" something you never had.  noooo:


Pedant Moi?


Quite so.

Unless of course they did collect it, then left it on a bus.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on January 25, 2011, 09:38:42 PM
From the Daily Mail:
Quote
Taxpayer has lost £1.5billion in criminals' unpaid fines
Read more: [url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350293/Taxpayer-lost-1-5billion-criminals-unpaid-fines.html#ixzz1C2REP6t7[/url]



No we haven't. You cannot claim to have "lost" something you never had.  noooo:


Pedant Moi?


Unless you're making an insurance claim... whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 25, 2011, 11:33:35 PM
I think these should be issued to MP's as a compulsory lie detector. When you can see the light the bullshit is flowing.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1350308/LED-teeth-Now-really-CAN-light-room-smile.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 26, 2011, 06:20:50 AM
From the Daily Mail:
Quote
Taxpayer has lost £1.5billion in criminals' unpaid fines
Read more: [url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350293/Taxpayer-lost-1-5billion-criminals-unpaid-fines.html#ixzz1C2REP6t7[/url]



No we haven't. You cannot claim to have "lost" something you never had.  noooo:


Pedant Moi?


Unless you're making an insurance claim... whistle:


 ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 26, 2011, 06:52:38 PM
Wonder if these guys have anything nearby...  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1350528/Translator-pays-50-week-live-13-5m-country-estate.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 26, 2011, 09:28:52 PM
I had a serious look into this prior to moving in with the wrinklies. With hindsight I wish we had taken thinks a little further.  There was not anything in this general direction at the time.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 27, 2011, 03:15:21 PM
Scared of the dark? Police chief bans officers from going into playground at night 'because it's too dangerous' (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351089/Scared-dark-Police-chief-bans-officers-going-playground-night-dangerous.html)

Quote from: Daily Wail
In the line of duty, police officers routinely risk life and limb in all sorts of dangerous situations to protect and serve.

So patrolling an area plagued by teenage yobs should be child’s play by comparison.

But constables and PCSOs have been banned from keeping the peace at an adventure playground at night because it is considered dark and dangerous.

A senior officer told stunned councillors there would be no patrols after 8pm at newly-built Waterlees Park in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire, for health and safety reasons.


Yer avin a fecking larf ainchya?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 29, 2011, 08:54:33 AM
 Woman threatens copper with dildo  (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/sex-toy-attack-was-selfde_n_814306.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2011, 08:56:09 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on January 29, 2011, 09:05:19 AM
 Neigh lad  (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-12309654)  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2011, 09:15:51 AM
Neigh lad  ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-12309654[/url])  noooo:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 29, 2011, 10:00:36 AM
Woman threatens copper with dildo  ([url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/sex-toy-attack-was-selfde_n_814306.html[/url])


Snigger
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 29, 2011, 10:14:28 AM
Woman threatens copper with dildo  ([url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/sex-toy-attack-was-selfde_n_814306.html[/url])


Snigger



I see I wasn't the only one who wondered if she was going to hit him with it or shove it up his arse.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2011, 10:42:25 AM
Woman threatens copper with dildo  ([url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/sex-toy-attack-was-selfde_n_814306.html[/url])


Snigger



I see I wasn't the only one who wondered if she was going to hit him with it or shove it up his arse.


Depends how much he was prepared to pay I suppose...  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2011, 11:47:16 AM
'World's unluckiest man' struck by lightning inside home (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/38/20110128/tod-world-s-unluckiest-man-struck-by-lig-045b8e8.html)

A cousin Nick...?  lol:

Quote
John Wade Agan, who has a reason to call himself the 'unluckiest guy in the world', said the last thing he remembers was using a corded phone as he leant over a metal sink.

In the last four years, the taxi driver has also reported being robbed at gunpoint in his cab, stabbed in the chest with a butcher's knife and bitten by two venomous snakes at the same time.


happy001

Oh yes... Very Nickesque!  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on January 30, 2011, 06:00:10 PM
It is his twin brovver.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 30, 2011, 06:24:00 PM
You read crime novels to prepare yourself for the role, not such a big deal if  you are an actor preparing for a part but this is Dick''Ed Balls talking about his preparations for becoming Shadow Home Secretary.  Banghead

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351825/Ed-Balls-novel-approach-political-research-frontbench-role.html

God knows how he is going to prepare for becoming shadow chancellor.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on January 30, 2011, 09:02:59 PM
Answer =

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bitterwallet.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F04%2Fburglar.jpg&hash=d048fb6b8cb56588f02fdb16e581a69f)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2011, 10:10:36 PM
Answer =

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bitterwallet.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F04%2Fburglar.jpg&hash=d048fb6b8cb56588f02fdb16e581a69f[/url])


Sell perfume?


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.advertolog.com%2Ffiles%2Fadsarchive%2Fpart_229%2F2299805%2Ffile%2Fjean-paul-gaultier-perfumes-the-chic-sailor-small-90994.jpg&hash=de394aca9d398d5d9dd24522a8680ddd)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 30, 2011, 10:45:25 PM
 Jacqui Smith to make porn show  (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351519/Former-Home-Secretary-Jacqui-Smith-cash-blue-movies-expenses-row-presenting-documentary-porn.html)   eeek:





Well, while BM and Nick are dunking their heads in buckets of bleach to get rid of the images they now have it seems that the BBC have paid her to make a documentary on the subject.  Wonder if she'll ask her husband to help with the research  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2011, 06:14:38 AM
Still at the trough then....  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 31, 2011, 09:27:40 AM
Answer =

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bitterwallet.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F04%2Fburglar.jpg&hash=d048fb6b8cb56588f02fdb16e581a69f[/url])


Sell perfume?


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.advertolog.com%2Ffiles%2Fadsarchive%2Fpart_229%2F2299805%2Ffile%2Fjean-paul-gaultier-perfumes-the-chic-sailor-small-90994.jpg&hash=de394aca9d398d5d9dd24522a8680ddd[/url])


Tipsy's eldest?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2011, 09:33:12 AM
 eeek:
 
Oh Nick!  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on January 31, 2011, 09:38:17 AM
Wot?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2011, 09:53:45 AM
Wot?

You know what she's like...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on January 31, 2011, 10:00:28 PM
That'll be fucking ape shit..... again.... like.   ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 01, 2011, 06:22:37 AM
That'll be fucking ape shit..... again.... like.   ::)

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 01, 2011, 09:38:29 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 01, 2011, 10:29:15 PM
Jeremy does it again  lol:

 "Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-12338053
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 02, 2011, 06:19:43 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 02, 2011, 07:33:04 PM
The elusive Tree Octopus, brilliant  happy001

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1352929/Endangered-tree-octopus-proves-students-believe-read-Internet.html

Wonder if that website is still up  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 02, 2011, 08:10:51 PM
The website does werk. I have posted an appeal for help in the Greeny section of Yahoo Answers  angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 02, 2011, 10:35:18 PM
Hmm if things have calmed down at work I predict a wind up tomorrow...  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: beerhead on February 03, 2011, 05:44:52 PM
Concert hall bans Tunnocks Snowballs due to risk !


www.dailyrecord.co.uk/.../concert-hall-ban-tunnock-s-snowballs-due-to- possible-risk-86908-22747272/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 03, 2011, 05:49:13 PM
Mong fucks up headline link (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6424.msg260838#new)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 03, 2011, 05:56:04 PM
I am surrounded by idiots  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 03, 2011, 06:22:58 PM
I am surrounded by idiots  noooo:

You will keep looking in that mirror won't you?  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 03, 2011, 09:59:39 PM
BM is just a big baby  ::)

That's what LL always says when I speak to her  noooo:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 03, 2011, 10:21:03 PM
Didn't David Icke g on about us being ruled by lizards?  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1353293/Ed-Miliband-likened-reptile-body-language-experts-way-licks-lips.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on February 05, 2011, 12:37:04 AM
not sure if this belongs here or the commons or comedy room ................


STAR-struck cops were under fire yesterday after Jordan was given a police escort to help protect her privacy.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3391857/Fury-as-Jordan-gets-a-police-escort-Cops-reduce-speed-limit-on-M25-for-Katie-Price.html


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 05, 2011, 05:28:08 AM
not sure if this belongs here or the commons or comedy room ................


STAR-struck cops were under fire yesterday after Jordan was given a police escort to help protect her privacy.

[url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3391857/Fury-as-Jordan-gets-a-police-escort-Cops-reduce-speed-limit-on-M25-for-Katie-Price.html[/url]





Here is perfect!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 05, 2011, 09:55:27 AM
Fancy working on something with a little more kick than a mini BM?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1352943/eBay-sale-The-Harrier-jump-jet-69-999.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 05, 2011, 01:25:50 PM
Fancy working on something with a little more kick than a mini BM?

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1352943/eBay-sale-The-Harrier-jump-jet-69-999.html[/url]


Given that it doesn't have an engine my Mini has more kick....  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 05, 2011, 01:26:29 PM
Ooo Harrier Vulcan decisions decisions. cloud9: cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 05, 2011, 01:28:13 PM
Ooo Harrier Vulcan decisions decisions. cloud9: cloud9:

Watched a VC10 land at Akrotiri as I was leaving the base today....  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on February 06, 2011, 12:49:23 PM
Talking of wind... (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12363852)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 06, 2011, 01:14:09 PM
Better not visit that country then BM.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2011, 01:31:01 PM
I imagine Tipsy uses jet power when she is on her bike, like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 06, 2011, 01:34:17 PM
Ooo Harrier Vulcan decisions decisions. cloud9: cloud9:

Watched a VC10 land at Akrotiri as I was leaving the base today....  cloud9:

Flew out to Singapore and Akrotiri on VC10s in the sixties.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2011, 01:36:18 PM
Miracle you survived!!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2011, 01:54:17 PM
Ooo Harrier Vulcan decisions decisions. cloud9: cloud9:

Watched a VC10 land at Akrotiri as I was leaving the base today....  cloud9:

Flew out to Singapore and Akrotiri on VC10s in the sixties.

Was it BOAC? They are prolly still using the same aircraft....  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2011, 02:22:11 PM
I flew Dan Air a lot in the 1980s. I once went on a Comet!!  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 06, 2011, 02:23:17 PM
Ooo Harrier Vulcan decisions decisions. cloud9: cloud9:


Watched a VC10 land at Akrotiri as I was leaving the base today....  cloud9:


Flew out to Singapore and Akrotiri on VC10s in the sixties.


I expect BM has seen the plaque.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scottishgolfhistory.net%2Fimages%2FStAndrewsHole2OldCourse1A.jpg&hash=d839de53f8aeea068087dac467adb80e)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 06, 2011, 02:44:28 PM
For what it is worth the first two VC10's the RAF purchased were delivered to RAF Lyneham in 1965 ~ I was on duty that weekend and had to sign for them.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbritisharmedforces.org%2Fscli_%2520pages%2Fgraphix%2Faden%2Faden%2Faden%2Faden_raf_vc10.jpg&hash=48e5cecbfb5a752446c8da6c5ce3ced1)

As for the Comet ~ a wonderful aircraft. I worked on them from 1965 to 1968.
Flew in them many times
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft3.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcT8zEbE0USakWkepvtGDN4I4q9MZQozFuLl22QapKMLxmxRf081Gw%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=7eb2cbe32786f1dec0c4ebe5cf29477e)

Also worked on Bristol Britannias
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmw2.google.com%2Fmw-panoramio%2Fphotos%2Fmedium%2F15426951.jpg&hash=2fd731bdeddcd7870b88ec9b57277323)

And was still there when the RAF took delivery of the first of their Hercules C30s
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2011, 02:57:47 PM
I thought Comets were prone to, um, explode, like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2011, 03:35:07 PM
For what it is worth the first two VC10's the RAF purchased were delivered to RAF Lyneham in 1965 ~ I was on duty that weekend and had to sign for them.
([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbritisharmedforces.org%2Fscli_%2520pages%2Fgraphix%2Faden%2Faden%2Faden%2Faden_raf_vc10.jpg&hash=48e5cecbfb5a752446c8da6c5ce3ced1[/url])



Amazing to think they still rely on them! worthy:

Although no wonder the 'air bridge' breaks down so frequently....  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on February 06, 2011, 03:36:35 PM
I thought Comets were prone to, um, explode, like

Implode

That was the early ones, metal fatigue around the windows IRC.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2011, 03:44:05 PM
I thought Comets were prone to, um, explode, like

Implode

That was the early ones, metal fatigue around the windows IRC.

Correct. Big square windows...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 06, 2011, 05:19:15 PM
We never lost any  angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2011, 05:35:58 PM
You found them in the sea?  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 06, 2011, 05:36:30 PM
We never lost any  angel1

I should think not they are a bit bloody big to lose. ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2011, 05:39:25 PM
Most of them re-manufactured as Nimrods... now scrapped....  Banghead
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 06, 2011, 05:39:49 PM
Indeed Miss C.

Ditto BM


No Nick ~ the only thing we ever found in the sea was the bloody Royal Navy who frequently got lost at sea.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2011, 05:42:14 PM
Fiona in London is making me werk till "bedtime"  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 08, 2011, 12:27:40 PM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/8308883/Born-miserable-some-people-genetically-programmed-to-be-negative.html?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d513356fc45d157,0



Oh dear... There is will be a new Garnier advert out soon...

Use this amazing anti-feel the lurve serum full of natures best Neuropeptide Y gathered from nature, and combined with the best sheep sebum (lanolin) smear it on your face and like 8 out of 10 other people you are guaranteed to feel the difference in seconds. Go on.. because you're a gullible twat/ worth it.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on February 08, 2011, 01:23:55 PM
A man attending an illegal cockfight in California died after being stabbed in the leg by one of the birds

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-12393125


 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 08, 2011, 01:41:22 PM
Darwin strikes again!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 08, 2011, 02:56:46 PM
Darwin strikes again!

I dont have a cock which could do that.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on February 08, 2011, 06:11:45 PM
Darwin strikes again!

I dont have a cock which could do that.  noooo:

The sharp bits were attached to it...... some sort of a strap-on like.  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 08, 2011, 06:13:03 PM
Mr Thread? May I introduce you to Mr Gutter? He is over there with MIss D  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 08, 2011, 06:17:12 PM
Yep - just call me Deep Drain  8)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on February 08, 2011, 06:20:29 PM
Evenin' MissDD  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 08, 2011, 06:25:57 PM
 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 08, 2011, 06:47:18 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 08, 2011, 06:56:25 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

Buffoon!  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 08, 2011, 07:11:48 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 08, 2011, 07:14:40 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:

I think I need one too!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 08, 2011, 07:16:25 PM
Again?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 08, 2011, 07:20:14 PM
Indeed - for both of my personalities  8)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 08, 2011, 07:21:01 PM
Again?

Yes, it grew back...  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on February 08, 2011, 08:04:41 PM
Somebody has to say it.... I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me, than a full frontal lobotomy
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 08, 2011, 08:09:30 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:

oh I had a full frontal once it was the summer of 1983.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 08, 2011, 11:29:05 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:

oh I had a full frontal once it was the summer of 1983.  whistle:

Yes, I still have the negatives.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 09, 2011, 05:08:07 AM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:

oh I had a full frontal once it was the summer of 1983.  whistle:

Yes, I still have the negatives.

Nightmares and flashbacks...? happy100
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on February 09, 2011, 07:12:02 AM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:

oh I had a full frontal once it was the summer of 1983.  whistle:

Yes, I still have the negatives.

well thats a positive .........
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2011, 11:58:16 AM
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/01/30/immigration-officer-sacked-for-putting-wife-he-didn-t-like-on-terror-watch-list-115875-22884828/ (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/01/30/immigration-officer-sacked-for-putting-wife-he-didn-t-like-on-terror-watch-list-115875-22884828/)
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 09, 2011, 12:10:32 PM
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/british-tourist-dies-after-buttocks-implant-surgery-in-philadelphia/story-e6frf7jx-1226003288075
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 09, 2011, 12:12:39 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:

oh I had a full frontal once it was the summer of 1983.  whistle:

Yes, I still have the negatives.

The question is which one of us should be blackmailing the other? rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2011, 12:13:10 PM
[url]http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/british-tourist-dies-after-buttocks-implant-surgery-in-philadelphia/story-e6frf7jx-1226003288075[/url]


I know some wimmin who would be better off as donors  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 09, 2011, 12:15:17 PM
[url]http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/british-tourist-dies-after-buttocks-implant-surgery-in-philadelphia/story-e6frf7jx-1226003288075[/url]


That has just been shared elsewhere.  lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 09, 2011, 05:49:42 PM
Has she had surgery?  eeek:

A lobotomy ..to allow me to post on here  whistle:

oh I had a full frontal once it was the summer of 1983.  whistle:

Yes, I still have the negatives.

The question is which one of us should be blackmailing the other? rubschin:

Tricky question. Let's see what develops.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 10, 2011, 05:38:37 PM
A pet for Wenchy?  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1355548/Homeless-cat-new-family-looks-like-Harry-Potter-villain.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on February 11, 2011, 11:43:50 PM
 Mean boss warms workers by hypnosis  (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3315242/Mean-boss-has-staff-hypnotised-into-thinking-theyre-warm.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 11, 2011, 11:47:11 PM
Mean boss warms workers by hypnosis  ([url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3315242/Mean-boss-has-staff-hypnotised-into-thinking-theyre-warm.html[/url])


I dont need hypnosis!  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 12, 2011, 05:57:23 AM
Mean boss warms workers by hypnosis  ([url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3315242/Mean-boss-has-staff-hypnotised-into-thinking-theyre-warm.html[/url])


I dont need hypnosis!  redface:


Hot stuff eh?  eyes:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on February 12, 2011, 06:34:44 AM
Well, that's the first earworm of the day, cheers

Who else is thinking of the queue in the DHSS then  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on February 13, 2011, 01:23:13 PM
http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/8848805.Register_office_ceremonies_to_be_online/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 13, 2011, 01:37:59 PM
 rubschin: Now if only I knew anyone in Wandsworth who was getting married my life would be complete  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 14, 2011, 12:29:34 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12446232 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12446232)

An inspiration for the VP laydees (except Tipsy)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 14, 2011, 02:28:15 PM
I don't know what you mean.  I too wield a soup ladle to good effect.. There are not many tigers in South Yorkshire which rather proves my point! eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 14, 2011, 02:30:44 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 14, 2011, 02:34:08 PM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12446232[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12446232[/url])

An inspiration for the VP laydees (except Tipsy)


Quote
Wildlife rangers plan to track the tiger and "send it further into dense, unpopulated jungle" in the the northern state of Perak.

