The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Library => Topic started by: Nick on May 12, 2019, 10:07:56 AM

Title: Great stuff
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2019, 10:07:56 AM
Our new Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage, is a wonderful poet. I have read most of his stuff and introduced Miss I to his work, which she also loves. We once went to see him read his work in Nottingham and famously encountered him in the street where he had to endure being hugged and rubbed by Miss I  ::)


(https://i.postimg.cc/R3Q7vpM7/armit.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/R3Q7vpM7)

Heard a wonderful story this morning. He once went into a charity shop and noticed one of his own early volumes of poetry for sale second hand. Out of curiousity he took it off the shelf and looked inside. There was an inscription. It read: "To mum and dad, love from Simon" IN HIS OWN HANDWRITING!  eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2019, 10:14:39 AM
Our new Poet Laureate, Simon Armitage, is a wonderful poet. I have read most of his stuff and introduced Miss I to his work, which she also loves. We once went to see him read his work in Nottingham and famously encountered him in the street where he had to endure being hugged and rubbed by Miss I  ::)


(https://i.postimg.cc/R3Q7vpM7/armit.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/R3Q7vpM7)

Heard a wonderful story this morning. He once went into a charity shop and noticed one of his own early volumes of poetry for sale second hand. Out of curiousity he took it off the shelf and looked inside. There was an inscription. It read: "To mum and dad, love from Simon" IN HIS OWN HANDWRITING!  eeek: eeek:

They sold it! happy001
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2019, 10:21:09 AM
No, they gave it away!!
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2019, 10:22:16 AM
No, they gave it away!!

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Steve on May 12, 2019, 10:34:23 AM
So I looked up some of his poems.  Bit of a wit  :thumbsup:  (which may explain the OP story)


Homework
BY SIMON ARMITAGE

Itís evening again, late.
I go out into the lane
and doodle a beard and mustache
on the face of the moon
with a red pen.
 
Over the next hill
an old teacher of mine
takes off her glasses
and wipes the lenses with a soft cloth.
She canít believe
what sheís just seen.


 ;D  he'll do as Laureate
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 12, 2019, 11:04:31 AM
So I looked up some of his poems.  Bit of a wit  :thumbsup:  (which may explain the OP story)


Homework
BY SIMON ARMITAGE

Itís evening again, late.
I go out into the lane
and doodle a beard and mustache
on the face of the moon
with a red pen.
 
Over the next hill
an old teacher of mine
takes off her glasses
and wipes the lenses with a soft cloth.
She canít believe
what sheís just seen.


 ;D  he'll do as Laureate
I can also
Write poems
That do not rhyme
But I really
Can't be arsed
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: apc2010 on May 12, 2019, 11:05:32 AM
So I looked up some of his poems.  Bit of a wit  :thumbsup:  (which may explain the OP story)


Homework
BY SIMON ARMITAGE

Itís evening again, late.
I go out into the lane
and doodle a beard and mustache
on the face of the moon
with a red pen.
 
Over the next hill
an old teacher of mine
takes off her glasses
and wipes the lenses with a soft cloth.
She canít believe
what sheís just seen.


 ;D  he'll do as Laureate
I can also
Write poems
That do not rhyme
But I really
Can't be arsed

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Steve on May 12, 2019, 11:13:33 AM
So I looked up some of his poems.  Bit of a wit  :thumbsup:  (which may explain the OP story)


Homework
BY SIMON ARMITAGE

Itís evening again, late.
I go out into the lane
and doodle a beard and mustache
on the face of the moon
with a red pen.
 
Over the next hill
an old teacher of mine
takes off her glasses
and wipes the lenses with a soft cloth.
She canít believe
what sheís just seen.


 ;D  he'll do as Laureate
I can also
Write poems
That do not rhyme
But I really
Can't be arsed

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Steve on May 12, 2019, 11:20:13 AM
Why didn't they give the job to Pam Ayres?

Utter brilliance combining acute observation with wit and rhyme:  https://pamayres.com/index.php/category/poems/

'Yes, Iíll marry you, my dear.
And hereís the reason why.
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry.
And if we hear a knocking
And itís creepy and itís late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes Iíll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
Itís you that has to mend it.
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
Itís you that has to whack him.

Yes, Iíll marry you, my dear,
Youíre virile and youíre lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!!!

Itís you who has to work the drill
And put up curtain track,
And when Iíve got PMT itís you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I DO, I DO, I DO!! '
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2019, 01:44:58 PM
In that poetic locality Wendy Cope is far superior  whistle:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Steve on May 12, 2019, 01:52:46 PM
In that poetic locality Wendy Cope is far superior  whistle:
she's good - Engineer's Corner  :thumbsup: - but Ayres has been brilliant for so long
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2019, 03:27:46 PM
So I looked up some of his poems.  Bit of a wit  :thumbsup:  (which may explain the OP story)


Homework
BY SIMON ARMITAGE

Itís evening again, late.
I go out into the lane
and doodle a beard and mustache
on the face of the moon
with a red pen.
 
Over the next hill
an old teacher of mine
takes off her glasses
and wipes the lenses with a soft cloth.
She canít believe
what sheís just seen.


 ;D  he'll do as Laureate
I can also
Write poems
That do not rhyme
But I really
Can't be arsed

happy001
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2019, 03:42:56 PM
I am surrounded by Philistines. (Mr Darwin can explain about Matthew Arnold, obvously).

Arnold was quite a good poet too, on occasions. I may start a thread.... whistle:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: apc2010 on May 12, 2019, 04:40:09 PM
I am surrounded by Philistines. (Mr Darwin can explain about Matthew Arnold, obvously).

Arnold was quite a good poet too, on occasions. I may start a thread.... whistle:

Whose from Palestine........ eeek: eeek: scared2:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2019, 04:44:33 PM
*Who's  ::)

Palestine  noooo: noooo: noooo:

We are all surrounded by idiots  Banghead Banghead Banghead

I could send you the text of the whole book FREE
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: apc2010 on May 12, 2019, 07:02:21 PM
*Who's  ::)

Palestine  noooo: noooo: noooo:

We are all surrounded by idiots  Banghead Banghead Banghead

I could send you the text of the whole book FREE

We are ........ Thumbs:


Or we're .......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2019, 07:20:02 PM
Either, you mong!
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: apc2010 on May 12, 2019, 07:29:38 PM
Either, you mong!

So ......Just us ...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Great stuff
Post by: Steve on May 12, 2019, 08:03:32 PM
*Who's  ::)

Palestine  noooo: noooo: noooo:

We are all surrounded by idiots  Banghead Banghead Banghead

I could send you the text of the whole book FREE
And second prize is you send them TWO whole books of his poems?