The director of the Department of Wildlife and National Parks in the state, Shabrina Mohd Shariff, estimated that there were about 200 199 tigers in the jungles of Perak.

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 14, 2011, 03:31:31 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on February 14, 2011, 07:08:23 PM
Zero insertion fees this weekend

from eBay   eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 14, 2011, 07:11:31 PM
 eeek:

Someone will get lucky. NOt BM  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 17, 2011, 09:27:46 PM
Brilliant  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/royalwedding/article-1357935/Royal-wedding-sick-bags-Are-Kate-Middleton-Prince-William-making-queasy.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 19, 2011, 09:13:50 AM
Mexican woman on hunger strike for British wedding (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20110218/tod-mexican-woman-on-hunger-strike-for-b-6058bda.html)

Quote from: Yahoo
A 19-year-old Mexican woman was in the ninth day of a hunger strike in front of the British embassy, demanding an invitation to the wedding of Britain's Prince William and Kate Middleton, she told AFP.

"I have been a fan of Lady Di since I was a little girl," said Estibalis Chavez, who set up a tent outside the British embassy in Mexico City. "My mother was also a fan... I promised myself I would go to the next royal wedding."

The young woman said she has been asking for an invitation to the April 29 ceremony at Westminster Abbey but that the embassy has told her it was impossible.

"I intend to fight until the very end... there is no turning back," she said on Thursday, adding that the invitation could make up for a characterization on the BBC Top Gear program of Mexicans as "lazy," "feckless" and "flatulent."


 whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 21, 2011, 09:12:13 PM
Just planning a couple of weeks ahead, would this guy count for celebrity death bingo now he's made national news?  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1359093/Birmingham-superhero-Britains-Kick-Ass-banker-The-Statesman-fights-crime.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 22, 2011, 04:51:13 AM
Just planning a couple of weeks ahead, would this guy count for celebrity death bingo now he's made national news?  lol:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1359093/Birmingham-superhero-Britains-Kick-Ass-banker-The-Statesman-fights-crime.html[/url]


happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 22, 2011, 08:24:42 AM
What a deluded twat .... he can't even buy a suit that fits him  noooo:

Banker? ....... More like w@nker.

How very Daily Mail.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on February 22, 2011, 10:01:41 PM
How many pigs Darwin?


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2Fkb50l1es%2Fpigs.jpg&hash=1e91e3b8a1006d0733d036689a021f3a) (http://postimage.org/image/kb50l1es/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 22, 2011, 10:29:59 PM
How many pigs Darwin?


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2Fkb50l1es%2Fpigs.jpg&hash=1e91e3b8a1006d0733d036689a021f3a[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/kb50l1es/[/url])

happy001 happy001

Everything happens in trees, as Paddy would say.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 22, 2011, 10:34:35 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-12547398

I wondered what the black smoke was as I came north up the M5 earlier.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 22, 2011, 10:35:28 PM
Jeremy does it again  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1359246/Jeremy-Clarkson-makes-whore-jibe-Katie-Price-Top-Gear.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 22, 2011, 10:41:59 PM
At last, grumpy sized coffee  cloud9:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1347958/Starbucks-unveil-1-5-pint-Trenta-coffee-cup-bid-satisfy-US.html

Quote
But the Trenta will not be introduced in the UK where customers seem content with the current range on offer, the company said.


YOU BASTARDS!!!!!  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on February 23, 2011, 06:13:37 PM
Without doubt, Starbucks coffee has to be the worst coffee I've tasted in my life  sick2:  sick2: , and for the record, I've even sampled Tesco's value coffee  sick2:

One man's meat is another man's poison I suppose
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2011, 06:33:21 PM
Who is it that likes that cat shit coffee...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 23, 2011, 06:35:44 PM
TMR I fink. You could make it, like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2011, 06:36:21 PM
TMR I fink

Was it...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 23, 2011, 06:45:41 PM
Who is it that likes that cat shit coffee...?  rubschin:

GM - he is weird tho  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2011, 06:46:13 PM
Who is it that likes that cat shit coffee...?  rubschin:

GM - he is weird tho  whistle:

I thought it was GM....  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on February 23, 2011, 07:10:21 PM
Who is it that likes that cat shit coffee...?  rubschin:

I think that's what they serve in Starbucks like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2011, 07:11:11 PM
Who is it that likes that cat shit coffee...?  rubschin:

I think that's what they serve in Starbucks like

No, that is just cat shit...  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 23, 2011, 08:01:48 PM
To be honest it was more the size of the cup appealing to my sense of humour than anything else. Given my normal caffiene intake at the office I had a feeling that if I walked in with one of those cups colleagues would start running for the hills.  lol:

As for the civet coffee, don't knock it until you've tried it  8)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on February 23, 2011, 11:07:43 PM
Does Tipsy's eldest drink Camp coffee?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 23, 2011, 11:09:44 PM
 doh:

I presume you prefer whorelicks  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on February 23, 2011, 11:12:17 PM
Whorelicks...oh yes..

Horlicks... sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on February 24, 2011, 06:27:40 PM
Monkeys urinate on themselves to attract a mate

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/8345552/Monkeys-urinate-on-themselves-to-attract-a-mate.html

I nearly pissed meself laughing at this  ;D . Oh, errr  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 24, 2011, 06:29:20 PM
BM does that. It doesn't werk  noooo:

Someone ought to tell him, like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 24, 2011, 06:48:06 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on February 24, 2011, 06:53:10 PM
Well it's not clever and not funny, and it doesn't werk  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 24, 2011, 06:53:44 PM
 evil: evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 24, 2011, 07:57:19 PM
Well it seemed to work for Wayne Rooney, although that could have been down to his looks and his wallet like  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 25, 2011, 08:38:01 AM
Monkeys urinate on themselves to attract a mate

[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/8345552/Monkeys-urinate-on-themselves-to-attract-a-mate.html[/url]

I nearly pissed meself laughing at this  ;D . Oh, errr  redface:


It sometimes works

Oh Mr P please can I have your babies sir? redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 25, 2011, 08:54:03 AM
 eeek:

Now that is a newsflash  Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 25, 2011, 09:42:00 AM
He hasn't answered. sad24:  I am rebuffed and inconsolable.  sad24: I may have to go into mourning for all those lives that were never to be.  sad24:.... sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on February 25, 2011, 09:51:33 AM
 happy100  Awwww

Yes of course you can MissC. How many did you have in mind?  I have an account with FedEx  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 25, 2011, 12:24:09 PM
He hasn't answered. sad24:  I am rebuffed and inconsolable.  sad24: I may have to go into mourning for all those lives that were never to be.  sad24:.... sick2:

I will PM you the address of the AI man.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 25, 2011, 01:44:00 PM
happy100  Awwww

Yes of course you can MissC. How many did you have in mind?  I have an account with FedEx  ;)

Righty oh jolly good.  Dreadful and protracted decline now averted thought I was going to have to go to code black for a while there.

If you could send me a package of your finest via Fedex we should have a stable of un-stable mini P's by November.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2011, 02:58:28 PM
I have a turkey baster...  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 25, 2011, 03:05:55 PM
I have a turkey baster...  whistle:

You called?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2011, 03:21:03 PM
I have a turkey baster...  whistle:

You called?

 ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 25, 2011, 08:39:21 PM
When it seems that Tony Blair is your only hope its time to just admit you are fucked.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360472/Libya-Gaddafis-son-asks-Tony-Blairs-help-crush-enemies.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360472/Libya-Gaddafis-son-asks-Tony-Blairs-help-crush-enemies.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on February 25, 2011, 09:52:55 PM

When it seems that Tony Blair is your only hope its time to just admit you are fucked.

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360472/Libya-Gaddafis-son-asks-Tony-Blairs-help-crush-enemies.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360472/Libya-Gaddafis-son-asks-Tony-Blairs-help-crush-enemies.html[/url])


Well that should box Blair in nicely .... how's the bastard going to wriggle out of this one I wonder  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on March 01, 2011, 10:58:07 PM
Jim the Tom, gang banged by Nottingham queer bashers...Owner gutted...reward offered for any information regarding the perpetrators

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi56.tinypic.com%2F2qmgdox.jpg&hash=1e2010461bcb1ac38a42c293b6f213dc)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi56.tinypic.com%2F9h8l03.jpg&hash=d145d09f5a8f0e7bc0af85075a8c46e9)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi55.tinypic.com%2F14ecubm.jpg&hash=ff7f83e136b7b2a0e7312396baf31161)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 01, 2011, 11:04:18 PM
I called the Plod, but they were all busy eating doughnuts and eclairs  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on March 01, 2011, 11:14:37 PM
 happy001

No...if they knew there was pussy involved you would have had half the shift on your doorstep...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 02, 2011, 10:31:33 PM
Sorry BM I need to use the bucket  sick2:

http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/fpfalmouth/8885115.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2011, 05:59:15 AM
Sorry BM I need to use the bucket  sick2:

[url]http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/fpfalmouth/8885115.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/[/url]


 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 03, 2011, 07:43:42 AM
I called the Plod, but they were all busy eating doughnuts and eclairs  ::)

That reminds me, I followed a police car in to Tesco's carpark last week. I next encountered the two coppers standing in front of the Krispy Kreme doughnut display making their choices.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2011, 07:48:53 AM
I called the Plod, but they were all busy eating doughnuts and eclairs  ::)

That reminds me, I followed a police car in to Tesco's carpark last week. I next encountered the two coppers standing in front of the Krispy Kreme doughnut display making their choices.  noooo:

I was about to turn into the car park of our local supermarket the other week and yielded to a police car haring down the road from the other direction. Police cars always have their blue lights on here so it is difficult to know when it is am emergency or not...

Anyhoo... the car swept into the car park, took two parking places (meaning I had to park elsewhere) and the two officers went inside - to buy cakes!  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2011, 08:01:32 AM
I called the Plod, but they were all busy eating doughnuts and eclairs  ::)

That reminds me, I followed a police car in to Tesco's carpark last week. I next encountered the two coppers standing in front of the Krispy Kreme doughnut display making their choices.  noooo:

I was about to turn into the car park of our local supermarket the other week and yielded to a police car haring down the road from the other direction. Police cars always have their blue lights on here so it is difficult to know when it is am emergency or not...

Anyhoo... the car swept into the car park, took two parking places (meaning I had to park elsewhere) and the two officers went inside - to buy cakes!  cussing:

It's what they call "Police Prioritisation"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on March 04, 2011, 07:37:21 AM
 Man drives 35 miles with wife on bonnet!  (http://www.thejournal.ie/man-charged-after-driving-35-miles-with-wife-on-car-bonnet-2011-03/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 04, 2011, 08:33:35 AM
Sorry BM I need to use the bucket  sick2:

[url]http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/fpfalmouth/8885115.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/[/url]


 noooo:


Grumpmeister was only going to put a little bit of slurry in your bucket. So what's your problem that's what buckets are for.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 04, 2011, 08:34:23 AM
Man drives 35 miles with wife on bonnet!  ([url]http://www.thejournal.ie/man-charged-after-driving-35-miles-with-wife-on-car-bonnet-2011-03/[/url])


A new take on back seat driving perhaps  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 04, 2011, 08:44:40 AM
Sorry BM I need to use the bucket  sick2:

[url]http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/fpfalmouth/8885115.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/[/url]


 noooo:


Grumpmeister was only going to put a little bit of slurry in your bucket. So what's your problem that's what buckets are for.

He's prolly a member (snigger) of the local Am Dram club and trying to get into his part....

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss1CXo8QMi8[/url]
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 04, 2011, 11:35:26 AM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/11/24/al-qaeda-postpones-terror-campaign-until-end-of-strictly-and-x-factor/


Excellent planning. razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on March 04, 2011, 06:52:31 PM
 noooo: noooo: noooo:  ... or perhaps thank God

Quote
'Flatulent' dentist from Shrewsbury is struck off


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-12647702
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 04, 2011, 07:06:26 PM
He seems quite reasonable to me
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 04, 2011, 09:02:40 PM
So Jacqui want's call me Dave to stand up in parliament and say that he has used porn and it should be restricted because it is too nice?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1362703/Jacqui-Smith-Cameron-confess-using-porn.html

Perhaps someone should tell her projecting her marital problems on to Dave for some self promotion won't work because he isn't married to someone who looks like an unconvincing transvestite.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2011, 11:47:59 AM
http://www.theonion.com/articles/dead-teenager-remembered-for-great-hand-jobs,19356/ (http://www.theonion.com/articles/dead-teenager-remembered-for-great-hand-jobs,19356/)
 razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on March 06, 2011, 01:03:57 PM
http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/8892045.Room_destroyed_by_blaze_as_man_tries_to_set_his_testicles_on_fire/?ref=m

Wonder if this is Miss D's bloke from Prague?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 06, 2011, 04:41:22 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1363388/What-like-despised-man-town-political-correctness-forgot-come-SIXTH-election.html

Barnsley a different planet right here on earth.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on March 07, 2011, 10:42:44 PM
Top marks for  this stereotypical headline  (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/9414804.stm)  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on March 07, 2011, 11:40:13 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1363388/What-like-despised-man-town-political-correctness-forgot-come-SIXTH-election.html[/url]

Barnsley a different planet right here on earth.


I once knew a dyslexic bloke from Barnsley, use to wear a cat flap  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 07, 2011, 11:44:34 PM
BM Burger  eeek:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363735/Is-Britains-biggest-burger-13-000-calorie-giant-equivalent-26-quarter-pounders.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2011, 06:01:20 AM
Top marks for  this stereotypical headline  ([url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/9414804.stm[/url])  lol:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on March 10, 2011, 09:00:58 PM
 Referee banned for ...  (http://avoidingthedrop.com/2009/09/21/massimo-busacca-banned-for-fingering-young-boys-at-wankdorf/)   eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 11, 2011, 05:37:49 AM
Referee banned for ...  ([url]http://avoidingthedrop.com/2009/09/21/massimo-busacca-banned-for-fingering-young-boys-at-wankdorf/[/url])   eeek:


 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 15, 2011, 10:51:24 PM
Prezza doing the shipping forecast?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-12660426

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 16, 2011, 10:57:46 AM
Well it is a comedy programme.

On the subject of JP I see in today's Daily Express that he made a total arse of himself by trying to liken the Coalition Leadership (specifically Clegg) with Jedward ..... but managed to call Jedward "Deadwood" and then corrected himself and called them the "Dead Beats".

Freudian slips or just Prescottisms?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 16, 2011, 05:15:41 PM
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20110314/tod-russian-bomb-squad-called-in-to-defu-29c21d8.html

Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 16, 2011, 05:32:38 PM
[url]http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20110314/tod-russian-bomb-squad-called-in-to-defu-29c21d8.html[/url]

Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing014.gif&hash=2fa6f3773458f1cef72b27ac6bf54aa3) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on March 16, 2011, 06:13:05 PM
BM may cry..............

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1366798/Lamborghini-smashed-technical-problems.html#ixz
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 16, 2011, 07:46:04 PM
BM may cry..............

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1366798/Lamborghini-smashed-technical-problems.html#ixz[/url]


That is bad and wrong on so many fronts...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 17, 2011, 06:10:11 AM
It is also a public display of wealth and power .... Velly important to the Chinese.(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-fc%2Fchin.gif&hash=de25cffdeb4d007f6147b8b6ac25a7d1)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on March 17, 2011, 06:16:29 AM
We could nip round to BMs and help him with his mini like.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 17, 2011, 07:10:48 AM
We could nip round to BMs and help him with his mini like.  whistle:

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 18, 2011, 03:36:29 PM
We could nip round to BMs and help him with his mini like.  whistle:

Would we be able to tell the difference between the before and after pictures?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 23, 2011, 08:26:29 PM
Cow manure fetish man is jailed by Cornwall court

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fuk-england-cornwall-12837769&hash=be0d13d6d5bed37750886fd12796c098)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on March 23, 2011, 08:27:46 PM
Sorry BM I need to use the bucket  sick2:

[url]http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/fpfalmouth/8885115.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/[/url]



Miss D...... whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 23, 2011, 08:28:26 PM
I'm tired  redface:

You are getting as bad as the rest of them now  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 24, 2011, 06:30:44 AM
I'm tired  redface:

You are getting as bad as the rest of them now  noooo:

 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on March 29, 2011, 11:17:34 AM
Technically not a headline ........taken from a forum .........

"hi i have had a hire car and been driving to and from farmagusa from kyrenia. the hire car company just rang me to tell me i have 24 speeding tickets. i have a uk license and have only been here a few weeks. the car company have told me i just need to pay the fine and they cant ban me as uk license.having read a few threads im not sure of the position. i didnt realise the speed limits etc over here and am looking for advice.i have no problems paying the fines but dont want to banned from driving ."


 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 29, 2011, 12:31:09 PM
happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2011, 06:31:37 AM
Semi in Swansea looks eerily like Nazi dictator

This semi has caused a sensation on Twitter because a passer-by thought it looked like Hitler.


 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371091/Swansea-house-looks-like-Hitler-complete-naff-parting.html#ixzz1I3tJ313b (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371091/Swansea-house-looks-like-Hitler-complete-naff-parting.html#ixzz1I3tJ313b)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F03%2F29%2Farticle-1371091-0B62B82400000578-120_468x412.jpg&hash=75721274728a4747b0c7969ae6698730)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F03%2F29%2Farticle-1371091-028808D3000005DC-320_230x280.jpg&hash=f5d3db3197f60b87ba7be234e3814943)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F03%2F29%2Farticle-1371091-0B62544800000578-544_230x280.jpg&hash=f15593d614e39740a2f3589bcd86f483)

 noooo: noooo: noooo:


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2011, 06:33:05 AM
Leg Iron covers this rather well this morning.... (http://underdogsbiteupwards.blogspot.com/2011/03/house-face.html)

 ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2011, 06:37:51 AM
This looks like me  lol:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stonehengetours.com%2Fhtml%2Ftour-images%2Fthatched-cottage-cotswolds.jpg&hash=e43fee231240e693fc4ac0098dafa3f6)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 30, 2011, 06:38:53 AM
This looks like me  lol:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stonehengetours.com%2Fhtml%2Ftour-images%2Fthatched-cottage-cotswolds.jpg&hash=e43fee231240e693fc4ac0098dafa3f6[/url])


That's a big well trimmed bush  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2011, 06:41:36 AM
Didn't think you'd see past my ornamental posts  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 30, 2011, 06:43:04 AM
I'd assumed they were either symbolics or trophies.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2011, 06:53:19 AM
Which VP'er does this house resemble ?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg2.photographersdirect.com%2Fimg%2F19309%2Fwm%2Fpd2282645.jpg&hash=f0c6bf786a87e73e114d6f8406a22e48)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 30, 2011, 06:57:15 AM
 lol: lol: lol:

That is sooooo cruel.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2011, 06:59:05 AM
 lol:

Was there any doubt in your mind though  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on March 30, 2011, 06:59:34 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 30, 2011, 07:44:32 AM
This looks like me  lol:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stonehengetours.com%2Fhtml%2Ftour-images%2Fthatched-cottage-cotswolds.jpg&hash=e43fee231240e693fc4ac0098dafa3f6[/url])


I should change your dentist.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2011, 07:45:36 AM
This looks like me  lol:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stonehengetours.com%2Fhtml%2Ftour-images%2Fthatched-cottage-cotswolds.jpg&hash=e43fee231240e693fc4ac0098dafa3f6[/url])


I should change your dentist.  noooo:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 30, 2011, 09:09:58 AM
New sub-species being genetically engineered within the BBC ...





(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1pay8l05g%2Fbettany_hughs.jpg&hash=6c8bd03f6ef0dfe4831afaa134e8e743) (http://postimage.org/image/1pay8l05g/)




(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1pb3771ms%2FBrian_Cox_1521430c.jpg&hash=59226f8945eda5f98532acf3829c0af7) (http://postimage.org/image/1pb3771ms/)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1pb6i9qmc%2Fdr_francesca_stavrakopoulou_presenter_of_the_bibles_buried_secrets.jpg&hash=8f94f783ff9a907b23055dbea1d31167) (http://postimage.org/image/1pb6i9qmc/)

Once fully formed the new species, the aptly named, smugsmileyfaced coxopoulou will be, it is hoped, bipedal and will respond well to being given a good slap.

It is believed that all three are already closely related.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2011, 07:03:55 AM
Morbidly obese man covered in maggots found fused to the chair he sat in for two straight years

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371640/Morbidly-obese-man-FUSED-chair-moved-years-covered-maggots-filth.html#ixzz1I9reUTzw (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371640/Morbidly-obese-man-FUSED-chair-moved-years-covered-maggots-filth.html#ixzz1I9reUTzw)

An obese man had to be cut free from a chair he had been stuck in for two years.
Rescuers had to cut a hole in a wall of his house to lift the massive man through after they were unable to pry him from the chair.

The unnamed man, 43, was found by health officials sitting in his own faeces and urine and covered in maggots at the house in Bellaire, Ohio 
Paramedics were called to the home by the man's girlfriend after she found him unconscious. She admitted to medics she had been feeding him by hand since he got too big to get up
.   

eeek: eeek: eeek:


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 31, 2011, 07:12:16 AM
Eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on March 31, 2011, 07:47:10 AM
Morbidly obese man covered in maggots found fused to the chair he sat in for two straight years

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371640/Morbidly-obese-man-FUSED-chair-moved-years-covered-maggots-filth.html#ixzz1I9reUTzw[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371640/Morbidly-obese-man-FUSED-chair-moved-years-covered-maggots-filth.html#ixzz1I9reUTzw[/url])

An obese man had to be cut free from a chair he had been stuck in for two years.
Rescuers had to cut a hole in a wall of his house to lift the massive man through after they were unable to pry him from the chair.

The unnamed man, 43, was found by health officials sitting in his own faeces and urine and covered in maggots at the house in Bellaire, Ohio 
Paramedics were called to the home by the man's girlfriend after she found him unconscious. She admitted to medics she had been feeding him by hand since he got too big to get up
.   

eeek: eeek: eeek:





Thanks for that

Just eating my breakfast...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2011, 07:52:24 AM
He had a girlfriend  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on March 31, 2011, 07:56:23 AM
He had a girlfriend  eeek:

That was the bit I found weird!

Quote
Paramedics were called to the home by the man's girlfriend after she found him unconscious.

I bet she is a right looker...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2011, 08:09:48 AM
I know ...feckin unbelievable  noooo:

Mind you the difference between girlfriend and murderer is a little unclear here  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 31, 2011, 10:07:18 AM
So vomitacious I had to post it on Faceache. redface:

Not sure if I should laugh or cry and Miss D is right IMHO GF as good as murdered him.  Motive? who knows. whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 31, 2011, 11:49:04 AM
So vomitacious I had to post it on Faceache. redface:

Not sure if I should laugh or cry and Miss D is right IMHO GF as good as murdered him.  Motive? who knows. whacky115


 shrugs:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecaptainsmemos.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F05%2Fstar-wars-jabba-the-hutt_l.jpg&hash=26857a8822e8b585a4c51d5dd3c007b3)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on April 01, 2011, 06:49:09 PM
Semi in Swansea looks eerily like Nazi dictator

This semi has caused a sensation on Twitter because a passer-by thought it looked like Hitler.


 [url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371091/Swansea-house-looks-like-Hitler-complete-naff-parting.html#ixzz1I3tJ313b[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371091/Swansea-house-looks-like-Hitler-complete-naff-parting.html#ixzz1I3tJ313b[/url])


 noooo: noooo: noooo:





 Here's another  (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3482587/Pet-goldfish-has-Hitler-moustache.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 01, 2011, 06:53:39 PM
Semi in Swansea looks eerily like Nazi dictator

This semi has caused a sensation on Twitter because a passer-by thought it looked like Hitler.


 [url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371091/Swansea-house-looks-like-Hitler-complete-naff-parting.html#ixzz1I3tJ313b[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371091/Swansea-house-looks-like-Hitler-complete-naff-parting.html#ixzz1I3tJ313b[/url])


 noooo: noooo: noooo:





 Here's another  ([url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3482587/Pet-goldfish-has-Hitler-moustache.html[/url])


That isn't a Semi in Swansea....  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 01, 2011, 06:56:46 PM
 rubschin:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjenee.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F01%2Fkitler.jpg&hash=0c82367f7316422ae96d07be50ec0044)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 04, 2011, 08:22:46 PM
rubschin:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjenee.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F01%2Fkitler.jpg&hash=0c82367f7316422ae96d07be50ec0044[/url])


Jim?  rubschin:


Anyhoo Hells Rotarians  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1373295/The-grey-crime-wave-Offences-65s-rise-47.html


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on April 04, 2011, 08:42:08 PM
rubschin:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjenee.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F01%2Fkitler.jpg&hash=0c82367f7316422ae96d07be50ec0044[/url])


 From the Cats that look like Hitler site?  (http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigbest.pl)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on April 07, 2011, 01:40:17 PM
Commemorative Royal Wedding Cauldron is now outselling both Union flags and the ‘Big Day B-B-Q’.





Retail giants B&Q have confirmed that their commemorative Royal Wedding Cauldron is now outselling both Union flags and the ‘Big Day B-B-Q’.

A B&Q survey discovered that most people would much rather place their vitals in a cauldron of boiling water than watch the tedium of a pair of privileged chancers and their fawning entourage, prostituting their horse-drawn wealth through the streets of London while the rest of the country wake up each morning wondering if they still have a job to go to.

The large cast iron pot is to be filled with lightly salted water, then suspended over a fiercely burning fire, and was adapted from a similar vessel believed to be used to by the Ashanti tribe of Central Africa to relieve their complete and utter boredom during the 2010 World Cup. Users can either boil their head or genitals, depending on their mood on the big day.

Spread the word - share this story:

Source; Newsbiscuit.com
                   
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 08, 2011, 11:28:27 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371814/Whats-Villagers-complain-businessman-Nice-Baps-bakery.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371814/Whats-Villagers-complain-businessman-Nice-Baps-bakery.html)  spider:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on April 08, 2011, 07:35:57 PM
 Tesco Launch Value Dating Site  (http://newsthump.com/2011/03/08/tesco-launches-value-dating-website/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 08, 2011, 07:48:45 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on April 08, 2011, 08:25:46 PM
Nick.... step back from the phone  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 08, 2011, 09:42:57 PM
 lol:

As long as you don't get a 'In the Clubcard'   eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 10, 2011, 07:17:35 PM
More Tesco news, an offer came through today ...

£1 OFF
when you buy any
fresh beef steak
Excludes products from
the meat counter

 whacky115 whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 10, 2011, 08:36:13 PM
From local WI newsletter:

"Mr and Mrs xxxx have recently returned from their winter caravan tour round the Mediterranean (eeek:) and will be giving us a talk at the end of the month.
No doubt Mr xxxx will have some more amusing anecdotes about their time in foreign prats"

 
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 10, 2011, 08:37:17 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 10, 2011, 08:40:47 PM
From local WI newsletter:

"Mr and Mrs xxxx have recently returned from their winter caravan tour round the Mediterranean (eeek:) and will be giving us a talk at the end of the month.
No doubt Mr xxxx will have some more amusing anecdotes about their time in foreign prats"

 

You are in the WI ............. rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 10, 2011, 08:42:38 PM
From local WI newsletter:

"Mr and Mrs xxxx have recently returned from their winter caravan tour round the Mediterranean (eeek:) and will be giving us a talk at the end of the month.
No doubt Mr xxxx will have some more amusing anecdotes about their time in foreign prats"

 

You are in the WI ............. rubschin:

Have to do something since they disbanded the Home Guard
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 10, 2011, 08:47:23 PM
My mate in Cambridge has a neighbour (elderly spinster) who writes poems for the Parish mag. He was delegated to tell her why her poem about anglers with "quivering rods" was not appropriate.  It became a bit difficult  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on April 10, 2011, 08:50:18 PM
My mate in Cambridge has a neighbour (elderly spinster) who writes poems for the Parish mag. He was delegated to tell her why her poem about anglers with "quivering rods" was not appropriate.  It became a bit difficult  noooo:

 eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 18, 2011, 10:13:49 PM
This looks like it could be fun  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1378078/Back-seat-drivers-Competitors-hurl-600ft-hill-German-office-chair-championships.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 19, 2011, 07:40:04 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/wales/8446831/Race-chaos-as-protester-runs-off-with-signs.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/wales/8446831/Race-chaos-as-protester-runs-off-with-signs.html)
 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 19, 2011, 07:43:43 AM
[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/wales/8446831/Race-chaos-as-protester-runs-off-with-signs.html[/url] ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/wales/8446831/Race-chaos-as-protester-runs-off-with-signs.html[/url])
 noooo:



Quote
Mr Blake, 63, put out warning signs particularly for the children, who were running between 800 yards and a mile depending on their age, to help steer them along the bleak moorland before they reached a track.

There were canes with tape attached to them every 15 yards, and signs around saying “caution: runners” and “race HQ”, all of which disappeared.


How many fecking signs do you need between the start and the finish of a 800 yard race...?  noooo:

I would have thought 'Start' and 'Finish' would suffice... Mongs!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on April 19, 2011, 09:36:21 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1378326/Nigella-Lawson-hits-Bondi-beach-burkini.html


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2F2zgkyj5t0%2Fnigella.jpg&hash=1bfebb0e104e02cac3436cc4ac5b6322) (http://postimage.org/image/2zgkyj5t0/)
 eeek: eeek:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 19, 2011, 09:51:15 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1378326/Nigella-Lawson-hits-Bondi-beach-burkini.html[/url]


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2F2zgkyj5t0%2Fnigella.jpg&hash=1bfebb0e104e02cac3436cc4ac5b6322[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/2zgkyj5t0/[/url])
 eeek: eeek:




 sad24:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on April 19, 2011, 11:04:59 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1378326/Nigella-Lawson-hits-Bondi-beach-burkini.html[/url]


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2F2zgkyj5t0%2Fnigella.jpg&hash=1bfebb0e104e02cac3436cc4ac5b6322[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/2zgkyj5t0/[/url])
 eeek: eeek:




 sad24:

She seems to have gone off the boil a bit.  She is human. cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on April 19, 2011, 03:45:04 PM
I wonder what first attracted her to gazillionaire Sir Charles Saatchi   rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 19, 2011, 06:29:31 PM
I wonder what first attracted her to gazillionaire Sir Charles Saatchi   rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 19, 2011, 06:30:40 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1378326/Nigella-Lawson-hits-Bondi-beach-burkini.html[/url]


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2F2zgkyj5t0%2Fnigella.jpg&hash=1bfebb0e104e02cac3436cc4ac5b6322[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/2zgkyj5t0/[/url])
 eeek: eeek:




Thank you god  cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 19, 2011, 06:37:41 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1378326/Nigella-Lawson-hits-Bondi-beach-burkini.html[/url]


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2F2zgkyj5t0%2Fnigella.jpg&hash=1bfebb0e104e02cac3436cc4ac5b6322[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/2zgkyj5t0/[/url])
 eeek: eeek:




Thank you god  cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:


Pleased to have found someone else has got one?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 21, 2011, 11:21:18 AM
ITN - Bomb sent to Celtic soccer team manager Neil Lennon was 'designed to cause harm'


Really........... rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 11:42:29 AM
ITN - Bomb sent to Celtic soccer team manager Neil Lennon was 'designed to cause harm'


Really........... rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol:

As opposed to one of those friendly bombs I suppose...?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on April 21, 2011, 11:54:00 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2Ffza4p7xg%2Fp2700_main.jpg&hash=d1e6c171aeaac77d42fb715ba4c01c85) (http://postimage.org/image/fza4p7xg/)
 whistle: whistle:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 21, 2011, 12:45:33 PM
FAA fires sleeping air traffic controllers

That controller "actually made a bed in the control tower, brought a pillow, brought blankets, he's been fired", Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reportedly told the PBS NewsHour programme        eeek: eeek:


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13157033

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 03:56:14 PM
FAA fires sleeping air traffic controllers

That controller "actually made a bed in the control tower, brought a pillow, brought blankets, he's been fired", Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reportedly told the PBS NewsHour programme        eeek: eeek:


[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13157033[/url]




As dozy as the baggage handlers...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on April 21, 2011, 06:18:29 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-13159145

 shocked003 shocked003
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2011, 06:50:17 PM
I am sure she needed protein  angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on April 21, 2011, 06:54:48 PM
"No sour grapes in testicle attack"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 22, 2011, 04:17:13 AM
"No sour grapes in testicle attack"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2011, 11:24:56 AM
Quote
Bless my cotton sock! Man finds face of Jesus in the laundry after spilling bleach
 
James Henderson, 23, discovered the Lord while he was travelling around Europe with friends and noticed the striking image of the Sod of God staring up at him. James, from Oswestry, Shropshire said although he isn't religious - he still felt it would be disrespectful to throw it away

Pity about the typo  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 22, 2011, 01:13:48 PM
Quote
Bless my cotton sock! Man finds face of Jesus in the laundry after spilling bleach
 
James Henderson, 23, discovered the Lord while he was travelling around Europe with friends and noticed the striking image of the Sod of God staring up at him. James, from Oswestry, Shropshire said although he isn't religious - he still felt it would be disrespectful to throw it away

Pity about the typo  whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 22, 2011, 05:43:41 PM
FAA fires sleeping air traffic controllers

That controller "actually made a bed in the control tower, brought a pillow, brought blankets, he's been fired", Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reportedly told the PBS NewsHour programme        eeek: eeek:


[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13157033[/url]




As dozy as the baggage handlers...  noooo:


 nonono: nonono: nonono:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 22, 2011, 06:04:13 PM
FAA fires sleeping air traffic controllers

That controller "actually made a bed in the control tower, brought a pillow, brought blankets, he's been fired", Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reportedly told the PBS NewsHour programme        eeek: eeek:


[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13157033[/url]




As dozy as the baggage handlers...  noooo:


 nonono: nonono: nonono:


 whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 25, 2011, 06:55:59 AM
Termites 'eat £130,000 in notes from Indian bank'

Police in India are investigating claims by bank staff that termites had ‘eaten’ more than £130,000 in rupee notes from a strong room in a State Bank of India branch  rubschin:


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8468622/Termites-eat-130000-in-notes-from-Indian-bank.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8468622/Termites-eat-130000-in-notes-from-Indian-bank.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 26, 2011, 09:42:01 AM
'Human Cannonball' Stunt Ends In Tragedy (http://beta.uk.news.yahoo.com/witnesses-recall-human-cannonball-death-013538129.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 26, 2011, 12:10:52 PM
Euthanasia roller coaster designed to kill riders

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.metro.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F04%2F26%2Farticle-1303805518142-0BC3BBB800000578-396887_636x424.jpg&hash=3b807c0814579b42c09bbdda40aa8e0c)

While it might look like the ultimate roller coaster, the Euthanasia is designed to 'humanely, with elegance and euphoria, take the life of a human being.'
It is designed to subject the rider to a series of extreme experiences that would eventually kill them.
Lithuanian engineer Julijonas Urbonas claims his theoretical creation will cause tunnel vision and – when travelling at 100m/s – death, due to a lack of oxygen reaching the brain.
He said: 'Thanks to the marriage of the advanced cross-disciplinary research in space medicine, mechanical engineering, material technologies and, of course, gravity, the fatal journey is made pleasing, elegant and meaningful.
'Celebrating the limits of the human body but also the liberation from the horizontal life, this 'kinetic sculpture' is in fact the ultimate roller coaster.'


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 26, 2011, 12:37:09 PM
Euthanasia roller coaster designed to kill riders

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.metro.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F04%2F26%2Farticle-1303805518142-0BC3BBB800000578-396887_636x424.jpg&hash=3b807c0814579b42c09bbdda40aa8e0c[/url])

While it might look like the ultimate roller coaster, the Euthanasia is designed to 'humanely, with elegance and euphoria, take the life of a human being.'
It is designed to subject the rider to a series of extreme experiences that would eventually kill them.
Lithuanian engineer Julijonas Urbonas claims his theoretical creation will cause tunnel vision and – when travelling at 100m/s – death, due to a lack of oxygen reaching the brain.
He said: 'Thanks to the marriage of the advanced cross-disciplinary research in space medicine, mechanical engineering, material technologies and, of course, gravity, the fatal journey is made pleasing, elegant and meaningful.
'Celebrating the limits of the human body but also the liberation from the horizontal life, this 'kinetic sculpture' is in fact the ultimate roller coaster.'





 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 27, 2011, 05:38:52 PM
Dutch footballer signed to professional contract - aged one


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4F9MiTeV30 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4F9MiTeV30)

After seeing the astonishing footage below of Baerke van der Meij chipping footballs into his toybox, Dutch top flight side Venlose Voetbal Vereniging offered a contract to the 18 month-old toddler.

The 10-year deal has been described as 'symbolic' - whatever that means - but the club did issues the following press release:

”The toddler's favourite position has not yet been determined. However, we can speak of a right-footed player with a very good kicking technique, perseverance and, importantly: football genes via his grandfather."


Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 27, 2011, 06:52:18 PM
The world is going to end on May 21st, we're doomed  lol:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/

Oh look, they have a website with a contact us feature on it.....

Perhaps someone should email them on the 22nd just to make sure they are all ok like  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 27, 2011, 06:55:25 PM
The world is going to end on May 21st, we're doomed  lol:

[url]http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/[/url]

Oh look, they have a website with a contact us feature on it.....

Perhaps someone should email them on the 22nd just to make sure they are all ok like  eveilgrin:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hJQ18S6aag

 whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 27, 2011, 07:00:28 PM
Bloody hell, I'd forgotten about that sketch  lol:

Think I'm going to have to dig out the Secret Policeman's Ball DVD's again  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on April 27, 2011, 07:03:22 PM
Bloody hell, I'd forgotten about that sketch  lol:

Think I'm going to have to dig out the Secret Policeman's Ball DVD's again  cloud9:

Has it got the music on it ?.........on vinyl they were seperate .
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 27, 2011, 07:03:38 PM
Bloody hell, I'd forgotten about that sketch  lol:

Think I'm going to have to dig out the Secret Policeman's Ball DVD's again  cloud9:

DVD?  ::)

I had it on vinyl like...  whistle:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on April 27, 2011, 07:04:06 PM
Bloody hell, I'd forgotten about that sketch  lol:

Think I'm going to have to dig out the Secret Policeman's Ball DVD's again  cloud9:

Has it got the music on it ?.........on vinyl they were seperate .

worthy:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 27, 2011, 07:08:10 PM
I saw the DVD box set in HMV a while back when I picked up the 2 new ones so got them all  cloud9:

The DVD;s are the whole thing as far as I can remember though there was one of the disks that had more music than the others.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 30, 2011, 08:18:12 PM
We went to a village fete today and one of the stands was raising money for a primary school.

I tried to take a photo with my camera but failed.

It was one of these:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.1stfortoys.co.uk%2Ftoys-90%2Fpaddington-shaped-puzzle-6028-2600_zoom.jpg&hash=8224f08c2d1730a80ef01ee57628f435)

The label read: "GUESS THE WEIGHT OF PADDINTON BEER"

I immediately thought of TMR for some reason...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on April 30, 2011, 08:31:50 PM
I hope you complained  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on April 30, 2011, 09:08:29 PM
The world is going to end on May 21st, we're doomed  lol:

[url]http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/[/url]

Oh look, they have a website with a contact us feature on it.....

Perhaps someone should email them on the 22nd just to make sure they are all ok like  eveilgrin:


Snigger.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 04, 2011, 06:32:45 PM
Hotel suite made out of 10 tonnes of chocolate

Fashion icon Karl Lagerfeld has unveiled a hotel suite made entirely out of chocolate.

Lagerfield teamed up with French master chocolatier Patrick Roger to create the masterpiece in the heart of Paris, using more than 10 tonnes of chocolate.

The room, which contains a desk, lamp and sculpted figure of Lagerfeld's favourite muse, model Baptise Giabiconi draped on a chocolate bed, was created to celebrate the launch of the new Magnum Ghana and Ecuador ice cream bar.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.mirror.co.uk%2Fupl%2Fm4%2Fmay2011%2F4%2F1%2Fchocolate-room-466289110.jpg&hash=71b2b47296a73d62f7cb5053e42c9ae9)

 noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:

Soooooooooooooooo wrong

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 04, 2011, 06:36:54 PM
One magnum and two creme eggs inside the shorts?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 11, 2011, 04:47:55 PM
(Reuters) - Several thousand bees that were part a multi-million pound neuroscience research project have been stolen from a British university.

Police in the Scottish region of Tayside were appealing for information on Tuesday after four bee hives containing several thousand British black bees were stolen from a medical school in the city of Dundee.

"This theft will undoubtedly hamper our research," said Dr Chris Connolly, the lead researcher on the Dundee project, who reported the bees missing on Sunday.

In a statement he described the bees as "very unique" and said they should be easy to identify if they are sold on.

The hives are a part of a 2 million pound ($3.3 million) project at the Center for Neurosciences at the Dundee University's medical school which is investigating the potential effect of pesticides on bee learning and health.

Police said there were keen to trace a white van and two men that were seen in the area at around 0900 GMT on May 8.

Connolly said he thought the bees may have been stolen for breeding, or for selling on to specialist bee-keepers.

"Clearly whoever did this knows what they were doing and how to handle bees," he said.

Someone has clearly been misbeehiving. noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2011, 04:54:39 PM
(Reuters) - Several thousand bees that were part a multi-million pound neuroscience research project have been stolen from a British university.

Police in the Scottish region of Tayside were appealing for information on Tuesday after four bee hives containing several thousand British black bees were stolen from a medical school in the city of Dundee.

"This theft will undoubtedly hamper our research," said Dr Chris Connolly, the lead researcher on the Dundee project, who reported the bees missing on Sunday.

In a statement he described the bees as "very unique" and said they should be easy to identify if they are sold on.

The hives are a part of a 2 million pound ($3.3 million) project at the Center for Neurosciences at the Dundee University's medical school which is investigating the potential effect of pesticides on bee learning and health.

Police said there were keen to trace a white van and two men that were seen in the area at around 0900 GMT on May 8.

Connolly said he thought the bees may have been stolen for breeding, or for selling on to specialist bee-keepers.

"Clearly whoever did this knows what they were doing and how to handle bees," he said.

Someone has clearly been misbeehiving. noooo:

Is that the best you could do honey?  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 11, 2011, 04:58:00 PM
Yes but are you going to make this a sticky?

BTW how do you go about getting the emocion thingy in the left hand column?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2011, 04:59:47 PM
Yes but are you going to make this a sticky?

BTW how do you go about getting the emocion thingy in the left hand column?

Which emoticon thingy...? I'll comb through the instruction manual and find out for you...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 11, 2011, 05:41:21 PM
Someone has clearly been misbeehiving. noooo:

Sounds like quite a sting  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2011, 06:35:12 PM
Someone has clearly been misbeehiving. noooo:

Sounds like quite a sting  whistle:

I just ignore the queen...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 11, 2011, 06:49:48 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0auCDOERZyE

To the pair of you.  Don't ask me why it came to mind but you deserve to share my pain. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2011, 06:50:35 PM
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0auCDOERZyE[/url]

To the pair of you.  Don't ask me why it came to mind but you deserve to share my pain. eveilgrin:


 :lalalala
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 11, 2011, 08:25:02 PM
Nice try Miss C but Hugh Laurie has taken up residence in my head at the moment so your earworm didn't stick  lol: 
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on May 12, 2011, 04:46:06 PM
http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/weird_news/9018250.Pensioner_traps_testicles_during_shower/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on May 12, 2011, 07:10:58 PM
[url]http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/weird_news/9018250.Pensioner_traps_testicles_during_shower/?ref=mr[/url]


Someone in A&E said 'who's the chap with black balls?'

Someone else replied 'Sammy Davis Junior?'
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 12, 2011, 07:58:17 PM
[url]http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/weird_news/9018250.Pensioner_traps_testicles_during_shower/?ref=mr[/url]


Someone in A&E said 'who's the chap with black balls?'

Someone else replied 'Sammy Davis Junior?'


Teacher: "Who made the first flight across the Atlantic?"
Pupil: "Sammy Davis Junior Sir"
Teacher: "No boy, it was Allcock and Brown"
Pupil: "That's what I said Sir"



Rag Week 1962  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 15, 2011, 12:24:17 PM
"IMF Banking Chief fails to make deposit"   
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2011, 12:32:41 PM
"IMF Banking Chief fails to make deposit"   

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on May 15, 2011, 08:49:52 PM
A new mobile phone ..... rubschin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqORtBW210U
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on May 15, 2011, 09:04:08 PM
 lol: lol: ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2011, 11:35:05 AM
Dartford pair accused of failing to seek veterinary treatment for tortoise’s penis (http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/northkent/9017917.Dartford_pair_accused_of_failing_to_seek_veterinary_treatment_for_tortoise___s_penis/)

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on May 16, 2011, 11:40:05 AM
Dartford pair accused of failing to seek veterinary treatment for tortoise’s penis ([url]http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/northkent/9017917.Dartford_pair_accused_of_failing_to_seek_veterinary_treatment_for_tortoise___s_penis/[/url])

 eeek:


How would you know......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2011, 11:48:58 AM
Dartford pair accused of failing to seek veterinary treatment for tortoise’s penis ([url]http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/northkent/9017917.Dartford_pair_accused_of_failing_to_seek_veterinary_treatment_for_tortoise___s_penis/[/url])

 eeek:


How would you know......... rubschin:


Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 16, 2011, 12:18:34 PM
Dartford pair accused of failing to seek veterinary treatment for tortoise’s penis ([url]http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/northkent/9017917.Dartford_pair_accused_of_failing_to_seek_veterinary_treatment_for_tortoise___s_penis/[/url])

 eeek:


How would you know......... rubschin:


Shrugs:


I can't wait to hear the evidence  razz:


"Well your honour ~ I wuz proceeding along Acacia Avenue when I saw this tortoise. 'Hello' I said to myself 'There's a case of a collapsed penis if ever I saw one'"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 16, 2011, 09:21:48 PM
£1000 of free shares from thee government? I know this is just a think tank proposal but why does this idea sound too good to be true?  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1387539/Taxpayers-given-1-000-worth-shares-bailed-banks-sell-profit.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 16, 2011, 09:34:45 PM
£1000 of free shares from thee government? I know this is just a think tank proposal but why does this idea sound too good to be true?  rubschin:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1387539/Taxpayers-given-1-000-worth-shares-bailed-banks-sell-profit.html[/url]


It sounds to good to be true because it is in the Daily Mail ..... I believe nothing I read from that source.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 16, 2011, 09:56:34 PM
First heard about it in the news and saw it in the CNBC website but found the DM one when looking at the Stephen Hawking story.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 16, 2011, 09:58:59 PM
 rubschin: Well if they go for it I won't say no. Nowt to lose if they are giving us the shares that we paid for in the first place and summat to gain if you sit on them long enough.
I did make money out of Maggies sell off of BP and BT shares.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on May 17, 2011, 06:16:37 AM
 The Daily Mail Tube Map  (http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2010/07/15/daily-mails-secret-editorial-formula-revealed/)

Click on the map to expand it

 ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on May 17, 2011, 06:19:37 AM
 Darwin 1 Rest of the World 0  (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13389207)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 17, 2011, 06:39:45 AM
The Daily Mail Tube Map  ([url]http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2010/07/15/daily-mails-secret-editorial-formula-revealed/[/url])

Click on the map to expand it

 ;D


Affs! I said The AFFS for cods sake!  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 17, 2011, 06:50:45 AM
 whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg42.imageshack.us%2Fimg42%2F50%2Fatmpublish.png&hash=76d26b9a567c4dfbf4a65474ab5be688)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 18, 2011, 11:34:37 AM
Man tries to board train with pony in Wrexham

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13437279 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13437279)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbcimg.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F52807000%2Fjpg%2F_52807540_horse464.jpg&hash=039d2ffdf3db5bdb72691d5a5867db5b)

A man has been captured on CCTV trying to board a train accompanied by a pony.

Shocked staff watched as the man tried to get on the train at Wrexham General station with the white pony in tow

After a conductor refused him entry, the man returned to the ticket booth where he tried to buy two tickets - for himself and the animal.

An Arriva Trains Wales (ATW) spokeswoman said "Horses and ponies, which may pose a risk to the general public are not permitted to travel".


 lol: lol: lol:

What an muppet
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2011, 01:25:02 PM
Wales  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 18, 2011, 04:50:06 PM
Dartford pair accused of failing to seek veterinary treatment for tortoise’s penis ([url]http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/northkent/9017917.Dartford_pair_accused_of_failing_to_seek_veterinary_treatment_for_tortoise___s_penis/[/url])

 eeek:


How would you know......... rubschin:


Shrugs:


For the good of humanity and we VPers I went and found this...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F2brkt6yis%2Fmale_DT_sex_organ.jpg&hash=78edc1dbfb1e5072e74aeb54e4212293) (http://postimage.org/image/2brkt6yis/)

Whilst looking I found this...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F2bqpdzd50%2Fshaft_hunter.jpg&hash=b6345703da482599dc430a6f79af5f44) (http://www.postimage.org/)

Which in turn led to this. eeek:

Raise high your glass of tortoise penis kidney-tonifying wine and prepare for the scourge
May 6, 2010 in Names/Naming by snark
I’ve been on a rampage though the patent database trolling for unusual names and language. Here is another gem: Tortoise penis kidney-tonifying wine. Betcha’ never thought you could patent such a concoction! In case you want to try to brew this baby up at home, the patent abstract lists the key ingredients:

The invention discloses tortoise wine for invigorating the kidney. The technical key points of the invention are that the wine is made by infusing live turtle, deer scourge, fur seal scourge and such Chinese herbal medicine as honeysuckle, osmanthus flower, codonopsis pilosula, angelica, morinda root, leatherleaf milletia, dodder, Schisandra, radix achyranthis bidentatae, Cherokee rose, barrenwort and grain wine. The wine for invigorating the kidney of the invention ahs the effects of invigorating the kidney, benefiting the stomach, strengthening the human immunity, resisting the fatigue and preventing the aging.

I was especially struck — after “tortoise penis” — by the ingredients “deer scourge” and “fur seal scourge”. I thought, is there another, more benign meaning of “scourge” that I’m not aware of? Nope, all the definitions of “scourge” are pretty grim:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on May 19, 2011, 03:17:11 AM
Miss D takes The Brat shopping in Ohio?  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388266/Shocking-moment-mother-runs-daughter-car-park.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388266/Shocking-moment-mother-runs-daughter-car-park.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on May 19, 2011, 04:15:54 AM
She does seem to have the appearance of a  Walmart customer  (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/) Press on the photos tab, but have the sick bucket handy  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 19, 2011, 01:49:18 PM
Now that's a sales incentive  lol:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13454160
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 19, 2011, 01:54:23 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13451965 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13451965).
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 19, 2011, 01:59:28 PM
 eeek: I did have a pony and trap this morning. rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 20, 2011, 01:58:17 PM
Must remember to send this berk an email on October 22nd  lol:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13468131
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2011, 02:42:29 PM
Another bunch of mongs say it happens at 6.00 tomorrow    scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2011, 02:46:17 PM
Oh no! Not again! I didn't notice the last three times it happened either.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2011, 02:48:17 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hJQ18S6aag

Always worth another look....  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 20, 2011, 03:38:09 PM
Oh no! Not again! I didn't notice the last three times it happened either.

To be honest I love these guys, just for the fact you can wait till after the 'apocalypse' and then just laugh at the stupidity of it all.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 20, 2011, 05:06:32 PM
If some group somewhere says it every day, one of them will eventually be right I suppose.

Sadly, they will never be able to say 'I told you so'.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on May 21, 2011, 05:42:36 AM
Another bunch of mongs say it happens at 6.00 tomorrow    scared2:

Their mong leader owns a radio station. I wonder if he's accepted payment for radio ads from  today onwards  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 21, 2011, 07:56:30 AM
Another bunch of mongs say it happens at 6.00 tomorrow    scared2:

Their mong leader owns a radio station. I wonder if he's accepted payment for radio ads from  today onwards  rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2011, 03:08:05 PM
'Nice arse': Strauss-Khan's 'comment to air hostess' just moments before he was arrested for sexual assault (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389686/Nice-e-Dominique-Strauss-Khans-words-Air-France-hostess-moments-hauled-plane.html#ixzz1N5ODlvVf)

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 22, 2011, 03:10:16 PM
Not looking good for him, is it?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2011, 03:12:37 PM
Not looking good for him, is it?

No, him and Hoone could get a room together!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 22, 2011, 03:53:06 PM
It just occurred to me, they probably both believed the world would end yesterday, so didn't care if they got caught.  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 22, 2011, 03:55:47 PM
And what with Ryan Giggs almost outted as the super injunction pillock it's all men behaving badly at the moment eh  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 22, 2011, 03:57:36 PM
And what with Ryan Giggs almost outted as the super injunction pillock it's all men behaving badly at the moment eh  lol:

You flirty wimmin get us into all kinds of bother.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on May 22, 2011, 04:00:25 PM
'Nice arse': Strauss-Khan's 'comment to air hostess' just moments before he was arrested for sexual assault ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389686/Nice-e-Dominique-Strauss-Khans-words-Air-France-hostess-moments-hauled-plane.html#ixzz1N5ODlvVf[/url])

happy001


And, in the article,  just in case you didn't know what an Air France aeroplane looked like ...  ::)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F05%2F22%2Farticle-1389686-052B33BF000005DC-282_634x326.jpg&hash=28ba6b458f8d1accfa61294dc2c10ec5)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 22, 2011, 04:10:17 PM
'Nice arse': Strauss-Khan's 'comment to air hostess' just moments before he was arrested for sexual assault ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389686/Nice-e-Dominique-Strauss-Khans-words-Air-France-hostess-moments-hauled-plane.html#ixzz1N5ODlvVf[/url])

happy001


And, in the article,  just in case you didn't know what an Air France aeroplane looked like ...  ::)

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F05%2F22%2Farticle-1389686-052B33BF000005DC-282_634x326.jpg&hash=28ba6b458f8d1accfa61294dc2c10ec5[/url])



Indeed. I would have preferred an arse pic  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2011, 04:10:48 PM
'Nice arse': Strauss-Khan's 'comment to air hostess' just moments before he was arrested for sexual assault ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389686/Nice-e-Dominique-Strauss-Khans-words-Air-France-hostess-moments-hauled-plane.html#ixzz1N5ODlvVf[/url])

happy001


And, in the article,  just in case you didn't know what an Air France aeroplane looked like ...  ::)

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F05%2F22%2Farticle-1389686-052B33BF000005DC-282_634x326.jpg&hash=28ba6b458f8d1accfa61294dc2c10ec5[/url])



I noticed that!  lol: lol: lol:

No picture of an trolley dolly's arse tho!  cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2011, 04:11:13 PM
SNAP!  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 22, 2011, 04:12:12 PM
SNAP!  ;D

And you're proud to be thinking like Nick  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2011, 04:14:29 PM
SNAP!  ;D

And you're proud to be thinking like Nick  rubschin:

Ooooh-er!  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 22, 2011, 04:14:59 PM
Dragon?

Huhne now thinks that he may have been driving his car when he was caught speeding. rubschin:  Dreadful memory the poor chap has. noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 25, 2011, 08:23:31 AM
The Incredible Hulk XXX Porn Parody turns blue movies green


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.metro.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F05%2F24%2Farticle-1306236999392-0C3C701600000578-124206_636x502.jpg&hash=cc9762ab89f4d354c7390384e3454eb4)

The Incredible Hulk has been turned into a porn film starring the aptly named Dale DaBone as Bruce Banner alongside a bevvy of beauties.


 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on May 25, 2011, 08:54:04 AM
The Incredible Hulk XXX Porn Parody turns blue movies green


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.metro.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F05%2F24%2Farticle-1306236999392-0C3C701600000578-124206_636x502.jpg&hash=cc9762ab89f4d354c7390384e3454eb4[/url])

The Incredible Hulk has been turned into a porn film starring the aptly named Dale DaBone as Bruce Banner alongside a bevvy of beauties.


 lol:


 eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 25, 2011, 08:57:55 AM
He looks like he is reading Braille  rubschin:

All it says is DOT DOT
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on May 25, 2011, 11:07:23 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13537084
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2011, 11:18:45 AM
Eeewwww!  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 25, 2011, 12:03:20 PM
What a load of baloney  noooo:

Steven McCormack had fallen between the cab and the trailer of his truck, breaking the air hose.

The nozzle pierced his buttock and began pumping air into his body, which expanded dramatically.


Trucker gets confused with sucky blowy controls more likely  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2011, 12:08:39 PM
What a load of baloney  noooo:

Steven McCormack had fallen between the cab and the trailer of his truck, breaking the air hose.

The nozzle pierced his buttock and began pumping air into his body, which expanded dramatically.


Trucker gets confused with sucky blowy controls more likely  whistle:


 lol: lol: lol:

I like your train of thought...  rubschin:

He prolly had it stuck up his arse while he was masturbating or summat....
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 25, 2011, 12:23:59 PM
To help him deliver his load like  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on May 25, 2011, 12:24:36 PM
To help him deliver his load like  rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2011, 12:26:29 PM
To help him deliver his load like  rubschin:

High five!  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 25, 2011, 12:53:51 PM
What a load of baloney  noooo:

Steven McCormack had fallen between the cab and the trailer of his truck, breaking the air hose.

The nozzle pierced his buttock and began pumping air into his body, which expanded dramatically.


Trucker gets confused with sucky blowy controls more likely  whistle:


That was my second thought, the first one was that Nick had family in New Zealand.  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 25, 2011, 12:55:34 PM
Best go for a lie down if you've had 2 thinking episodes in one day   ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2011, 01:17:35 PM
Best go for a lie down if you've had 2 thinking episodes in one day   ;)

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 25, 2011, 01:18:16 PM
Anyone who thinks sticking a compressed air line up his arse deserves all the ridicule we can muster  lol:

Even Nick isn't that daft!! ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 25, 2011, 01:59:20 PM
Even Nick isn't that daft!! ;)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 27, 2011, 08:14:17 AM
http://thylacosmilus.blogspot.com/2011/05/something-even-more-curious-than.html (http://thylacosmilus.blogspot.com/2011/05/something-even-more-curious-than.html)  razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 27, 2011, 09:35:37 AM
I followed the links and came across this gem in the comments:

Spiders are typically very hard to identify and to be 100% certain the genitals of a dead specimen would need to be examined under a microscope.

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 27, 2011, 09:48:33 AM
I followed the links and came across this gem in the comments:

Spiders are typically very hard to identify and to be 100% certain the genitals of a dead specimen would need to be examined under a microscope.

 eeek:

Why does it have to be dead?

I am certain that, when I am dead, my todger will look exactly like it does now.

No microscope needed of course, just a maginfying glass.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 27, 2011, 10:07:03 AM
 spider:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 28, 2011, 04:30:51 PM
Taxpayer picks up £650,000 bill for Downing Street renovations
Almost £700,000 of taxpayers’ money has been spent refurbishing Downing Street since David Cameron took office, records show.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/8543369/Taxpayer-picks-up-650000-bill-for-Downing-Street-renovations.html

Thank heavens we are all in this together other wise this might be thought of as outrageous.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on May 28, 2011, 07:51:42 PM
Be fair .... if you moved in after Gordon Brown you'd want somebody in to scrape all the boogies off the walls  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on May 28, 2011, 08:42:21 PM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/silvio-berlusconi/8543741/Actress-claims-Silvio-Berlusconi-helped-her-find-God.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/silvio-berlusconi/8543741/Actress-claims-Silvio-Berlusconi-helped-her-find-God.html)

Bunga Bunga!  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2011, 08:43:55 PM
I think they are getting confused with when she shouts " Oh God, Oh God, I'm coming" in Mr Berlusconi's presence  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 28, 2011, 08:51:48 PM
I think they are getting confused with when she shouts " Oh God, Oh God, I'm coming" in Mr Berlusconi's presence  whistle:

Your meal for 2 seems to have been a success. I assume you only ate for one?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on May 28, 2011, 08:56:08 PM
She was thinking of me... ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2011, 09:00:28 PM
Hold on ....I haven't got to the cheese course yet  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on May 28, 2011, 09:10:50 PM
Is it time now for the grilled cheese sandwich joke?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2011, 09:12:14 PM
Oh noes ...it's never time for that  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on May 28, 2011, 09:14:06 PM
I wont tell it then...G'nite babe...See you at breakfast...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 28, 2011, 09:17:23 PM
Night hun ...wake me up early I have lots to do tomorrow  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on May 29, 2011, 06:05:22 AM
 A cynic would suggest they may have fallen asleep on the job  (http://www.petersfieldpost.co.uk/news/regional/police_cars_clamped_on_royal_duties_1_2723843)

A Hampshire police spokesman said: ... The officers had not left the vehicles at the time they were clamped."

Personally I hope he gets found not guilty, and the officers involved get sacked. You'd think one would wake up as it was being clamped, or the other would have noticed before he did the second car

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2011, 07:36:07 AM
A cynic would suggest they may have fallen asleep on the job  ([url]http://www.petersfieldpost.co.uk/news/regional/police_cars_clamped_on_royal_duties_1_2723843[/url])

A Hampshire police spokesman said: ... The officers had not left the vehicles at the time they were clamped."

Personally I hope he gets found not guilty, and the officers involved get sacked. You'd think one would wake up as it was being clamped, or the other would have noticed before he did the second car




Most excellent!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on May 30, 2011, 01:29:01 PM
Benefit cheats excuses ........

A survey by fraud investigators revealed the worst excuses used by benefit cheats were:

#
"We don't live together — he just comes each morning to fill up his flask."

#
"I wasn't using the ladders to clean windows, I carried them for therapy for my bad back."

#
"I had no idea my wife was working! I never noticed her leaving the house twice a day in a fluorescent jacket and a Stop Children sign."

#
"My wallet was stolen so someone must have been using my identity, I haven't been working".

#
"I didn't know I was still on benefit."

#
"I didn't declare my savings because I didn't save them, they were given to me."

#
"He lives in a caravan in the drive, we're not together."

#
"He does come here every night and leave in the morning and although he has no other address I don't regard him as living here."

#
"It wasn't me working, it was my identical twin."

#
"I wasn't aware my wife was working because her hours of work coincided with the times I spent in the garden shed."



http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3607241/Benefits-cheats-daftest-excuses.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2011, 01:30:11 PM
 redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on May 30, 2011, 01:35:21 PM
redface:

 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on May 31, 2011, 04:09:28 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/bangladesh/8546679/Bangladesh-woman-cut-off-attackers-penis.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/bangladesh/8546679/Bangladesh-woman-cut-off-attackers-penis.html)

 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on May 31, 2011, 08:44:08 AM
http://thylacosmilus.blogspot.com/2011/05/whats-rotherham-equivalent-of-duelling.html (http://thylacosmilus.blogspot.com/2011/05/whats-rotherham-equivalent-of-duelling.html)  razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 31, 2011, 12:40:25 PM
That seems comparatively simple compared to some of the 'stuff' that goes on up here. noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 31, 2011, 07:26:29 PM
Juxta positioned on the BBC website:

1: Bangladesh woman cuts off penis
2: Cucumber victims 'will increase'



 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on May 31, 2011, 07:58:47 PM
That seems comparatively simple compared to some of the 'stuff' that goes on up here. noooo:


 As per the professor  (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1392217/Muslim-outrage-professor-Steve-Jones-warns-inbreeding-risks.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 31, 2011, 09:27:23 PM
Well there is that but the gene pool in Barnsley is so shallow it has almost evaporated.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 01, 2011, 05:25:14 AM
Miss C ...these doggy deaths in Yorkshire  ?? ...you can account for your whereabouts over the past few days can't you  ??? rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 01, 2011, 07:10:19 AM
Oh yes I have been bizzy digging in my garden. angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 01, 2011, 09:17:22 AM
Oh yes I have been bizzy dogging in my garden. angel1

 eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 01, 2011, 09:36:30 AM
Darwin!  Spank2:

I'm sure Miss C was doing nothing more than fiddling with her clematis and toying with her lobelia  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 01, 2011, 09:38:31 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 01, 2011, 09:40:46 AM
Wot?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 01, 2011, 10:43:53 AM
Darwin!  Spank2:

I'm sure Miss C was doing nothing more than fiddling with her clematis and toying with her lobelia  whistle:

Yes, flitting from bed to bed with a fork in each one.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 01, 2011, 11:21:32 AM
http://thylacosmilus.blogspot.com/2011/06/yeah-sure-thats-going-to-happen.html (http://thylacosmilus.blogspot.com/2011/06/yeah-sure-thats-going-to-happen.html)  razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 01, 2011, 12:31:03 PM
Darwin!  Spank2:

I'm sure Miss C was doing nothing more than fiddling with her clematis and toying with her lobelia  whistle:

Yes, flitting from bed to bed with a fork in each one.


You are, of course, both quite correct. 

My trailing lobelia have been admired by many; why only this morning whilst in the garden, Graham my elderly neighbour, took them in his horny hands and pinched out a few dead bits for me. 8)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 01, 2011, 09:26:50 PM
I'm guessing Nick did the online vote  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1393035/FHM-horrified-readers-male-model-Andrej-Pejic-98th-sexiest-WOMAN.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on June 01, 2011, 09:34:54 PM
 scared2:  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: tel on June 02, 2011, 12:47:04 PM
http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/9061578.Ice_cream_man_filmed_in_public_sex_act_shame/

The last part is the best.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 02, 2011, 12:50:54 PM
Eeeeeeewwwwww sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 02, 2011, 09:45:54 PM
All the world needs is a Rocky musical?  lol:

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/02/rocky-musicals-a-go-creative-team-says/
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 03, 2011, 01:34:13 PM
Something you want to tell us Darwin?  lol:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3615775/Alligators-on-the-loose-in-Norfolk.html
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 03, 2011, 11:56:52 PM
Something you want to tell us Darwin?  lol:

[url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3615775/Alligators-on-the-loose-in-Norfolk.html[/url]


Diversify and make it snappy?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on June 04, 2011, 12:12:38 AM
Something you want to tell us Darwin?  lol:

[url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3615775/Alligators-on-the-loose-in-Norfolk.html[/url]


Diversify and make it snappy?


 drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2011, 04:47:23 AM
Something you want to tell us Darwin?  lol:

[url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3615775/Alligators-on-the-loose-in-Norfolk.html[/url]


Diversify and make it snappy?


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 05, 2011, 09:57:49 PM
.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2F34ss729k4%2Ftigerwoods2.jpg&hash=6b4ed063cdb2571b4c0db6c217f10127) (http://postimage.org/image/34ss729k4/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 05, 2011, 10:00:38 PM
.
([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2F34ss729k4%2Ftigerwoods2.jpg&hash=6b4ed063cdb2571b4c0db6c217f10127[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/34ss729k4/[/url])


 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 06, 2011, 09:02:46 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1394918/Vandals-posing-builders-paint-Microsoft-Windows-logo-Apple-store.html

 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2011, 03:19:58 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1394918/Vandals-posing-builders-paint-Microsoft-Windows-logo-Apple-store.html[/url]

 lol:



 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2011, 12:31:25 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13694911 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13694911)  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 08, 2011, 04:22:16 PM
Snoops will be grumpy that they don't do dog's ears.  We could start a new thread called...The all new what position are your ears in today. angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 08, 2011, 04:25:05 PM
Mine are one on each side of me 'ed ....... and of course lastly the one above my nose .... The Final Frontier!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 08, 2011, 04:27:59 PM
Mine are one on each side of me 'ed ....... and of course lastly the one above my nose .... The Final Frontier!

Ask Pirate where are his Buccaneers.

Correct response is: "Under me Buckin' hat"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2011, 04:32:46 PM
Mine are one on each side of me 'ed ....... and of course lastly the one above my nose .... The Final Frontier!

Ask Pirate where are his Buccaneers.

Correct response is: "Under me Buckin' hat"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 08, 2011, 07:10:01 PM
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Strange-News/China-Scientists-Engineer-Genetically-Modified-Cows-To-Produce-Human-Breast-Milk/Article/201106116006586?lpos=Strange_News_Carousel_Reg

Holly Williams, Beijing correspondent
Chinese scientists have genetically modified dairy cows to produce human breast milk, and hope to be selling it in supermarkets within three years.


The milk produced by the transgenic cows is identical to the human variety and has the same immune-boosting and antibacterial qualities as breast milk, scientists at China's Agricultural University in Beijing say.


BTW Pirates reports that his Buccaneers are with his buckin' pioneers
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2011, 07:15:12 PM
I will stick to the collapso  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 08, 2011, 07:50:28 PM
[url]http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Strange-News/China-Scientists-Engineer-Genetically-Modified-Cows-To-Produce-Human-Breast-Milk/Article/201106116006586?lpos=Strange_News_Carousel_Reg[/url]

Holly Williams, Beijing correspondent
Chinese scientists have genetically modified dairy cows to produce human breast milk, and hope to be selling it in supermarkets within three years.


The milk produced by the transgenic cows is identical to the human variety and has the same immune-boosting and antibacterial qualities as breast milk, scientists at China's Agricultural University in Beijing say.


BTW Pirates reports that his Buccaneers are with his buckin' pioneers


When I heard about this in the news I thought they had cloned Jordan  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 08, 2011, 07:55:11 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2000845/Staysha-Randall-attempts-world-record-3-200-piercings-single-sitting.html

eeek:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on June 08, 2011, 08:13:27 PM
 eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 08, 2011, 08:16:34 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2000845/Staysha-Randall-attempts-world-record-3-200-piercings-single-sitting.html[/url]

eeek:




She could have beaten that number by standing next to a dart board as SWWLTBO tried for a double  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 08, 2011, 08:23:52 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2000845/Staysha-Randall-attempts-world-record-3-200-piercings-single-sitting.html[/url]

eeek:




Why would you do that?  it's just bad and wrong on so many different levels.

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 08, 2011, 08:44:11 PM
Still, it takes the focus from her face  sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 08, 2011, 08:58:40 PM
Still, it takes the focus from her face  sick2:

Who parked it there?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 08, 2011, 09:03:27 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2011, 12:08:28 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2000845/Staysha-Randall-attempts-world-record-3-200-piercings-single-sitting.html[/url]

eeek:





Quote
I think she's very attractive .....to a magnet !

- Nick M, Birmingham UK, 08/6/2011 22:48


happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 09, 2011, 08:14:01 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-13702105

The BBC better include this in their coverage  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 09, 2011, 08:27:16 AM
An open and shut case  whistle:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13694382
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2011, 12:28:09 PM
An open and shut case  whistle:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13694382[/url]


TMR would fit in a small case like...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 10, 2011, 06:24:25 PM
Branching out from Yahoo answers by any chance Nick?  lol:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 10, 2011, 06:32:46 PM
An open and shut case  whistle:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13694382[/url]


TMR would fit in a small case like...  rubschin:


BM!!! That wasn't a nice thing to say. Here TMR, have a drink to make up for it.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F06%2F10%2Farticle-2002094-0C7FDE6600000578-162_306x468.jpg&hash=054002f182e5fb32917439cddd24f62c)


 whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 10, 2011, 07:41:16 PM
An open and shut case  whistle:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13694382[/url]


TMR would fit in a small case like...  rubschin:


BM!!! That wasn't a nice thing to say. Here TMR, have a drink to make up for it.

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F06%2F10%2Farticle-2002094-0C7FDE6600000578-162_306x468.jpg&hash=054002f182e5fb32917439cddd24f62c[/url])


 whistle:


Not that tall...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 10, 2011, 08:40:28 PM
Branching out from Yahoo answers by any chance Nick?  lol:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798[/url]

 happy001 happy001

He doesn't realise that the Zombies have already taken over the council.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on June 13, 2011, 07:04:33 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2002935/Pilot-killed-Goodyear-blimp-plunges-ground-flames-Germany.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2002935/Pilot-killed-Goodyear-blimp-plunges-ground-flames-Germany.html)

Not looking good with their 'Safety Together' logo on the 7th picture.  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 13, 2011, 08:13:44 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2002935/Pilot-killed-Goodyear-blimp-plunges-ground-flames-Germany.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2002935/Pilot-killed-Goodyear-blimp-plunges-ground-flames-Germany.html[/url])

Not looking good with their 'Safety Together' logo on the 7th picture.  scared2:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 14, 2011, 08:29:34 PM
Puts a different slant on being screwed by the lawyers..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003440/Attorney-Reema-Bajaj-25-charged-prostitution-performing-50-sex-act-man.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003440/Attorney-Reema-Bajaj-25-charged-prostitution-performing-50-sex-act-man.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 15, 2011, 07:14:44 PM
One for Miss D..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-13774062 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-13774062)

 whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 15, 2011, 07:38:31 PM
How could you make me click on that  evil:

Bastard  sad24:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2011, 07:44:27 PM
 point: point: point: point: point: point: point:
 scared2:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 15, 2011, 07:51:29 PM
point: point: point: point: point: point: point:
 scared2:

Why have you gone nuclear.  I know of many reasons that you should but why pictorially?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 15, 2011, 08:30:25 PM
point: point: point: point: point: point: point:
 scared2:

Why have you gone nuclear.  I know of many reasons that you should but why pictorially?

Its from the CCTV footage of the last time he used the microwave...  whistle:


I'm sorry Miss D, but I thought the therapy could help you get over your phobia.  happy100
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 15, 2011, 08:38:25 PM
And when did you become a trained fearapist ??? Eh, Eh   noooo:

Don't mess with my mojo again  sad24: sad24: sad24:

Or I will get you back  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 15, 2011, 11:10:31 PM
Or I will get you back  lol:

Promises promises  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 16, 2011, 07:05:30 AM
While the cold doesn't bother me, I'm not that bloody daft

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 16, 2011, 07:15:13 AM
The bare cheek of the woman thinking she could tame a whale  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 16, 2011, 07:19:18 AM
Where is that story about the man who tried to remove a wart with a shotgun?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 16, 2011, 07:21:01 AM
Where is that story about the man who tried to remove a wart with a shotgun?


And the BM award for shotgun proficiency goes to...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003744/Sean-Murphy-blasts-finger-shotgun-trying-remove-WART.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003744/Sean-Murphy-blasts-finger-shotgun-trying-remove-WART.html)

 lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 16, 2011, 09:31:43 AM
While the cold doesn't bother me, I'm not that bloody daft

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html[/url])


Good grief the woman is barking.  Can you imagine the size of her goosebumps.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 16, 2011, 09:40:08 AM
While the cold doesn't bother me, I'm not that bloody daft

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html[/url])


Good grief the woman is barking.  Can you imagine the size of her goosebumps.



I thought those were her t*ts  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 16, 2011, 09:59:55 AM
While the cold doesn't bother me, I'm not that bloody daft

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004042/Naked-female-scientist-tries-tame-beluga-whales-arctic.html[/url])


Good grief the woman is barking.  Can you imagine the size of her goosebumps.


I thought those were her t*ts  redface:


I think this is the Marine Biology equivalent of sending the Newbie to stores for a "long weight" .
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 16, 2011, 09:30:15 PM
 WTF  (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003556/Sheep-stranded-roof-Wales-rescued-firemen.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 16, 2011, 09:41:58 PM
Something tells me Darwin is about to get extremely busy.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/ushome/article-2004246/Ohio-passes-law-allowing-gun-owners-carry-guns-bars.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/ushome/article-2004246/Ohio-passes-law-allowing-gun-owners-carry-guns-bars.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 17, 2011, 04:27:38 AM
WTF  ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003556/Sheep-stranded-roof-Wales-rescued-firemen.html[/url])


Shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 17, 2011, 10:49:34 AM
WTF  ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2003556/Sheep-stranded-roof-Wales-rescued-firemen.html[/url])



The general opinion here is that it probably got out of someone's bedroom window, when it heard his wife coming home.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 17, 2011, 09:11:35 PM
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/jewish-court-sentences-dog-death-stoning-180029035.html (http://ca.news.yahoo.com/jewish-court-sentences-dog-death-stoning-180029035.html)

Snoops what have you been up too?

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 17, 2011, 10:13:21 PM
[url]http://ca.news.yahoo.com/jewish-court-sentences-dog-death-stoning-180029035.html[/url] ([url]http://ca.news.yahoo.com/jewish-court-sentences-dog-death-stoning-180029035.html[/url])

Snoops what have you been up too?


"I ate them because I thought they were Hula Hoops, Rabbi"  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 18, 2011, 12:00:14 PM

‎"The problem with quotes on the intenet, is that you can never know wether they're true or not."

- William Shakespeare
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 18, 2011, 12:04:52 PM
 lol:

I once bought two skulls from an antique shop that were supposed to be of William Shakespeare, one from when he was a boy, and one from when he grew up  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on June 18, 2011, 12:37:39 PM

‎"The problem with quotes on the intenet, is that you can never know wether they're true or not."

- William Shakespeare

 rubschin:

I don't think that was Shakespeare, wasn't it was Abe Lincoln...?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 18, 2011, 02:49:08 PM
lol:

I once bought two skulls from an antique shop that were supposed to be of William Shakespeare, one from when he was a boy, and one from when he grew up  rubschin:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 18, 2011, 08:29:04 PM
Branching out from Yahoo answers by any chance Nick?  lol:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798[/url])

 happy001 happy001

He doesn't realise that the Zombies have already taken over the council.


 Excellent  (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13823427)  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 19, 2011, 04:35:54 AM

‎"The problem with quotes on the intenet, is that you can never know wether they're true or not."

- William Shakespeare

happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 19, 2011, 04:39:33 PM
"Is it a bird Is it a plane? No it's Foreskin Man" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.   noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005515/Introducing-Foreskin-Man-Comic-hero-launched-battle-evil-circumcision.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005515/Introducing-Foreskin-Man-Comic-hero-launched-battle-evil-circumcision.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 20, 2011, 01:48:47 PM
Branching out from Yahoo answers by any chance Nick?  lol:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798[/url])


It was bound to happen  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005720/Leicester-invaded-zombie-hordes-flashmob-mass-shamble-city-centre.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005720/Leicester-invaded-zombie-hordes-flashmob-mass-shamble-city-centre.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 20, 2011, 01:51:01 PM
Psst, Grumpy, over here


Three posts up  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 20, 2011, 02:29:40 PM
Psst, Grumpy, over here


Three posts up  whistle:

Affs! worthy:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 20, 2011, 06:03:00 PM
 redface: I'm not having a good day today.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 20, 2011, 06:18:58 PM
'Ugly' people booted off date site for beautiful users

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/13841257 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/13841257)

More than 30,000 people have been banned from a dating website which says it's exclusively limited to beautiful users.

BeautifulPeople.com gets existing users to vote on whether or not someone's attractive enough to join.

But the site's boss says it was hit by a virus which let tens of thousands of people join without passing that test.

Most of them have now been sent an email apologising and saying they were "wrongly admitted".


Around one in seven applicants is accepted with the majority of successful new members coming from the USA, Denmark and France according to figures from the site.

The UK is among the countries with the highest rate of rejection alongside Russia and Poland.


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 20, 2011, 06:24:37 PM
22 years? Did they think she had just overdone the sun bed?  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005879/Identity-thief-caught-22-years-immigration-staff-finally-notice-black-white.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005879/Identity-thief-caught-22-years-immigration-staff-finally-notice-black-white.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2011, 06:22:30 AM
Eight million gallons of water drained from reservoir after man urinates in it  (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/8582593/Eight-million-gallons-of-water-drained-from-reservoir-after-man-urinates-in-it.html)

The world has gone completely mad...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 21, 2011, 06:25:07 AM
Letting the water pass you by
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 21, 2011, 06:31:50 AM
water flowing underground  point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2011, 07:57:03 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: barmisspah? on June 21, 2011, 11:23:08 AM
Eight million gallons of water drained from reservoir after man urinates in it  ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/8582593/Eight-million-gallons-of-water-drained-from-reservoir-after-man-urinates-in-it.html[/url])

The world has gone completely mad...  noooo:


So let me get this right.
The reservoir is open air, it presumably has fish in it, fish that swim, eat & crap.
Presumably there are also animals nearby who would drink from it, swim in it & crap in it.
They then send it direct to the population of Portland without it going through any form of
'cleaning' process whatsoever ?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2011, 11:33:23 AM
Eight million gallons of water drained from reservoir after man urinates in it  ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/8582593/Eight-million-gallons-of-water-drained-from-reservoir-after-man-urinates-in-it.html[/url])

The world has gone completely mad...  noooo:


So let me get this right.
The reservoir is open air, it presumably has fish in it, fish that swim, eat & crap.
Presumably there are also animals nearby who would drink from it, swim in it & crap in it.
They then send it direct to the population of Portland without it going through any form of
'cleaning' process whatsoever ?


I think you've hit the nail on the head... they're taking the piss...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on June 21, 2011, 12:22:52 PM
Or, more correctly, not taking the piss
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 22, 2011, 09:14:22 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbcimg.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F53568000%2Fjpg%2F_53568655_goalpost_2.jpg&hash=c5533a33c82d85ee2add26aa931fb554)

Council bosses have admitted scoring an "own goal" after a fence was built through the middle of football goalposts in a park in York.

The new fencing was installed at a cost of £6,000 on playing fields in Heworth.

It was erected before £37,000 worth of new play equipment is phased in at the park over the next few weeks.

Dave Meigh, City of York Council's head of parks and open spaces, said: "We recognise that the failure to relocate the goalposts is a real own goal



Unbelievable  noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on June 22, 2011, 09:20:27 PM
([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbcimg.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F53568000%2Fjpg%2F_53568655_goalpost_2.jpg&hash=c5533a33c82d85ee2add26aa931fb554[/url])

Council bosses have admitted scoring an "own goal" after a fence was built through the middle of football goalposts in a park in York.

The new fencing was installed at a cost of £6,000 on playing fields in Heworth.

It was erected before £37,000 worth of new play equipment is phased in at the park over the next few weeks.

Dave Meigh, City of York Council's head of parks and open spaces, said: "We recognise that the failure to relocate the goalposts is a real own goal



Unbelievable  noooo: noooo: noooo:


Does that mean if you are the other side of the fence, you are offside?

Anyhooo...talking of offside...

offside rule (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7n-p44kKaWc#)

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 22, 2011, 09:51:08 PM
([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbcimg.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F53568000%2Fjpg%2F_53568655_goalpost_2.jpg&hash=c5533a33c82d85ee2add26aa931fb554[/url])

Council bosses have admitted scoring an "own goal" after a fence was built through the middle of football goalposts in a park in York.

The new fencing was installed at a cost of £6,000 on playing fields in Heworth.

It was erected before £37,000 worth of new play equipment is phased in at the park over the next few weeks.

Dave Meigh, City of York Council's head of parks and open spaces, said: "We recognise that the failure to relocate the goalposts is a real own goal



Unbelievable  noooo: noooo: noooo:


Isn't Nick doing contract work for local government?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 24, 2011, 07:28:28 AM
37 years without washing  eeek: 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007220/Kailash-Singh-The-farm-worker-washed-37-years.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007220/Kailash-Singh-The-farm-worker-washed-37-years.html)

 sick2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on June 24, 2011, 01:54:43 PM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8596854/I-was-secret-5000-a-time-prostitute-claims-clerk-on-theft-charge.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8596854/I-was-secret-5000-a-time-prostitute-claims-clerk-on-theft-charge.html)

Apart from Mr Rooney I am not sure who would spend the money. ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pastis on June 24, 2011, 02:04:09 PM
It must be the sunglasses  rubschin:

I just can't tell the difference when they both wear sunglasses 

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.telegraph.co.uk%2Fmultimedia%2Farchive%2F01929%2Fstanton_1929498c.jpg&hash=812005aa0c71567b1bed5af1bb4525a5)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogcdn.com%2Fcelebrity.aol.co.uk%2Fmedia%2F2011%2F05%2Fhelenwoodsplash-1306490517_284x189.jpg&hash=fce33f75dff50bf9b9654047166efb2a)

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on June 24, 2011, 02:14:13 PM
It must be the sunglasses  rubschin:

I just can't tell the difference when they both wear sunglasses 

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.telegraph.co.uk%2Fmultimedia%2Farchive%2F01929%2Fstanton_1929498c.jpg&hash=812005aa0c71567b1bed5af1bb4525a5[/url])
([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogcdn.com%2Fcelebrity.aol.co.uk%2Fmedia%2F2011%2F05%2Fhelenwoodsplash-1306490517_284x189.jpg&hash=fce33f75dff50bf9b9654047166efb2a[/url])


 lol: lol: lol: Exactly Mr P
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on June 24, 2011, 11:47:22 PM
A WOMAN has died of heart failure caused by the shock of waking up at her own funeral.


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3656099/Wife-dies-after-she-wakes-up-at-funeral.html (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3656099/Wife-dies-after-she-wakes-up-at-funeral.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 25, 2011, 05:20:50 AM
Quote
A spokesman at the hospital in Kazan, Russia, said: "We are carrying out an investigation."


From which lessons will no doubt be learned.  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on June 25, 2011, 05:25:37 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2007971/Mick-Hucknall-says-ginger-jibes-akin-racism.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2007971/Mick-Hucknall-says-ginger-jibes-akin-racism.html)

Looks like we might have to go a bit easy on some of the members in here.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 25, 2011, 05:27:13 AM
A WOMAN has died of heart failure caused by the shock of waking up at her own funeral.


[url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3656099/Wife-dies-after-she-wakes-up-at-funeral.html[/url] ([url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3656099/Wife-dies-after-she-wakes-up-at-funeral.html[/url])


happy002

 redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 27, 2011, 06:36:18 AM
TV are reporting that his body may have remained undiscovered in a portaloo for 20 hours,  (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-13918856)  With those temperatures, I'd give it half hour if I were you



Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2011, 06:51:25 AM
TV are reporting that his body may have remained undiscovered in a portaloo for 20 hours,  ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-13918856[/url])  With those temperatures, I'd give it half hour if I were you


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2011, 06:55:39 AM
TV are reporting that his body may have remained undiscovered in a portaloo for 20 hours,  ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-13918856[/url])  With those temperatures, I'd give it half hour if I were you


I reckon he starved to death... 20 hours shouting under the door "Hey mate, have you got any paper out there?"
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 27, 2011, 09:12:25 AM
TV are reporting that his body may have remained undiscovered in a portaloo for 20 hours,  ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-13918856[/url])  With those temperatures, I'd give it half hour if I were you


I reckon he starved to death... 20 hours shouting under the door "Hey mate, have you got any paper out there?"


http://youtu.be/Vd-t4EKLWEY (http://youtu.be/Vd-t4EKLWEY)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2011, 09:19:53 AM
TV are reporting that his body may have remained undiscovered in a portaloo for 20 hours,  ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-13918856[/url])  With those temperatures, I'd give it half hour if I were you


I reckon he starved to death... 20 hours shouting under the door "Hey mate, have you got any paper out there?"


[url]http://youtu.be/Vd-t4EKLWEY[/url] ([url]http://youtu.be/Vd-t4EKLWEY[/url])


He enjoyed that!  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 28, 2011, 08:01:14 PM
'Tau day' marked by opponents of maths constant pi

The mathematical constant pi is under threat from a group of detractors who will be marking "Tau Day" on Tuesday.

Tau Day revellers suggest a constant called tau should take its place: twice as large as pi, or about 6.28 - hence the 28 June celebration.

Tau proponents say that for many problems in maths, tau makes more sense and makes calculations easier.


WTF  whacky115

 shrugs:

 NarrowEyes:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on June 28, 2011, 08:04:27 PM
'Tau day' marked by opponents of maths constant pi

The mathematical constant pi is under threat from a group of detractors who will be marking "Tau Day" on Tuesday.

Tau Day revellers suggest a constant called tau should take its place: twice as large as pi, or about 6.28 - hence the 28 June celebration.

Tau proponents say that for many problems in maths, tau makes more sense and makes calculations easier.


WTF  whacky115

 shrugs:

 NarrowEyes:

Pi under threat ........ eeek:

BM has a stock of them ........ whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2011, 08:08:48 PM
'Tau day' marked by opponents of maths constant pi

The mathematical constant pi is under threat from a group of detractors who will be marking "Tau Day" on Tuesday.

Tau Day revellers suggest a constant called tau should take its place: twice as large as pi, or about 6.28 - hence the 28 June celebration.

Tau proponents say that for many problems in maths, tau makes more sense and makes calculations easier.


WTF  whacky115

 shrugs:

 NarrowEyes:

Pi under threat ........ eeek:

BM has a stock of them ........ whistle:

I will corner the market!

This time next year I will be a miwyionaire!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 28, 2011, 08:19:34 PM
She'll have to rewrite it now

kate bush. pure pi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F2qtds1HF0#)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 28, 2011, 08:21:28 PM
Any excuse for pictures of Bush JOM  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on June 28, 2011, 08:24:23 PM
Any excuse for pictures of Bush JOM  noooo:

Miss D........... eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 28, 2011, 08:26:34 PM
Wot  sparkle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 28, 2011, 09:11:11 PM
Any excuse for pictures of Bush JOM  noooo:

I fell in love with her in 1978 and..... O I C  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on June 28, 2011, 09:35:56 PM
I like neatly trimmed bush...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.tinypic.com%2F10frsb9.jpg&hash=cc8e21115ef1e6e337eea76aa7368469)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on June 29, 2011, 05:15:20 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009307/What-wants-gets-How-teenage-daughter-dictates-family-spending.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009307/What-wants-gets-How-teenage-daughter-dictates-family-spending.html)

Any comments Miss D?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 29, 2011, 05:49:36 AM
I see they published my article  sad32:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2011, 05:52:41 AM
I see they published my article  sad32:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 29, 2011, 06:18:17 AM
I see they published my article  sad32:

Wot, the photo Pirate posted like  eyes:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on June 29, 2011, 12:11:23 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009307/What-wants-gets-How-teenage-daughter-dictates-family-spending.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009307/What-wants-gets-How-teenage-daughter-dictates-family-spending.html[/url])

Any comments Miss D?


Anyone with a teenage daughter could have told them that!

It is not "The willpower and determination" of teenage girls so much as a desire for a quiet life on the part of the parents, self included.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on June 29, 2011, 12:38:56 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009307/What-wants-gets-How-teenage-daughter-dictates-family-spending.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009307/What-wants-gets-How-teenage-daughter-dictates-family-spending.html[/url])

Any comments Miss D?


Anyone with a teenage daughter could have told them that!

It is not "The willpower and determination" of teenage girls so much as a desire for a quiet life on the part of the parents, self included.


ditto
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 29, 2011, 07:55:53 PM
And the no shit Sherlock award for stating the bleeding obvious goes to:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13948071 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13948071)

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on June 29, 2011, 08:08:49 PM
And on the same page. Arch mong
 point: point: point: point: point: point:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-13965282
 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-13965282)

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 29, 2011, 08:15:19 PM
And on the same page. Arch mong
 point: point: point: point: point: point:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-13965282[/url]
 ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-13965282[/url])


Oh God, I need to get on to someone else's wavelength sharpish  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 30, 2011, 07:18:57 AM
WTF??  eeek:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009527/NHS-nurse-offers-backstreet-genital-enlargement-using-sealant-gun-loaded-silicone.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009527/NHS-nurse-offers-backstreet-genital-enlargement-using-sealant-gun-loaded-silicone.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2011, 07:20:50 AM
WTF??  eeek:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009527/NHS-nurse-offers-backstreet-genital-enlargement-using-sealant-gun-loaded-silicone.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009527/NHS-nurse-offers-backstreet-genital-enlargement-using-sealant-gun-loaded-silicone.html[/url])


 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on June 30, 2011, 08:42:56 AM
I was wondering what to do with that left over silicone. I have a shed, I have the silicone, and the "gun". This time next year I could be a millionaire  lol: , or locked up  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 30, 2011, 11:37:03 AM
I was wondering what to do with that left over silicone. I have a shed, I have the silicone, and the "gun". This time next year I could be a millionaire  lol: , or locked up  scared2:

Or very popular with the laydees.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 30, 2011, 12:16:59 PM
Even more popular with the ladies , surely Darwin  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 01, 2011, 12:19:33 PM
The pool was cloudy? Just how cloudy does a public swimming pool have to be so that you don't notice a dead body in it for 2 days??  eeek:  sick2:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13986769 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13986769)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 01, 2011, 12:24:34 PM
The pool was cloudy? Just how cloudy does a public swimming pool have to be so that you don't notice a dead body in it for 2 days??  eeek:  sick2:

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13986769[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13986769[/url])


Eeewww, that is outrageous!  eeek:

Quote
One regular swimmer, Louie Cahill, told ABC: "The pool is 12ft deep. You cannot see anybody in the bottom of that pool."


Bollocks can you - we used to chuck coins in the deep end of the public pool as a kid and swim down to get them...  noooo:

Mind you, I did swim down and pick up a piece of poo once...  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 01, 2011, 03:40:02 PM
Wonder if the same approach could work with chavs here, offer a Subaru Impreza and £1500 in Lizzie Duke vouchers..  rubschin:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-13982031 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-13982031)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 01, 2011, 09:30:49 PM
Even more popular with the ladies , surely Darwin  lol:

 happy088   angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 04, 2011, 06:06:13 PM
This could lead to a new career for Nick...  whistle:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2011106/Overweight-ginger-man-romps-victory-Next-modelling-poll-online-sabotage-campaign.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2011106/Overweight-ginger-man-romps-victory-Next-modelling-poll-online-sabotage-campaign.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 05, 2011, 05:23:05 PM
Not sure where else to post this to get coverage on here.

Don't trust Murdoch's promises: stop the BSkyB takeover
www.38degrees.org.uk (http://www.38degrees.org.uk)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 05, 2011, 06:41:19 PM
You could always post it as a seperate thread Miss C.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 05, 2011, 06:46:08 PM
You could always post it as a seperate thread Miss C.  rubschin:

This is true.  I looked in The Commons but it was pretty empty and now JOM has done the honours.  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 05, 2011, 07:04:58 PM
You could always post the thread in each room, has the added bonus of driving BM up the wall  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on July 05, 2011, 07:07:40 PM
You could always post the thread in each room, has the added bonus of driving BM up the wall  lol:

Yeah... you could also add  surrender: and  Booo!: and really make his day, like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 05, 2011, 07:09:07 PM
This could become the new pub game......  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 05, 2011, 08:08:37 PM
Guess which surrender: will appear  sick2: when and  scared2: where you mean. Sinister:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on July 05, 2011, 08:30:28 PM
Guess which surrender: will appear  sick2: when and  scared2: where you mean. Sinister:

 rubschin: tsk...you should not mix alcohol with diazapam Miss C... noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 05, 2011, 09:20:41 PM
 Booo!:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2011, 03:03:27 AM
doh:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 06, 2011, 05:30:27 PM
Saw this and thought of Miss D...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14030720 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14030720)

 angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 06, 2011, 07:09:26 PM
doh:

 surrender:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2011, 08:20:49 PM
Saw this and thought of Miss D...

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14030720[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14030720[/url])

 angel1



(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F15k87qjt0%2Fcsales.jpg&hash=5c0b43c010119ac241323cb75ceb8a81) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 08, 2011, 03:15:43 PM
Ouch!!  eeek:

I've heard of having eyes in the back of your head but this..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-12040776 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-12040776)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 08, 2011, 03:20:24 PM
Clearly barking. noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 09, 2011, 07:50:21 PM
 Kinnell  (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-14002457)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 09, 2011, 07:52:44 PM
Kinnell  ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-14002457[/url])


Feck!  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 09, 2011, 07:56:51 PM
They should sack him, obviously crap at his job

I use to work with an ex-bomb disposal officer, total nutcase  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 10, 2011, 03:51:16 AM
They should sack him, obviously crap at his job

I use to work with an ex-bomb disposal officer, total nutcase  noooo:

I used to be good friends in the village here with a guy that was ex bomb disposal... worthy:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 10, 2011, 05:42:55 AM
Was that dangerous USB ?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 10, 2011, 05:56:13 AM
Was that dangerous USB ?  rubschin:

Yes dear...  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 11, 2011, 09:23:30 AM
11 July 2011 Last updated at 09:35
Cyprus: Zygi naval base munitions blast kills 12

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14102253 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14102253)

 rubschin: Does this explain the missing BM?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on July 11, 2011, 04:50:04 PM
11 July 2011 Last updated at 09:35
Cyprus: Zygi naval base munitions blast kills 12

[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14102253[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14102253[/url])

 rubschin: Does this explain the missing BM?


Iranian explosives kept in containers in the direct sunlight for 2 years next to a power plant ..............they were warned that the containers were "bulking" last week .........

We are not so smug now .....the rest of the summer with on/off electric ......... noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 11, 2011, 05:28:38 PM
Cyprus is gubbed  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on July 11, 2011, 08:08:44 PM
Cyprus is gubbed  noooo:

How will we keep the beer cold?...Although vino rouge should be room temerature, that is a saving grace.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Pirate on July 11, 2011, 08:22:10 PM
Village red... cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 14, 2011, 08:56:06 AM
'Pastafarian' wins right to wear sieve on his head in driving licence photo (well, he does belong to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2014553/Pastafarian-wins-right-wear-sieve-head-driving-licence-photo-does-belong-Church-Flying-Spaghetti-Monster.html#ixzz1S4Hj09Rx (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2014553/Pastafarian-wins-right-wear-sieve-head-driving-licence-photo-does-belong-Church-Flying-Spaghetti-Monster.html#ixzz1S4Hj09Rx)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F07%2F14%2Farticle-0-0CFECAA000000578-5_636x405.jpg&hash=5e30555c476878551c35c1a27842a778)

Pasta strainers are now considered suitable religious headgear in Austria... at least as far as the transport authorities are concerned.

Three years after applying for a new driver's licence, an Austrian man has finally received the laminated card - in which he is pictured with an upturned sieve on his head.

Niko Alm was allowed to wear the unusual headgear as it is deemed a suitable accessory for his 'Pastafarian' religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.



Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 14, 2011, 12:46:51 PM
When I first heard the story curiosity got the better of me so I had a look at the Loose Canon, the FSM bible. They are nuts but there is something about the idea of the universe being imperfect because it was created by a supreme being after a heavy drinking session that appeals to my sense of humour.  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 15, 2011, 04:24:53 AM
When I first heard the story curiosity got the better of me so I had a look at the Loose Canon, the FSM bible. They are nuts but there is something about the idea of the universe being imperfect because it was created by a supreme being after a heavy drinking session that appeals to my sense of humour.  lol:

Where do I sign up?  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 15, 2011, 12:39:41 PM
Here is the Website BM, although by their standards you are already a member. Just remember to drill some holes in the bucket.  lol:

http://www.venganza.org/ (http://www.venganza.org/)

Quote
join
So you want to be a Pastafarian

Great. Consider yourself a member.  You’ll notice there’s no hoops to jump through. You don’t need to pay anything. 

How to help the church

You can do that by spreading the word.  Tell people about Pastafarianism.  Point out that we’re the world’s most peaceful mainstream religion, having started no wars in our God’s name.  As far as I know there are no deaths attributed to our religion.

Can I be a member if I don’t literally Believe in the FSM?

Yes you can.  For the same reason that many in other religions don’t literally believe their scripture, you can be a Pastafarian without being a True Believer of our scripture.   In other words, do you know Christians who don’t take the Bible literally – but who consider themselves True Christians, nonetheless?  So do I.  In fact, True Belief is not often a requirement of religion.   Most religions are comprised of a group of people with similar – but not exact – world views.  Pastafarianism is no different in that regard.

Whatever you decide, remember this

FSM is a real, legitimate religion, as much as any other.  The fact that many see this is as a satirical religion doesn’t change the fact that by any standard one can come up with, our religion is as legitimate as any other.  And *that* is the point.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on July 15, 2011, 03:09:07 PM
Headline on the front of my sister's Daily Mail

"Big push for home births"

An intentional pun?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on July 15, 2011, 03:11:35 PM
No doubt in my mind ..... Bloody sub-editor prolly got a pay rise for it.  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 15, 2011, 03:11:52 PM
Headline on the front of my sister's Daily Mail

"Big push for home births"

An intentional pun?  rubschin:
Unlikely...  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2011, 11:33:50 AM
Croissant scam costs man £258,000 (http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/Croissant-scam-costs-man-258-yahoofinanceuk-3175110601.html)

 eeek: Do what now?  eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 16, 2011, 11:36:29 AM
Cyprus is gubbed  noooo:

How will we keep the beer cold?...Although vino rouge should be room temerature, that is a saving grace.  cloud9:

yes but currently room temperature is eleventeen million degrees. vino rouge not so good when almost at boiling point  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2011, 11:41:23 AM
Cyprus is gubbed  noooo:

How will we keep the beer cold?...Although vino rouge should be room temerature, that is a saving grace.  cloud9:

yes but currently room temperature is eleventeen million degrees. vino rouge not so good when almost at boiling point  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 16, 2011, 11:45:41 AM
its minging! caught apc having a glass the other day and I swear there was steam coming off the glass. He had to blow on it before taking a sip.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2011, 11:46:34 AM
its minging! caught apc having a glass the other day and I swear there was steam coming off the glass. He had to blow on it before taking a sip.

No such worries here like....  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 16, 2011, 11:48:05 AM
Is my pink fizzy shite still a-chillin?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2011, 11:51:15 AM
Is my pink fizzy shite still a-chillin?

Yes... I think Mr. Melon is past his sell-by tho....  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 16, 2011, 11:52:06 AM
put it in a metal container in the sun and see if it explodes.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2011, 11:53:50 AM
put it in a metal container in the sun and see if it explodes.

 lol:

I'll prolly sling it over the cliff....  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 16, 2011, 11:58:40 AM
oooo, yes yes! then watch the strays eat it and get hammered!!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2011, 12:00:02 PM
oooo, yes yes! then watch the strays eat it and get hammered!!

Smear it with cat food first you say...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 16, 2011, 12:06:55 PM
or watch the birdies crashing from the sky. Actually, that will certainly make the sparrows shit on your pathway. rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on July 16, 2011, 12:15:21 PM
or watch the birdies crashing from the sky. Actually, that will certainly make the sparrows shit on your pathway. rubschin:

If they can crawl that far!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on July 17, 2011, 07:55:50 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2015717/That-sinking-feeling-Motorist-parks-slipway-save-2-car-park-fee-watches-carried-sea.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2015717/That-sinking-feeling-Motorist-parks-slipway-save-2-car-park-fee-watches-carried-sea.html)

 happy001 happy001 Wankah:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 19, 2011, 04:51:42 PM
Ye cannae break the laws of Google captain  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2016191/William-Shatner-Google-account-deleted-violating-standards.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2016191/William-Shatner-Google-account-deleted-violating-standards.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 20, 2011, 02:03:46 PM
Well I'd never have figured this one out. The weight of medieval armour would have had an effect on the course of a battle because whoever was wearing it would get tired.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14204717 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14204717)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 22, 2011, 03:12:13 PM
Half human half ape hybrids? Its too late, look at Wayne Rooney  whistle:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2017475/Beware-Planet-Apes-experiments-create-sci-fi-nightmare.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2017475/Beware-Planet-Apes-experiments-create-sci-fi-nightmare.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 22, 2011, 05:57:27 PM
I appreciate the gravity of what is happening in Norway as I type, but Sky are reporting that the attacker is blond, 1.9m tall and spoke Norwegian. Fuck me, that narrows it down a bit
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Baldy on July 22, 2011, 06:08:46 PM
I appreciate the gravity of what is happening in Norway as I type, but Sky are reporting that the attacker is blond, 1.9m tall and spoke Norwegian. Fuck me, that narrows it down a bit

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on July 23, 2011, 06:27:11 AM
When they were racing I always wanted Steve Ovett  to do this  (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/athletics/14257153.stm) to Seb Coe. Actually I'd pay to see it happen now  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 23, 2011, 06:35:31 AM
 lol:

I think there would be quite a lot of people lining up to do that to Lord Coe right now  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 03, 2011, 08:24:25 PM
So becoming an MP gives you an incredible sexual magnetism?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14387836

Yeah, that's why Anne Widdecombe was beating them off with a stick.   lol:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 10, 2011, 08:32:51 AM
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/07/19/self-destruct-buttons-are-a-needless-risk-329/ (http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/07/19/self-destruct-buttons-are-a-needless-risk-329/) razz:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 12, 2011, 08:01:34 PM
Unfortunately Nick, where you are concerned every button is the self destruct one.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on August 17, 2011, 12:00:01 PM
Very clever prank .........

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026876/McMystery-McDonalds-M-appears-roof-chapel-uninhabited-island.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026876/McMystery-McDonalds-M-appears-roof-chapel-uninhabited-island.html)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 17, 2011, 12:44:31 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026964/52st-Susanne-Eman-wants-worlds-fattest-woman.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026964/52st-Susanne-Eman-wants-worlds-fattest-woman.html)

This woman has hit 50 stone but her target weight is 115 STONE!! with a diet of just short of 22,000 calories per sodding day. And she thinks that the fatter she gets the sexier she gets??  eeek:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F17%2Farticle-2026964-0D75EC0000000578-110_306x420.jpg&hash=b106521dcd259576dcc6beead543ebcd)

Yeah, I can really see that.  sick2:

Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 17, 2011, 02:43:34 PM
Very clever prank .........

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026876/McMystery-McDonalds-M-appears-roof-chapel-uninhabited-island.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026876/McMystery-McDonalds-M-appears-roof-chapel-uninhabited-island.html[/url])


Excellent!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 17, 2011, 02:45:20 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026964/52st-Susanne-Eman-wants-worlds-fattest-woman.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026964/52st-Susanne-Eman-wants-worlds-fattest-woman.html[/url])

This woman has hit 50 stone but her target weight is 115 STONE!! with a diet of just short of 22,000 calories per sodding day. And she thinks that the fatter she gets the sexier she gets??  eeek:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F17%2Farticle-2026964-0D75EC0000000578-110_306x420.jpg&hash=b106521dcd259576dcc6beead543ebcd[/url])

Yeah, I can really see that.  sick2:



Eeewwww!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 17, 2011, 04:17:39 PM
she so purrrty.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 17, 2011, 04:19:22 PM
You could melt her down and make a fortune in the glue business :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 17, 2011, 04:53:19 PM
she looks like someone already started to melt her down..
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 17, 2011, 07:06:16 PM
You could melt her down and make a fortune in the glue business :thumbsup:

 rubschin: NASA has some spare SRB's that should be up to the task...
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: bodiam on August 18, 2011, 05:42:13 AM
 sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2:
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026964/52st-Susanne-Eman-wants-worlds-fattest-woman.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026964/52st-Susanne-Eman-wants-worlds-fattest-woman.html[/url])

This woman has hit 50 stone but her target weight is 115 STONE!! with a diet of just short of 22,000 calories per sodding day. And she thinks that the fatter she gets the sexier she gets??  eeek:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F17%2Farticle-2026964-0D75EC0000000578-110_306x420.jpg&hash=b106521dcd259576dcc6beead543ebcd[/url])

Yeah, I can really see that.  sick2:



Eeewwww!
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 19, 2011, 06:22:35 AM
Airline to put 'weep warnings'  (http://uk.travel.yahoo.com/p-promo-3361500)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 19, 2011, 06:30:22 AM
If they told me to have the tissues ready I would be disappointed if Toy Story 3 came on  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 19, 2011, 07:15:35 AM
If they told me to have the tissues ready I would be disappointed if Toy Story 3 came on  redface:

My first thought...  redface:





Waits for apc's Schindler's List joke....  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 19, 2011, 07:29:15 AM
If they told me to have the tissues ready I would be disappointed if Toy Story 3 came on  redface:

My first thought...  redface:





Waits for apc's Schindler's List joke....  ::)

 cussing:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 19, 2011, 07:33:24 AM
If they told me to have the tissues ready I would be disappointed if Toy Story 3 came on  redface:

My first thought...  redface:





Waits for apc's Schindler's List joke....  ::)

 cussing:

 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 25, 2011, 02:26:03 PM
So the hose 'accidentally' ended up there?  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029589/Gareth-Durrant-ballooned-air-hose-accidentally-lodged-backside.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029589/Gareth-Durrant-ballooned-air-hose-accidentally-lodged-backside.html)

I'd find that a tad far fetched even if Nick said it had happened to him.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on August 25, 2011, 02:37:16 PM
So the hose 'accidentally' ended up there?  rubschin:

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029589/Gareth-Durrant-ballooned-air-hose-accidentally-lodged-backside.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029589/Gareth-Durrant-ballooned-air-hose-accidentally-lodged-backside.html[/url])

I'd find that a tad far fetched even if Nick said it had happened to him.  whistle:


Looks like it happened to his bird as well........... rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 25, 2011, 10:16:34 PM
Waspzilla!!  eeek:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F25%2Farticle-2029913-0D90688E00000578-1_634x381.jpg&hash=5349f75565c804b7a6d65a38d879701e)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2029913/Warrior-wasp-discovered-jungle-jaws-longer-legs.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2029913/Warrior-wasp-discovered-jungle-jaws-longer-legs.html)

How long do you think before we hear they've made it over here in a fruit shipment, or something similar.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: apc2010 on August 25, 2011, 10:25:38 PM
Waspzilla!!  eeek:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F25%2Farticle-2029913-0D90688E00000578-1_634x381.jpg&hash=5349f75565c804b7a6d65a38d879701e[/url])

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2029913/Warrior-wasp-discovered-jungle-jaws-longer-legs.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2029913/Warrior-wasp-discovered-jungle-jaws-longer-legs.html[/url])

How long do you think before we hear they've made it over here in a fruit shipment, or something similar.


Don't worry BM is an expert ............... whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 25, 2011, 10:47:49 PM
Don't worry BM is an expert ............... whistle:

I'm almost afraid to ask...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2011, 04:22:35 AM
Waspzilla!!  eeek:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F25%2Farticle-2029913-0D90688E00000578-1_634x381.jpg&hash=5349f75565c804b7a6d65a38d879701e[/url])

[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2029913/Warrior-wasp-discovered-jungle-jaws-longer-legs.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2029913/Warrior-wasp-discovered-jungle-jaws-longer-legs.html[/url])

How long do you think before we hear they've made it over here in a fruit shipment, or something similar.


Don't worry BM is an expert ............... whistle:


That is nuffink!  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 26, 2011, 05:17:25 AM
Top photography  :thumbsup:  He must have waited hours and hours before he managed to get two of them so close together in one shot  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2011, 05:31:04 AM
Top photography  :thumbsup:  He must have waited hours and hours before he managed to get two of them so close together in one shot  whistle:

To be fair, the one that messed up with the javelin wasn't going very far....  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 26, 2011, 05:35:35 AM
Top photography  :thumbsup:  He must have waited hours and hours before he managed to get two of them so close together in one shot  whistle:

To be fair, the one that messed up with the javelin wasn't going very far....  noooo:

It was always Fatima's fate with those looks like
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2011, 05:38:18 AM
Top photography  :thumbsup:  He must have waited hours and hours before he managed to get two of them so close together in one shot  whistle:

To be fair, the one that messed up with the javelin wasn't going very far....  noooo:

It was always Fatima's fate with those looks like

Indeed...  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 26, 2011, 08:54:53 AM

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F25%2Farticle-2029913-0D90688E00000578-1_634x381.jpg&hash=5349f75565c804b7a6d65a38d879701e[/url])



I am sure it is just honest journalistic licence and I am pedantic, but why is the inches 'scale' not to scale?

You would certainly need to roll up a broadsheet newspaper for the big one, a tabloid would be no good. scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 26, 2011, 09:18:25 AM
The Telegraph hornet service will be starting early in 2012.  The on-line service for virtual hornets will go live shortly after.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 26, 2011, 02:09:15 PM
Don't try this at home



(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F1wp33ok3o%2Fimage0022.jpg&hash=b2acc675626cae59d511ff340911ac0e) (http://postimage.org/image/1wp33ok3o/)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2011, 03:04:03 PM
Don't try this at home



([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F1wp33ok3o%2Fimage0022.jpg&hash=b2acc675626cae59d511ff340911ac0e[/url]) ([url]http://postimage.org/image/1wp33ok3o/[/url])


 rubschin:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 26, 2011, 04:36:38 PM
He won't be tossing anything for a while then  scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 26, 2011, 04:40:31 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 26, 2011, 08:26:55 PM
He won't be tossing anything for a while then  scared2:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 27, 2011, 05:32:20 PM
 Tortoise fitted with wheels  (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-14679322)

You'd just have to do that thing with it that we did as kids with toy cars when you ran it forward a few times while holding it then released it so it went faster  ;D

And what's this all about, ".... inheriting the pet from a previous owner who said they could not cope" 
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 27, 2011, 05:34:32 PM
I still do that with my toy cars  redface:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 27, 2011, 07:40:12 PM
a previous owner who said they could not cope"

Indeed, tortoises can be very demanding.  whacky115
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 27, 2011, 07:43:03 PM
'Mr Jackson has owned Yuri for 40 years, inheriting the pet from a previous owner who said they could not cope.

He and his wife also own horses, chickens, two dogs and a parrot.

Yuri's favourite foods include strawberries, bananas and brown bread.'


Let's hope Mr Jackson does not decide to fit wheels to the rest of his animals.

I had a tortoise as a pet when I was a child. She, for her name was Dumbella, was an escape artist and we once had to go and fetch her/it from about half a mile away.  The finders being able to phone us because my father had the sense to paint our phone number on the underside of it after about the third escape. 

my father could cope no longer and he drilled a hole through the back of it's shell through which he tied string. I was not sad enough to take it for a walk, but it was tied to the rotary drier. redface: It was a long length of string obviously.
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 27, 2011, 08:00:07 PM
... my father could cope no longer and he drilled a hole through the back of it's shell through which he tied string. I was not sad enough to take it for a walk, but it was tied to the rotary drier. redface: It was a long length of string obviously.

Why do I have this image of a windy day, sheets on the rotary drier and a tortoise whizzing round at 30mph  ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 27, 2011, 08:09:01 PM
'Mr Jackson has owned Yuri for 40 years, inheriting the pet from a previous owner who said they could not cope.

He and his wife also own horses, chickens, two dogs and a parrot.

Yuri's favourite foods include strawberries, bananas and brown bread.'


Let's hope Mr Jackson does not decide to fit wheels to the rest of his animals.

I had a tortoise as a pet when I was a child. She, for her name was Dumbella, was an escape artist and we once had to go and fetch her/it from about half a mile away.  The finders being able to phone us because my father had the sense to paint our phone number on the underside of it after about the third escape. 

my father could cope no longer and he drilled a hole through the back of it's shell through which he tied string. I was not sad enough to take it for a walk, but it was tied to the rotary drier. redface: It was a long length of string obviously.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftherochesterarmoury.co.uk%2Fcatalog%2Fimages%2Fball%2520and%2520chain.jpg&hash=b66f81f78abc14f978120bc0e5353e93)

 sad24: sad24:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 27, 2011, 08:48:48 PM
... my father could cope no longer and he drilled a hole through the back of it's shell through which he tied string. I was not sad enough to take it for a walk, but it was tied to the rotary drier. redface: It was a long length of string obviously.


Why do I have this image of a windy day, sheets on the rotary drier and a tortoise whizzing round at 30mph  ;D


 lol:

Funny you should say that JOM but it would go round  in circles and it wore a sort of path in the grass. One day my sister and I were at home she was upstairs shagging her boyfriend my mother came home early from work. I hurriedly ushered her outside to inspect the tortoise track whilst BF did a bunk. 

My mother thought I was bonkers, she has never treated me the same since. sad24:

I didn't get much thanks from my sister and BF either. evil:  Poor poor used Dumbella. noooo:

It was for her own good DS.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F2cxap103o%2Fjanet_and_john.jpg&hash=6ebadec45df626c6b8eca2f3d4f56f14) (http://www.postimage.org/)

 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2011, 04:05:05 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: bodiam on August 28, 2011, 06:56:55 AM
did your mum use it - hamster in a wheel like- to dry her washing on a still day- all be it very slowly. And too bad if the tortoise wanted to go one way and the wind blew the rotary line the other way.   shrugs:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2011, 06:58:51 AM
did your mum use it - hamster in a wheel like- to dry her washing on a still day- all be it very slowly. And too bad if the tortoise wanted to go one way and the wind blew the rotary line the other way.   shrugs:

Got it right second time...  ;)

I like the idea of giving the poor thing maryjuana leaves or summat and creating the world's largest spin dryer...  lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 29, 2011, 10:22:15 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-14705328 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-14705328)
 point:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 29, 2011, 10:57:39 AM
 lol:

I am reminded of a night shift handover when the outgoing manager informed me that both my mobile patrol men were already on the road but would be unavailable to me for about an hour or so. He went on to say that Guard XXXXX was presently at the North Middlesex Hospital having his broken leg removed and expected to be on Site 1476  in about an hour so one Mobile was baby sitting the site whilst the other was going to Guard XXXXX's home to inform his wife. Apparently an ambulance, leaving the hospital, had knocked the guard off his motorbike so they had carted him in to A&E whilst the receptionist summoned the hospital engineers to fix his bike.
The MD was in the control room at the time and became very agitated at our apparent lack of concern at all this "How can he have his leg removed and you two still expect him to be on site in an hour?"..... Woodstock, who was manning the radio controls that night, then explained to the MD that Guard XXXXX was known to be accident prone and was frequently having to go to hospital to have his tin leg straightened or replaced so he had been given a "spare" to keep in reserve. All we had to do was arrange for it to be collected from his home and delivered to A&E and he'd be back on duty.
The MD turned white and left.
The next day a memo came out from head office demanding to know how many other guards were deficient in limbs and how they had passed the medical.

We sent back a polite note saying as far as we knew 6 out of 750 had at least one false limb and two more each had a glass eye. We added that we could make no comment on the mental capacity of any of the others.

The MD never came into the control room at handover time again.   ;D
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Barman on August 29, 2011, 01:49:06 PM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-14705328[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-14705328[/url])
 point:


happy001
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 29, 2011, 06:49:35 PM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-14705328[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-14705328[/url])
 point:


happy001


Read that earlier. The bit that took me a bit aback was this:

A spokeswoman for the company said it placed electronic tags on "70,000 subjects a year on behalf of the Ministry of Justice".

70,000 !!!!!!

 noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 29, 2011, 06:53:36 PM
SO which of us has got one?   scared2:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 29, 2011, 06:54:59 PM
Not me   angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 29, 2011, 07:04:50 PM
 angel1
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 29, 2011, 07:07:48 PM
I don't do ankle bracelets  noooo:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on August 29, 2011, 07:09:08 PM
Can't get one big enough?  happy100
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 29, 2011, 07:11:27 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Snoopy on August 31, 2011, 12:57:58 PM
"Britney Spears to try for a baby with fiancé"

Source: http://tinyurl.com/3mgh47e (http://tinyurl.com/3mgh47e)

WTF? She only has to open her legs .... that's how you get babies.  ::)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Just One More on August 31, 2011, 04:42:00 PM
"Britney Spears to try for a baby with fiancé"

Source: [url]http://tinyurl.com/3mgh47e[/url] ([url]http://tinyurl.com/3mgh47e[/url])

WTF? She only has to open her legs .... that's how you get babies.  ::)


Don't confuse the lass Snoopy. Tthe last time she was told she only had to open her legs, it was how you get a recording contract  ;)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 01, 2011, 08:57:11 AM
"Britney Spears to try for a baby with fiancé"

Source: [url]http://tinyurl.com/3mgh47e[/url] ([url]http://tinyurl.com/3mgh47e[/url])

WTF? She only has to open her legs .... that's how you get babies.  ::)


Isn't she from the deep south Snoop? Normally when they try for babies down that way it's with their siblings so that's probably confusing her.  whistle:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 01, 2011, 08:58:03 AM
R.I.P. Mr Toad. 

http://io9.com/5835375/frog-the-size-of-a-child-found-eaten-in-malaysia (http://io9.com/5835375/frog-the-size-of-a-child-found-eaten-in-malaysia)
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 01, 2011, 09:02:49 AM
R.I.P. Mr Toad. 

[url]http://io9.com/5835375/frog-the-size-of-a-child-found-eaten-in-malaysia[/url] ([url]http://io9.com/5835375/frog-the-size-of-a-child-found-eaten-in-malaysia[/url])


"French Consul questioned."
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: bodiam on September 01, 2011, 05:33:31 PM
R.I.P. Mr Toad. 

[url]http://io9.com/5835375/frog-the-size-of-a-child-found-eaten-in-malaysia[/url] ([url]http://io9.com/5835375/frog-the-size-of-a-child-found-eaten-in-malaysia[/url])
you sure it wasn't a child?? tunble:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 04, 2011, 07:36:49 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2033069/Talk-high-sex-drive-Amorous-couple-left-swinging-rooftop-car-park-kicking-car-reverse-passionate-clinch.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2033069/Talk-high-sex-drive-Amorous-couple-left-swinging-rooftop-car-park-kicking-car-reverse-passionate-clinch.html)

lol:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2011, 08:19:58 PM
Been there, done that  noooo:

I still have a limp
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 04, 2011, 08:23:05 PM
Been there, done that  noooo:

I still have a limp

A limp what?
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2011, 08:25:12 PM
I sort of walk unevenly  evil:
Title: Re: Fantastic Headlines
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 04, 2011, 08:46:59 PM
I sort of walk unevenly  evil:

On the wild side?